The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

On 14/12/2020 at 12:31 PM, Captain said:

"Talk about feral?" commented Turbo "Down here in Danland they are called .....

........ the castigated .........

[turboplanner]

"...Quasmanians.   For a start they don't have............"

[onetrack]

....any castigaticles left, because they've been removed via castigation. A painful experience, no doubt, but one that only a Qausmanian could relate to. Furthermore, they are often.....

Edited December 15, 2020 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

........castigatory for years and very difficult to deal with. They have a tendency to the left, and, for example, when builing a recreational aircraft, will always make the left wing slightly bigger. Despite the ridicule from other members, who often fit adhesive stickers "port" and "starboard" on their wings, there is no record of any of Castigated spinning in on the left turn to Final (often called by the non-catigated Finals, even though there's only one, except............

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........castigatory for years and very difficult to deal with. They have a tendency to the left, and, for example, when builing a recreational aircraft, will always make the left wing slightly bigger. Despite the ridicule from other members, who often fit adhesive stickers "port" and "starboard" on their wings, there is no record of any of Castigated spinning in on the left turn to Final (often called by the non-catigated Finals, even though there's only one, except............

........ when there are parallel runways, when the Castigatti are at increased risk during a right turn to Final.

 

By giving publicity to the unequal size of wings, the Uniroute and Tinky Wank have exposed one of the biggest scandals within Wreck-reational Flying and the board of the AUF have rewarded them accordingly by awarding them the AUF's highly prized ......... 

 

IMPORTANT NOTE TO RECENT JOINERS OF THE NES - It is a little known fact that while RAA appears to oversee Recreational Flying in OZ, the AUF still has strong support from 110% of members and continues to function as a secret, underground & parallel organisation headquartered on the Dark Web (and in Smith St, Queanbeyan) with its tentacles throughout CASA, the NTSB and the RAAF. Even the Ministers for both Aviation and Defence are card carrying AUF members and bull has done a lot to establish the AUF in Tasmania, where he was sent on an undercover operation after his 100% success rate in growing the membership in F'nQ. bull is a recruiter par excellence, which belies his typing ability. 

Edited December 16, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

... Inequality Award, promoted by the LGBTQIAMAABFAABGQ group, which seeks to promote equality, when things are proven to be unequal, and serious discrimination is present.

 

However, there has been a serious failure on the part of Turbo and Cappy to point out, it's just not the unequal wing size of the Castigatti, that is a prominent feature of them - it's the fact that one wing always hangs lower than the other - something that even puzzles the Castigatti, and something that no amount of re-rigging can cure.

 

There has been serious consideration of the need for further education and re-adjustment amongst the Castigatti, so that this failing can be addressed, but to date, no group has stepped forward to.........

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, onetrack said:

... Inequality Award, promoted by the LGBTQIAMAABFAABGQ group, which seeks to promote equality, when things are proven to be unequal, and serious discrimination is present.

 

However, there has been a serious failure on the part of Turbo and Cappy to point out, it's just not the unequal wing size of the Castigatti, that is a prominent feature of them - it's the fact that one wing always hangs lower than the other - something that even puzzles the Castigatti, and something that no amount of re-rigging can cure.

 

There has been serious consideration of the need for further education and re-adjustment amongst the Castigatti, so that this failing can be addressed, but to date, no group has stepped forward to.........

..... explain it until now.

 

This "one wing lower than the other" feature of the Castigatti's aircraft (avref) design was derived from when their name was confused with that of the Castratti and refers back to their fond memory of how one hung lower than the other when they were pre-Castratti.

 

This history of aircraft design was celebrated annually at the AUF Ball (or sore point and unfortunate name in the eyes of the both the Castratti and the Castagatti) where they all stood around and sang ...........

Edited December 16, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............."Coming in on a wing and a Pair".

It was noticed that the Tasmanians near bull didn't join in this emotional song, and bull realised that his years of calling them Mexicans were about to ...........

 

[onetrack]

....come to an end, because he was now one of them. It brought tears to his eyes (even more than the Castratti's eyes, when they heard about "AUF Balls"), when he thought about how he used to......

[Captain]

4 hours ago, onetrack said:

....come to an end, because he was now one of them. It brought tears to his eyes (even more than the Castratti's eyes, when they heard about "AUF Balls"), when he thought about how he used to......

.... yell "Watch the bouncing ball" when they played Little Patti's Greatest Hits album at the Bone B&S "Wun-Hung-Lo" Ball (sponsored annually by WHL of the Bone City Wok), and bull did his party trick, dacks-less on his pogo stick, with his ........

Edited December 16, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....rubber ball balanced on the end of his nose. But one night, when he pulled this party trick, it all went terribly wrong. Bull bounced around the hall on his pogo stick, but because his head was tilted back to balance the ball, he couldn't see properly, as to where he was going.

Despite having tail-dragger skills (avref) and great experience in driving with restricted forward vision (avref), Bull's skills deserted him once he got on the pogo stick.

As it happened, he bounced straight onto the lap of Const Doubtfire, who promptly told him to "Gerroff!!" On the next bounce, he managed to hit Ahlox in the groin, who doubled over like an Australian cricketer who had just copped a bouncer. But Bull continued on his merry, bouncing way, totally unaware of the damage trail he was leaving.

Then suddenly, Bull was out the door, and bouncing down the steps of the Hall, and gaining speed and height (avref), without realising that.......

[turboplanner]

.......he'd bounced into the Wrest Point Casino, tripped over and fell on a Roulette table, bouncing the ball out onto the floor.

The Pit Manager yelled "....................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......he'd bounced into the Wrest Point Casino, tripped over and fell on a Roulette table, bouncing the ball out onto the floor.

The Pit Manager yelled "....................

....... "Get Mr bull a drink as he is a celebrity flyer, an NES legend, plus he is capabull, affabull, ........

[onetrack]

.....respectabull, fashionabull, notabull, indefatigabull - and we don't want him in an unrecoverabull position!" (avref). Casino staff rushed from every corner of the Casino, to help Bull back to his feet and place a complimentary drink in his hand. Another staff member handed him some complimentary Casino chips, such was Bulls outstanding performance in drawing people into the Casino.

Another staff member gave him some trousers to put on, as Bulls colourful underwear was startling, to say the least. The designs on his underwear would almost certainly distract the punters from placing bets in time.

 

"Where am I?", said Bull, looking around in stunned amazement. "The last thing I knew, someone had dacked me, and I........

Edited December 17, 2020 by onetrack

[Captain]

5 hours ago, onetrack said:

"Where am I?", said Bull, looking around in stunned amazement. "The last thing I knew, someone had dacked me, and I........

.......... have acted with commendabull decorum, which would be laughabull and uncomfortabull if it wasn't so contemptabull and I wasn't so loveabull & adorabull, which is irrefutabull yet ......

Edited December 17, 2020 by Captain

[bull]

the captain was still full of "BULL' and had still not declared his involvement with dominion voting machines.and the FBI are sneaking around the hallways of the NES looking for tit bits and such....why just now................

[turboplanner]

.......the FBI were holding a press conference in Washington DC, announcing that their Operation Gumly, carefully devised to sneak up on Cappy, had enough evidence to indict him on 84 charges of racketeering, 43 charges of vote shilling, and one count of indecent exposure. Cappy had been found to be the owner of 30,000 Dominion Voting Machines, and Donald Trump was right, one minute the voters were 60% Trump, and the next had trickled away to nothing when ...................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......the FBI were holding a press conference in Washington DC, announcing that their Operation Gumly, carefully devised to sneak up on Cappy, had enough evidence to indict him on 84 charges of racketeering, 43 charges of vote shilling, and one count of indecent exposure. Cappy had been found to be the owner of 30,000 Dominion Voting Machines, and Donald Trump was right, one minute the voters were 60% Trump, and the next had trickled away to nothing when ...................

........ the unflapabull Skipper put the voting machines on the tabull and was thereafter accountabull for the innumerabull & untraceabull bullsh........

 

THE SKIPPER EDUMACATING TINK & ONESIE ON THE DOMINION MACHINES

Edited December 17, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...oes, which were now a legal requirement in New Mexico. They are required to be made of rubber. The purpose is to reduce environmental noise throughout the State.

This is the reason Donald Trump was refused entry to NM.

Although the FBI were bullish about a potential conviction of the Lovabull Cappy who now found himself in a terribull position, he had incorporated into his voting machines the UNTRACABULL CHIP which was produced by Turbine and bull Electronics Inc so the probabull convictions evaporated and Cappy was free to............

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Although the FBI were bullish about a potential conviction of the Lovabull Cappy who now found himself in a terribull position, he had incorporated into his voting machines the UNTRACABULL CHIP which was produced by Turbine and bull Electronics Inc so the probabull convictions evaporated and Cappy was free to............

......... continue to be his usual personabull self and be a veritabull bullwark against the forces arrayed against ........

 

COMMERCIAL NOTE - The unholy alliance between Turbo and bull that has resulted in the formation of Turbine & bull Electronics Inc (TabEI) has been examined by ASIO and is considered to be akin to AlQuaed, the Taliban and ISIS getting together for coffee and a chat. Photos of Turbo are unavailable but he is thought to be the spit of Osama and bull is shown below (at home in Tazzy [note... not a shift key in sight]).

 

Edited December 17, 2020 by Captain

[Captain]

17 hours ago, bull said:

The captain was still full of "BULL'

MAJOR WRECK FLYING INVESTIGATION UNDERWAY.

 

"We can't have such unnatural acts occurring here" said Eeeeean "It's unacceptabull, yet perhaps pleasurabull, and while bull appears to be boasting + is rather pleased with himself, he needs to put it away & zip up right now" Eeeeean added "But I am very concerned at the look on bull's face, as below, & I think he is cruising (avref) for a(nother) banning (wfref)".

 

Edited December 18, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

Dear NES Readers - If one takes a close look, one will see that the Giant Jedi Rat has now shrunk to the size of a normal rat, waving an outsized wand, thus making readers wonder what has happened to the previously fearsome Jedi Rat? Was he caught up in a washing machine full of potent detergent, and shrank in the wash? Did a more fearsome wizard catch him, and cast a spell on him, that reduced his size? Intrepid and inquiring minds need to know ....

 

Meanwhile, the unholy alliance of Turbo and Bull which resulted in the newly-formed mystery group Tab-EIL, has been uncovered as a disruptive force designed to amalgamate the power of both Victoria and Tasmania, with regard to the electronic eavesdropping industry.

As a result, panic has ensued in the hallowed halls of Can-Bra, in the Australian Signals Directorate, in ASIO - and in ASIC, as it is unknown who the actual people were, that formed the new company.

It appears the new company was formed in some foreign tax haven, using Clive Palmers tax file number, and Bunnings ACN. Investigations are proceeding at the normal snail-like speed of the bureaucracy, and at this stage it can be revealed that.....

Edited December 18, 2020 by onetrack

[Captain]

7 hours ago, onetrack said:

Investigations are proceeding at the normal snail-like speed of the bureaucracy, and at this stage it can be revealed that.....

.......... while the availabull data may not be 100% reliabull, the investigators are comfortabull that it is reasonabull to assume that ............. 

[turboplanner]

........the assumption is probabully correct, but they had the bull by the horns.  Victoria, Tasmania, New Zealand, Fiji and Tuvalu had formed a corporation financed by China. The Corporation through a series of shelf companies in the Cayman Islands now owned the new Nation, called First Nations (even though that is the name of a group of indigenous south east Canadians). The new language would be New Zealand, and the national dish would be fush and chups and Kava, and from Tuvalu they would export sinkers. Using China's Belt and Road fund a new super highway would link these locations around the beaches. The National emblem would be a Kiwi and a Tasmanian Tiger fighting, and the National song would be the Haka, particularly when dealing with NSW and Queensland. The new President would be.................

[onetrack]

.....chosen from a select group of Noo Zulland rugby union players, and the criteria was a minimum height of 1.9M and 3 axehandles width across the shoulders. "Bro!" would be the primary form of regular greeting for corporation members.

It was also a requirement that no member of the corporation was to have any more than 2 family names in the last 14 generations, and at least 16 married cousins.

It was decided that a locally-built aircraft would be needed as the corporate aircraft (avref), so a competition would be held to produce plans for one to be built from scratch.

There was quite a bit of argument as to the aircraft design criteria. Numerous island nations demanded that the aircraft must be float-equipped, as they had vast amounts of water to contend with.

But the Noo Zullanders insisted it be built on the remnant fuselage and wings from a 1918 Sopwith, as this was a proven design - and besides they already had the huge and skilled aircraft restoration abilities in the country.

But the Fijians insisted that the aircraft had to run on ethanol (to support their sugar industry) and be fabric-clad (to support the Fijian garment industry). Tuvalu insisted that a design needing serious amounts of ballast was needed (to support their sinker industry). Tasmania demanded that only Huon pine was to be used in the frames of the fuselage and wings. But when Turbo (as Chairman) insisted that.....