The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

worm phase and the unusual methods they used to catch prey. This reproductive obession that Cappy has comes from his grandfather Dr Spock Cook, who felt it was a stupid name and always identified as Dr Spock. He used to take little Cappy on his rounds, and as we can see over the years of Cappy's posts, it left an unfortunate mark.

 

Meanwhile the committee were setting up the factory for production and much time had been spent on setting aside a large area for Wellbeing, with gym equipment, swimming pool, video games, Starbucks, and four psychologists, and beside that a Diversity Centre with Unisex toilets, a Unisex clothes outlet, Unisex training centre, complaints centre and large Hearing Room for complaints, which could be extended by a Marquee after corporate events like the Christmas Party, in from of that was the large OHS training facility, and in front of that was the Corporate Management Centre, with huge Board Room, swimming pool, and Relaxation Centre.

 

"Where can I build the Spits? asked Turbo.

 

"We were thinking in the small section behind the Wellbeing Centre" replied OneTrack nervously, but .......

Edited May 29, 2021 by turboplanner

[onetrack]

.....added that perhaps the noise of assembly would impact upon the wellbeing of those in the centre, and it would be better if rubber hammers and noiseless tooling was used, which would provide a more soothing environment for the assemblers as well, besides which......

Edited May 29, 2021 by onetrack

[CT9000]

May be found at the back of our new manufacturing facility. " But thats full of supercharged Morry minor sidevalve engines being made ready for aviation use"     Please note that the sidevalve engines were chosen not because they were cheap but it was considered better to have the lower compression models to be more suitable for forced induction.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, CT9000 said:

May be found at the back of our new manufacturing facility. " But thats full of supercharged Morry minor sidevalve engines being made ready for aviation use"     Please note that the sidevalve engines were chosen not because they were cheap but it was considered better to have the lower compression models to be more suitable for forced induction.

..... and the flat sidevalve heads match Turbo's ......

 

Dear CT. We (bull, OT, Turdy, Brine & I) have chipped in & donated a year's supply of ...........................'s for your exclusive use as pre & post cursors for your NES posts, and I have PM'd them to you this morning. Hope you enjoy them as much as we have.

Edited May 29, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

highly efficient turbines and boost pressures, and I in respoding to OT, "we can use cheaper labour because rubber won't dent the aluminium so badly, although........

 

 

Dear CT; check the parcel when you get it. When you see .........................think sheep.

[Captain]

...... you can almost guarantee that they will .......

[turboplanner]

........get out of tolerance [secret manufacturer business] 

“I’ve allowed for that“ replied Turbo, “we’ll sell those motors to .......

[Captain]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

[secret manufacturer business]

Respects to all manufacturers past & present. (Warning this post may contain a reference to manufacturers who have passed away).

[onetrack]

.....people with midget speedcars (because the Turbine Group has a major interest in midget speedcar manufacturing, too), because it doesn't matter if a midget speedcar motor fails spectacularly - in fact, the punters always love it, when that happens!"

 

"But spectacular engine failures in aircraft - particularly ones with our names on them, as part of the brand, is not something that works in our favour. In fact, it has a nasty tendency to reduce the number of available customers and also badly affect repeat sales", Turbo went on.

 

"Hold on", said OT. "We have a slight problem here. With the current level of expenditure on  gym equipment, swimming pool, video games, Starbucks, four psychologists, a Diversity Centre with Unisex toilets, a Unisex clothes outlet, Unisex training centre, complaints centre, the large extendable Hearing Room for complaints, the large OHS training facility, and the Corporate Management Centre - we have very little left in the Kitty for engine and airframe construction!"

 

"Don't worry about that!" said Cappy. "Take a large number of high quality photos showing the outstanding facilities, and only a couple showing aircraft in flight (avref) - then put out a big media release, right on sharemarket opening time - and the additional funds required for actual aircraft building, will just flood in from the punters with a few spare millions to invest! Just concentrate on the superb corporate premises and the management care, and soon we'll be in........

[turboplanner]

.....the money and wearing diamonds.

The float went as planned with most of the money flowing in from China. Mr Mer Su Yu who was speaking on behalf of the Central China Superannuation Fund, said “We invested $3 billion because we know the skill of the owners and we would like to see Spitfire Training Schools all over China.” Once again ........

 

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....the money and wearing diamonds.

The float went as planned with most of the money flowing in from China. Mr Mer Su Yu who was speaking on behalf of the Central China Superannuation Fund, said “We invested $3 billion because we know the skill of the owners and we would like to see Spitfire Training Schools all over China.” Once again ........

 

...... western nations fell for the Chinese thlee card tlick and western universities lushed to teach their top secret aviation (avref) flying (avref) methods using that secret stick thingy and those covert rudder pedal dodads.

 

"Hey you blokes, stone the crows, don't be a gallah, and don't come the uncooked prawn before you chuck one at Barby" said General Aug Min e Me. "Get your arXes back up here, as the NES is jumping all around the pacific rim and Burma (now known as Me-and-Ma) need to pubricity. ...... plus I'll chuck in 2 Hurricanes (the planes, not the weather formations) and a low hours YAK 130 that I use for personal transport."

 

Turbo accepted this offer immediately as he was looking for a photo of a more modern aircraft to update his well worn F16 avatar, so he ........

 

THE YAK 130 THAT WAS ON OFFER ....... and in which Ratty is current. (In this photo Ratty is taking Mavis for a loostener).

Edited May 30, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........could swap his avatar card with Jancinta, who was asking an awful lot for her Gloucester Meteor, still currently the top line defence asset for the Land of the Long White Crowd.

OT had become bored by this card - swapping and ......

[Captain]

....... proposed a novel and never before tried alternative using keys, which bull, the CT & Salty thought ......

[turboplanner]

....quite correctly would be a bad idea which might get them into trouble. Turbo told them about the time Cappy got caught up in a swap. He didn't realise that it wasn't like Musical Chairs where you could make a last minute lunge for something better. At the time he was the third Viceroy of Bombay, in charge of deciding Government contracts. What he didn't know was that a Maharaja who had spent a lot of time currying favour with Cappy had an evil side  and regularly compromised government officials in order to win contracts. On this occasion after a day of tigerhunting and boozing The Maharaja brought out a large goblet and all present threw their keys into it. From the way the Indians were looing at Cappy, he realised that he was expeceted to do the same, and after a lot of staggering and searching through pockets finally found they key to his Official Morris Minor and after a few attempts managed to drop them in the glass. There was a very rapid drawing where it wasn't clear who was getting which keys, but everyone got their own back except Cappy who landed the keys of the Maharaja's son's wife. It was pointed out with very serious looks, what Cappy was expected to do, and he was in the middle of it when the Maharaja's son, Rajah, supposedly out on a tiger hunt, burst in and appeared outraged that his loving wife had been despoiled, particularly since his wife said she was simply knitting socks when Cappy burst in, threw her down and raped her. Rajah had his men rape Cappy as they said, to see how he liked it, and then beat him within an inch of his life with baseball bats. He was rushed to hospital, and after a very long secret convalescence resumed his position as if nothing had happened. He didn't give in to the blackmail, and Turbo said this again, "He didn't give in the the Maharaja then, or at any other time; he cancelled all the Maharajah's concessions, removed all his tax concessions, and the Maharajah finished up fighting for scraps of bread with the seagulls on the muddy banks of the Ganges"; Cappy was rewarded by Lord Mountbatten with lands in England which he sold for enough money to be able to buy a palatial Motel in Wagga Wagga Australia, and a Fifth Wheeler Caravan allowing him to roam the Country free of ...................

[Captain]

..... denigration or repercussions, but also with a 75 Shades of Grey type of liking for baseball bats & handcuffs ....... although he maintains his strong denial of Turbo's crass accusations and as all of the CWA lassies know in most states and throughout SE Asia, if anything ever happened, Cappy had been the seductee (always after strong resistance).

 

With stoic modesty, The Rat never used, and still does not use, the Title that Lord Mountbatten (Mounty to his mates) awarded (think Bobby Menzies but up several levels, however who knows where this will end up for the Skipper if the "Duke of Sussex" title is stripped from Harry) and he is happy, as always, to fly (avref) under-the-radar (avref) and to just be one of the boys (NTTIAWWTBTW) .........  

Edited May 31, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

......who enjoys a good game of polo, cucumber sandwiches with Auntie Lizzy, and to just be regularly called, "that bastard with the Royal Pommy title".

 

However, in keeping with his titled image, and ensuring he used his Viceroy qualifications to the best, Cappy demanded a seat on the board of BOT-FLY (an honorary position, of course, as no titled individual must ever been seen to be doing actual work), which demand caused some consternation amongst the other board members - Turbo, bull, OT and Salty.

 

"It could be advantageous to have business links with Royalty", said OT thoughtfully. "You know, we could have an official Royal seal of Approval on the aircraft we're building - imagine what that would do for our sales?! - particularly for those who enjoy personal links with the Royal Family! Why, Cappy could even........

[turboplanner]

...wear a scarlet sash on special occasions such as Natflys.

"They pushed out the people who used to organise them" said Salty, "and now no one knows how to organise one."

An idea formed in Cappy's head.....................................................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...wear a scarlet sash on special occasions such as Natflys.

"They pushed out the people who used to organise them" said Salty, "and now no one knows how to organise one."

An idea formed in Cappy's head.....................................................

......... "I know" he said "I'll get Liz to open Natfly (avref). She'll love it and she's back on the market (after an appropriate period of mourning of course), so you never know who she might meet at the Natfly dinner, as there are numerous blokes at Natfly who are in her age bracket and who can do the progressive barn dance."

 

"I've always fancied Princess Anne, myself" commented OT.

 

"But one of the other board members showed particular interest in Ratty's suggestion and immediately started to speak with an Oxford Greek accent and practiced on the waitresses (or Σερβιτόρες as he called them) at Joe's Grick Diner (or Ελληνικό εστιατόριο του Τζο as the blue on white sign says) in Athena St, Moorabbin, to prepare for his ........

Edited May 31, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

"bat as tey cam" said Turbo with a leer on his face.

 

"bat as tey cam, indeed" responded bull.

 

"bat as tey cam and meeeeeooooowwww" was the reply from the Burmese General, which when translated said "I wouldn't mind having a crack at Liz if she'll be at the Narromine Rissole for Natfly.

 

"Where the heck is Natfly this century?" responded another Forum member.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

"I've always fancied Princess Anne, myself" commented OT.

"Who doesn't, & who wouldn't?", replied Planey, bull, Salty, Eeeeean and Moderator 21 ............ plus 15 anonymous Forum visitors & robots.

Edited June 1, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........phone call to Greece.

Δεν γνωρίζουν πολλοί άνθρωποι ότι υπάρχει ένα ελληνικό τμήμα της οικογένειας Turbine. Το Turbine Fish and Chips είναι μια βασική διατροφή της Ελλάδας και η Achilles Turbine προσφέρεται σε ........

 

 

[It's not clear whether Captain is referring to his previous post #unnumbered, or an earlier one, #Unnumbered, or indeed the current one #unnumbered; he has just achieved his 700th full stop. However, we are in the Diversity age, and must give him the benefit of the doubt. Like the French novel Beau Geste where a French Foreigh Legion comes across a Fort with guns as every embrasure, but not a solider to be seen, we don't know what happened in the CAP household when he posted. Perhaps he was about to continue the dots when his wife gave him a belt across the ears with her riding boots. perhaps nature called or perhaps he just ran out of dots]

Edited June 1, 2021 by turboplanner

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

perhaps nature called or perhaps he just ran out of dots]

. or perhaps he donated all of his to the QT as a magnanimous gesture.

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........phone call to Greece.

Δεν γνωρίζουν πολλοί άνθρωποι ότι υπάρχει ένα ελληνικό τμήμα της οικογένειας Turbine. Το Turbine Fish and Chips είναι μια βασική διατροφή της Ελλάδας και η Achilles Turbine προσφέρεται σε ........

It is evident from the above that Turbo is very fluent in Grick through from back in his days last century of driving a cab around Melbournistan for Turbine Yellow Tops.

 

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Το Turbine Fish and Chips είναι μια βασική διατροφή της Ελλάδας και η Achilles Turbine προσφέρεται σε ........

. to which the rather humorous reply was ...............

Edited June 1, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......You would be most welcome Achilles, will you be bringing the girls, and Cappy,eavesdropping as usual, ...........

[Captain]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......You would be most welcome Achilles, will you be bringing the girls, and Cappy,eavesdropping as usual, ...........

..... thought that he might even have a shower for this one, but as always there was a ......