The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

............just get in the wrong door by mistake, press this button, hit D, right foot down, and he ran the BMW straight into the 35 punturing the radiator on the BMW and the nose wheel on the 35. The Constable looked at him with a faraway look in his eyes.......the paperwork......the witness statements......."had you secured your vehicle Constable?"..... the independent inquiry. "Just go" he said to the Captain, "no one wold ever believe me anyway" The Constable stood there as the last of the coolant drainer from the beamer, then a thought...............

Edited November 10, 2020 by turboplanner

[Captain]

..... satisfy a lifelong dream of owning a diesel X5, which are way quicker than a 'Vette, but still .......

 

 

OH CRAP ..... TUBB'S POST WAS ON THE NEXT PAGE AND I'M OUT OF ORDER AGAIN. THE SKIPPER IS LOSING IT (turboref)

Edited November 11, 2020 by Captain

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The Constable stood there as the last of the coolant drainer from the beamer, then a thought...............

..... started to emerge, before he stepped back "Stop that. You are one of VicPols finest and don't get paid to think. You get paid to .......

[onetrack]

.........chase offenders, deliver summonses, attend to domestic incidents, and fill in thousands of forms and dockets. You can handle this, it's just a matter of finding someone else to blame".

 

And as Starlight disappeared in the distance, hot-footing it to the next available and accessible aircraft he could steal, there came the familiar sound of a ..........

[turboplanner]

...........Tiger Moth; it was Foxhunter complete in jodpurs, leather jacket and silk scarf. He waved to ..........

[Captain]

...... Starlight in a way that many witnesses have since been heard to say may have reflected a previous gay dalliance. (Plus Starlight loved Jodpurs, either on or off).

 

Now was that "gay" as in happy & contented, or did it perhaps come (dallianceref) with the stigma that is so often associated with Foxy and his(or her NTTIAWWT) penchant for .......

 

AN EARLY PHOTO OF FOXY IN JODDIES (So you

CAN perhaps see why Turb's ancestor would have.)

 

Edited November 11, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....perhaps getting closer than he should to someone in jodpurs. Turbo had never flown with him for this reason (not that Turbo had ever worn jodpurs) but you never knew when a innocent called aloud would be taken the wrong way, and then ...........

[Captain]

MORE EVIDENCE OF TURDBOY IN JODPERS IN 1936, DOING HIS BEST BONNIE & CLYDE IMPERSONATION, BUT WITHOUT BONNIE.

Edited November 11, 2020 by Captain

[bull]

and another shot with Bonnie during the russian uprising of 1932Bonnie had put a little weight on after the feasting of 1930,ah said turbo ,i remember it well ,,why ................

[turboplanner]

....she was walking next to me I don’t know. I was undercover for the CIA doing a troop count and she kept walking up to me saying “Cappiski!, Cappiski! you see him? Tell him I have babiska!”  Turbo had forgotten about it but thanks to Bull has been reminded. Happy news Cappy, you have a son in Russia. He’d be 54 now, and......

[onetrack]

....he's a Wing Commander in the Russian Air Force, and he's known to have leanings towards BBW and a large appetite for Vodka. He also drives a 1977 Moskvitch and flies a 1929 Polikarpov Po-2 biplane, which was recovered from a swamp in the Ukraine, and which was restored to flying condition by the local Moskvitch dealer - using Moskvitch parts, when no Polikarpov parts could be found. He's the spitting image of his father, right down to his aircraft-construction skills.

 

The interesting thing about Wing Commander повара Polikarpov Po-2 is that it wears the colours of ......

Edited November 12, 2020 by onetrack

[Captain]

........... the LBTQRVWXYZ community, which is also the unofficial banner of the McGowan Gov't of the newly independent nation of Western Straya ............ where the internet crashed this morning due to Onetrack's manifold searches for all matter Russian.

 

This caused ASIO and 7 other secret intelligence organizations to focus their actions on Onesie and WS.

 

"We can't have the newly independent nation of Western Straya, nor their new President Twiggy Scrub, being influenced by Vlad" said bull, who moonlights as an skippy intelligence chief (his pretend use of non-capital letters is just a ruse to trick the bomb-chuckers) "As the Ruskies are more danger than ISIS or the Abrolhos Independence League (the AIL) who have entered into an alliance with the Rottnest Island People's Front (the RIPF) and the Monkey Mia Freedom Fighters Association (the MMFFA) who have all declared their independence and are firing rockets each night into the ............

 

THE WS RAINBOW FLAG. (ONESIE'S SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS ABOUT AT

THE LEVEL OF THE DIRTY GREEN COLOUR.)

Edited November 12, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......packed caravaners cooking dinner after having driven 5,000 km to pat a dolphin, and finding out only kids under 3 were allowed to pat them.The language wasn't too good before the rockets were fired, but once they started to skim close to the tops of the vans, it was on and they responded with.............

[Captain]

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The language wasn't too good before the rockets were fired, but once they started to skim close to the tops of the vans, it was on and they responded with.............

............ chinese made Great Grizzly ball-shooters that they had bought illegally from a shonky pop-up-shop in Canberra 5 years before, soon after also visiting the 3 adult shops which still sell in brown paper bags.

 

"Something is going to explode" said Gwenda as she sat around the fire pit outside their van and prepared to .......... 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATOEdMBFE9Y&feature

Edited November 12, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......cook two sausages and an onion for the 387th day in a row.

Cappy didn't have his glasses, and when he saw the information about the six inch shells, he knew he would have to go bigger. He drove the land cruiser over to the RSL and dragged back a WW1 15inch Howitzer. It took 48 packets of 12 gauge shells before it filled the breech, and Cappy lined it up carefully on the MMFFA. LuckilyCappy also suffered from severe stigmatism because he missed all the MMFFA members but cut a trawler in half. 

 

He'd forgotten to peg down the Howitzer and the kick back launched it right across the road and though BOK SOY's Chinese Restaurant.

 

Cappy jumped in the Land Cruiser and .......

 

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy jumped in the Land Cruiser and .......

........ headed south to get away from an irate Bok Soy.

 

"Buk" said Bok "Rook what has happened to my lestaulant, you dopy Bucker".

 

But to get away from Bok meant that he needed to head straight for the MMFA Training Camp & Explosive Vest Manufacturing facility (the MMFATS&EVMF), ............. but more dangerously he was also driving into the Happy Hour at the local van park, where everyone was sitting around in a fairy circle, quilting and discussing the perils of the ..........

 

AN UNDERCOVER PHOTO OF THE MOST DANGEROUS BUNCH.

(BERYL AT CENTRE BACK HAS DESIGNS ON WHICHEVER

IS THE MOST ENEBRIATED BLOKE.)

Edited November 12, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....Whitlam ere where men were men and women ran for cover.

"There was none of that ABCFBI then" he said, and without the slightest change in knitting speed, Beryl corrected him.

"Why can't they plant XXXXXXX LAWN in these places" said Mauie, who'd just dropped his sausage in the stones.

"Pooh!, who dropped that one" said James, covering up his own...................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

"Pooh!, who dropped that one" said James, covering up his own...................

........ embarrassment.

 

"Why ask me, Jimmy?" replied Pooh, who had been wandering around without dacks since ..........

 

Edited November 12, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........his mother named him Winnie.

Not many people know that he was a real person, educated at Harvard, where he has been a student for nearly 60 years with degrees in any subject that didn't require going to work. His best work was in history where he produced a 1700 page thesis on the manufacture of hoof picks for the animals taking part in the American Civil War.

 

This background made him an ideal mate for Cappy, who imagined he also had degrees and would spend hours telling ...................

[Captain]

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

This background made him an ideal mate for Cappy, who imagined he also had degrees and would spend hours telling ...................

....... Pooh that they should start of legal firm called "Crappy and Cappy Legal Services PLC", because Cappy's academic achievements at Harvard (avref), and then at Spitfire (anotheravref), was initially in Veterinary Science, specialising in Artificial Insemination, which contains hard earned lessons for the AUF and for ............. 

[turboplanner]

.....that matter the RAA itself. Pooh could feel a thesis coming on, so ......

[bull]

retiredn to the little room ,,, now back to starlight he was now apoplectic about his.................

[Captain]

....... stools.

 

His chairs were also an issue too .......

[turboplanner]

......particularly the garden recliners which had become lost in his front lawn. "I mow the lawn every year whether it needs it or not"  he said defensively, "but now I can't find them and these chairs were given to me by the last Czar of Russia, so I can't afford to run over them."

 

Mustapha Turbas, who had been missing for several pages set fire to the lawn and when the fore was out assures Cappy that he must have left the chairs somewhere else.

 

Starlight had a sneaking suspicion he had been ...........................

[turboplanner]

Just now, turboplanner said:

......particularly the garden recliners which had become lost in his front lawn. "I mow the lawn every year whether it needs it or not"  he said defensively, "but now I can't find them and these chairs were given to me by the last Czar of Russia, so I can't afford to run over them."

 

Mustapha Turbas, who had been missing for several pages set fire to the lawn and when the fire was out assures Cappy that he must have left the chairs somewhere else.

 

Starlight had a sneaking suspicion he had been ...........................