The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

........ because Starlight (who, I remind NESers, was a relative of Turbo) was well known for excessive use of his palm (Another subtle casaref), but that's another story, of which onetrack is .......

Edited November 18, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

......certain to never reveal the truth of, due to his confidentiality agreement with Starlight, which also encompasses the events surrounding some wild parties in the Gumly RSL Hall, during which Cappy is known to have stripped off in front of a group of ladies, and done a....

Edited November 18, 2020 by onetrack

[Captain]

........... a naked hand stand followed by a couple of extravagant dacksless catherine-wheels.

 

"It looks to me like his thru-bolt (Jabref) might be broken" said Mavis, who had seen (and felt) a few.

 

"No" responded Starlight with conviction "That is my ...........

Edited November 19, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

".........swivelling tail wheel [avref].

One day up in the Khyber Pass, in the heat of battle I had to fly some ammunition in, and get out under fire.

I had to turn on a sixpence and if it wasn't for that swivelling tail wheel, I'd have been gonners."

They all reflected on that brave aviation act of Captain Starlight, and then Planey said a very silly thing; "You .............."

[onetrack]

....didn't think to pick up a white Muzzie frock while you were there, did you? I'm in need of one for an upcoming fancy dress ball".

 

"I didn't even have time to think about what I was going to wear next!", said Cappy. "The air was full of lead, and those AK-47's pack a punch! In fact, if it wasn't for.......

[turboplanner]

.....VC winner Mustapha T, we would have been gonners.

Unflinchingly he jumped up out of the trench and took car of 200 Khybers with his trusty Vickers.

"Typically the British Commanders had initially objected to the gong, saying if we'd let them pass there would have been no trouble, but the Canadians stood up for us" said Mahatma OT,  "and............"

[bull]

this was suddenly all drowned out by the sound of a french Nord screaming overhead and dropping a 44 gallon drum [they where a bit peeved about only getting three references in the NES],,as the drum slowly rotated [avref] as it fell clearly a word could be seen written on it,,,,Oh no screamed onesie run for your lives its........

[Captain]

4 hours ago, bull said:

and dropping a 44 gallon drum [they where a bit peeved about only getting three references in the NES],,as the drum slowly rotated [avref] as it fell clearly a word could be seen written on it,,,,Oh no screamed onesie run for your lives its........

........ big and round and about the same size as the 200 litre drums that we use as fire pits, BBQs and incinerators back out on the farm ...... but if it hits us we will be gonners (2 X Turboref from previous posts).

 

"That's the crafty problem that we have, as these Muzzies fill the drums with ULP and when we try to oxy them open for a BBQ, we all get BBQ'd, so I think I'll just paint the drum with caricatures of the Profit ($'s not the religious dude) and send it back to them with a love note that says ".............. 

Edited November 20, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

....."From Mohammad with kind regards!" . "That's just awful!", said Cappy. "That's worse than the Brits and Yanks painting nasty things about Nazis on their bombs during WW2!"

 

"Ahhh, all's fair in love and war!", said Onetrack. "Besides, how crafty is it of them, to use French Nords and make us think they're Allied aircraft? And how did those peasants learn to drive Nords, anyway?"

 

"They went to the Mustapha Turbine Flying School (avref), of course", said Turbo loftily. "Our family has a long and illustrious history of teaching anyone who has a burning desire to fly, to bring their dreams to fruition".

 

"I suppose that's why we rarely see Muzzie pilots in Muzzie enemy aircraft", said Cappy. "They couldn't afford the fees! I'll wager the fees are astronomical, with all the various Turbine Enterprise businesses needing substantial support".

 

"Well, it is true the aircraft are serviced by Turbine LAME's and fuelled by Turbine Fuelling Services, and the office is contracted to Turbine Office Services, and the simulator is owned by Turbine Simulators - but it's not fair to say our flying fees are outrageous - everyone knows that flying and learning to fly isn't cheap!"

 

"That may be so", said Cappy. "But I'll wager when the Muzzies found out that their flying activies were governed by the Turbine Aviation Safety Authority (TASA), they weren't happy Muzzies!"

 

"Well, it is true we did place some onerous conditions on their flying operations", said Turbo. "But even though we banned Muzzie frocks for Muzzie pilots, they seemed to take it in good humour - that was, until the day we found......

Edited November 20, 2020 by onetrack

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

"Well, it is true we did place some onerous conditions on their flying operations", said Turbo. "But even though we banned Muzzie frocks for Muzzie pilots, they seemed to take it in good humour - that was, until the day we found......

........ that they woke up to the fact that they were being ripped off with the need in the cockpit (cockref and avref) for a Turbine Enterprises (TE) throttle man, a TE pitch adjuster, a TE flap deployer, a TE undercarriage lowerer (even needed with fixed landing gear), a TE forehead wiper (plus a TE undies washer for any dodgy landings).

 

But with all of these TE hanger on'ers (Turboref) the Muzzie pilots soon realized that they were sitting ducks for Weight & Balance transgressions and fines.

 

"TE are BS" said Ali bin Fined after the CASA bloke had been beheaded (muzzieref) and left beside the ramp, where ..........

 

 

Edited November 20, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......he had been merely doing Ramp Checks (RC).

In 30 years of Intermittant Health Checks (IHC) he had never found a Joint or Cigarette (JC)

More importantly he had never fined Foxhunter who swears to this day that he had deep pockets.

This was merely an innocent CASA operative who had been disconnected from his head and then told to eat ......

Edited November 20, 2020 by turboplanner

[Captain]

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

This was merely an innocent CASA operative who had been disconnected from his head and then told to eat ......

....... it up and stop being such a sook.

 

But that is when ..........

[onetrack]

....the trouble really started - when it was reported to CASA HQ, that one of their operatives on a ramp, was "running around like a headless chook".

 

When the investigation started, it was clear this was to be no ordinary investigation. It was an entirely new process for CASA to investigate itself - and almost certainly, a headless CASA operative was something they had no experience in investigating.

 

But it was obvious, this was a serious, aviation-related event, that happened on CASA-controlled territory, and no stone would be......

Edited November 20, 2020 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

..........unturned, although plenty would be thrown as all the usual suspects were rounded up, broght in to HQ and interrogated.

Ima Bin Duit had the most difficult time because ..............

[Captain]

On 21/11/2020 at 6:03 AM, turboplanner said:

Ima Bin Duit had the most difficult time because ..............

...... he (or she) ........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

...... he (or she) ........

........ was gay (happy & content), always drank 5 double gins before each flight, and never carried current maps.

 

This infuriated .........

[turboplanner]

........was a she,  and a stunner underneath that Hijab.

 

The problem was this wasn't obvious from the exterior clothing, and since  Captain Starlight's brother, an ex SAS Sergeant had the morals of a tom cat, he gave her a rough time.  Sergeant Starlight had made a fundamental error though, and was no match for Ima who .......

 

[Captain]

......... loved a rough time and a rough lineage, which is certainly the case within the Turboid family & genus (which included some decidedly sketchy individuals who had been conceived out of wedlock and in the back-seat of an FJ and of assorted Toyota gun platforms).

 

Starlight's brother also found the Hijab stunningly erotic and found that he ..............

Edited November 22, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......was almost beside himself when he was interviewing Ima who had a black belt in karate,

He should have been in front of himself because Ima quickly identified the situatiion and gave him a swift kick in the nuts, which.......

[Captain]

......... went north (avref) and hid in his .........

[turboplanner]

.....bifolds where they were safe from any predation. He quickly went back to ihs canoe and paddled south before they stretched to the point where...............

[Captain]

..... they extended over the full length of his .......

[turboplanner]

...20,000 acre wilderness property. He would be safe here.

Just then he heard the unmistakeable sound of a Fokker Tri plane. The eagle eyes of the pilot picked him out in the bifold and the aircraft banked and landed lightly beside the fast flowing river.

He walked over to the aircraft and suddenly exclaimed "What are you doing here Red? Where is ..................................."

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He walked over to the aircraft and suddenly exclaimed "What are you doing here Red? Where is ..................................."

......... Bluey? And by the way, those Fokkers are Messerschmitts (oldjokeref)."

 

The Wilderness Property was just on the edge of ............

Edited November 22, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........the training area for the French Foreign Legion and had all.......................