The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

aandd gaaaviin dont forget to bait that "rat"trap tonight the ratty was seen ..........

..... preeening in preparation for .....

[turboplanner]

......his night out at Blue Lake Lodge of Arthur, which by Tasmanian standards was a wild joint because they served beers instead of cups of tea.

Cappy drove his ................

[Captain]

Cappy drove his ..............

...... hardest bargain "I'm not paying £2.10 for a cup of tea, before bull ........

[Captain]

...... hardest bargain "I'm not paying £2.10 for a cup of tea, before bull ........

..... pointed out that The Skipper had misread Tinky's post and the BLLOA only serves beer. "What a dill" proferred bull.

 

"I'm not paying £3.60 for a drink" , said Ratty, before bull .......

[turboplanner]

.......could shrink back, which he always did when it was his time to pay.

The both looked out the window at Arthur who was quietly .......

[Captain]

........... and moodily lying there, with occasional whitecaps, for all the world looking like a deep Tasmanian ..............

[turboplanner]

.........river, ripples on the top and no bottom, but .................

[Captain]

.......... the mood was very sinister, as that river was identical to the one in Paul Kelly's song "Everything's turning to White".

 

bull had shivers, Brine was nervous, HiHo already had regrets, Planey thought the song didn't have enough avrefs (plus he thought that the song title was racist), yet Onesie was strangely .......

 

 

[turboplanner]

silent; he was a West Australian, and they were like frogmounts'sat there all day turning their heads from side to side, checking that no South Australians crossed the border.

"They're DISEASED!" said ...........

[Captain]

....... the bloke who is their Premier (you know, the bloke with the Twigster's hand up his back), but who nobody knows the name of east of Norseman.

 

"There is nothing whatsoever that is worthwhile east of Norseman" was onetrack's response, for he had been indoctrinated by the Labor taking points and had been a bolshy card carrier back in his early days anyway.

 

"I was a member of the Remnark CP" volunteered Salty.

 

"Seeing as we are all confessing our past sins, I used to come from Qld" said bull, feeling the weight lift from his shoulders after that confession.

 

Planey was next and said "......

[onetrack]

.....I voted Labor once!" - after which confession he looked like he'd just been told his death sentence had been revoked.

 

"I falsified my logbook once!", (avref) admitted Cappy, looking at the ground shamefully. "Just once?", cried Turbo. "We all know your logbook has been falsified more than a truckies logbook!"

 

"That's not true!", spluttered Cappy, "You know I only did it just the once, simply because......

[Captain]

......... I thought that the insurance would be cheaper once I passed 15,000 hrs .................. but I never meant any harm and there was nothing serious ............ oh, and then there was the 4 engine rating of course, the ASIO AAA+ rating, the CASA Inspector's qualification, my Doctorate as a Gynecologist ............ and the ...........

[turboplanner]

.........Hells Angels patches for which I had to eat a raw bull's heart without............

 

 

[We've just checked and as far as we can find out this does not refer to OUR bull's heart - MOD 5 "The Nice Mod"]

[Captain]

[We've just checked and as far as we can find out this does not refer to OUR bull's heart - MOD 5 "The Nice Mod"]

Yet we at Wreck Flying have consistently received complaints from breathless & tearful ladies of virtue all over the east coast, but primarily between Bone and Tazzy, that they have been used, abused, chewed up and spat out by a heartless flyboy, who went by the name of bull. - Moderator 12 - "The Caring Mod" who Eeeen designated to take care of them all.

[Captain]

DID ALL NER'ERS NOTICE THAT OUR BELOVED ONETRACK IS LEVELLING PEGGING WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF NERDS, ALL LOCKED ON THE MOST POINTS AT 113.

 

THAT'S A BIT ANAL, BUT NEVERTHLESS IMPRESSIVE, SINCE ONESIE WAS A BLOWIN JUST BACK IN 2015.

 

WHILE, IN THE MEANTIME, TURGID IS GETTING HIS (OR HER) CLOCK CLEANED IN THE CATEGORY OF MOST REACTION SCORES AND MOST POSTS. A PATHETIC EFFORT BY HIM (OR HER) (NTTIAWWT).

[turboplanner]

"....digressing on to my favourite subject XXXXXXXXXX or adding tomato sauce, whichever came first". Cappy then went on with a long confession of his life, from stories of fighting in the Punjab to Jabbing in the........ but they were interrupted by a well known whining and grinding sound and a SeaRey cut an arc across Arthur's back and hlided up to the jetty, thumping into it. At the controls was .................

[Captain]

At the controls was .................

....... a wizened (WFmemberref), miserable, scarred, crusty, cranky, Walter Brennan-like/Ma Kettle-like (NTTIAWWT), bitter, pock-marked, yet somehow still strangely attractive old pilot (avref) who was known locally around Arthur as .......

 

THE PILOTS 2016 ASIC CARD PHOTO

 

AND THEN THE 2020 ASIC ID PIC.

Edited August 19, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............qwerty. qwerty had been "away" for a few years after a flight which could be best be described as wayward, having started on a Wild Chicken farm strip, a beatup of Scottsdale, and with Tasmanian Police in their HQ Holdens in hot pursuit down the Tasman Highway, a beaching in the St Patrick's River near the Myrtle Park Camping & Recreational Ground.

When the Police waded out, qwerty explained that they's been there all day fishing but a tell-tale colourful smear started to appear heading downstream and the cop, after yanking his hand back and saying "XXXX!" triumphantly said "The engine's still hot" The judges didn't buy qwerty's explanantio0n that he'd been sitting on it to keep it warm for a take off and it all went downhill from there. Now here he was .................

[Captain]

......., the subject of (another) AUF and CASA Enquiry where the CASA QC started quite aggressively.

 

"I contend that you are called Quirky, not qwerty (nor any other form of keyboard), by all members of the AUF and of Wreck Flying". And he continued "And I further contend that it is very hard for anything to go down-hill when on the flat and serene water of the St Pat's River."

 

qwerty was feeling the pressure, but he remembered his old dad having said to him " .............

[Captain]

STOP PRESS - NES CONTRIBUTORS RUN MILES FROM AUF & CASA ENQUIRY. THEY MUST ALL HAVE LOTS TO HIDE.

[turboplanner]

STOP PRESS 2 - In fact, when the Judge said "The Prisoner in the dock will now rise", 42 people in the gallery stood up.

[Captain]

And bolted for their aircraft (avref).

[bull]

And a mass takeoff [avref] was witnessed with the casa inspector running after the screaming rotaxes, These bloody NES members are gunna be totally flucked when they land . He was screaming blue murder to all and sundry and going really red in the face. over in the distance could just be seen Cappy and turdo trying to swing the prop in the Savannah to escape after turdo flattened the battery watching porn online all night, Bloody hell screamed Cappy , whats this white stuf all over the seats ?

[Captain]

Turbo blushed and said that it was a "snail trail", which was his standard response to his mum when he returned her car after Saturday night at the Packenham Metro Drive-In.

 

This caused many NESers and the occasional other reader (like the geriatric Gerry Hattrick) to smile that knowing "post Drive-In" smile, and reflect on ........

[turboplanner]

........the horse and buggy days when all you needed was a blanket and a quicke check to ,make sure the horse hadn't moved forward; the ground was the place to be in those days, even if you.......