The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.......hopefully where the horizon was, but .........

[onetrack]

....as it turned out, he was carrying a copy of "Biggles Down Under", which he found was far more useful and instructional than any CASA-mandated courses, and whipping out the book, and referring to the right passages, he soon righted the Airtruk (note the correct spelling, dear NES readers), pulled out of the spiral dive, levelled the wings, aligned the instrument panel with the horizon, and settled back to enjoy the view as the IO-520 loped along at cruise RPM.

 

But there was trouble in sight as a Thruster being piloted in an erratic manner appeared out of the sun to his left. The rego looked familiar and Onetrack was shocked to see that it was......

[turboplanner]

........flying without a pilot. "Guess who's been prop swinging again" he thought, Then realised someone was going to have to get this aircraft down safely.

One of the more unlikely NES readers put up his hand and ...............

[Captain]

...... scratched them, then took it out again, before ......

[Captain]

...... (his hand, that is) ......

[onetrack]

....he remembered the old Army saying, "never volunteer" - so he pulled it down again (his hand, that is), and Onetrack cast around for another willing risk-taker who would.....

[turboplanner]

.....possibly sacrifice himself for the good of the sport.

[turboplanner]

Just then it started to rain, soaking the .......................

[Captain]

.......... already moist .......

[turboplanner]

......Carbide that had been very unwisely placed in the open cockpit to light the way home from Natflys of the past. It hadn't mattered in the dry shed but now.............

[Captain]

............. after the little whoopsie in the dry shed in Beirut, fertilizer has been banned (Turbine Fertilizers are considering voluntary administration [if Turbo can skim the remaining cash]), except for .........

[turboplanner]

...........CatRat Plus, and environmentally-friendly fertiliser brought to you by TEGREEN INC. The product is made in a factory next to Turbo's Cat Farm, and the wayward Thruster was on a course to intercept the farm.

By now the wet carbide had not only lit the Thruster's spotlight, but the whole van was on fire.

Cappy stepped in to save his friend's facilities. "Get me a plane, 20 Kg of Catrat Plus, a detonator a coil of fuse wire and I'll fix it" he yelled, but had he miscalculated............

[Captain]

........ because the CatRat Plus had been diluted to 5% proof when TEGREEN, based in sunny and freedom-loving Mextoristan, found that they could make more ..............

[bull]

Cocaine with this, so it suddenly became very scarce in mexatoria. Hilo steered [with great difficulty due to the rudder hanging half off] towards the wayward thruster [thruster shouted turdo,is that a new porn movie?] and maneuvered until the rat was able to leap out and grasp the.............

[onetrack]

.... scarf trailing from the cockpit. But as he did so, the scarf tore free from the Thruster, leaving Cappy floating free as a.......

[Captain]

.... Rat with a gold tooth, in a Red Bull winged parachute suit thingy, jumping off Mt Macedon with a ......

 

RATTY, GOING FOR A FLY (AVREF) WITH TURBO & TURBETTE, WHERE BOTH ARE INVERTED (THE POSERS [AVREF])

Edited August 13, 2020 by Captain

[Captain]

EXPLANATION...... TURBO CLAIMS THAT TURBETTE IS HIS SISTER, BUT SHE IS ACTUALLY A LADY OF THE EVENING FROM DOWN LYGON ST WAY THAT HE IS TEACHING TO FLY WITH HER LEGS AKIMBO AS IN THAT PHOTO. SHE REMAINS RELUCTANT TO SPREAD THEM AND THE SAD THING IS THAT SHE IS PROBABLY SOMEONE ELSE'S SISTER.

 

MT MACEDON IS PRETTY TALL, EH?

[turboplanner]

........total of six minutes training. The photo shows him while he was still remembering the instructor's words.

Shortly after this he bent his knee and ..................................

[Captain]

..... entered into another PISD.

 

"Oh" he .......

[turboplanner]

....gasped in an effeminate tone (NTTIAWWT), and was in full PISD mode when the gin bottle slipped out of his back pocket.

This put his weight and balance back inside the envelope and he gracefully assumed the flight position.

 

Sergeant Doubtfire had taken the day off from the harrowing C-19 talks she had to deal with. It seemed like every second wanker in the population had a reason not to comply with health regulations and she was sore from punching and being punched.

 

She settled down on a quiet bend of the Murrumbidgee River, threw a line in and was just settling in to a book when she heard a loud "PLONK!!!!!!!"

Shortly after, the unmistakeable neck of a gin bottle broke the surface and she recognised the brand "Bombay Bang"

She knew the only person to drink this ghastly stuff around here was the Captain, but where was he? How did the bottle get here? She was about to ....................

[onetrack]

....stand up and carry out "further intensive enquiries", when her thought processes were interrupted by a slurring, wobbling Cappy suddenly appearing from behind a nearby tree (where he'd been "answering the call of Nature" - whatever it was, she called out), stumbling forward a few paces whilst muttering something unintelligible - then falling flat on his face onto Sgt Doubtfires fishing tackle and lunch Esky.

Sgt Doubtfire became enraged - here was a well-known local who was not only over the limit (for walking even, let alone driving) - and he was also disobeying social distancing regulations! Sgt Doubtfire pulled out her.......

[turboplanner]

.......357 Magnum and said "What are you doing here Punk?"

Cappy, who was of English extraction as we know (all Cooks are sent to Eton) didn't recognise the word Punk and made the near fatal mistake of saying "I'm not Punk, I'm Cook", and Doubtfire took a step back and the Magnum wavered. Could i be? Could it possibly be? No, it couldn't and she looked at him again then threw her arms around him.

They were .......................

[Captain]

........... then locked into a long & passionate embrace, as there lips met, their limbs intertwined and their mid-life overbite correction braces interlocked, like barbed wire in a ............

[turboplanner]

...........Mixmaster.

"My long lost brother" cried Doubtfire, and Cappy went into panic mode.; he.....

[Captain]

...... prevented his mind from advancing, stopped his hands, said that it was his phone that was pleased to see her, then thought about what would have happened if they had been in Tazzy, where bull is probably already ......