The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

WHAT THE HECK DO WE DO NOW?

 

IT LOOKS LIKE TUBB HAS QUOTED HIMSELF.

 

SO DOES THIS CONSTITUTE TURBO PLAYING WITH HIMSELF (AGAIN)?

 

OR IS THAT JUST A CORVETTE OWNER THING?

 

 

Edited November 12, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

TURBO WAS MERELY DOUBLE POSTING IN AN EFFORT TO HELP GET MORE POSTS MOVING ON WF.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

TURBO WAS MERELY DOUBLE POSTING IN AN EFFORT TO HELP GET MORE POSTS MOVING ON WF.

WHICH IS, INDEED, A SELFLESS ACT BY OUR FEARLESS MEMBER OF THE TABLOID TURBOID CLAN, LED BY RUPERT AND LACHLAN TURBOID.

 

NOW .......... WHERE WERE WE .....................

 

 

Edited November 12, 2020 by Captain

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Mustapha Turbas, who had been missing for several pages set fire to the lawn and when the fire was out assures Cappy that he must have left the chairs somewhere else.

 

Starlight had a sneaking suspicion Mustapha had been ..........

........ smoking wacky tobacky, had his hand on it even more than usual, and ...........

Edited November 12, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....had set out especially to cause another major Religious War, by burning Cappys prized chairs. Or perhaps Mustapha was just intent on carrying out a Revolution, and burning items previously belonging to a Czar of Russia was another good way to repeat 1917 all over again.

 

But Cappy was made of sterner stuff than taking offence at his prize chairs becoming ash, and set out after Mustapha with the only thing Mustapha recognised and feared - Cappys 1850' Russian sword, taken from a dead Russian and given to Cappys great-grandfather at the Seige of Sevastopol in 1855 (the Czar later forgave Cappys family for that win, and the chairs were a gift to Cappys father for saving the Czars daughter from drowning - but that's a story for later).

 

With the same burning rage that drove his ancestor to breach the walls of Sevastopol, Cappy set off after Mustapha, who had taken to his heels with alacrity, the instant he spotted the sword, and realised that Cappy was deadly serious, and intent on revenge. But good fortune suddenly stepped in for Mustapha, as.........

Edited November 13, 2020 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.......saw an Army Surplus store ahead of him with the sign Historic Arms. Racing in he saw on a wall an 1800's longarm with 20 inch bayonet, grabbed it ran over to the counter and paid. He didn't ask for ammunition because that may have offended. He had just enough time to turn around when he heard a thump in the doorway; Cappy had tripped on the step and the sword sliced through some delicate 19th century lacework (Loxyref).

 

he was up again and heading for Mustapha, but Mustapha knew that a rifle and batonet easily outreached a sword. That had been proven at the Battle of Culloden, so he stood there and slashed at Cappy just as Cappy was getting ready for the kller stroke. The sword went wide and knocked over a stack of Willow Pattern dishes. The shopkeeper, Abraham Plane yelled, "Get out of here you dastards! Play in the street!"

 

But they never heard him; Starlight stepped lightly back but knocked over a stack of Bibles, and Mustapha went for the gut.

 

Cappy had no guts, so the rifle over-reached and Mustapha fell forward. Cappy slashed down with the sword straight for the throat but accidently struck a giant chamber pot.

 

By this time the police had arrived, accompaqnied by young stringers Sherly Holmes and Hercule Poirot, each hoping for a death they could solve.

 

The police were powerless; a whistle is no match for a rifle and bayonet or a sword.

 

Saved by a chamber pot, Mustapha leapt forward and stabbed Cappy in the left buttock with the bayonet. Cappy started squealing and wailing, and Mustapha had to put his arm around him and settle him down. Mustapha said he was sorry for burning the chairs and .......

 

[onetrack]

.....it was all a huge misunderstanding. But Cappy was inconsolable. Not only was he now nursing a deep flesh wound in his buttock, which made sitting very uncomfortable - he was also short of two comfortable chairs in the long grass, where he could relax and sip his G&T's, when the pressures of the world became too much.

 

Suddenly, there was a roar of a powerful car, and a red Ferrari flashed into view, and pulled up in front of the pair.

It was Cappys famous Italian playboy friend, Alfredo Gaetani di Laurenzana del'Aquila d'Aragona Monatelli - known simply as Fred to his friends.

He jumped out of the Ferrari and went over to Cappy, and hugged him and kissed him on both cheeks, in a display of typical European genuine affection.

 

However, this effusive old Italian greeting could also be a simple diversion, to deflect from the true meaning of the visit - to assassinate the greeted one.

Cappy was wary, he always suspected his playboys friends money had mysterious origins - and now, this effusive greeting was making him even more wary.

 

He backed away a little, to look for the warning protruding bulges in Freds pants........

Edited November 15, 2020 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

....he was right; there was a slim bulge in the pants about the size of a stiletto. Fred realised Cappy had seen his tool; Cappy had seen Fred's furtive look, and they both moved at the same time. Like lightning, Fred had his stiletto out and struck for Cappy's heart. Cappy was too quick, he'd grabbed the Chamber pot, easily parried the blow and heard Fred's wrist bones crack when the blade hit cast iron.

 

Mustapha, who hated both Italians and playboys, on the basis that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, grabbed a piece of 4x2 from some renovations Cappy had been doing, and laid Fred out, but just as .........

[Captain]

...... Fred became limp (Turboref), some Yank questioned what had just happened, & asked "Did you use a 2 X 4 or was it a .......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......different brand of baseball bat. This started a fight because the Secretary of the newly formed American Baseball Foundation had just walked past. The Foundation had worked for 35 years to try to rid the game of being for builders only because in it's early days the players just brought their favourite length of 4x2 with them to the game, and they wore their overalls to play. The Players kept on tripping over, so the legs were cut off above the knees, and the problem of trying to remember eastern Eurpean names like Klackenhofenbuger was solved by embroidering a number on their bag.  At first round bats were rejected by the players who ............

[onetrack]

....were mostly from countries where a round bat was seen as being effeminate. But when the Foundation brought in an aerodynamics (avref) expert to explain via colour cartoon drawings, that the aerodynamics and easier swinging abilities of a round bat, were far superior to a straight length of 4 x 2, the players all then agreed that round bats would be the standard, from then on.

 

However - back to the fight - it started off as verbal abuse then descended into wild swings, then glasses, bottles and chairs were being thrown. It was all going Cappys way, until he copped a.....

[Admin]

"hi there" from...

[Captain]

3 hours ago, Admin said:

hi there" from...

IS THAT EEEEEN WHO HAS POSTED OR SOME OTHER ADMIN BLOW-IN?

 

AND CAN'T WRECK FLYING AFFORD CAPS ANY MORE DOWN THERE IN DAN'S MELBOURNISTAN ..... OR IS bull now an admin control freak (casaref)

Edited November 17, 2020 by Captain

[Captain]

3 hours ago, Admin said:

"hi there" from...

..... a couple of senior ladies from the Rissole at whatever town the fight was happening in (the Skipper had lost track of where the NES is located in at the moment).

 

While Starlight is used to ladies making eyes and saying "Hi there", he is not dead yet and always responds with a lump in his ......

Edited November 17, 2020 by Captain

[Admin]

Neck making all the woman in the ladies bathroom run out screaming that just because he is wearing a dress, a woman he does make,...

[bull]

real woman feel unnecessarily uncomfortable sitting on the comode,what with all the associated load noises and ...

[Captain]

..... the fact that Holden no longer make them.

 

"I can still source them OK" volunteered Starlight "As the doors for ........

[onetrack]

....1968 Bedford trucks are a direct fit for the Commode! "Ahhh, that can't be right", said Turbo, "Why would Holden be using 1968 Bedford truck doors?"

 

"It's because GM and GMH always used up surplus designs for many years afterwards", said Onesie with a knowing look (and only he knows that 1952 Chev, Pontiac and Opel doorhandles were used on FE and FC Holdens - and the FC rear door chrome trim was a '55 Pontiac door trim, just inverted!)

 

"Oooh", said Cappy, "That means there must be a lot more interchangeable GM and GMH parts! I always wondered how Holdens kept going! It was because they were built from surplus parts!"

 

"Well, it could be worse, I suppose", mused Turbo. "They could've all been Friday parts - and we all know that's how the P76 came about. In fact, just the other day......

Edited November 17, 2020 by onetrack

[Captain]

....... a person in FNQ scrapped a 2002 model Corvette to obtain parts for his Gemini, which while a little .........

[Captain]

.......... perhaps a tad radical, he felt that the 2002 'Vette was the equivalent of a P76 without the 4.5 L Rover engine and without the ability to fit a 44 gallon drum in the boot (the P76 is widely regarded in state terms as being the modern equivalent of WA and in aviation (avref) aircraft terms it was the equivalent of .............

Edited November 17, 2020 by Captain

[bull]

a skytruck [this being the result of one  of cappy,s gun running days in Angola],although the french put in a counter claim as it being........[.that our Nord was always better then the p76 for carting a 44 gallon drum]Suclablue said Onesie in very bad french this means...

Edited November 17, 2020 by bull

[Captain]

.... "Suck the Blue" (this is the literal google french translation).

 

Blue looked up from reading his paper and responded "........

 

PS - Le Capitane noticed that la bull is having a few issues with his post layouts and fitting in les pickies. "Cest tres amuze la bull" responde les grande Skipperrrr.

Edited November 17, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............."Blue Suit; it's a French term for their equivalent of CASA. The photo above was the result of a Blue Suit investigation of potential wing flutter at high speed. They decided to test fly the aircraft themselves and were able to produce the flutter. "That happens to me evey time I see......."

 

 

PS Placez un fouterre en midel est c'best outlay

Edited November 17, 2020 by turboplanner

[Captain]

...... the top of a ......

[onetrack]

......grove of palm trees", said El Capitaine.....