The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

"....style encounter, but I don't want you wimping it again like that pathetic display on the shearing board. No running away this time: she said ominously, and Cappy began to wonder if it would have been smarter to let OT make his inevitable OneLine move, or even put a call through to Salty who was always good for a .................

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

to let OT make his inevitable OneLine move, or even put a call through to Salty who was always good for a .................

.......... quickie down on the banks of the dam (Salty constantly carries a 1960's vintage Struggle Rug in the baggage compartment of his .......

Edited February 4, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......1962 Kombi with whitewall tyres, and sticker on the rear window saying "JESUS LIVES"

However Salty was shacked up on the side of the Murray, the wheels were off the Kombi and it was sitting on redgum stumps. Salty would explain to overnighters that it was because of his bad back, but the caravan park owner had the wheels locked in his shed and Salty wasn't going anywhere until he paid the overdue ..........

[Captain]

........ money that he owed to the receptionist, who adores flyboys (and flygirls NTTIAFWWT) and who offers services that are additional to just charging for a powered drive-thru site.

 

"Do you have Turbo's mobile number?" she asked "As he has been here and availed himself of a couple of my Special Deals before he flew off again into the wild-blue-yonder (avref)".

 

The Receptionist and Jessica were both ignoring The Twig, (who they consider to be lacking in substance when compared with Turbs, plus he is a bit too showy for a ranga) and they were pining for Turdboy ........ so Salty, ever the gentleman & Kombi driver, could see that it was very apparent that ..........

Edited February 4, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........he was never going to get out of this van park unless he could bring in Turbo to create a distraction.

The problem was no one knew Turbo's mobile number, including Turbo who had bought a new iPhone 12 and stuffed up the loading procedure, so these days he just used it for a camera.

Cappy who had provoked China by naming his Spratley Island "Guineabissau", was very busy preparing to repel and expected attack, but kindly offered to stand in for Turbo and go to Remnark itself. However, as we know, Cappy could be uncouth and very basic in mixed company, and Salty wasn't sure it would be safe if Cappy came out with the usual ..................

[onetrack]

......drunken coarseness and verbal drivel, after he'd been on the Gin for 6 hrs straight. What really put the cat amongst the pigeons though, was when a fully-boozed up Cappy started raving on about, "Bloody Chinks! - who do they think they are? They think they have enough power and money, to try and rule the world! Let's take 'em on!!"

 

This last statement not only greatly upset Twiggy, who is totally reliant on the Chinks ... errr, Chinese, for all his massive wealth - but he also had numerous Chinese friends in the business community, who were becoming alarmed at Cappys dangerous rants.

 

Not only was Cappys holiday Island in increasing danger of being overrun by the Chinese Navy, backed by a horde of PLA commandos, with his drunken, racist, anti-Chinese sentiments - but he was placing himself in job jeopardy with Twiggy - as well as in severe danger of reprimand from Scott, who is doing his best to keep the Chinese ruffled feathers smoothed down.

 

"The last thing I want is a well-known heli-musterer making loud, obnoxious, and racist statements about my best friends and major finance supporters!", said Twiggy.

 

"I'll have to muffle him somehow, and I think if I move him to the most outlying station paddock that doesn't have any booze, no communications facilities, and which doesn't even have any Aboriginals, it's that far out, that this will fix the.......

 

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

However, as we know, Cappy could be uncouth and very basic in mixed company, and Salty wasn't sure it would be safe if Cappy came out with the usual ..................

................ "Do ya?" to all the ladies in Woolies and in Remnark's main street.

 

This offended Salty, who was a thorough gentleman and he asked "Why do you do that, as you must get a lot of rejections?"

 

"That's correct Brine, old mate." was Cappy's reply as he put his giant muscular arm around Salty's shoulders "But every now and then one replies in the positive, and those odds aren't too bad when you look like me."

 

Cappy took out his 1990's Blackberry to call Tink on his I12 and ......

[Captain]

Ratty & Onesie have arrived at the same time, which is what Jessica and the Park Receptionist have always craved.

 

Not bad when Onesie is in Isolation so far over there towards South Africa, in his State that is being run by the WA equivalent of the SWAPO.

Edited February 5, 2021 by Captain

[bull]

supply problem.   Now Twiggy is not the sharpest pencil in the case,and the imperialistic motivation of the CCP was lost on him ,[as he still was getting over that quad bike he brought new for 20 bucks from the chinese]So the ..........                                           [

bull has missed the boat again and sincerely apologises to all and any NES members whose fingers are just that little bit quicker.]

Edited February 5, 2021 by bull

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, bull said:

supply problem.   Now Twiggy is not the sharpest pencil in the case,and the imperialistic motivation of the CCP was lost on him ,[as he still was getting over that quad bike he brought new for 20 bucks from the chinese]So the ..........

........ J. C Williams purchase was just a ...........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

........ J. C Williams purchase was just a ...........

..... a slip of the cheque book. ("What is a cheque book?" asked all the members of Wreck Flying who are under 30.)

 

"Yes" said the Twigster "I just went out to buy myself a longhorn sticker & a big fiberglass aerial for the Bentleigh and now I own the company ..... plus the J C Williamsons theatre production joint too, so bugger me this is a lot harder than raking in Iron Ore cash eh Turbo?"

 

And as a result of the above conversation Turbo started to give Twiggy a lecture on juris-prudence and how to buy various companies, just like he lectures the members on Wreck Flying on all subjects.

 

"Who is Prudence?" asked bull who was always on the lookout for ........... 

Edited February 5, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

Dear NES readers: It is very sad to notice the very apparent continuing detachment from reality of Cappy, as he makes Trump-like claims of "Ratty and Onesie arriving at the same time......"

 

It is all too obvious, to even the most casual NES reader, that Ratty has lost the plot, when anyone with even the slightest amount of vision left, can clearly see, that Onesie posted well before Ratty.

 

However, in the finest Trumpesque fashion, this fact that Onesies post is well above, and obviously prior to Rattys post, appears to now be described as, "arriving at the same time".

 

I would merely wish to add, that if posting replies to the NES, were a mid-street shootout in the Old West, Ratty would now be a highly-perforated, very dead Jedi Rat. I hereby rest my case, M'Lud.

 

 

......lighter flying partners, as the ones he has chosen in the past all appear to fit that cute, object of desire, description, "BBW". Because bull always seemed to be having trouble getting a reasonable rate of climb for the Jackeroo, and he suspected it wasn't so much of a power problem, but simply an excess weight problem. 

Naturally, he was very diplomatic in his reluctance to ask his lady friends to step on the scales before each flight, as he knew straight-up, that was really asking for trouble.

 

He thought long and hard about how to surreptitiously weigh each of these "well-built heifers", without incurring their incandescent rage over any suggestion or mention that involved "weight".

Finally, he concluded, there was only one way to fix the problem, and that was........

[turboplanner]

........more power for the jackeroo; that way he could keep his taste for ............

[Captain]

....... the rotund ......

[bull]

Versions of the species. When as he was reviewing the latest NES postings came apon a solution,,,,,he would get ratty to muster them from now on with his old robbo that he stole from twiggy and as the jackaroo was so slow he and his entourage would arrive at the destination at the same time!!! Problem solved cried onesie, my god your good at this thinking thing Bull,can you think about how to fix the next NES elections to get rid of that .........................

[onetrack]

.....Rat with the Orange hairdo! He thinks he's won everything around here! The wimmen, the air races, the best jobs - even the race to first reply to NES posts! And when he's shown he lost, he just ignores the result! I guess that next, we'll hear him squealing about how he was cheated out of winning the NES posting race!"

 

But bull was on a roll now, as regards fixing the NES election so The Rat couldn't win. "Let me get a look at those voting machines!", he said. "I used to 'fix' the poker machines in the Wrest Point Casino, so I know all about 'fixing' results from electronic machines!"

 

"You can't do anything with the NES voting machines", said Turbo loftily. "These are Turbine Industries Voting Machines, and they're tamper proof! Furthermore, I'd suggest you tread carefully trying to exclude The Rat from the NES - he has some high-powered........

 

Edited February 5, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

....... which was the internally lighted insignia about to be lifted by Skycrane (avref) to the top of the Turbine Industries tower in Collins St.

 

"What did Collin ever do to have a street named after him" thought bull eviously "and why can't i have bull's st? After all, I have ........"

Edited February 5, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

Geeeeez Louise ..... onetrack has gazzumped Ratty again.

[Captain]

#onetracklied #rattywon 

Edited February 5, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

#rattylies #onetrackwon #proofonscreen #verifiedbyEeeaaan #rattylickswounds #jediswordprovesuseless

 

Edited February 6, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

#rattysurrenders #turbostuffsevinrudes #bullbuggerskeyboards #Saltypostsseldom #Eeeeeeeanisagoodbloke #allmoderatorsare?

Edited February 6, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....walked down the back lane in bone so many times it could be called bull walk, and given the number of ties I had to ring the bell for Mavis when I walked her home, maybe it should be called bull arcade or ..........

 

[Explanation for short term (8 years or less) NES readers: every now and then, old Ratso gets beaten so many times in a row, that he has a hissy fit. These don't last long becaise Turbo takes him out and tells him stories of the behind the scenes editing activity that had to take place in the early days of the NES; thing like what happened to Turbo in the Piliga Scrub, and how Ahlox became a fireman. The tetars start as he pines for those good old days when people gave him likes for his wit, pitiful though it was, and he dreams again of those great times.]

[Captain]

46 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[Explanation for short term (8 years or less) NES readers: every now and then, old Ratso gets beaten so many times in a row, that he has a hissy fit. These don't last long becaise Turbo takes him out and tells him stories of the behind the scenes editing activity that had to take place in the early days of the NES; thing like what happened to Turbo in the Piliga Scrub, and how Ahlox became a fireman. The tetars start as he pines for those good old days when people gave him likes for his wit, pitiful though it was, and he dreams again of those great times.]

The Jedi Rattso does indeed recall those great times as he tetars on the the edge of tears, and he does express his appreciation to his great mate Turbs for helping him through this difficult time.

 

Now Ratty is about to click on "Submit Reply" and expects to be oppressed by onetrack again.

 

Postscript - The uni-root has not posted over the top of the Skipper's tome, thank goodness, so onesie must be cleaning all of the WA the red dust and sand out of his pool again today.

Edited February 6, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

......BS Arcade, seeing as Cappy has told so many unbelievable stories whilst traversing it. Such as the one he told, where he had to fight his way out of a burning Phantom (avref) near 'Nam.

 

"It was touch and go, I tell you!" he would relate over and over again, to anyone he could buttonhole, after he'd polished off a full bottle of Bombay Sapphire. "If I hadn't had the foresight to bring along that fireaxe, I'd have been a goner for sure!"

 

"But", Mavis said, "If you flew a Phantom in 'Nam, that would make you nearly 80 yrs old now, and you don't look a day over 50!"

 

"Oh, I'm not talking about getting out of Phantom fighters over Vietnam!", said Cappy, looking shocked. "I was talking about how we had this big Comic Characters Parade near Pakenham back in '78, and I was in a giant Phantom character outfit on stilts - and someone set fire to it, while I was in it! I had to get out of that outfit fast, it was quite dangerous!"

 

"Oh, that's different to what I was thinking of", said Mavis. "As you're always claiming to be a pilot, and telling lots of War stories, I thought you were talking about your Vietnam War experiences!"

 

"Aahhh! - now, while we're on the subject of War stories!", said Cappy - "did I tell you about the time I........

 

Edited February 6, 2021 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

"......was in China and we built an airport [avref]?"

"What date was that?" asked Mavis warily

"It was a Tuesday" replied Cappy in his usual evasive manner "and we had just ................."