The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

............ stain that is the .........

[turboplanner]

.......Downside Hall floor. Plenty of people have commented about the stains on the DH floor, with stories that it was used as a field hospital for returniong WW1 and WW1 soliders, but not many people know, that the hall is used every year at duck opening to divide up the shoot and by the time all the stubbies have been down and the ducks collected, no one is in the mood to clean the hall, so it stays like that until the "Miss Kapooka" judging, when a frantic working bee takes place to get the smell and feathers out and most of the blood washed off and then it starts .......

[onetrack]

....to again look like something that women would want to frequent. However, the women that turn up to frequent the Downside Hall, are not your usual breed of women. They belong to that curious group known as......

[Captain]

........ "hermaphrodite", which is the plural of a generic old Greek word, invented by Homer (NTTIAWWT) (notSimpsonref), which refers to Downside Hall attendees, Duff beer (notanuptheduffref), and ...........

Edited August 26, 2020 by Captain

[bull]

...slightly weird practice of...............

[Captain]

...slightly weird practice of...............

......... sister .........

[bull]

Love ,something they brought over from Tazzie after the great northern migration of 62 during the run away from ..............

[Captain]

..... a CASA (avref) raid on the unregistered LAMEs (avref) that were operating in a shed out the back of runway 27 right at Stanley International Airport (avref).

 

Turbo remembers the Great Northern Migration of 1862 really well, as he fought as a member of Batman's Raiders in the battle of King Island, where the southern forces were repelled with great losses on both sides.

 

The Australian Civil War (ACW) had been suppressed by the press at the time and is still not taught in schools, as it was overshadowed by the American Civil War, which went by the same initials and was fought to free the slaves, whereas the Aussie CW was fought to free the sisters from their oppressed lives submitting to their brothers, cutting opium poppies, picking lavender and harvesting Maccas potatoes in Tassy.

 

Turbo's experience has haunted him since those times and ever since he has been unable to touch anyone else's sister for more then .............

[bull]

the occasional peck behind the......................

[bull]

hanger [avref] now turdo,s peck is not your normal peck either and the things that he did where..................

[turboplanner]

......possible taking into account the direction of the wind off Bass Strait, and the direction of.......................

[Captain]

......... Lieutenant Andrews, who was the power hungry, ex-union secretarial, megalomaniacal adjutant of Batman's Raiders (even Johnny B thought that he was over the top (avref)) , and who, by complete coincidence, was the grandfather of Kim Jong Dan and was also tyrannical about .............

[turboplanner]

...........people who took to sea without copious amounts of broth and chittles, and instruments of discipline. His ships were the pride of the Tasmanian Navy; spick and span, and receiving a deep clean every day. The whole crew wore masks. This wasn't to protect against infection, but to avoid being singled out by the Lieutenant for a vicious whipping for the slightes offence, such as not getting the sails up fast enough or not knowing the difference between True North and Magnetic North. The night Lt Andrews sailed into Flinders Isand was a good case in point. The bow was stuck in Flinders Island and the stern was .......

[Captain]

......... still just off Bridport (she was a bigun .... as the Tassy boatbuilders got the scale wrong on the drawing that the Yanks had sent over [in Tassy they still work on rods and chains when it should have been in feet]).

 

The ship was a copy of the American CW Ironclad named the SS Virginia (the Tassy Admiralty called their ship "Virgin" as a Tasmanian in-joke, because nobody down there had ever seen one [except Turbo]). However the Tassy Confederacy could not afford iron (as the Savage River mine hadn't been discovered at that time), so the ship was covered in Greenie platitudes composed by Bob Brown (who has been around as long as Turbo has).

 

The most well known platitude was "..........

Edited August 27, 2020 by Captain

[bull]

the look on King jon Dan premier of Prictoria face as the real king of the big island put out a law that would wrest the commie control of Prictoria away from him..my god screamed Hilo, Commie Dan,s jaw hit the ground harder than a dambusters [avref] big boy bomb [avref] hit the turpitz[ navref]Commie Dan could be heard muttering under his breath ,flarrk how me pay back big china now shi shit he said , i,ll have to join the witness protection act after i get kicked out of prictoria,,,,,,No fluccing way a voice in the distance could be heard saying,,i,ll make sure they know where you..............

[Captain]

...... have your head, now that it is out of your .....

[bull]

rear orifice , "" POOO "" ,,,,, WHAT,S that smell screamed turdo after seeing the apparition call poodundan [witness protections new identity given to King Jon Dan] emerge from the septic tank where he had been hiding from...............

[Captain]

...... the dire consequences of the AUF's (eventualavref) tightening of their .......

[turboplanner]

.........regulations to the point where a householder who engaged in recreational flying had to sell his car, his giant smart TV/Coffee machine, his beer fridge his wifes Gucchi range and every brick in the house to the point where the familiy had to live in the septic tank. For many people this was no different to what'they'd been doing but for poodundan this represented a humiliating situation. They'd shortened the rear legs of the chains and bought some 1960s TV trays, and Dan's wife looked across and said "It's not so bad!" but Dan just curled his lip.

He'd tied down the gleaming new Jabiru J230, which is what all Thruster pilots pretend they are flying, to the septic tank; if a storm came and the aircraft was blown away, they were going with it. Dan was quite clever that way; he'd done the same thing with Victoria, so Victorians would never be in the same position at the Tasmanians and have to refer to people from the other States as Mainlanders, or start double headed tourist promotions so mainlanders would come and visit just in case they came across one and could use the phone to ...............

[bull]

report strange banjo noises coming out of the Forrest,now Poodundan was seen to be ...............

[Captain]

......... speaking with the Chinese deputy ambassador dude who addressed the National Press Club last week.

 

"As part of the honourable Belts, Braces, Taxiways & Runways Program, can the great provincial govt of Wutoria please have 200 of those Rotax (avref) copies that are being built by Zhongshen thru the great spirit of cooperation between the great peoples of Austria and China (except that the Austrians aren't aware yet), and I'll start a Recreational Aviation led recovery, centered around Tyabb and Moorabbin. Free AUF licences for all. PS .... can I get a sling for promoting them in the NES? (unionkickbackref)" said Dan in Nth Korean (he had forgotten which como dictatorship he was beholden to).

 

The Como Chinese 2nd string ambassador dude thought about what he had said in public last week and ..................

 

ZONGSHEN'S OWN UNIQUE DESIGN OF AN AERO (AVREF) ENGINE.

ALL DESIGNED UNIQUELY IN CHINA FROM 1ST PRINCIPALS.

"WE NO COPY" SAID THE 2ND STRING AMBASSADOR DUDE.

Edited August 29, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

...then felt obliged to add ... "When our truly original Chinese light aircraft engines from Banana province, ChongChing, are available in large numbers for low prices, you will see a revolution in the recreational flying industry in Ostlalia, and it will be wholly and solely thanks to our BRI initiative, plus the superhuman efforts of Chairman Jinping and Chairman Dan of Chingtoria, who has now been elevated to a position in the CCP, that is only.......

[Captain]

...... a nat's nut away from the final ........

[turboplanner]

.....strategy when our Hornorable late Chairman Mao killed all the birds in China , so aircraft would no be subject to bird strikes. He was clever man, but resulting insect plagues resulted in windscreens covered in bugs.

We have come a long way since then and this belt and road partnership with Chairman Don from Austria to make recerational engines for $500.00 fulfills the belt part.

Now we look at the road, and as late Chairman Mao also said "Journey down road 1000 miles long starts with first step"

Mao at times was silly man, and we builts cars instead of wearing shoe leather, but that another story.

And so the great road of Australia hit the drawing boards, but went straight through because Scotty from Marketing had stepped in and sold all of Victoria's roads to the Indians.

As he explained "we did that because 99% of truck trivers on temporary visas come from India and every second trucks stop is owned by Indians and that Modra chap makes great Japaddys, so out next step will be...............

[Captain]

..... to contract out all ASIO, Federal Policing, commercial pilot licencing, AUF admin, hotel security, ladies of the night & STD testing to the Indian mob who run Telsta's call centres."After all, what could possibly go wrong" a spokesperson said.

 

But Salty saw a flaw, as Remnark council had tried this with their Library, child minding, Kindy & meals-on-wheels services & it had been a complete cluster ..... ......