The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

...re was a sound like a thousand Poms getting their tax returns, and shortly after, the sight of a thousand Drifters loaded with potatoes amd heading for Beijing. Cappy's head snapped around and he grabbed his 10x30 binoculars. In the sides of the Drifters he could clearly see the worlds "TurbineLite Freight"

 

Xi wondered how many Chinese he could feed with this tiny volume, and scowled at Turbo, who explained: "I was very impressed by a thread on WreckFline in 2009 where thye owners of Drifters put forward plans for Drifters to be used in Farm Inspections, Police Traffic Control, Search and Rescue, and crop spraying, and I thought, why not freight, and here we are."

 

Xi looked at him as if he was an idiot, and waved at the whining Drifters. "How many people could you feed with these?" he asked.

 

Turbo responded: "Each journey of a thousand steps starts with the first step"

 

"You can't turn pigsh!t into strawberry jam just by adding sugar" responded Xi.

 

"Jesus said unto the masses, 'break the fish' and they were all fed" responded Turbo.

 

"You about to come to Jesus" responded Xi, but then a lot louder noise was heard and thousands of ......................

 

 

 

[Captain]

......... Aussies chimed in with the well known expression, "The Rainbow Serpent's first steps often lead to the fishes for the masses being .............

 

(The NES respects old flyers past & present)

Edited January 5, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....consumed, for the benefit of the Gods". There was a studied silence as Xi digested this information and pondered over the ramifications for the Party - and his own position.

Finally, he spoke. "Who is this Lainbow Serpent guy, and is he amenable to coming on board the Belt and Road 50 year Plan? I can allange for him to have seat at Plarty table, and maybe even allow for him to say a few words, if you can plove he has substantial number of followers".

 

"Mate", said Cappy, "The Rainbow Serpent rules in Australia. We acknowledge him on every occasion, even at the opening of a dunny door".

 

"O.K.", said Xi. "You've convinced me this guy is some major powerbloker. I gotta meet him, and soon. He sounds like my kinda guy, and we sure could use someone who has a following like that".

 

"Geez, I dunno", said Cappy, looking perplexed, now. "This Rainbow Serpent guy is seen in public about as often as Kim Jong-un, and he's.........

Edited January 5, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"Geez, I dunno", said Cappy, looking perplexed, now. "This Rainbow Serpent guy is seen in public about as often as Kim Jong-un, and he's.........

.......... a bit toey about being seen with a pleb like you, mate. Plus he is busy running Turbine Industries and all of their affiliates."

 

"Geeeezzzzz" said Xi "Is it fair dinkum that bloke, because he is a big ..............

[turboplanner]

....infruence around the world, and now that we've beaten Trump, I was looking forward to some aduration for ....

Edited January 5, 2021 by turboplanner

[Captain]

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....infruence around the world, and now that we've beaten Trump, I was looking forward to some aduration for ....

......... the great Fearless Leader Turbo, who makes Confucius look like a bit of a d........ 

 

Postscript - I have just received an email from the Chinese embassy which says "IF YOU CONTINUE TO CALL TURBS "TINKY-WANK", WE MAKE YOU GO TO UIGHUR REEDUMACATION CAMP", so Xi is obviously on side with an alliance with Tink.

Edited January 6, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......dummy, which was a concern for Zi because the book Confucious for Dummys (Turbine Publishing) was streaking towards the lead in this year's Literary awards and it was being said that .........

[Captain]

32 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......dummy, which was a concern for Zi because the book Confucious for Dummys (Turbine Publishing) was streaking towards the lead in this year's Literary awards and it was being said that .........

......... TP had National Geographic, Fox News, the BBC, ABC and the United Nations in their sights for takeover or merger.

 

As is evident from the above, Zi had changed his name to ensure that The Wank couldn't ........

Edited January 6, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

3 hours ago, Captain said:

As is evident from the above, Zi had changed his name to ensure that The Wank couldn't ........

.......... go the same way as Robert Maxwell.

 

"We will keep him away flom big boats, which are the natural enemy of tycoons)" said Zi, while having dinner in Wagga with the Captain (we actually went undercover at the Gumly Caltex Roadhouse where Zi/Xi (NTTIAWWT) wore a blue singlet and swore like a truckie, ("Bleaker bleaker good budgie" he was heard to say, and "All Freightliners are crap") so nobody tumbled (avref) to who he was ......... and even the 400 unsmiling Chinese security dudes stationed outside didn't give it away.

 

Near the end of his Bangers and Mash 3 snags Special, Zi popped the big question about Tubb and asked "Is Turbo really as big a  .......

Edited January 6, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

...n aXXhole as has been regularly leported? The word is out, that he won't stand for any clompetition, and wants to take over every business that stands in his way?!"

 

"Oh yes," said The Rat. "He's the biggest aXXhole since Trump, and he's got plans to run for President of the USA, too!"

 

"The only thing that's stopping him is......

Edited January 6, 2021 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

........his hangers onm Captain and OneTrack. While he is immaculately dressed in public, never swears, and is respective to women, the other two dress like bums, continually spit and ....................

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........his hangers onm Captain and OneTrack. While he is immaculately dressed in public, never swears, and is respective to women, the other two dress like bums, continually spit and ....................

...... they keep encouraging Turbs to run as his mind isn't too much worse than Bidens.

 

Turbo jogged to a hastily organised podium, looking like Cliff Young without the raincoat, drew himself up to his full height and commenced to ........

[onetrack]

.....harangue the assembled crowd to pursue a major search for all the lost and ignored votes for Turbo in the U.S. Presidential election just gone.

 

"There were millions of votes cast for me!, he cried. "It's your democratic duty to go find them! People love me, as a top-flight businessman with my business operations touching everyone in every corner of the globe - and with the number of friends I've got in high places, I should be President by now!

This election of Biden is a fraud, the vote counters threw out all my votes! I know that for sure, because I can produce rubbish bins full of votes for me, that were obviously discarded as having no value, simply because I'm an Australian businessman! This is outrageous! I could turn America around, overnight!!"

 

"Touching everyone is about right," muttered Onetrack. "I've been touched up by some con-artists, but Turbo takes the cake for......

[turboplanner]

.....but he didn’t get to continue because every fruit loop in the United States had descended on the Capitol building and were all talking at once while manipulating their IPhones and grabbing any stray ......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....but he didn’t get to continue because every fruit loop in the United States had descended on the Capitol building and were all talking at once while manipulating their IPhones and grabbing any stray ......

...... cat that they could.

 

Turbo was, however, perplexed as the Democrats had been in touch about him taking over from Joe once Camella was sidelined ..... and at almost the same hour, Chris Bowen had given Tubb a call to see if he would replace Albo ..... which would probably be an easier gig as Tubb speaks with the same Albo dynamism.

 

"What shall I do" thought Turbo "Be in charge of the south Pacific peso or run the world's biggest pile of debt?"

 

He couldn't make up his mind until Salty and Planey came to him as an AUF based delegation to request that he ........

 

 

CRITICAL UPDATE - bull is still missing in action while becoming Xi's tater king of Tassy.

Edited January 7, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

bull is still missing in action while becoming Xi's tater king of Tassy.

If any of our loyal NESers see bull, he was last seen wearing this.

 

Or he may look like this as he is prone to taking his dacks off.

Edited January 7, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

22 hours ago, Captain said:

"What shall I do" thought Turbo "Be in charge of the south Pacific peso or run the world's biggest pile of debt?"

 

He couldn't make up his mind until Salty and Planey came to him as an AUF based delegation to request that he ........

.......... vacate Wreck Flying all together, as it is clear that he is never going to catch Facty to become the top poster with the most awards.

 

Turdy listened intently to their entreaties and while he was a little sad, he maintained his usual smooth and passive demeanor .......... and after thinking what we all do in times where we are under pressure "What would onetrack do in such a situation?", Turdboy decided to ........... 

Edited January 7, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........start crapping on Cappy, the Trump of the NES, and this would provoke a reaction which would distract everyone from the main NES storyline which was..................

 

 

[Turbo has noticed that Cappy's avatar has been changed to Mickey Mouse carrying an umbrella; this is unlikely to have been done by egocentric Cappy, but more likely by Moderator 6, who is female nd a former security guard and very vindictive. She flies a Flying Flea just to be different.]

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...........start crapping on Cappy, the Trump of the NES, and this would provoke a reaction which would distract everyone from the main NES storyline which was..................

............ all part of Cappy's plan to pick up a good little earner from his "Make AUF Great Again" caps and other lines of merchandise.

 

And just like that, the very catchy MAUFGA name became synonymous with bravery and was known throughout the land, even in WA, and the caps were seen to be a public endorsement of The Skipper and his entourage.

 

Particularly popular in the merchandise store were the range of condoms, which said MAUFGA in raised letters when the packets were opened, and MAKE the AUF GREAT AGAIN, as Moderator 6 found to her delight .... when ...........

 

 

Edited January 8, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....one became caught in .......................

 

[onetrack]

....her washing machine agitator, which stretched the condom so much it read, "MAAAAAKE THEEEEE AAAAUUUUFF GGGGRRRRREAT AAAAAGGGAIN", which she read as "Maaate, Three August Nights Are Here Again" - because she wasn't wearing her glasses.

As a Neil Diamond fan, she was suddenly both excited and overwhelmed by the memory of Hot August Nights with her lovers, and memories of Neil Diamond concerts, where she got her........

Edited January 8, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

4 hours ago, onetrack said:

As a Neil Diamond fan, she was suddenly both excited and overwhelmed by the memory of Hot August Nights with her lovers, and memories of Neil Diamond concerts, where she got her........

.......... gig Moderating Wreck Flying, the premier aviation website worldwide, with the most proficient and elegant group of Forum Members ever seen since  Jean-François Pilâtre de Rozier (or Jimmy to his mates) went for his pilot's licence and his vital CAE in 1783.

 

Moderator 6 was subsequently well known within WF and elsewhere as a Neil Diamond groupie and she subsequently used "Red Red Wine" as an example of Aussie Bottle-to-Throttle limits, "I think it's going to rain today" for her "Get-home-itis" human fuctors lecture, "Girl You'll be a Woman Soon" for her Sexual Harassment OH&S lectures and "Cherry Cherry" for the time that Salty took her ............ 

Edited January 9, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

Jean-François Pilâtre de Rozier Planner

looks very similar to a popular member

of this forum & has the same hairdo.

[turboplanner]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

Jean-François Pilâtre de Rozier Planner

looks very similar to a popular member

of this forum & has the same hairdo.

It's not a good likeness.

 

[turboplanner]

....knickers and ran them up the Primary School Flagpole.

There had been an emergency roll call and all the children were made to stand in front of the flagpole.

This enraged the Headmaster even more because it took a good five minutes for the kids to stop falling about with laughter, and many offers were made to repeat the act.

It was made even worse when five Grade VII boys stepped forward and formally salute, then a Grade V realised what was happening, stepped forward and smartly saluted the flag, just as the School Council Chairman drove in for his weekly meeting and recognised.......