The Never Ending Story

[ahlocks]

..Oh where, oh where is McJocks, to pick up the fight. One down and one to go ... to make it flow.

...and interrupt the flow that you pair have at the moment?? :ah_oh:

 

==============

 

McLoch is discussing the 'Victa' comment with some large Italian businessmen from Mexico and planning something for someone, in the garden

 

 

[turboplanner]

...horse's head....

 

McLoch should take another look at the non Italian face in the previous post. It has been altered by plastic surgery since then of course (as you know you can't change the Italian appearance because the hands give it away every time, but suffice to say when the producers of Underbelly were putting together their program an offer was made which they were unable to refuse, and the world may be poorer as a result, but the parties here in the Caymans just get bigger and bigger.

 

Papillon

 

 

[Captain]

... but suffice to say when the producers of Underbelly were putting together their program an offer was made which they were unable to refuse, Papillon

'You'll be playing a kiwi crime boss (is that a tortology, eh?) so practice the following lines" they said "I'll give your chairps sux graaams to sell, then wear your jandles down to get sum fush & chups and bring therm down to the baaatch where I'll be haaanging out, and where is my social security payment, Bro, as you've been oppressing my people for years, eh."

 

The pairn of my Aaunt is in the garden at the batch, eh

 

 

[ahlocks]

McLock had spent most of yesterday learning that 'PowerPoint' isn't just the thing in the wall that the 'puter is plugged into :black_eye:, after being volunteered to present details of a recent excursion to Mexico to a local Rotary club. :ah_oh: (Sucked in really, by believing they were a rotaryaxe engine appreciation group....)

 

So, after checking in with NES last morning only to be greeted with some sort of server error :confused:, McLoch hunkered down to learn Billy G's version of PP and started assembling some happy :thumb_up:, and some not so happy thumb_down:sad:, snaps for the impending presentiation. (The day logs of the first crew into the area are still a bit spooky.)

 

....deployed to Yea are to relieve local CFA crews one day after Black Saturday

• Crews handed over area from CFA who had been at it since afternoon before. Welcome relief and were extremely happy to see us. Houses were burning as we briefed and many were beyond saving
   
  
• Distressed locals reporting bodies of victims still lying on road sides etc, unable to do anything but reassure them, as it was now a crime scene...
   
  

================McLock is in the garden decoding NES flows from yesterday to 'humour up'

 

 

[turboplanner]

What's worse than that stark experience is that Dracer's story is being backed up by other evidence showing more fire victims have been used for spin and are not getting the help they need to get back on track - not such a nice story.

 

 

[turboplanner]

....and so Avlocks went off to show and tell, dragging his little Sportster into the classroom.....

 

 

[ahlocks]

"Look, Look! I'm a pilot!" Slovak exclaimed to the bemused audience :confused:.

 

"See, here's my fully featured (mickey's tail is a seconds sweep ) pilots watch!"

 

"Oy, numnutz!" commented the club president. "Your supposed to be telling us a yarn about what the crews did in Victoria and not regaling us with tales of loose rivets i_dunno and even looser riverland legends! :ah_oh: ..."

 

"And what's with that pile of scrap metal you've dragged in?" he added.

 

Nonplussed , SlovaK flipped up the beer can's oil filler access hole, which was really just a clever disguise ;), and fumbled for the rotaryaxe starter cord....

 

==============

 

"I mean, fair dinkum Turbz! :ah_oh: would you risk breaking a perfectly good truck to extinguish a pile of smoking Jabiru(e) resin?" i_dunno :devil:

 

 

[turboplanner]

There was rousing applause from the group who loved to hear aviation talk, and would go home tonight and in reverent terms tell their wife and kids they heard from a PILOT today.

 

They didn't understand any of what they heard, so no harm was done, and in fact regular forum visitors would probably agree it was the most technically correct post we've seen in months (except for the footnote about the Jab, but we did provoke him).

 

Flushed with success, Avlovak wandered along to Narowmind and into the tent which had become known as the Hot Buns Tent.

 

"Help!", said ExAdmin as nubile young hands grabbed for his buns, "I'll never......"

 

 

[ahlocks]

"Help!", said ExAdmin as nubile young hands grabbed for his buns, "I'll never......"

"...question why they are called hot crossed buns ever again!" ExAdmin complained:sad:.

 

"They are really quite red raw and I'm really cross that the bloke with the cat glove puppet keeps sending young nubiles to grab at them"....:raise_eyebrow:

 

=============

 

The minister for warfare and finance :heart: has decreed that McLoch has to get out of the garden and get to work. ..and NOT go loosening rivets.:broken_heart:

 

 

[turboplanner]

"They are really quite red raw and I'm really cross that the bloke with the cat glove puppet keeps sending young nubiles to grab at them"...

This was just a cover, ExAdmin had never had so much fun in all his life, and started giving away free Nav systems, nodding and signing autographs for the people who came up and said "Geez what have you got that I haven't" (apparently overlooking the pot gut, dirty jeans, three dau growth and BO)

 

Ex Admin bounced around, his voice getting louder and louder, and giving away more and more for free. Finally he overdid it.....

[Captain]

and giving away more and more for free. Finally he overdid it.....

"Oh, bugger" he said "I've also given away all of the forum members who were sitting around in the tent drinking my coffee, sucking down my bickies and inhaling my hotties................... and I could have got a fortune from such prime meat as that. I'll just grab the keys to their aircraft, go for a free fly in a 230 (I'm excited, and hope I can handle the speed & fine handling) and .............."

 

[turboplanner]

I'll just grab the keys to their aircraft, go for a free fly in a 230 (I'm excited, and hope I can handle the speed & fine handling) and .............."

"... land as straight as I usually do".

 

NES friends, ExAdmin was used to the speed and handling of his trusty Grizzl He reeled back in horror as the Jab motor came to life;his reaction being similar to a Kamikaze pilot when he hit the button of the Zero, and knew this would be the last time it ever started.

 

He's never felt power like this before and his bruised buns began to quiver and his sphincter muscle tightened like a No4 pipe wrench.

 

He touched the throttle to taxi, completely forgetting his after start checks, and the surge of speed was something he'd never experienced before. He grabbed the brake lever like a man possessed, and it seemd that nothing was happening (which as Jab jockeys know is normal).

 

Gingerly edging on to the runway in a series of surging and braking he smoothly opened the throttle like he always did in the Grizzl.

 

There was a surge of power and the Jab immediately curved to the left (very much like one of Le Crappe's golf shots) and hit the grass.

 

Then he remembered "right rudder to offset engine torque!", and he managed to get it back on line and smoothly into the air.

 

"This really is like flying a Spitfire" he thought "No wonder so many people bought Jabs"

 

He looked at the altimeter, which in the Grizzl would be showing about 500 feet, and was staggered to see 10,000 feet on the clock which was spinning wildly. Narrowmind was fast becoming a little spec.

 

"I'm about to run out of oxygen!" he gasped at 12,000 feet.

 

He looked out the side window and saw BigW, who always breathed his own oxygen. BigW's big glove (which he'd bought at a $2 shop - two sizes too big but who cares, it hold a bundy - pointed downwards, and ExAdmin dissolved in gratitude at the kindness of somone he'd had to be stern with.

 

But he hadn't been paying attention and the Jab flicked into a spin [NES readers see the thread "Stalls" for some of the most outstanding fiction since James Bond]. Using the falling leaf manoeuvre he managed to flutter down into the circuit, remember his calls, and make a half decent approach until he was about 20 feet from the ground when the Jab lifted a wing, angled round 40 degrees in the opposite direction, lifted the nose - all the things you would expect in a normal landing.

 

With eyes set like steel, our ExAdmin wrestled the Jab on to the ground where it bounced back into the air, dropped like a rock, ounced again, landed at a 15 degree angle to starboard, immediately swerved to port, up on to the grass, over a rabbit warren, and through a fence. It was at this point that ExAdmin lost control and crashed into a stump.

 

Feeling downhearted, and not knowing what he was going to say to Le Crappe he walked back to his tent, his buns mincing like two cats fighting in a bag......

 

 

[Captain]

With eyes set like steel, our ExAdmin wrestled the Jab on to the ground where it bounced back into the air, dropped like a rock, ounced again, landed at a 15 degree angle to starboard, immediately swerved to port, up on to the grass, over a rabbit warren, and through a fence. It was at this point that ExAdmin lost control and crashed into a stump.

Feeling downhearted, and not knowing what he was going to say to Le Crappe he walked back to his tent, his buns mincing like two cats fighting in a bag......

....... "No worries, Ex-y" said the Skipp. "Anyone who can "ounce again" will get my support. Just take Ross's pussy next time, will ya?"

 

"Ok" was his sheepish reply " I'll ounce another time & .................

 

 

[turboplanner]

....... "No worries, Ex-y" said the Skipp. "Anyone who can "ounce again" will get my support. Just take Ross's pussy next time, will ya?"

"Ok" was his sheepish reply " I'll ounce another time & .................

...(thinking of all those nubile blondes) get back to work."

 

At Narrowmind Day 2, ExAdmin was in his element. He’d rushed down to the local Target store the previous night and bought himself a pair of hot pink shorts, then asked his wife to press them. Now Corinne was waaay ahead of the action but decided to play along. “What do you want these for dear?” she asked sweetly “I need to project a more vibrant image for our business” said ExAdmin without even blushing.

 

 

And so NES readers it came to pass that ExAdmin made the news on two channels that night, although it was noticed that the cameras spent more time on the long lines of girls than out Hero.

 

 

There was some muttering that this was interfering with the flow of the National Event, and didn’t seem to have much to do with aviation, but the Organizing Committee had already noted that three hundred and fifty of the girls had availed themselves of offers for Ad Hoc TIFs, and also that almost certainly there would be a few little flyers available in a few years albeit that this was accidental.

 

 

The Organizers knew where their bread was buttered and made ExAdmin's little stale bun tent Exhibit of the Show, and inducted ExAdmin into the RAA Hall of Fame.

 

But there were clouds on the horizon......

 

 

 

[Captain]

...But there were clouds on the horizon......

..... because in 2 posts, Tubb had used up all of the available words that were allocated for April 8th.

 

"He sure is verbose today" said Ahlow in a PM to the Cappo.

 

"Yes" Le Crepe replied "I have 2 Bose's & they weren't cheap, so having ver Boses must have cost Tubb a fortune"

 

"No wonder he hasn't fixed that outboard yet" answered McJocks "And Ian will be .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

"No wonder he hasn't fixed that outboard yet" answered McJocks "And Ian will be .....

"....pestering me to fly the Hysterical Dragonfly"

 

There was a rumble of laughter from the six people trapped in the First Class Lounge. They certainly didn't have much else to laugh about because they'd run out of gin the first night, while telling tall stories about themselves, no one had thought to take in a change of underwear and they were now trapped, apparently without words since Turbo had cleverly used them all up in the Free to Air posts.

 

One voice, forever complaining about the lack of gin seemed to stand out from the others; could it be B...

 

 

[Captain]

"....pestering me to fly the Hysterical Dragonfly"

There was a rumble of laughter from the six people trapped in the First Class Lounge. They certainly didn't have much else to laugh about because they'd run out of gin the first night, while telling tall stories about themselves, no one had thought to take in a change of underwear and they were now trapped, apparently without words since Turbo had cleverly used them all up in the Free to Air posts.

 

One voice, forever complaining about the lack of gin seemed to stand out from the others; could it be B...

................

 

 

[turboplanner]

Can we say it on the internet? .....BlackPete......

 

 

[Captain]

....

 

My Aunt says that I may need to wait until tomorrow until the next quota of words are available, because Tubb gutsed them all off, out there in the garden.

 

 

[turboplanner]

Aaaaagh, Turbo had underestimated the deep deep, and consistent sense of humour of Le Crappe, and NES readers this also is an example of how quickly aliens would be able to adapt to human conversation if they ever came to earth....

 

 

[Captain]

Aaaaagh, Turbo had underestimated the deep deep, and consistent sense of humour of Le Crappe, and NES readers this also is an example of how quickly aliens would be able to adapt to human conversation if they ever came to earth....

 

"Did someone say "deep"?" asked Nanna, who had a few words left over from March "I'll be in that, but ........

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Did someone say "deep"?" asked Nanna, who had a few words left over from March "I'll be in that, but ........

 

"....first I have to hitch a ride to Narrowmind to sink me nails into those buns...."

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Oh no" said the Pink Panted "I know all about her", and he quickly shooed out the girls, borrowed the President's natty flying suit, stuck his thumbs in the bib and started a boring talk on flying.......

 

 

[Captain]

"Oh no" said the Pink Panted "I know all about her", and he quickly shooed out the girls, borrowed the President's natty flying suit, stuck his thumbs in the bib and started a boring talk on flying.......

.... but at least with Nanna there he knew that he wouldn't need to give his sock puppet a run. He could just ......

 

(Where did those words come from?)

 

 

[turboplanner]

.... but at least with Nanna there he knew that he wouldn't need to give his sock puppet a run. He could just ......

 

 

.... ... .. . (sorry, out of word quota)