The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

2 hours ago, bull said:

Stop press: Asio has arrested the ring leader of the NES import company as part of the investigations into international money laundering, Sgt,Wegotja said that the Captain [alias ,cappy /Ratty/etc] was involved in the moving of funds from international crime rings into Australia.  And a nation wide alert has been issued for the captains second in charge who we are closing in on ,beware this individual is classified as dangerous and the public is advised to NOT approach him if recognized and notifie authorities immediately.  He is described as looking like a village people actor with a pentchant for tight leather pants.  This is the only image we have of him at present and if seen report straight away

The Skipper has 2 comments which he makes "Without Prejudice".

 

1 The funds were handled as part of the free enterprise covenants of the Australian Constitution (We the people & it's only a problem if you get sprung etc .... and all that stuff)

 

2 He's a lovely lad & don't knock it if you haven't tried it (NTTIAWWT).

Edited October 20, 2020 by Captain

[Captain]

On 20/10/2020 at 6:35 AM, Captain said:

Below is the video of bull, as recorded by ASIO as part of their investigation of Turbo bed Linen, Al G and the Taswegian 111% militia,  who have a close association with the Moorabbin Bra Boys and the ........

..... WA Labor Party, who Onesie thinks are .....

[onetrack]

......all part of a huge conspiracy to interfere with the freedom of aviation. As to Turbo Bed Linen, the part that he plays in this major conspiracy is very opaque to the ASIO investigators, but it seems there's a substantial family tie-up, involving cat farms, antique aircraft, speedway cars, and even trucks.

The range of areas involved in the Turbo Bed Linen is quite staggering to investigators, and they're at a loss to try and explain the diverse areas the Bed Linen Family are involved in - but like all major family groups suspected of dodgy business dealings, and organised crime links, the investigators are sure they will eventually tie all the diverse links together, to show how this family group operates.

There's also dark talk, only spoken of in whispered tones, about how Turbo Bed Linen was involved in some high level.......

Edited October 21, 2020 by onetrack

[Captain]

...... (avref) interference in the failed Pell prosecutions, where the Turbine Enterprises Proceeds of Crime (TEPOC) investigations crossed with the 1960s enquiry into that famous runway (avref) incursion at Tyabb where Tubb's ........

Edited October 21, 2020 by Captain

[bull]

aerostar crashed at the end of the runway whilst attempting to takeoff whilst 1500kg overweight with bed linen and cocaine. The end result of this [TEPOC] investigation only recovered the bed linen as the cocaine had disappeared.[suspected to have been flown out via Cappy airlines disguised as..............

[onetrack]

...... chalk sticks, ostensibly for teachers in the schools for orphans in Venezuela. But as everyone knows, Cappys airlines don't fly to Venezuela - and if they did, the DEA would have nailed......

[turboplanner]

......them which was why they flight planned for Bogota, Columbia, and while the DEA Team were in the Corporate Jet confident of catching them, landed in Aukland, reporting a flat tyre, and took off again on a series of local flights isand hopping and finally sending the cargo FedEx to Taos New Mexico where it was divided up and sent to various schools which had contacted Turbine Secretarial for their office duties. From their they went to secret destinations [we can't tell you because the competitors would blow us away]. After they'd beensold and paid for, Officers of Turbine Security, working for the FBI for a flat fee of $30 million confiscated the lot and handed over their details to the FBI. The shipment was incinerated by Cappy's Disposals for an undisclosed fee, and ......

[Captain]

.......... is now, magically, back on the market (Cappy's Disposals are great guys, however they do have a couple of little security issues to address, but heck, who can blame them for being a little entrepreneurial).

 

An Investigative Journalist at the ABC (how's that for an oxymoron) wondered why this $30 million payment to Turbine Security, identically matched (even had the same serial numbers on the notes) the ammount paid to Unified Security for the Victoristan Hotel Security Debacle (the VHSD).

 

"We are one and the same" responded Turbo, "As I am a well known indigenous person who has been tested and has been proven to be 95.8% indigenous, and that has entitled me to ...........

Edited October 21, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

"....claim anything and get away with anything, and have the Torres Strait flag flown in fronty of every Council Office in the land.

"We've hired Turbine Music to write a First Nations [Canadian Indian ref] National Anthem which will be required to be played before each Council Meeting. Bondy left us the copyright to the music and it will be called Bros Downunder."

This was to much for OT who fainted, causing......

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

This was to much for OT who fainted, causing......

.......... consternation in the WA Health System (the WA Premier twerp was apoplectic and apple-cidered) because all of the ventilators were being saved for non-existent Covid patients and one of them didn't have the UniRoute's name on it, OT's AUF license (#000000001) was revoked, his long term girlfriend (NTTIAWWT) gave him the flick and Turbine Resuscitation Inc decided not to waste any of their .............  

[onetrack]

.....fuel flying to the non-existent COVID-19 patients in W.A., and instead, sold their surplus fuel to Cappys Airlines, who had engineered a new delivery contract with some important people in Mexico.

Of course, Cappy paid for the fuel in suitcases full of cash, in US$ ("just to avoid unnecessary taxes", he told Turbo), and then arranged to have his airline Headquarters relocated to the Cook Islands, where financial transactions weren't scrutinised to the level they are elsewhere.

Meantimes, Cappy got word his AOC was going to be cancelled, due to serious lapses in maintenance records of his aircraft - but he got on the phone to Turbo and asked him who it was best to approach with another suitcase of cash, to make the AOC problem go away. Turbo said, "You've come to the right bloke, I have all the necessary contacts, and it won't be long before.....

[turboplanner]

"that FoI will be doing ramp checks in Moonie and .........."

[bull]

I advise you to steer cleer of it !  Go west young man...Alice springs is pretty crowded, but ya might get a tie down spot if ya hurry said................. 

[turboplanner]

....Turbo for the second time, combining one sentence into two.

Alastair Namatjera had been sitting quietly while Turbo had been talking to Cappy.

"I gotta idea" Al (not the other Al) told Cappy and picked up his phone.

"Hey Bro" he said and put the phone on speaker "Hey Bro" came the reply in the static.

"Bro, can you handle a Whitey for few days? He hiding from CASA" 

"Yeah Bro, we hide anyone from those bastards, What's his name?"

"Captain Cook replied Al. 

"We'll sort him out Bro came the reply.

Al explained that Cappy would be going to Bridle Srings, much closer than Alice Springs

Leave the gin alone though" said Al

"You'll find out when Morton catch you" said Al chuckling and so Cappy headed west by ........

 

[Captain]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

so Cappy headed west by ........

..... northwest to seek ......

[turboplanner]

.........Bridal Springs, a most difficult place to find because ......

 

[Captain]

..... the locals want to keep .....

[onetrack]

......all the riff-raff that hangs around WreckFlyin', out of the area, due to its pristine waters, manicured gardens and lawns, and its beautifully-built bar and cafe.

 

Bridal Springs it got its name from the number of Bridal parties held there - well away from prying eyes, so the women could become completely uninhibited and.....

Edited October 25, 2020 by onetrack

[Captain]

..... get "them" out, something that Planey was very ......

[turboplanner]

........firm on. So he decided on a rescue mission for the two pilots. In Bridal Springs there was only one place to go; Morton's 4WD Hire.

"I don't have one right now" said Morton, "Twiggy hired the last three; call me back in an hour, and we'll ......................."

 

Morton's 4WD Detailing

 

Edited October 26, 2020 by turboplanner

[bull]

fire up the old jeep with the ww2 flight pac fitted [AVREF]

 she flew alright the last time i took her up , hmmmm must have been around 1952 i think said Morton . Ok  said turdy but where is cappy going to sit?

Edited October 26, 2020 by bull

[Captain]

13 hours ago, bull said:

"She flew alright the last time I took her up, hmmmm must have been around 1952 I thunkded" blurted Morton.

 

"Ok" said Turdfeatures calmly and with class. "But where is our beloved Cappy going to sit?" ...........

NOTE ... THE ABOVE POST FROM BULL HAS BEEN CORRECTED FOR CAPS, PUNCTUATION, NAMES & DESCRIPTIONS. SO IF ANYONE IS TAZZY HAS A WORKING KEYBOARD WILL THEY PLEASE GO OUTSIDE, YELL BULL'S NAME AND GIVE IT TO HIS SISTER (THE KEYBOARD, THAT IS).

 

......... but Cappy is an empennage type of guy (he loves that word) and said "I'll go up the back .......

Edited October 26, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

....and practise my French! "Don't worry about your French!", said Bull. "I'll be practising my French words, trying to fly this thing? What position is the 4WD lever in for flying? Are these tyres aviation grade? What do I do for a mixture lever? And does the steering wheel still work the same for the rudder, as it does on the road? Inquiring minds need to know, before we get airborne in this thing!"

 

"No need to worry about all that crap!", said Cappy. "These things fly themselves, even without the WW2 Flight Pack fitted..... (and here, Dear NES readers, we have proof of Willys Jeeps flying abilities - and please also note, dear NES'ers, Cappy seated in the rear, as he requested, and hanging on for dear life. Of course, he could have that white-knuckle grip due to Bulls [lack of] flying skills......)

Edited October 27, 2020 by onetrack

[Captain]

............ however Bull is a Wreckreational Flyer of high repute and he put a new spin on the $250 hamburger.

 

"Hey Skip" said Bull "Let's re-cross the Straight (LMBTQref) and fly (avref) up to Bone to get a fresh mango smoothie from the girls at the Bone Rissole, and while we are there we can take advantage of their special offer (which is somewhat akin to the deals in Munich nightclubs) of 1 Mango Smoothie and a quick ..........

Edited October 27, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

".......poached Coral Trout."

Suitably refreshed, Cappy sat down to peruse the Brisbane Carrier Pigeon to check his share prices.

He turned pale, and reached for a gin; it couldn't be true; it .......................