The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

......uncover his recent activities with the Fire truck where he    

<SUPPRESSED, CIA.>

which resulted in Turbo having to rush up during the night in the Corvette, risking the radar diverter several times, assess the truck, rush back, get a parts guy to come and unlock the distribution centre and return with the parts in the baggage compartment which made the Corvette squat like a kangaroo dog having a crap. We had to disassemble half the Fire truck to get at the

<suppressed, final warning, CIA>

wouldn't know it from any other Fire Truck in the fleet.

 

So Loxy was more than a little nervous as he walked down Bayliss St to Scribbles Cafe to give his weekly report to Cappy uner cover of the truckies telling their stories.

 

What he had to say this week would blow .................

[Captain]

.......... NAME SUPPRESSED (ASIO) ..... who was also a ........

 

PS Ahlox had been warned numerous times that he shouldn't still be doing that (at least, not in public) to that Corvette owner (Name Suppressed) COCA.

Edited October 7, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........nightman at Gumly Gumly, and had seen.................

[Captain]

..... it all, most of which would go to the grave with him unless he gets a good cash offer from Women's Weekly (now owned by Turbine Publishing), or PlayPerson the new non gender men's & womans magazine, where Hugh Turbine and his smoking jacket are up at his Moorabbin Mansion with his fingers in many ........

[turboplanner]

......pineapples. There was also the matter of the sudden disappearance of the Sportzczar some years ago. People said it was..........

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

There was also the matter of the sudden disappearance of the Sportzczar some years ago. People said it was..........

........ that Ahlow, who could always be bought for a good price and who would do things for money that most NESers can only imagine (many being physical in nature [some even unnatural], very very depraved & erky perky), in this case selling the Sportczara to Tooheys for a good price when they ran short of aluminium for their .................

Edited October 8, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...............Beercans.

Not many peolple know that this nearly sent Tooheys broke, because the aluminium was of such low quality that most of the cans burst while they were still in the refrigerator, so Tooheys lost the Man Cave and Female markets. The other problem was that when young men were taking out the crush that might be their future wife and he was so ovecome that he decided to stop the car and offer her a tinny, quite often instead of FFFFFFFFSSSSSSST, there would be FFFFFFFFSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and the girl would ask to be taken home, so they lost the singles market.

As the marketung Manager put it "We're left with old men who would have spilled half their beer anyway and don't see it as a problem."

Ahlox offered to pick their locks for them for life, but they had to rebrand and it cost them a bundle.

The reason Loxie doesn't want to come on the NES and talk about it is just after he got over the PTSD associated with the roast he got frlom Tooheys there was an unfortunate fire after a Czar force landed at Wagga Waagga International Airport and Loxie ignored the policy to let it burn and charged through the gates, screeched to a halt in front of the downed Czar, and for once turned on the tap marked "ON"

The powerful Mercedes Benz engine kicked up on the governor without any droop,  and he hit the Czar with a big cloud of water.

 

Three seconds later he turned the nozzle off, and there on the wet bitumen was a little man in a sagging pair of jocks with an Ipad in his hand.  Loxie never ...............

[onetrack]

....knew that (ASIO SUPPRESSED) was a (ASI SUPPRESSED) for (ASD SUPPRESSED), and he was operating under the direct authority of (DIO SUPPRESSED), who in their issued powers of (ASIS SUPPRESSED) control of (ONA SUPPRESSED), it was well within his powers to be able to (ACSC SUPPRESSED), and also to (DGS SUPPRESSED), because there were numerous people who wished to (NICC SUPPRESSED), and Loxie was absolutely stunned, when he realised that this gent was (CASA SUPPRESSED) and.....

 

(DEAR NES READERS - YOU MAY BE SURPRISED TO SEE THE AMOUNT OF SUPPRESSION IN THE ABOVE PARAGRAPH. PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THERE IS NOTHING TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT IN THIS LEVEL OF SUPPRESSION, BECAUSE MANY CONTRIBUTORS TO THE NES NEED TO BE SUPPRESSED, AND BE ASSURED THAT ALL 43 SECURITY AGENCIES IN CHARGE OF AUSTRALIANS SECURITY ARE ALL VERY PROACTIVE AND HAVE YOUR SECURITY AND SUPPRESSION UPPERMOST IN THEIR MINDS AT ALL TIMES, PARTICULARLY IF YOU STEP OUT OF LINE.....)

Edited October 8, 2020 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

........ before the redactions (which look very much like the typical FoI results that Turbo gets every couple of months, are cleaned with "FoI Creaner" from the Gung Ho company the fillers show up as  Captain XXXX Hire Salty Inc Credit the Gumly Gumly RSL Budget XXXX on them put the squeeze on them do the same Planey with a black Covid mask, trail Bike Helmet, ear muffs and .......

Edited October 8, 2020 by turboplanner

[Captain]

............ (5 PARAGRAPHS SUPPRESSED OR REDACTED BY XXXXX (NAME SUPPRESSED)) ................

[Captain]

............. (THESE ORGANIZATIONS DOING THE SUPPRESSING ARE A BUNCH OF XXXXX (TERM SUPPRESSED BY THOSE SAME XXXXX)) .................

Edited October 8, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........[18 pages redacted for talking about us: CASA ps we always tune in to the NES, you guys RULE!] and the old NES started to roll on the swell of redaction.

Not much had been heard from Hi ho recently since he put the ladder against the branch of a big Redgum in the garden.

He climbed the seven metres, but got a phone call before he started the chainsaw and..........

[Captain]

......... flipped open his 1980's Motorola then said ...............

 

 

HEIDI'S LATEST FLIPPY

Edited October 9, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......................Ooooooh Sh!t as the ladder followed the branch down. Now we know the story, so we knew that was going to happen, but the CEO of the Yarram Golf Club, Skye Belcher mistook Hihos's loud yell as accusatory and mysongenist. She had started out in a bad mood because she had to chase up all the Dues defaults, and now she was seething; Mr Ho, I'll have yo............

[Captain]

........... u know that I'm chasing up "Dues", ........ this is not another holocaust  and I am not anti-semitic."

 

But that didn't stop HiHo, who is an all-out good bloke, so he ............

[turboplanner]

.......dragged himself across the back yard, into the house, with everey step killing him and leaving a solid blood trail, started his computer with the arm that wasn't broken and transferred $3,700.00 to the Golf Club. Then he stopped and thought "..................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.............. loud yell as accusatory and mysongenist. ............

"How did Tinkywank know that I am a composer" HiHo said to Planey.

 

(HiHo was famous for his well known musical score "Zorba the Turk", & "The Rain in Portugal [falls mainly on the Hills]")

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Then he stopped and thought "..................

...... if I pay almost 4 gorillas to Skye B she (or he NTTIAWWT) had better also ........

Edited October 9, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

"..........pay 4 gorillas."  "Why would you pay gorillas" said Sock Puppet who was trying to keep the discussion going his way but a little slow on the uptake, but representing himself as a University Professor.

Turbo bit We don't really pay gorillas, we pay ......

[onetrack]

.....peanuts to the monkeys, and that's why our flying organisations are such a mess! However, we've now realised the error of our ways, and have decided to pay them in bananas".

 

"This has three major benefits - One, Australia is almost a Banana Republic already, so it has great benefit in promoting our Nation - and Two, we already produce lots of Bananas (to the extent that a large number of Australians are known only, as Banana-benders) - and Three, the current fall in employment levels will be rapidly arrested, as more people will be employed in the Banana-bending industry".

 

"That's just brilliant!," exclaimed the Giant Jedi Rat. "But there's a lingering problem, in that we still have monkeys in charge of...........

Edited October 11, 2020 by onetrack

[bull]

 The NES , who seem to have now gone to the redacted monkeys with 1980,s  motorola phones and FBI/CIA/cappy,s weird dreams and conspiracy theories....................Well you have to roll[avref] with the times said turdy, why just now 88 was..............

Edited October 11, 2020 by bull

[Captain]

...... thrusting, in a ........

[bull]

very compromising way with .......

[Captain]

..... lots of .......

[onetrack]

....high octane fuel and top quality lubricant, when the sheer embarrassment of being found with.......

[turboplanner]

..........the potential of a CASA ramp check and being found with water in the fuel, failure to have both feet in the correct position for a prop start.

Just then Old Isaac walked up. "They caught me once just as I was had propping the old J5" he said. Isaac owned the Auster copy, built by the Wun Wing Lo Ltd, and had flown it for years before he flew it through two trees of lesser spacing than his wing span.

"I'd just managed to convince the FoI I was parking it instead of trying to start the engine when that little prick Jehovah turned up and said "I have a witness who says Isaac has just fueled up and was on the third stroke with the prop" Isaac was up the Tirgris without a paddle, so...............