The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

....... like to .......

[Captain]

WRECK FRYING ANNOUNCEMENT

 

CONGRATULATIONS TO GERALD HAT TRICK FOR THE 13,000 TH POST IN THE NES.

 

PLEASE CONTACT THE WF SHOP FOR YOUR $13,000 GIFT CARD.

 

ALWAYS VERY DISAPPOINTING WHEN A NES BLOW-IN PICKS UP THE CASH.

 

MODERATOR 7

[Jerry_Atrick]

....... like to .......

 

..... ensure that ....

[hihosland]

......they can continue in the role of CEO.

A policy never practiced more successfully than the esteemed CEO of TE who ever since the grand debacle of the pink panty hose has ensured that never again would .................

[onetrack]

......pink panty hose be found in the Turbo McMansion. The discovery of the pink panty hose by his guests, and the public display thereof, is not something that the CEO of TE ever wishes to revisit.

 

Of course, he played down the find by stating he carried PPP as emergency repair material - you know, the old emergency drive belt trick. But then, he was hard pressed to point out the drive belts on his aircraft (avref).

 

"Well, it can be used for other emergencies, too", Turbo said, rather lamely, when it was becoming obvious that his excuses for having PPP on his person, weren't going to wash.

 

"Come on, Turbs", said Hi-Ho, "We know there's a lot more to this PPP that you're prepared to admit to, so give us the full..........

[hihosland]

.. inside leg length in order that El Capitan can adjudicate on behalf of .......

[turboplanner]

...the homeless and poor.

Not many people know that in WW2 "inside leg length was code for I have a message for you. So if you were a partisan and your Contact was a Tailor, you'd go into his shop every morning and ask for the price of a suit. If the Tailor said "I have to check your inside leg length, you'd know he had new information and he would slip a piece of paper into your trouser leg as he flourished the tape.

Hi-Ho was one such partisan who risked his life for his country running messages from Headquarters in England to blow up a train, caut the throat or a particular Geerman of locase a case of Champagne. He didn't do it often because he and Nancy Wake were shacked up in a Chateau most of the time, but now and again .............

[hihosland]

.....the note would be slipped into the "dressed" side of the trouser and all the Maquis would know that tonight was the night with white rabbit for dinner served with aplomb and florish by Nancy as a last meal before.....

[Captain]

........ the upper side of the trouser became the dressed side.

 

"Don't be frightened" said Nancy "He's just pleased to see me, same like he gets when he sees a Carbon Cub, and that's about 30 seconds before he c...........

[turboplanner]

.................cries "NANCY!" and starts looking around for something more comfortable at the .................

[Captain]

...... top of her .......

[onetrack]

.....wardrobe. But Nancy walks in suddenly, and finds Turbo rummaging through the top of her wardrobe. Turbo is horrified - he's been sprung.

 

"So! - it IS true, what they said about the pink panty hose!", said Nancy. "But you won't find any there! What you may find is.......

[Captain]

....... pictures of Turbs & Planey in compromising locations, as Planey operated flights, somewhat equivalent to Jeff Epstien's Lolita Express, from The Oaks down to his private ......

[turboplanner]

.............hangar where he trained volunteers on rebuilding an old ........

[Captain]

.......... corvette, which have always been a questionable project, given that the .........

[turboplanner]

......Corvette doesn’t have any failed components and doesn’t wear out fast enough. OT agreed with this. “We should choose something like a Suzuki bike” he said, we’d have a new sample for every.....

[Captain]

Turbo is of course correct, dear NES readers, and the Captain apologises.

 

Below are a couple of examples of how wrong the skipper was.

 

Nothing to see here, move on, no resurrection work needed on any Vette.

 

TE CORPORATE POOL VEHICLE #6

 

TURBO JUST REACHED DOWN TO PICK UP HIS DROPPED 10 CENT PIECE AND FOUND THIS.

[turboplanner]

[Turbo doesn't normally respond to Corvette trolls because once his FingerPrint software eventually identifies the troller it is usually a cross dresser who drives a Volkswagen, but this on is straightforward.

 

The top photo is the current World Champion from the World Concourse D'Elegance held in Nice, France this February. It was sold at the Show for AUD $3 million plus.

The new owner, Damian, has Water Transfer Printed it, and while this might not be to everyone's taste, it's what the Millenials want to see these days. Let's face it when they buy a new pair of jeans they spend the first day curring the knees out.

 

Not many people know that the Back to the Future films were to be filmed using this Corvette in a deal where General Motors funded the film and the bow tie had to be featured every ten minutes. John Delorean ("Jack" to Turbo) had negotiated the deal, but fired General Motors a few days later and built the Delorean with he last expenses claim. He drove this car off a cliff near Santa Monica where it sat on the sea bed for fifty years. It's good to see it retrieved in such good condition.]

[Captain]

He drove this car off a cliff near Santa Monica where it sat on the sea bed for fifty years.

 

As all NESers would already know, this was done so that the car matched Turbo's own appearance.

[Captain]

......Corvette doesn’t have any failed components and doesn’t wear out fast enough. OT agreed with this. “We should choose something like a Suzuki bike” he said, we’d have a new sample for every.....

........... Victorihan Covid test, but would way outnumber the quantity of successful Mextoristan contact traces.

 

In the meantime, Salty stands strong in the virus free Remnark and Onesie is, in a virus free but Twiggy polluted WA, is still entering kissing competitions at B&S balls while holding his ................

[hihosland]

......"purloined from Trubo and in desperate need of a launder" pink panty hose balled up behind his back and hoping that any time soon ........

[Captain]

TURBS AT THE B&S FANCY DRESS BALL, IN HIS WELL

KNOWN GUISE AS THE PINK PANTYHOSE PURLOINER (THE PPP).

[Captain]

TURBO IN HIS OTHER NIPPLE-LESS GUISE (ON-LG).

[Captain]

PLEASE ALLOW TIME .......

 

Hundreds of NES followers have contacted me, disturbed about Turbo's apparent absence from Wreck Flying.

 

Please allow Turbs some time and be patient, as he is tied up at the moment chairing strategy sessions of the Daniel Andrews Re-election Committee.

 

So it may therefore be a while before Turds returns.

[hihosland]

... B&W balls so coloured as a result of trying on Turbo's discarded pink panty hose.

 

After extricating himself from the constricting pink stricture he, seeking a more appropriate sizing entered "tied up in pink panty hose" into Google images search engine.

Upon viewing the resulting flood of purience he ...........