The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

....the teenage Turbo as one of the main instigators of the false roll call - and he requested that Turbo attend the Headmasters office forthwith.

 

Turbo was appalled, apprehensive, anxious, agitated, alarmed and astounded, at the sudden and inexplicable turn of events.

 

The Chairman rarely visited - and what was he doing here, right at this moment? It could only mean that trouble was in store for the school - not just the teenage Turboy - and he'd have to think fast to.....

[turboplanner]

.....escape this one; and he explained that he had been doing extra homework, and was six pages ahead of the lessons in the history book, and had noticed that Bastille Day was  approaching (The Chairman had a young French wife called Lisette) and he wanted to put up a French flag, but coming from a poor sheep grazing family the only material he could find was a pair of knickers his elderly aunt had thrown out.

To make sure the flag could be raised on Bastille Day, he had simply run the knickers up to test the securing ropes and was about to paint them in the Tricolor colours.

The Chairman was overcome ........

[bull]

On 30/12/2020 at 7:23 AM, Captain said:

...... uncomfortable (NTTIAWWTE) because he liked Eeeeeeean a lot, even though a previous ban or 2 had clipped Tubb's wings (avref) & eroded his normally cocky & obnoxious (Turboref) self-confidence for a while, however to have to ........

 

NOTE - The Skipper (not Shipper as the bloody edit time limit failed to allow The Shipper to correct in an above post), has had to post to himself after all of the other NESers had buggered off for Xmas/New Year or were hiding from the new strains of WA strain of Covid which can be transmitted through close forum contact & exposure to 5G (avref).

 

And where the F is bull?

 

THINK FORUM SAFETY. WEAR A MASK WHEN YOU TYPE.

 

 

Bull unreservedly apologises for his absence, some out of forum stuff has taken my attention.    And every effort will be made to rejoin the awesome story of the NES and the rat who has turned into mickey mouse [WTF]and the frivolous life and times of sir Turdo,,,bugger i always seem to get those last to letters mixed up [sorry Turbo]

[bull]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....escape this one; and he explained that he had been doing extra homework, and was six pages ahead of the lessons in the history book, and had noticed that Bastille Day was  approaching (The Chairman had a young French wife called Lisette) and he wanted to put up a French flag, but coming from a poor sheep grazing family the only material he could find was a pair of knickers his elderly aunt had thrown out.

To make sure the flag could be raised on Bastille Day, he had simply run the knickers up to test the securing ropes and was about to paint them in the Tricolor colours.

The Chairman was overcome ........

With arousal and lunged at the ..................

[turboplanner]

..........flag which having been raised, and although colourless, was now a part of La Belle France.

Just then Nicolette charged into the shoolyard in her Peugot.

 

Turbo knew what an Ace was and rushed over to her, quickly telling her about La Belle France, and seeing her husband about to lunge again yelled "Refaites-le et je vous couperai les couilles."

Not wishing to lose his couilles, the Chairman quickly departed the school, forgetting about his meeting.

 

Lisette moved, undulated really, towards Turbo and........................

 

[bull]

was also overcome with arousal and a zip could be heard slowly being undone as she moved in real close to the chairman,,,,,Hmmm said he this is..........

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....escape this one; and he explained that he had been doing extra homework, and was six pages ahead of the lessons in the history book, and had noticed that Bastille Day was  approaching (The Chairman had a young French wife called Lisette) and he wanted to put up a French flag, but coming from a poor sheep grazing family the only material he could find was a pair of knickers his elderly aunt had thrown out.

To make sure the flag could be raised on Bastille Day, he had simply run the knickers up to test the securing ropes and was about to paint them in the Tricolor colours.

The Chairman was overcome ........

With arousal and lunged at the ..................

[Captain]

AN ASIDE ......... Welcome back bull.

 

For the past fortnight I have been holding onto a message for you from Xi/Zi. He wants you to call him and asks "Where are the taters?" (土豆呢?). Please call his private number when you have a chance. (请拨打他的私人号码， 当你可以.)

[Captain]

11 hours ago, bull said:

was also overcome with arousal and a zip could be heard slowly being undone as she moved in real close to the chairman,,,,,Hmmm said he this is..........

......... "better than doing a few circuits on a high cross-wind day".

 

Everyone knows what crossed controls can do to a lad's or lassie's libido and with the talk of crosswind landings, the zip came under considerable pressure from within and .........

Edited January 9, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....it jammed. This is a common problem with Chinese-made zips, and one of the reasons one needs to steer clear of them, to save oneself from extreme embarrassment.

 

"Oh God, no!", whispered Turbo. "Don't tell me - you failed to check if the zips were YKK when you bought that item?!"

 

"I can't get it undone!" cried Lisette. "I know how to fix it!", said Turbo, dropping to his knees, and fumbling with the zip. But despite his consummate zipper skills, Turbo was unable to get the zip to move.

 

"It's utterly and completely jammed!" cried Turbo. "It can't be moved without totally destroying the entire zipper!" 

 

"Oh, NO!!", cried Lisette in despair. "This now means I'll have to buy another suitcase! I can't believe this! I have to throw away a perfectly good suitcase, simply because one zipper has jammed!"

 

"We've all been there and done that", said Turbo soothingly. "However, if you like, I can offer my services to........

Edited January 10, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

5 hours ago, onetrack said:

 

"Oh God, no!", whispered Turbo. "Don't tell me - you failed to check if the zips were YKK when you bought that item?!"

"Oh no. Please done tell that the YKK bug is back again, 21 years after the last one." Said Eeeeeaaann with extreme aggravation "As I have get special servers and stuff to keep the forum going. That YKK bug can be very bad as your computers lock up and just at the same time, your fly bursts open and the little bird can fall out of its nest".

 

"Baby Eagle more like it" said a boastful Turbo.

[Captain]

5 hours ago, onetrack said:

We've all been there and done that", said Turbo soothingly. "However, if you like, I can offer my services to........

..... ease your pain.

 

"Boo Hoo" said Lisette offering him, in return, her .......

Edited January 10, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........Lap top.

Turbo checked her disk and found a problem.

He knew Cappy wouldn't be able to help her because he only had a floppy, and ...........

Edited January 11, 2021 by turboplanner

[Captain]

31 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........Lap top.

Turbo checked her disk and found a problem.

He knew Cappy wouldn't be able to help her because he only had a floppy, and ...........

...... if he gets the gig, it hurts.

 

But then again, he has plenty to ram .........

[turboplanner]

.........[Turbo prefaces this reponse by advising that RAM stand for Random-Access Memory] about, although a lot more memory than random access; as we can see he is a Mickey Mouse rat these days, unable to .........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........[Turbo prefaces this reponse by advising that RAM stand for Random-Access Memory] about, although a lot more memory than random access; as we can see he is a Mickey Mouse rat these days, unable to .........

....... get at Minnie, unable to fly (avref) and stuck in the sad world of the devout NESer, checking the forum each morning and walking out of business meetings to check his tablet each time an emailed notification comes thru from WF & Eeeeeeean.

 

It is a truely pathetic existence, particularly when he (or she) knows the groundbreaking activities of bull, onesie, planey, Salty & Turdy, who are all contributing to the national accounts with worthwhile projects that are ......

[onetrack]

......leading the nation out of it's COVID-19 torpor and navel-gazing. Bull, for example is currently moving ahead with a project that will advance Tasmanian aviation in leaps and bounds - he's patented a "kangaroo undercarriage" for his newest aircraft design, to enable it to hop over obstructions or drains that suddenly appear on the airstrip. This invention came about right after Bulls last aviation adventure, where he ripped the undercarriage off.

Turbo, meantime, has developed a new sniffer process for detecting COVID-19 germs on aircraft. This came about after constant references to the size of Turbo's nose and how he can smell like a bloodhound. In fact, Turbo reckons he can smell COVID-19 infected individuals from 2M away, and this ability has led to him avoiding quite a number of people he suspected of being carriers of the dreaded virus.

Onetrack, meanwhile, is using his enforced quarantine time to find more constructive use of personal time whilst confined. This will help the numerous WF contributors who have suffered from time-use problems during their regular confinements for indulging in devious behaviours. Not the least amongst them is the Captain, who has served serious amounts of confinement time in..........

 

(DEAR NES READERS - We all note that the Captain has once again morphed from Mickey Mouse, into yet another fantasy figure, the Young Jedi. It is truly alarming that the Captain is obsessed with impersonating these fantasy figures, and we can only gather that he lives in a fantasy land, along with Donald Trump......)

 

Edited January 12, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

........... and how he can smell like a bloodhound.

 

This is particularly noticeable when Turbo's hair gets wet, or even when he is dry but has not been washed for a few weeks.

Edited January 12, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

Onetrack, meanwhile, is using his enforced quarantine time to find more constructive use of personal time whilst confined. This will help the numerous WF contributors who have suffered from time-use problems during their regular confinements for indulging in devious behaviours. Not the least amongst them is the Captain, who has served serious amounts of confinement time in..........

......... various accommodations over the years, from the Embassy compound in Beijing to a Chateau on the Austrian border, when various ladies (NTTIAWWT) have decided to make use of your delightful (& delighted) Skipper, resulting in him going missing for 4 or 5 days each time, and the Captain's mates thinking he had been kidnapped by Mossad. On each of these many occasions, all it needed was a skin graft to make Cappy as good as new, plus the need for a quarantine for a few weeks to see if ............. 

 

 

 

Edited January 12, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

......he was disease-free, and if he could still keep a good grip on his wand. For the Captain was well known for his strong and constant grip on his wand - which wand he pulled out and waved about, on a regular basis, at the most inappropriate times, thereby causing great consternation amongst the ladies, who all thought he was going to.........

 

 

Edited January 12, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, onetrack said:

......he was disease-free, and if he could still keep a good grip on his wand. For the Captain was well known for his strong and constant grip on his wand - which wand he pulled out and waved about, on a regular basis, at the most inappropriate times, thereby causing great consternation amongst the ladies, who all thought he was going to.........

 

 

.......... condemn them to a life of exquisite pleasure, but instead he rode off into the night, like Clint Eastwood in the "Joe Kidd" movie, where he ...............

 

 

ART IMITATING LIFE, WHEN CLINT BASED HIS CHARACTER ON THE LIFE

AND TIMES OF THE SKIPPER, AND CAPPY WAS RETAINED AS A

CONSULTANT TO ENSURE REALISM. As can be seen, The Skipper is a 

sucker for a delicious brunette and a good machine pistol.

Edited January 12, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........tripped on a gopher hole as he was mounting his horse and.....

[Captain]

....... this resulted in the RSPCA bringing charges for an unnatural ........

[onetrack]

....approach to a horse. "But, I was only trying to mount it!", cried Turbo, as he was being questioned over the incident.

 

"Yes, that's exactly why we're here", said the investigator, who was a relative of Const Doubtfire, and who was trained to deal with the more deviant types of criminals.

 

She went on, "We've heard some disturbing reports coming from your neck of the woods, and your family assocations, and we need to get to.....

[Captain]

39 minutes ago, onetrack said:

...... She went on, "We've heard some disturbing reports coming from your neck of the woods, and your family associations, and we need to get to.....

........ be assured that all of the animals in the Moorabbin petting zoo are safe. In addition, we understand from bull (our part time undercover RSPCA operative) that onesie loves quokkas, which is highly illegal, even in the lower standards used in WA."

 

"Oh my" exclaimed Eeeeeen "The NES may be a animal lover's "ring". But I thought these guys normally operate on the dark web and not so much on this beige coloured .............

 

 

ONE OF THE INCRIMINATING IMAGES TAKEN FROM ONETRACK'S

COMPUTER BY OTHER UNDERCOVER RSPCA CHAPS AND CHAPETTES.

ON FURTHER INVESTIGATION, THIS QUOKKA WAS FOUND TO BE

UNDER AGE TOO.

Edited January 13, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........fline site.

Not many people know that most of the CASA dcuments are processed on the dark web. We can't tell you why, because the brotherhood is strong and anyone breaking the bonds of secrecy is retributed, or even worse ..................