ahlocks Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 "The 230's sixty?" puzzled McLoch "What ever could TurboSan mean?" :confused: The sixty degree offset for the straffing run? :devil: Sixty extra turns of the Rotaryaxe's lacky band? The lead time that will be required to beat the bugga into Yarrawonga? ... =============== Random drug and alchohol testing? "I'd like to try the red and some of that crystaline powder thanks"...
turboplanner Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Turbo said "I'll make it simple for you lovaksky - 60 miles to the rear and screaming like a blowfly! "Although, since you are going to be outnumbered like a Hell's Angel at a Bandido's barbeque, I should be more kind." From the sidelines LittleThong, who was the result of a liaison between BigThing and an under-age Riverland Lass (when she was a nice girl. Big Thong had left town after the kid had been born and the story was undeniable, not because of the scandal, but because the kid was so ugly) yelled: "Don't worry Aklovak you'd at least get a few dollars at the aluminium recycling centre if you pranged it, but LeCrappe will be prosecuted for dropping litter of the Jab falls out of the sky because it could harm dolphins." Turbo didn't thank that would be enough support so he decided to go to the top end on town. He knocked on the door of the Forst Class Lounge. "P*ss Off!" came the response, and he wondered if this meant they were "purchasing each other on top of a hill" as JohnM had accused in a recent post, or had been secluded for the moment, or had sunk into the "plush seats" gorging on "free drinks" or even biting the "Nibbly's" one by one. There was silence and he realised it was all a front - they were in there reading Clear Prop catalogues. "What do you want?" yelled a clearly nervous voice which sounded like Admin. "AkLovak's going into enemy territory and I need to tell him something good about his aircraft" said Turbo "I've been searching the Web for hours and all I've got is sand rash and Jabiru success stories" "Are you a Gold Member?" - the voice was lower in tone and had a furtive note to it. Turbo knew there was no sense in giving a BS answer becaise admin would have been tracking his every moves for six months so he said "No" "Well, join up, and come up to Natfly and one of the Golden boys will give you hot cross buns etc" said Admin. Don't you like it the way Big Business always squashed the little man? Admin tells us to come up to Narromine for free hot cross buns, knowing we could walk done to the local hot bread shop and save $300, so he adds the "etc." rider. Now this could be a free ride an an FA18, a trip to Disneyland, a lookatbutdon'ttouchtheGazelle, or even, five minutes with, as Orion, who is Gender Aware, has suggested, the dancing boys. So he went back to Aklovals and said "I know you'll be outnumbered by Jaberwockys, but if you go you'll geta cupo of coffee etc. And so Avlovak determinedly started changing the oil in his Ro....
Captain Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 McLocks might have been cocking his gun too ..... in my Aunt's garden ..... in readyness for his J hunting trip on Saturday EXPLANATION - The Crapper had a totally whitty and erudite 3 or 4 paras prepared in this post #1325 and the dill pushed edit instead of quote and deleted the lot. What a mug (aviation term). And his creative juices had all be squeezed out so he couldn't do it again. Bet you are all giving thanks, eh? But where is BigPete who was "Back with a Vengeance" which turned out to be "back with a Ve" (2/3 of an aviation term).
turboplanner Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 He's never been the same since Admin hid the emoticons. To him it was like someone cutting out your tongue, and he had such a nice turn of phrase when he was in the mood.
Admin Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 He's never been the same since Admin hid the emoticons. Sorry to interrupt you guys playing in the garden with Nanna but I never hid the smilies - is there a problem I am unaware off?
Captain Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Sorry to interrupt you guys playing in the garden with Nanna but I never hid the smilies - is there a problem I am unaware off? Don't worry Ian. Tubb does the same thing to emoticons that he does to outboards + he may not have been peddling fast enough at the time that he wanted to use them. Humor him, like the rest of the NES'ers have secretly agreed to do. Regards Geoff
turboplanner Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 This is what the kids used to do with me in school - take my lunch and then pass it to each other a nanosecond before I could reach it. How do I find one? (simple steps please, I'm just a learner)
Captain Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 How do I find one? (simple steps please, I'm just a learner) What? A lunch or an emoticon? Maybe just use one of these ;):black_eye::raise_eyebrow::clown::pig:? Go down to the section below your post headed Miscellaneous Options. Do you perhaps have box 4 ticked and you are disabling them?
turboplanner Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Well I went down to "Smilies are on", then "Pingbacks are on" (I'll bet they can bite!), quickly bypassed "Forum Rules", found "The best genie story, and the time), but no Miscellaneous Options and no box 4. The First Class Loungers wouldn't have pinched them would they?
slartibartfast Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Slarti thought that this might be a good time to find a way to offer technical support to a fictional character in a virtual environment via a third person perspective and a second rate attitude. "It's a PEBKAC issue Tubby", he opined pointedly, having always wanted to be that rude while giving technical support to the technically challenged. "You must be using 'Quick Reply' instead of 'Reply' fool", he continued, warming to the opportunity. "Click on 'Go Advanced' or use 'Reply' in the first place". "Failing that, find the box your computer came in, pack it up, take it back to the shop where you bought it, and tell them you're too stupid to own a computer". That should do it slarti thought. He'll never again be asked to help with anything. Or invited to parties, except perhaps in Shun City. "I wonder what the CTAF frequency for Shun City is?" he thought to himself. "I bet they don't have ATIS." So, off went slarti into the self-imposed (and recently reinforced) hermitdom from which he slunk. The last thing he was heard to mutter as he re-entered the Cheetah cave was, "I hope there's some feature like a 1,200 foot hexagonal spire like that one in Wyoming they used for Close Encounters of the Third Kind so I can navigate there VFR, otherwise I'm stuffed".
turboplanner Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 :star::yuk::yin_yan::yin_yan::yin_yan::faint:thumb_down:thumb_up: :star::star::star: :star: :star::star::star: :star: :star::star::star:
turboplanner Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Starti had outed himself, and contributed to NES again, letting off a precisely directed spray in the process, and now we know what it takes to get him out of his shell. He did arrive at the Close Encounter tower after getting navigation advice from Big$ and borrrowing his compass, and landing very carefully. He walked up to the door (which had First Class Lounge) written on it overlaid by another sign which said Ponces Only) and knocked on the door. There was silence for a moment, then the door opened just a crack and a withered, hairless, little hand poked out....
Captain Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 There was silence for a moment, then the door opened just a crack and a withered, hairless, little hand poked out.... It was the TunnellMouse, who was back with a v......................
turboplanner Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 It was the TunnellMouse, who was back with a v...................... very bad cold. "Here Pussy, Pussy" called Slarti, looking over the shoulder of TunnellMouse and beckoning. It was not clear what he meant that day or what he was trying to achieve, but if it was to get the door open and TunnellMouse out of the tower, he'd pressed the right button, because there was a scream, and a blurred image shot out knocking Slarti over. He felt the trickle of blood, reached up, and found his throat had been cut from ear to ear, for TunnelMouse had been trained to kill and came from Echuca....
Captain Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 and a blurred image shot out knocking Slarti over. He felt the trickle of blood, reached up, and found his throat had been cut from ear to ear, for TunnelMouse had been trained to kill and came from Echuca.... "Hang on" said the ButtCrack. 'That's not blood, that's some of Geoff's Mildura finest Republical Reserve Good Drop heavy but smooth Dark Red, and it tastes pretty good too. But what's this? I see that P*ssPotPete has it in a 3 litre Camelback under his shirt, so he's not a trained killer, he's a trained squirter and a ..............
Captain Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 "Here Pussy, Pussy" called Slarti, "What do you want, Big Boy" said Nanna "And are you aware that you are here, all defenceless and alone in the NES, where me and my daughter could take advantage of you and nobody could hear you scream ........... "do it again"?" "Don't forget me" said the Riverland Lass "As with Bingles off-limits I wouldn't mind spending some time with a spunk who owns a Cheetah and hasn't bent it for a while. Le Crepe called yours a big Pussy because of the graphics, so have a gander at this and tell me what you think" she added. "Oh myyyyyyy" said SlartiHotPants 'I want my ...................
turboplanner Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Breaking News.... Fellow NESSERS (including those in the First Class Lounge) condemned to forever clean up our act, just take a look at what Admin, yes THAT Admin has sneakingly posted under the disguise of NEWS!
Captain Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Breaking News.... Fellow NESSERS (including those in the First Class Lounge) condemned to forever clean up our act, just take a look at what Admin, yes THAT Admin has sneakingly posted under the disguise of NEWS! Where ..... what ...... can't find it. Quick. Can you give us a link? Or are you referring to the Thread about the Virgin pulling 5 Boeings? (numerous aviation terms) (out in the garden?)
hihosland Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 "Boeing pulling 5 Virgins" THAT could get the censorial juices flowing
hihosland Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Admin whilst quoting costs did post "fewer virgins on busy routes" Poor Nana being somewhat confused by this Virgin word did run the whole post through the Bill Gates spell checker in search of elucidation. When she observed that only corrected word was "routes" she cried "of course if they're busy at that caper there'll far fewer virgins. 'tis only natural. And while we are having a good look at what the Admin fellow posts under the guise of news I see he is promoting a film that will dispel myths about pilots and flying. That'll keep the multiplexes (non aviation term but sneeky word-of-the-day in THE AGE this am) choocka. The first myth that could do with a good dispelling is ............
turboplanner Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 The first myth that could do with a good dispelling is ............ People who fly Cheetahs......... (words fail me)
turboplanner Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 The first myth that could do with a good dispelling is ............ "People who fly Cheetahs are pussies" The second is.....
ahlocks Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Hang on a sec TurboSan...(type your reply slowly please. I'm a bit distracted at the moment by the thought of all those dis-routed Virgins) So by dispelling a myth that "Cheetah flyers are pussies", are you specifing that cheetah flyers actually are pussies and as such, it's not a myth? Or that cheetahs make better farm implements and it's myth that people fly them?
turboplanner Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Ah Lovak, you've managed to drop me in it either way, and Bingles was lurking when I posted it. Firstly let me say that the world would be a different place if Harry Ferguson and Slarti had met. Secondly, your juggling act with the King's English reminds me of a story: John invited his mum over for dinner. During the meal his mother couldn’t help noticing how handsome John’s room mate was. She had long suspected John’s sexuality and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two men interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and his room mate than met the eye. Reading his mother’s thoughts John volunteered “I know what you must be thinking, but let me assure you, Thomas and I are just room mates.” About a week later Thomas came to John and said “Ever since your mother came to dinner I have been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it do you?” John replied “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.” So John sat down and wrote: Dear Mother, Since you were here last we have not been able to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. Now I’m not saying you did take the ladle from our place and I’m not saying you didn’t but the fact remains that it has been missing since you were here for dinner. Several days later John received a reply from his mother which read: Dear Son, I am not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Thomas and I am not saying you ‘do not’, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mum.
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