turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Prenatal, but I see he is modifying so watch out for a bang!
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 = "Typical LAME" said some unkind soul ... and it sounded like Lional the Level 2. "Some of them don't even ............... "....have To-Moh-Orks, they just use their teeth, which gives a very rough crew cut" , said General Cont....
Captain Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 .... a very rough crew.... "Just then Terry Teledyne piped up 'If you think THEY are a rough crew, you should see this mob in the NES." "We know" chipped in Perry Pratt and Wesley Whitney "And they'll all be on display at the Rec Flying Tent at Narromine." "With the possible exception of Grande(VX)Pierre, who may still not attend and who is the only chance we have to bring class and good looks back to the fore." 'I'm hitching up to Narromine" said Nanna "And I'm hitching up my cottontails too. I can't wait to get a hot cross bun into the oven, and then I'll .............."
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 'I'm hitching up to Narromine" said Nanna "And I'm hitching up my cottontails too. I can't wait to get a hot cross bun into the oven, and then I'll .............." "...take me teeth out to the rust busting drum of Molasses acid, get some pink lipstick, paint me toenails, and go back for a grab of Ian's buns..."
Captain Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "...take me teeth out to the rust busting drum of Molasses acid, get some pink lipstick, paint me toenails, and go back for a grab of Ian's buns..." "However I have had a change of thinking" said Nanna while striking a deep & meaningful pose "For with Ian pulling out, and Slartibuttcrack stepping up into the top job, I think I'll concentrate on him at Narromine and show him just what can be achieved in the cockpit of a Cheetah with that woollen puppet thing that he has in there. The possibilities are endless .....and between us girls, I reckon that he amuses himself (yes .... & I did say "amuses") with that when he gets bored on long flights." 'Ive even seen him .................... :devil::pig::clown:
slartibartfast Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "It's my puppet and I'll wash it as fast as I want to" said slartihalfamindtobaneveryonefast.
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 'Ive even seen him ..... ".... polishing his rudder, while no one was looking....."
Captain Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "It's my puppet and I'll wash it as fast as I want to" said slartihalfamindtobaneveryonefast. "It's the ability to accept crticism, that is the mark of great men" said Turbo "But that greatness is somewhat diminished thru the abuse of hand puppets and goats" he added, so Slartibartsimpson is about back level with the rest of us on the esteem-o-metre." Then he added "We have to all find some Common Ground in order to give this Time to Heal, because we have done this One Too Many Times, In the Rain, so Bring on the Change and lets go Home". "That is just a shameless promotion of tracks from Midafternoon Sump Oil's 1996 album "Breathe"" said the Cappo, who complained to Slartihisverybestmoderatorfriend "And if that doesn't prove that Turbo is Peter Garrett, and that he should be banned for blatant commercial advertising, I don't know what will. Next thing he'll pretend to knock off 3 email addresses" added le Crepe. "Yes, ban him" chorused .............. My Aunty dances a bit like Turbo Garrett .... near the desert oak ... in the garden PS ..... Has anyone heard from McAhslowvacuum, as he is quiet and may have surccumed to the Use By 12 noon on April 1st plonk
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "Yes, ban him" chorused ........ ..the eight pairs of Waggas which had bred up as a result of record summer temperatures. The City had kept this quiet with almost the same tenacity as they'd tried to quieten down the repentant footbal player - the only one they could ever produce. The truth was a lot more terrifying. In the 19th Century when the aviators of the day were still plucking the tail feathers out of seagulls and deducing that it was lice which made them fly, the squatters (ancestors of today's Farmers Federation) were grabbing each others land and women further and further towards the west. Finally they came on an area with sweet water, beautiful climate, and wonderful pastures (they were idiots). The local Chief, Geronimo Turbocharger (it's true, I was named after him) told them to p*ss off, but not in so many words. Noting, after they had shot sixteen of his men that they were reluctant to do so, he said "Come over to this water hole and I'll tell you why no European should live here" Curious, Captain Crap (whose great great grandson still retains part of the name) played along and said "Why Not?" Now the aboriginals of that time had no plurals, because they hadn't needed them - there wasn't much food, there wasn't much housing and there was no money It make sense really; if someone brought back two roos instead of one, you ddn't need to count them to know it was going to be wild in town tonight. So all Geronimo could say was Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga on, and on. Crap thought it was a bit much when it had gone on for several hours and cut the discussion short by saying: "All right, I get the picture, you don't have to nag, we'll call the place Wagga Wagga in deference to your stutter, but this looks like the place for a village and a gordforsaken airstrip with RPT's hanging out of every tree. Geronimo said to his son Twin Turbo, who had wasted no time cross breeding "Take your son and go to South Australia (which hadn't been named then but this man had foresight) because you know what's about to happen." It was Twin Turbo who warned Captain Little Crap what was going to happen. "You've heard of Dirk Hartog, the Mahogany Ship, and the Marie Celeste" he said "well those guys all came here to live, but after a hot summer the Waggas swarm like locusts.....and they are scrotum eaters! ..... they take human form! Little Crap told his father and they decided to say nothing, but sprayed every year. However memories fade and one year someone forgot to spray. The eventually came the hot summer of 2009 and Wagga Wagga was about to become infamous in world history as the 8 Waggas, who had used the ruse of regrouping a very old and seedy pop group started to breed.......
Captain Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 This is very serious as Tubb has stepped over the line ............. So .......... in one post that rivals one the TOSG's tomes in length, (and content), Le Tubbo has succeeded in insulting: Le Crapp Steve B (be worried) The Mayor of WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Our indigenous cousins. Ben Cousins. Gironimo. The bloke that owns Garrett Turbochargers Our Forefathers. Their three mothers. Barak Obama. The drummer of Midafternoon Sump Oil. The girl that lives in #207 Tarcutta St. Wayne Clarey. Julian Carey. The Griffith Family. BigPete HidyHody All of the fireys that are playing poker down at the station, with their hoses hanging out to dry. Anyone who has ever had a rivet. Any woman that has ever been rivetted. The Turbo Twins. The Speach Impediment Association of OZ (Whose motto is "A Stutter is not a problem, it is an opportunity to change words mid st ...... st ...... st......utter"). The Far ..... farrr .... Farmer's Fed .. errrrr ... ation. All considerate and reasonable forum members. CONCLUSION 1 - Two week ban needed there, eh SlartiHotPants? CONCLUSION 2 - All of the above have never been so insulted.
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "Right", thought Geronimo Garret Turbo, "that's Wagga", and you'll note Le Crappe was able to refer to all the supporters by name (not realising that Kevin Rudd was our Prime Minister, not Barack Obama), "now the world" and he settled back trying to complete a 300 page scan which, due to giggles and the need to think faster than Le Crappe had already been broken up into 7 segments all needing editing and additional scans.....
Captain Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "So" said Larry the lame Lycoming LAME "After shooting the breeze with 30 (count 'em) lines, Peter Planter comes back with a woosie 3.5 lines. He must either have a speech to give this arvo or there is a concert on tonight." Or is he perhaps afraid of Steve B :star::star::star::star:, who might pick his lock and clean his clock (or maybe wind it)? :yuk::yuk::yuk: "No he has a ..................... The Aunt is incensed and insulted by Peter G, where she is in tears in the corner of the garden :broken_heart:
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 He must either have a speech to give this arvo or there is a concert on tonight." Or is he perhaps afraid of Steve B :star::star::star::star:, who might pick his lock and clean his clock (or maybe wind it)? :yuk::yuk::yuk: "No he has a ..................... The Aunt is incensed and insulted by Peter G, where she is in tears in the corner of the garden :broken_heart: Being the consumate politician that he is, Peter G addresses the issues one at a time, because people are usually bored after the first point. "Before I say that, let me say this, my Government (I thought we owned it) led by Basher Rude cannot be held responsible for every Tom, Dick, or Crepe spraying false accusations about our secret intentionas, so he's not getting the five hundred dollar bonus (sounds of clapping as taxpeyers in the audience recognise the government is saving their money) "Secondly, not a speech or concert, but more fun, I'm off with the big end of town making them the opposite promises I made when I was a tree hugger. "Thirdly, I know for a fact Steven B will remain outside any locked gate, so I had a lot of cardboard locks made up when I was in China with the big end of town, got a 10% discount for 50,000. "I'm not sure what number comes after thirdly, none of our songs went more than three verses, but thirdly and a bit, I can categorically state that I certainly do not. "Finally (how's that for getting out of counting), this Aunt in the garden thing has gone on too long. If she has a garden then she's obviously one of the Obscene Rich earning more than $20,000 per year so we're going to introduce an Aunt in the Garden Tax, and we expect to bring in another $Trillion per year which we will spend on travel for President (Sorry, get it wrong sometimes, heh,heh) Prime Mutterer Rude.....
Captain Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "Finally (how's that for getting out of counting), this Aunt in the garden thing has gone on too long. If she has a garden then she's obviously one of the Obscene Rich earning more than $20,000 per year so we're going to introduce an Aunt in the Garden Tax, and we expect to bring in another $Trillion per year which we will spend on travel for President (Sorry, get it wrong sometimes, heh,heh) Prime Mutterer Rude..... "WHERE'S MY VEGETARIAN TUCKER" asked Kev, using his big brave voice. "I'm sorry" sobbed the flight attendant (aviation term) as she teared up "But there ain't none, you blonde headed mealy mouthed little clock winder, as it would have pushed our C of G back behind the limit specified in Table 4 of Subsection 3 of the Aircraft Flight Manual as per the attached calculations and completed graphical representation of the issue" (a plethora of aviation terms). "Well get some next time, as I need to eat when I go to Brizzy to get my wife a Prezzy while I am very Busy on the Carzzy, or I'll have you transferred to the Riverland." "Oh no" she exclaimed 'That means I'll be ............... My Aunt can stay in the garden, because Planey hasn't used the pen to say that is unacceptable yet
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "Oh no" she exclaimed 'That means I'll be ............... ...subjected to squizzies by those crazies who write the storiez (sorry) about the Aunties, who put the squeezies on the snoozers, who are just a bunch of boozers" "I'd much prefer you Kev" she said remembering she'd seen an ad for vegetarian dog food, and there may be another way to solve this.....
Captain Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 ...subjected to squizzies by those crazies who write the storiez (sorry) about the Aunties, who put the squeezies on the snoozers, who are just a bunch of boozers" "I'd much prefer you Kev" she said remembering she'd seen an ad for vegetarian dog food, and there may be another way to solve this..... ..... by waiting for McJock-Locks to re-enter the fray and sow his seeds of wisdom. "He's not gunna sow his seeds around me, and there'll be no "re-entry"" replied Fray "However I'm pretty sure that the Skipper is a bit disappointed that Peter "Turbo" Garrett keeps changing his posts after the Skipp has worked his freckle off thinking up a bit of reparte, mon cheri". "Yep" said Skip "There could be trouble in the tent at Narromine with the Cappo decking the Tubbo and the Slarto being required to be the Reffo .......... a bit like Jimmy Sharman's boxing tent, with McUndies-Locks beating the drum while Le Crapp beats up Le Tuber." "I'm a rough tough Speedway type" replied Tubb "And I'll ........... My Aunt is very worried about McUndies and is concerned that he may have had his helmet ripped off, out in the garden. "Where the #*$% is he?" she pyned.
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "I'm a rough tough Speedway type" replied Tubb "And I'll ......... "....take yer kneecaps off with one flick of the steering wheel, making sure I'm in the Chief Steward's blind spot" he said thinking fondly back to old times when you could sort problems out in much simpler ways. "With all these nubile young girls travelling to Narrowmind for a feel of Ian's buns, the tent's going to be a bit squeezy, and when they realise their mistake they're going to eat the hot cross buns, and having learnt a thing or two at the B&S pre-party, will start to eat the buns, so Ian, having provided the loaves, is now going to have to work out how to produce little fishes or the conversation is going to get right of aviation matters." Tub didn't have his heart in the fight because he knew in his heart that Ce Crappe really was the BS king....
Captain Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "....Tub didn't have his heart in the fight because he knew in his heart that Ce Crappe really was the BS king.... A FRIENDLY ASIDE - Take your time Tubb, as PPPPPPPP (perfect planning prevents pathetic prose & p*ss poor posting). Tee Hee Or KISYD - Keep It Simple You D*ckhead. Hee Tee Oh where, oh where is McJocks, to pick up the fight. One down and one to go ... to make it flow. Hey Tubb ... are you going to make it up to Narrowmind, after all?
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Avlovaks was severely traumatised in a discussion about the legals of breaking through an airport gate to reach an aircraft on fire. While at times the law prevents this, and in most cases that's reasonable, this was a Jabiru, and they must be preserved at all costs (although it now appears that Av may have been taking the "let it burn" side in a partisan display) It may be that the missus locked the gate while he was out, and he's been sitting patiently in the car waiting for it to be unlocked, as the law requires, not realising his Captain needs him to defend Wiga Waga.....
Captain Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Avlovaks was severely traumatised in a discussion about the legals of breaking through an airport gate to reach an aircraft on fire...... "McJocks was also a bit worried about whether he was given his full quota of rivets when he bought his aircraft and has got up to 6,800 a few times (when counting rivets and when winding his clock) but has been distracted by all the J's around here who are flying daily and enjoying themselves." said the Airport Manager "He gets up around the high 6000's and then mumbles something about Section 25, twitches, curses and starts again." "There is only one hope for him" said his wife "And that's ...............
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 "There is only one hope for him" said his wife "And that's ............... ".....To trade in (if he can) The Cz Echo Slovakian beer barrel for a real aircraft, such as a Jabortwo the 303 version (where the put a shot strainght down the middle, replaced the 17 fuel lines with a gravity feed single line, removed the half dozen fuel gauges which with their cleverly designed differential readings (about 20 litres different to reality) has set up a force field pulling the aircraft to the left intermittantly)" This didn't help matters at all because Avlovaks, with one leg in the garden was still smarting from his trip to Yarrawonga where after intially enjoying the technical banter of the Learned Gentlemen, a local had wandered into the non ASIC airfield, walked over to the Sportster and said "It's just amazing where you can find Victa lawn mower engines today - come over here and look at this Skye!"....
Captain Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Another friendly aside. So that I will recognise you at Narrowmind, please advise, which one is you, Tubb? Teletubbies . Welcome to Teletubbyland! - PBS Kids Kind regards Le Crepe PS Just noticed that Goldie is back and has a heap of work on the NES to do to catch up .... go Locksy, go ......................
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Captain the photos you have selected do not include me, however, on be of them looks distinctly like a regular poster to the various forums who always comes in late, contradicts, and tries to get the last word. The countryside also tends to place him. However, although I will be wearing very easily identifable clothing (fabric from Bigglesworth's rebuild) here is an old photo of me from the days when I was a Bank Manager
turboplanner Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Wasn't much good as a Bank Manager - couldn't download files
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