The Never Ending Story

[CT9000]

........Ha Ha what a load of proverbial cow droppings, for the unlearned among our ranks Darraweit Guim is an indigenous term meaning "meeting of the waters".     The small picturesque settlement of Darraweit Guim is situated at the meeting of five natural waterways in north central Victoria and just happens to be home to Darraweit regional airport {avref but no code 'cause it is mine}. Now back to the frivolity ........... 

[Captain]

47 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Darraweit was a donkey, and alleged to be trained, but in 1967. at the Governor's Garden Party at Werribee Mansion, Darraweit .............

...... "got it out" at a most inappropriate time, such that the Governor's wife felt the need to take off her ........

 

THE PHOTO IN "THE AGE" NEWSPAPER THE NEXT DAY, OF DARRAWEIT @ THE GARDEN PARTY - "This is not a suggestive photo that should be suppressed, this is just the magnificent glory of mother nature" commented Turbo Attenborough, enviously.

Edited June 7, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....veil, to get a better look. However, upon doing so, she was immediately scolded by her..........

 

[NOTE to CT9000 - Of course, even us left coast yokels know that Darraweit Guim is a little Victorian town, a few kays out of Elmore - but there was this well-known performing donkey - owned by Turbo, of course - who was named after Darraweit Guim, purely because Turbo thought it was absolutely hilarious to do so, and to hear people trying to call out the donkeys name ....]

 

 

Edited June 7, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

39 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

for the unlearned among our ranks Darraweit Guim is an indigenous term meaning "meeting of the waters".     The small picturesque settlement of Darraweit Guim is situated at the meeting of five natural waterways in north central Victoria and just happens to be home to Darraweit regional airport {avref but no code 'cause it is mine}.

.... said the CT in his promo video, who has a 10 block subdivision of flood-prone land to sell, just down the hill from Darraweit Guim International Airport.

 

"It's unique" commented the CT (who really isn't that big a one) "As no matter where it rains, you will benefit from the water flows .............. and one of the so called " five natural waterways" will get ya".

 

The CT also expects to make big money from the hundred or so 15 m high stilts that he has for sale which the land contracts specify must be included below all new residences.

Edited June 7, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

[Information to NES readers for clarity:

The Darraweit Guim story came out at every Governor's Garden Party inh the late 19th century, and caused such embarrassment that Premier William Shiels  had Place Names Victoria put the name on the Register and offered free land for a pub, bakery and store, so  when wives arrived home and asked what the big joke was, the men could refer to something oulandish in the town, and it remains that way today asa we saw from CT's post]

 

 

[CT9000]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[Information to NES readers for clarity:

The Darraweit Guim story came out at every Governor's Garden Party inh the late 19th century, and caused such embarrassment that Premier William Shiels  had Place Names Victoria put the name on the Register and offered free land for a pub, bakery and store, so  when wives arrived home and asked what the big joke was, the men could refer to something oulandish in the town, and it remains that way today asa we saw from CT's post]

 

 

Further information, Darraweit Guim once upon a time had five pubs - all gone, bakery gone, general store gone not even a servo. Home to about 300 people several thousand sheep various crops etc. even a school and of course the airfield but this is classic thread drift so on with the NES.....

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

and of course the airfield but this is classic thread drift so on with the NES.....

........... where thread drift is our speciality and points are awarded for drift (20), vaguery (20), insults (20), aviation & AUF matters (0.1) & miscellaneous other unimportant issues (39.9).

 

Now on with the NES ............  

Edited June 7, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

47 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....veil, to get a better look. However, upon doing so, she was immediately scolded by her........

.... hubby, the Governor, for staring at .......

[turboplanner]

......the thread drift.

"What are you DOING!" said the Governor in a rhetorical question (which means he knew the answer).

"I was looking at the dahlias...." she started to say, but  he weeled her around and .........

[onetrack]

.....because his wife was Finnish, she blocked him from any further moves, and yelled out, "Ei!! Olen innoissani!! Jätä minut!!". This had the effect of causing great confusion amongst the others present - but it didn't confuse the Governor. He knew exactly what she was saying, and it was time to do something about the donkey - because he couldn't do anything more with his wife.

 

"Darraweit!!", the Governor called out, fully expecting the donkey to raise his head and acknowledge him. But as soon as he called out the donkeys name, 120 heads swivelled towards him, and most of the crowd started to laugh and point - at the Governor - and his wife. The Governor was apoplectic. He was going to get Turbo for this, even if it took him 10 years. He headed for the donkey and.......

[turboplanner]

......raised his weapon.

The donkey ...............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

......raised his weapon.

The donkey ...............

..... raised his too, which was pretty impressive as it probably weighs 30 kgs.

 

"An erextion like that is called a "Guim" in Finish, and is both impressive and .....

[onetrack]

.....alarming", said the Governor. "But you always need to match your weapon to your opponents weapon! - and I have the superior weapon!". At that, he shot Darraweit stone-cold dead on the spot, thus bringing gasps of horror from the assembled crowd - while his wife cried out, "Ei! Ei! Ei!!".

 

"Kyllä! Kyllä! Kyllä!!", cried the Governor in delight as the donkey fell over. The crowd yelled, "Yes! Yes! Yes!!" - mistaking the Governors Finnish outburst for English, and agreeing that he really was a Killer.

 

Meantimes, Turbo burst through the crowd, seething with anger over the senseless killing of his dear old donkey, which had provided him with many a laugh.

 

"You bastard!", he cried. "This means War! I'll never forgive you for this, and neither will your wife, who was gaining.........

[Captain]

26 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"You bastard!", he cried. "This means War! I'll never forgive you for this, and neither will your wife, who was gaining.........

..... a few pounds just at the thought of all that donkey goulash, some of which she would donate, as a tribute to Darraweit & his impressive Guim, to the local Aero Club (eventualavref) at Darraweit Guim International (which had taken over most passenger, freight & smuggling operations from Wallan Intercontinental [Turbine ATC have the very lucrative tower operations contract thru to 2050]).

 

"Which part of the donkey do you favour?" she asked Mavis, who was still eyeing off his now motionless ...... 

Edited June 8, 2021 by Captain

[CT9000]

52 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... a few pounds just at the thought of all that donkey goulash, some of which she would donate, as a tribute to Darraweit & his impressive Guim, to the local Aero Club (eventualavref) at Darraweit Guim International (which had taken over most passenger, freight & smuggling operations from Wallan Intercontinental [Turbine ATC have the very lucrative tower operations contract thru to 2050]).

 

"Which part of the donkey do you favour?" she asked Mavis, who was still eyeing off his now motionless ...... 

Just a side note that Turbine ATC may not be on the gravy train they think for the Wallan tower. you can now only just make out the end of rwy. 18 and a part of the taxiway at the edge of the houses. That graft and corruption payment plan may not still be all that lucrative.

[turboplanner]

......Mavis had no class at all. "I like rump steak", she said, but the donkey was dragged away and stuffed.

 

It was decided that such a magnificent animal should not be lost to the people of Victoria, and Darraweit was taken to the Melbourne Museum itself, given a different name of course, and described as a race horse so there were no awkward questions, and has been a popular tourist icon for generations of people.

 

However, ........

Edited June 8, 2021 by turboplanner

[CT9000]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

......MaVIS HAd no class at all. "I like rump steak", she said, but the donkey was dragged away and stuffed.

 

It was decided that such a magnificent animal should not be lost to the people of Victoria, and Darraweit was taken to the Melbourne Museum itself, given a different name of course, and described as a race horse so ther are no awkward questions, and has been a popular tourist icon for generations of people.

 

However ........

......most people seem to like a bit of rump. I guess any animal would be a bit stuffed after the treatment received especially after being dragged away....

[Captain]

1 hour ago, CT9000 said:

......most people seem to like a bit of rump. I guess any animal would be a bit stuffed after the treatment received especially after being dragged away....

......... by the tail (which provides an opportunity for a brilliantly witty tail-dragger (avref)).

 

As part of the donkey stuffing process, his guim was removed to be stuffed and tanned and presented to Dan to commemorate how he has stuffed Victoria and hereafter to be used in the Victorian Parliament by the Knight of the Donkey's Black Rod as his ..........

 

 

PS - Given the CT's recent advice that "Turbine ATC may not be on the gravy train they think for the Wallan tower", even though their operations have been moved to the new tower at Darraweit Guim International albeit without CT's knowledge, questions have been asked by the ASX, as Turbine Industries included a mention of the long term Darraweit Guim ATC contract in documents for a recent capital raise. Given that the ASX have been a bit feral of late, there is now a danger that they might cut off Turbo's Guim too.

Edited June 8, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

.......previous Black Rod was well-worn, and looking very limp and tatty, due to an exceptional amount of daily use - which could almost be described as "getting a good flogging".

 

Meanwhile, Turbo was planning revenge on the Governor for his ruthless act of depriving Turbo of the companionship of Darrenweit. The Governors wife was also plotting with Turbo to exact some revenge for dispatching the donkey.

 

It's not well known that the Governors wife, whose maiden name was Margrete Yiekkanen, had previously been a champion Finnish rally driver, and a world-class aerobatic pilot (long-overdue avref).

Her nickname was "Yikes", which developed directly from the cries of her rally co-drivers and co-pilots, as she threw rally cars and aircraft around equally with gay abandon (and no LGBTQ reference meant here, either).

 

She was now determined to resume her former career, and had cunning plans to include the Governor in either her rally car and aircraft rides. Accordingly, she organised for a Ford Fiesta WRC and a Pitts Special S-2 to be........

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

4 minutes ago, onetrack said:

...delivgered to the Government House lawn where, try as she would, she could not get the Fiesta to take off, and it slid into the Governor's duck pond. on the other hand the Pitts took off like a bird, and she completed a couple of laps of the garden, landing smoothly on the back lawn, to .............

[Strange people those early pilots; when you realise they didn't "elevate" or 'go up" or even "sky", but took orff" which  makes you wondwer what they took off. Did they reach a certain speed, then whip off a shioe? At t60 knots did they tak off their jumper? or did they simply take off their Biggles badge?]

 

 

 

4 minutes ago, onetrack said:

 

 

[Captain]

And so, dear readers, the NES is off the rails again.

 

There are no dots by which we can continue, Turbs is quoting OT when no such text exists any longer in OT's posts, plus there is a quote by Tink from OT with not a jot of text in it (which is perhaps our beloved Turbs having a shot at Onesie, in that this is how he actually regards OT's contribution to this tome).

 

Plus poor Darraweit (who bravely gave his life, and his guim, in the service of the NES) has had his name corrupted (CASAref) to Darrenweit (which is Finish for Darren White .... an as yet unknown and undefined NES character).

Edited June 8, 2021 by Captain

[CT9000]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.......previous Black Rod was well-worn, and looking very limp and tatty, due to an exceptional amount of daily use - which could almost be described as "getting a good flogging".

 

Meanwhile, Turbo was planning revenge on the Governor for his ruthless act of depriving Turbo of the companionship of Darrenweit. The Governors wife was also plotting with Turbo to exact some revenge for dispatching the donkey.

 

It's not well known that the Governors wife, whose maiden name was Margrete Yiekkanen, had previously been a champion Finnish rally driver, and a world-class aerobatic pilot (long-overdue avref).

Her nickname was "Yikes", which developed directly from the cries of her rally co-drivers and co-pilots, as she threw rally cars and aircraft around equally with gay abandon (and no LGBTQ reference meant here, either).

 

She was now determined to resume her former career, and had cunning plans to include the Governor in either her rally car and aircraft rides. Accordingly, she organised for a Ford Fiesta WRC and a Pitts Special S-2 to be........

 

 

 

....fitted with surplus supercharged Morry 4cyl sidevalve engines.......                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  sorry captain just trying a restart to see what happens

[Captain]

52 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

....fitted with surplus supercharged Morry 4cyl sidevalve engines.......                                                                                  

..... about which the CT appears to have a strong interest, if not a fetish.

 

Could it be that he and Darren White (respects to all convicts, blonde Finnish persons & whitey old folks (elders) alive and dead) might have 9000 of these engines in stock after they were removed in WA in preference to the torque and reliability of the superior Renault Dauphine powerplant (as made famous by the outstanding racing success of Turbine Sprintcars)?

 

While on their fag breaks, the security staff of Turbine ATC had been searching that suburb with the weird donkey sounding name for the stash of Morries and they had ........

 

 

No worries CT and even though you too are a Mexican, we proper Aussies will always defend to the death your right to attempt to restart the NES.

Edited June 8, 2021 by Captain

[CT9000]

10 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... about which the CT appears to have a strong interest, if not a fetish.

 

Could it be that he and Darren White (respects to all convicts, blonde Finnish persons & whitey old folks (elders) alive and dead) might have 9000 of these engines in stock after they were removed in WA in preference to the torque and reliability of the superior Renault Dauphine powerplant (as made famous by the outstanding racing success of Turbine Sprintcars)?

 

While on their fag breaks, the security staff of Turbine ATC had been searching that suburb with the weird donkey sounding name for the stash of Morries and they had ........

 

 

No worries CT and even though you too are a Mexican, I will defend to the death your right to attempt to restart the NES.

.....no luck at all, the affore mentioned engines have all rusted up and been sold off for scrap however there are a number of Ford v8 engines around that may be suitable. How about a 408 cu in 500 hp for the Ford Fiesta or maybee a 347 cu in 430 hp for the Pits??......

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

.....no luck at all, the affore mentioned engines have all rusted up and been sold off for scrap however there are a number of Ford v8 engines around that may be suitable. How about a 408 cu in 500 hp for the Ford Fiesta or maybee a 347 cu in 430 hp for the Pits??......

..... which is a sad way to describe his own aircraft (avref).

 

"It's not "the pits" even though it is just a CT of a plane (avref)" said bull with encouragement "All they need is a good old pushrod V8 up the front and a bit of lead in the empennage and all will be good, so cheer up mate". (when bull said this he didn't use all those caps, so I have used a little artistic license in this quote).

 

One of the reasons that bull has recently been schtumm in the NES is that he, with the CT, were involved in the "Great WA Warehouse Heist" (made famous in the film "Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Morries') where 9000 Morrie sidevalve donks were taken from the WAPol warehouse and smuggled back to DG (I'm sick of looking up how to spell it) in mouse transport semi (Turboref) backloads and which were then .....

Edited June 8, 2021 by Captain