The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

...... referred to that blanket as a "struggle rug".

 

But the ground (avref) was .......

[bull]

Never as good as the flucktruck [hq panelvan] or the finger wagon [ford escort panelvan ] brings back memories of the Bone drivein said bull,why we used to.........

[turboplanner]

.....and bull went on for twenty minutes about conquest after conquest, but Turbo knew that bull was only 11 at the time and would sneak under the Drive In fence and watch his older brother.....................

[Captain]

SAD ANNOUNCEMENT -The relative recent silence of the NES over past days has been explained this morning by the revelations in The Australian that several NESers are involved in the Chinese Thousand Talents Program, with Salty from Remnark U, onetrack (real name Wun Tlack from the University of Southern Cross) and bull (Mai Le Kow) from UTazz being named.

 

It turns out that all have been stealing jokes & puns from the NES and being paid to publish them on Leck Frying, which is run by some bloke named Eee Aaan based in Wuhan.

 

Turbo (leal name Turd Boy) is also imprecated.

[turboplanner]

Turbo wishes to reassure the thousands of upset fans of the NES who have been phoning all XXXXXXX night that is is not imprecated in this oriental people-bending operation called Chinese Thousand Talents Program. A lilttle digging quickly showed it was another sock puppeteering exercise by a well known serial pest of Chinese extraction, i.e. he was stuck at birth and had to be extracted. Salty, OT, and b knew nothing of the posts in their name, or of the multi-identities which have infiltrated WF over the past few months with a matching set on Date which currently are arguing amongst their invented selves.

However, he can advise that he has found records indicating Cappy is funding the SP.

[bull]

Hey shouted Bull ,what the fluck are saying there Ratty , you where the one to introduce us all to your oriental extraction process! So do you mean you got it................

[turboplanner]

....from eating bats, or did you just pick it up in a flea market at the.......

[Captain]

..... turn of the century.

 

Cappy, who is just 34 and in his prime, was shocked at the way all of his so-called mates had sold out & exported their jokes to the Chinese CP.

 

"No wonder the NES has been suffering from a lack of quality humour lately, when these blokes have a Wuhan stipend and have licenced their thousands of jokes to Eee Aaan and the comos at Lech Frying" said The Skipper sadly.

 

But at least, thank goodness for ......

[turboplanner]

........Nobushi, who has taught me Japanese, because ........

[Captain]

............ without that, they would all rook the same.

 

"Same make tractors" said bull, trying to ingratiate himself again with an unsold Aussie pun.

 

"Yes-a" commented Brine (on his laptop from the the bar of the Remnark Italian Club), chucking in a bit of Italian humor, and thereby giving up a Yuan 1,500 payment for that. "Eeet not so funneee anylay" commented Eeee Aaaan from Wuhan, on TikTok "So I save fifteen hundled for that clappy joke."

 

Turbo, who had his new persona as "TinkyTonk-on-TikkyTok" (Xi & the CPP ruv that type of cleverness) wondered whether to sacrifice his next witty tome (WT) as a contribution to the NES or to offer it to the Chinese People's Daily (the CPD) where he could ................

 

 

A RANDOM SAME - NOTE THE CCP COMPLIANT RED.

 

Edited August 24, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....make a Yuan or two and win a post on the staff with his new friend Helen on the staff of the Chinese Embassy in Canberra.

Helen had thought Turbo would be a pushover but quickly found out he was listed as a preferred tea maker at the Russian Embassy and his sights were set on RedCap as Cappy was known to the KGB who ......

[Captain]

......... thought they could "turn" him by way of a gay honey-trap.

 

"Turbo and the Skeeper have been friends for years, so they must be AC/DC or worse" said Ivan in his reportski to Vladimir "As they might be putin it where they shouldn't" he continued (putinjokeref).

 

"There's nothing wrong with being keen on AC/DC (NTTIAWWT) or Black Sabath (which is worse)" replied HIHOski using a stolen .............

 

A RARE PHOTO OF HIHOSKI WHEN SOBER, IMPERSONATING WINSTON,

BUT WITHOUT A CIGAR, WHICH HE HAD GIFTED TO BILL CLINTON.

Edited August 24, 2020 by Captain

[bull]

indulge in his greatest fantasy,As the sound of the large tractor approached it became known to all as a bloke was live streaming it,,,,,,,My god screamed .......................

[onetrack]

.....Onetrack - "The NES has sunk so low (AVREF), these pathetic contributors are actually talking about, and showing pictures of - tractors! - instead of aircraft! It has become obvious the Giant Jedi Rat is a plant for the CCP, as part of the Thousand Talents programme - which programme is now concentrating on steadily and insidiously subverting a band of happy aviation enthusiasts, into lovers of RED CHINESE TRACTORS!"

 

"While there are some aircraft that have been considered to be little better than "tractors of the sky", this is no reason to pervasively subvert the Wreck Fly-in site into a TRACTOR forum!!", Onetrack moaned.

 

"I actually came here to get a break from talking tractors on other forums! Now the Giant Jedi Rat has fallen under the influence of a huge Red Chinese Tractor, and forgotten all about his aviation (AVREF) roots!"

 

"I think I know what we can do with The Rat, to break him out of his slow descent into Chinese-speak and his growing love for Red Chinese Tractors", said Hi-Ho. "It won't be a pretty sight, but these types of subversion manias need some savage treatment, and we'll have to start with.....

[turboplanner]

.......the sock puppet treatment and invent half a dozen "characters" to pick on him while conducting conversations and arguments with each other.

However, once again the WA disease known as "lagging behind the wised men from the east" had hit OT. Turbo came to the defence of his long time friend Cappy and said "You're wearing a Chinese T shirt OneTrack, you eat Chinese bacon every morning which is laced with an anti-cognisance serum, you write on a Chinese computer, under Chinese lights, yet you condemn our loyal friend Cappy. " Pulling out a dog eared old copy of a ship he continued "Cappy has not drifted off avrefs; not many people know the Same tractor can be harrowing on a Friday and flying the family to the Birdsville races on a Saturday. It, in fact, has better flying performance than a Drifter."

 

OneTrack snorted in derision but Turbo continued "TE licensed Cappy to make some minor modifications (avref) to the tractor which enable it to create lift with it's giant rotor wheels, using the rotor principle invented by Leonardo Da Vinci. When the wheels reach a certain speed, according to Bernouli II (Ben was a friend of Da) a high pressure zone is produced under the rotor and that pressure is taken from the top which leaves a low pressure area and we all know that high travels to low, or at least we at TE do because we sold Cappy the license to use on the Same.

 

Once again One Track felt the cold afternoon Doctor around his ankles and said .............

[Captain]

...... "If I can feel the Doctor down there, then my pants must have fallen down".

 

"Pulled down by some obsessed Poly, in the name of Covid, more likely" said ........

[turboplanner]

......the magnate Isaac who had abandoned his former friends and was on board his Motor Cruiser headed for Tahiti intending .........

[onetrack]

....to find one of these mystical Flying Same Tractors, which had been reported by the local highly superstitious natives. "I'm convinced I saw a Flying Same Tractor!", said one Heremoana, when he was interviewed by a local news crew.

"You couldn't have!", stated the cameraman loudly, "That kind of thing only happens in Victoria! - well-known now, as the land of the Flying Pigs, and the State of Lockdown, where everyone is treated like a Barwon Prison inmate!"

 

Meantimes, Cappy was still hanging around and leaning on the letterbox, anxiously waiting for the postie to deliver his latest copy of "World Famous Tractors produced by Chairman Jinping", to add to his huge collection of "Tractors of Chairman Mao" magazines.

 

It was a little-known fact that Cappy was a secret admirer of Chairman Dan, and was hoping there would soon be a magazine issue headed, "Famous Victorian Tractors produced under Chairman Dan". Unfortunately for Cappy, living in the State of Largely Chinese-owned Housing and Property, he was totally unaware that Victorian Tractor production had ceased long ago, when the International Harvester tractor factories in Geelong and Port Melbourne shut down in 1986.

 

However, thanks to living in the State of Time Warp and Permanent Corruption, Cappy was totally unaware of what was happening in the rest of Australia, let alone the rest of the World. In fact, he was convinced the Vietnam War was still running, and no-one could convince him otherwise. Then came the day......

[turboplanner]

.....when a Vietnamese saw him leaning on the letterbox, came to a stop and stepped out of his Chevrolet Silverado and said "Hey!" [Translation for the oldies: not as "Stop or I'll shoot" but the New York Greeting] "Do you want to sell? I can give you cash right now".

Cappy drew himself up to his full height, which didnd't take long and .................

[Captain]

...... said "It's a Chevy mate, so you can have it, plus I'll chuck in a couple of tractor mags."

 

The Skipper noted onetrack's fixation with tractor photos and recalled his own experience with them. "The rich kids had Playboy magazines, but I had to use 2nd hand Tractor mags to learn how to do it, so I understand Onesie's fixation, even at his advanced age."

 

"And don't forget about me" said Turbo who used the "My Little Corvette" storybook as his Playboy equivalent, (Salty used, and still does use, "Citrus Growing in the Riverland") and even now, when they see those magazines, they can't ......

 

TURDY GOES ALL GOOEY (OR WORSE) WHEN HE SINGS THIS.

Edited August 25, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

....get over the fact that Cappy formerly used firearms magazines to reach orgasm. "It's a 'Boys-From-the-Bush' thing", nodded Turbo sagely, "You have to think about how little they have to entertain and educate themselves, in those backwoods places like Wagga and Kapooka. You know, they think that pocket billiards is a National sport in those regions, and you ought to see what they........

[Captain]

........... do when Mavis yells "Black ball in the corner pocket" during the fun part of each of the Downside B&S Balls.

 

The Downside Hall is located beside the Federation Training Area, so each time a pilot (avref) heads out to do some ............

[turboplanner]

...........routine things like loops and wingovers and sh!t, he will always do a dry run over the DH before ..............

[Captain]

..... the wet run, which always follows the ......

[bull]

...slightly clingy run of effluent ,to rinse off the...............