The Never Ending Story

[CT9000]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....and he also noticed obviously illegal beach mansions with hectares of beach fenced off and people darting about on jetskis. Geelong airfield had been roofed over and he could see wild parties taking place above the strip he had intended to land on. This deck had been built overnight without any planning permits which had become the Victorian way. Tattooed naked girls were sunbaking on his normal touchdown point, and he shuddered as he thought of his recent escape, then indignant at what these uncouth nouveau riche had done, and desperate for a magnificent luch at the Edgewater where the only thing taken off the steaks are the horns, he put down in Ryrie Street.

After a few moments..............

....of quiet contemplation as the vicpol officer was writing tickets out, this will probably be still cheaper than the landing fees at the nearby other airfields ........

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

After a few moments..............

...... he taxied (avref & notanUberref) into Fenwick St and parked the Tyro under some trees near the State Offices, so nobody will notice it as most are still working (sic) from home at a $ premium.

 

The image of the yummy Geelong sunbaking, tattooed, naked ladies was etched in bull's mind and competing for his attention with the mooing steaks .......... but bull was single minded and declared his decision to stay put, even though CT's walloper was giving him grief, this was still cheaper than the landing fees at the nearby other airfields ..................... what's more is of historical significance as it is close to where they removed Peter Lalor's arm after he escaped from Eureka  ........

 

OH BUGGER ....... THE CT HAS POSTED OVER ON THE NEW PAGE AND RATTY MISSED IT. SORRY ABOUT THAT ........... BUT WHO CARES REALLY, AS IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME THAT THE NES HAS CONTAINED A RIVETTING & DERRING-DO AVIATION TALE, SO RATTY DEFTLY WOVE THEM BACK INTO ONE, BY ADDING THE SECTION IN ITALICS. APOLOGIES CT, AS I'M THE CT THIS TIME. 

Edited June 23, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

.......check out the State Govt Offices building, and its unbelievable style of architecture. "How could anyone design a monstrosity like this, and dump it right in the centre of town?", cried bull.

 

"It looks like the Mafia combined with the Concreters Union to purloin 100,000 cu metres of concrete from the largest corporate building sites, and cast this thing in the darkness in the country, somewhere away from prying eyes - then picked it up with a C-5 Galaxy (avref) and threw it out over Geelong Central, without a parachute! It's an abomination, right out of.........

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.......check out the State Govt Offices building, and its unbelievable style of architecture. "How could anyone design a monstrosity like this, and dump it right in the centre of town?", cried bull.

 

"It looks like the Mafia combined with the Concreters Union to purloin 100,000 cu metres of concrete from the largest corporate building sites, and cast this thing in the darkness in the country, somewhere away from prying eyes - then picked it up with a C-5 Galaxy (avref) and threw it out over Geelong Central, without a parachute! It's an abomination, right out of.........

........ abomination central casting in Abominationville.

 

The issue is also complicated by the fact that the abomination fell right where Peter Lalor's arm is buried (as readers can see, Le Rat has a bit of a fascination with Peter L (and his missing appendage) because this is part of core mining & national history about which bull is on the trail, as just like Le Rat, he too is a ............

[Captain]

AS AN ASIDE (& BONUS ONLY AVAILABLE ON THE INTERWEB TO LOYAL NES READERS) - The similarity between Peter Lalor (see below) and The Captain are striking, with the only issues being that Cappy has an extra appendage which is offset in full by his much lesser achievements.

 

As seen below, that same handsome countenance, that same steely blue eyed stare but those 4 less fingers, 1 less thumb and only half the number of elbows.

 

But on the other hand (amputationref), Pete wears his watch on the wrong arm.

 

Edited June 23, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........minor.

Not many people know that Geelong originated from a tin mine which was discovered by William Buckley, one of the founders of the Buckley and Nunn Emporium. Bucks was out digging yams with the bros one day when one of the tribe said "Do you want to see where we get the tin from?"

"What's tin?" asked Bucks.

"You stupid white fella" replied Darryl, "we use it to make tins to cook our dampers in"

Unfortunately the damper tins didn't tak off; it was quicker just to throw the damper on the fire, but William Buckley started digging it up and selling it to the English Captains who arrived with squatters. The squatters began to use it for all sorts of kitchen products, farm equipment and building. Tin made a much better roof than sod.

Bucks made enough money to build his Emporium, and hired young Ruben Myer to run it.

Soon Bucks was organising fashion parades where he helped the young women change outfits quickly, and became bored with tin mining and sold it to Jack Lysaght who increased tin prices so greatly that the Australian tin industry collapsed, the first example of Australia's litany of price-collapse, the most famous being wool.

 

Peter Lalor fitted into the Geelong Society very well, telling his story about the famous days of the fight at the Eureka Stockade. They wanted to call it the OK Corral, but that name had been taken.

 

One story he used to tell was...........

 

 

[Tin story kindly approved for publishing by Turbine Dark Emu Publishing Inc.]

 

 

 

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Peter Lalor fitted into the Geelong Society very well, telling his story about the famous days of the fight at the Eureka Stockade. They wanted to call it the OK Corral, but that name had been taken.

 

One story he used to tell was...........

........ that the main reason he went into politics is that it's hard to dig tin with one arm and that he always dug in a circle. (Pete's tin digging efforts were photographed from a balloon in 1857 and the result was sold to the IOC ........ but was only effective as a symbol once Turbo proposed that the circles be coloured as per his membership of the LMBTQHD community and their happy flag. After that, the Olympics really took off and ever since have annually paid an 8 figure licensing fee which is split between Pete and Tink).

 

One other point that is mentioned on page 97 of Turbine Dark Emu Publishing's sequel "Dark Willy Wagtail" is that Pete and the Eureka "Bakery Hill Boys" committee commissioned Turbine Public Relations & Surveys Inc to undertake community focus groups on the names "OK Stockade, Eureka Corral, OK Timber Fence, Bakery Bun-in-the-Oven, VicPol Victimisation (tick on that), The Original Victoristan Lockdown (how far ahead of the game were they on that one?), and the book also demonstrated that all Miners were born with one arm, so were forced to live in groups of up to 5000, all paired up to work, cook and make love as "Lefties" and "Righties" (which was the 1st reference to political parties) and where they invented 2 Up, Roulette and were the first to play Roulette is coordinated groups, hence why they licensed some of their routines and the name to the RAAF is 1862.

 

"Dark Willy Wagtail" was the reason why Turbo has posted less here over recent weeks, as he has now been made the Dean of several Universities, he has been as far as Sale in his books signing tour and will be the feature of the next 4 Corners episode titled "................

Edited June 24, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

The edit limit with these posts stopped me from also pointing out a key post modern fact about the victimisation and racism that "Dark Willy Wagtail" has exposed ........

 

"Dark WWT" also has a tragic side as it defined, very sadly, that all of these one armed miners were prevented by bigoted administrators from being AFL goal umpires. (It was tried a few times in 1870's, but the crowds were unhappy with the fact that all scores were just a one).

Edited June 24, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

......How To Scam 100,000 People And Get Away With It". The 4 Corners investigation goes deep into a shadowy groups operations on 6 Continents (they haven't started up in China yet, because the bribe amount negotiations are ongoing, assisted by a team from Dan Andrews office).

The 4 Corners investigation team has discovered the name of this shadowy organisation, which appears to have links with the Mafia, the Cosa Nostra, Mexican & Colombian Drug Cartels, Chinese Triads, Vietnamese Crime Gangs, Internet Scam Gangs, Russian Cyberhackers, and even Congolese Street Hoods.

The team will reveal that this shadowy organisation has tentacles in nearly every corner of the world - and the HQ is based right here in Melbourne, working out of a nondescript-looking home in a SE Melbourne suburb.

The 4 Corners expose will show permanent links between aviation, trucking, motor racing, publishing, business ventures, farming - in fact, every area of society where it can sink its tentacles into, to ruthlessly ream its victims.

The expose will show journalists trying to chase down the shadowy head of this global group, who manages to evade them by disappearing mere minutes before the journos arrival at his headquarters. 

What can be shown, is that this group and its mystery owner, are opportunistic, hungry for power and money, and will stop at nothing to ensure that they........

[Captain]

9 minutes ago, onetrack said:

What can be shown, is that this group and its mystery owner, are opportunistic, hungry for power and money, and will stop at nothing to ensure that they........

......... stay connected with Scotty.

 

It is now a household word and even little kiddies are taught about Critical Turbine Theory (CTT) and his sinister T-anon organization that has members in ...........

Edited June 24, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

On 24/06/2021 at 10:55 AM, Captain said:

It is now a household word and even little kiddies are taught about Critical Turbine Theory (CTT) and his sinister T-anon organization that has members who are in ...........

.... consequential, inconsolable, incapacitated & in-the-know.

 

As Scot said in his latest interview "I have known Turbo for a long time and I respect him enormously (although he can be a bit of a dick at times), however he did not get me to insert that section in my "Sorry Speech" about side-vale head torques or the ethnic mix in Moorabbin." 

 

T-anon's core beliefs are that the world is controlled by turbophiles who kill bunnies, have a sidevalve head fixations, and who think Hillary Clinton is a bit of a .............

Edited June 25, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....squeeze.

Don't tell anyone, NES readers, bu Cappy has had a thing for Hillary for years, at one time imagined himself as First Guy before Trump came along and took him on as his No 2 Secret Service Agent. Cappy forgot about Hillary in a nanosecond, lost in the excitement of being able to knee people like Emmanuel Macron in the nuts to clear a path for the Don and ride in Marine One, clipping the White House trees; he even ......................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....squeeze.

Don't tell anyone, NES readers, bu Cappy has had a thing for Hillary for years, at one time imagined himself as First Guy before Trump came along and took him on as his No 2 Secret Service Agent. Cappy forgot about Hillary in a nanosecond, lost in the excitement of being able to knee people like Emmanuel Macron in the nuts to clear a path for the Don and ride in Marine One, clipping the White House trees; he even ......................

..... was offered a tryst with Brigitte after she saw the effectiveness of Cappies kneeing of Emmanuel's cashews.

 

"She has been after me for a while" said Cappy "And constantly sends me photos like the one below, so when I ........

 

Edited June 25, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......next go to Paris she's offered to come up with me in a Moth Minor, and ..................

[onetrack]

.....see if we can track down the farming and killing factories of Turbine Enterprises. It's already been noted that Turbine has a large setup farming and  killing cats and rats (in different factories, of course - it's impossible to mix the two on farming and production lines) - but it's the thought of precious little bunnies being farmed and killed, that's enough to set Brigitte off, on a dedicated mission to save the fluffy bunnies.

 

However, when Brigitte discovered that Cappy was actually a Jedi Rat, she forgot all about fluffy bunnies, and wanted to know how a rat became a Jedi - and then morphed into Mickey Mouse in a suit and cloak. She asked Cappy if he'd ever worked in Disneyland, and if he had, how did he.......

[turboplanner]

.....manage the long march in the Evening Parade every night on those skinny little legs.

Cappy smiled and said "It was always worth it for the reward at the end""

Knowing that with Cappy it wouldn't be the left over cooked hot dogs, and he said "Minnie"

A geam came into Cappy's eyes as he said "Tinkerbell, ..............................

 

[turboplanner]

........." and then lost his nerve " can I borrow a book from the library?"

Not many people know that Walt Disney was a very hard task master. The girls and fairies were allowed to parade in skimpy outfits to catch the eye of Holywood producers, but the deal was Walt got a handy 1% of their earnings when they made it, and they had to work in Disneyland Admin for 16 hours a day. Tinkerbell was one of the Security Officers who had to move the drunks out of Hamburgerland, Steak House, Red Dog Saloon, Klondike Strike and Lasseters Last Ride, you'd be surprised what she could do with just a baton, and they all went meekly home every night. She looked back at Cappy, who unfortunately lost his footing on a discarded DisneyCone right at that moment, and she pulled out her baton and .................

Edited June 26, 2021 by turboplanner

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Tinkerbell was one of the Security Officers who had to move the drunks out of Hamburgerland, Steak House, Red Dog Saloon, Klondike Strike and Lasseters Last Ride, you'd be surprised what she could do with just a baton, and they all went meekly home every night. She looked back at Cappy, who unfortunately lost his footing on a discarded DisneyCone right at that moment, and she pulled out her baton and .................

.... used it in a "manner le bonne suggestife, silver plait".

 

It was fortunate that the baton then had to be removed before it ruptured something, as it was time for Tinkerbelle to strap into her harness and appear to fly(avref) over the crowd and land on Captain Hook's lap (the Capt Hook character was the subject of considerable competition for the gig to be Tinkerbelle's landing pad). However as she soared (AGFref) over the crowd, who all looked up in amazement, a young child said to his mere "Oh ma mère , regarde la bonne Belle Tinker who must be from the Follies Bergere, because elle a chaud as comme je peux le voir ses fesses et she is wearing no .....

Edited June 26, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

..........nesdecript-looking underwear, which is not a good look for Disneyland, and which must reflect the poor salaries these performers receive!"

 

"We must take up a collection, or organise some crowd funding so Mam'selle Tinker can buy herself some fine French lace knickers, as in keeping with the Folies Bergère tradition!"

 

But at that, Cappy, who was rubbernecking and leering at the bottom side of Tinkerbelle, in the hope of ............
 

[Captain]

..... a good squiz at Tinker's (Belle, not Planner) delicious ......

[Captain]

TO ASSIST THOSE WHO ARE UNABLE TO READ EN FRANCAISE, HERE IS A PHOTO (LE KODAK) OF LA TINKERBELLE HIGH FLYING WITH THE CROWD LOOKING UP FROM THE GRANDSTAND (LE STAND GRANDE) IN AWE.

 

Edited June 26, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......ad for Pluto Roast Chicken Dinners at Mels Diner.

This ad was in the form of a projected hologram of a roast chicken with all you can eat on a 12 inch plate. Tinkerbell had a backpack with a 2 stroke Honda pumping out a roast chicken odour, and as the float passed about 20% of the audience rushed for Mels Diner elbowing and kicking each other for an 8 inch high stack of sliced chicken.

 

After the failure of the Red Bull Air Races [avref on Disney ref] which came to a halt when an extra punched through both sides of Magic Mountain, Turbine Entertainment tried to capitalise on Mels Drive In (American Graffiti) by running drag races from the parking lot up Main Street, but the Nanny-State Disney Management shut the races down becase little kiddies were wandering across Main Street, and 

 

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

but the Nanny-State Disney Management shut the races down becase little kiddies were wandering across Main Street, and ......

...... the cute little nippers may have been hit by bits falling off the 'Vette when Turbs had his run. (The 'Vette revs all the way thru to 5000, don't ya know).

 

This shut-down meant that ......

[CT9000]

.....the state govermut will be deprived of significant amounts of funding 'cause the revenue collectors can no longer hand out tickets under the hoon legislation....

[turboplanner]

....and so the Governor sent California into Chapter 11.

Since the State could no longer pay its debts, South Dakota, Rhode Island, and Ohio froze any travel to California, New York donated $600 million provided it was used to get the drunks and beggars off the streets, and Texas donated some old Street lights they'd removed in favour of solar, 14 northern States followed suit even though solar didn't work up there.

The Governor then levied a tax on Hollywood, and all hell........................