The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....and so the Governor sent California into Chapter 11.

Since the State could no longer pay its debts, South Dakota, Rhode Island, and Ohio froze any travel to California, New York donated $600 million provided it was used to get the drunks and beggars off the streets, and Texas donated some old Street lights they'd removed in favour of solar, 14 northern States followed suit even though solar didn't work up there.

The Governor then levied a tax on Hollywood, and all hell........................

 

....... broke loose, because in Chapters 12 & 13 he detailed his plans to merge Disney with Twitter, Sony with Google and CNN with the 4th pillar of Big Tech, Turbine Important Internet Stuff PLC (TIIS).

 

Mark, Jeff and Jack called Turbo who was too busy with the NES to talk to them at the time of their call & instructed his people to get back to their people, eventually (as Mark is a bit of a pain and often calls Turbo wanting tips and guidance [for free no less, as Marky is also a bit of a tightarse}), so they called Tubb back at a time of his choosing, just after he had knocked off his 2nd bottle of Grange, and  ...........

Edited June 27, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....then suddenly, Turbs realised that all hell had actually broken loose in Hollywood, as the entertainers complained loudly and publically that they already paid lots of taxes - and salaries - and also paid millions to a huge range of movie and entertainment support industries.

 

The response to this Hollywood tax revolt was for Arnie to come back out of retirement for the Governors position - publically stating, "I'M BAA-AACK!!"

Arnie gained his majority support by promising to repeal the Hollywood tax - something dear to his heart - because, as a former actor, he would be affected by the new tax, too.

 

As soon as he regained the Governorship, he did as he promised, repealed the Hollywood tax, reduced the cost of going to the movies, and offered more tax breaks to movie producers and stars.

Before long, California and Hollywood were the centre of the movie entertainment world once again, and the money flowed in like..............

 

Edited June 27, 2021 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

...............the crack in South LA.

 

The Stars all got their Challengers back out of Hock and Van Nuys came alive again. The lights came on in Vegas, and .......

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...............the crack in South LA.

 

The Stars all got their Challengers back out of Hock and Van Nuys came alive again. The lights came on in Vegas, and .......

 

.... Ann-Margret got another reprise to star in a remake, as that is all that Hollywood does these days, of Viva Las Vegas, Snow White and she will then play Whoopi's character of The Penguin plus the dual roles of Aretha Franklin & John Belushi in the remake of the The Blues Bros, which this time around will be called ......

Edited June 27, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....the Red Brothers, as America has swung too far to the left with the current Democrat wins, and Trump and his supporters want to see everything Red again.

 

However, Turbo, Cappy, OT, bull and CT9000 are all puzzled as to why the Trump cohort want everything Red, as Red is the colour of the dreaded Commies, and it should be the colour of their slavish followers, the Democrats.

 

It's obvious Trump and the Republicans want to keep everyone confused and off-balance - because making everything Red in America, is exactly what happens in China - where everything must be Red, to reflect the superiority of the Commie System.

 

OT has long suspected that Turbine Enterprises has a major shareholding in Red Paint manufacturers, but a search of share registries fails to provide any evidence of this. However, the Turbine Consortium is known for its opacity, and it's entirely possible other entities are being used to hide the Turbine shareholdings.

 

Some idea of the behind-the scenes alliances can be gleaned by the fact that its been found that Turbo has booked a seat at the next Trump rally, and since Donald has made a stunning comeback with his latest rally, Turbo is also apparently investing again in Trump condos, golf courses, and other........

[turboplanner]

......profitable ventures such as The Happy Polster. This Polling Company doesn't mess around talking to the Chucks, Bobbies, and Billies and the Sue-Ellens, Dianes and Ethels that make up Middle America, they just give the candidate what he wants to hear, he campaigns twice as hard,  so of course usually wins. Trump has bought into this package so the Democrats should be quaking in their shoes. It's a nice clean system, explained the Head of Turbine PR, ........

[CT9000]

....things as well like Trump cards {gambling ref} and the famous 56 card decks {another gambling ref} popular with fine decent up standing honest card sharks ..... sorry card players.....

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

......profitable ventures such as The Happy Polster. This Polling Company doesn't mess around talking to the Chucks, Bobbies, and Billies and the Sue-Ellens, Dianes and Ethels that make up Middle America, they just give the candidate what he wants to hear, he campaigns twice as hard,  so of course usually wins. Trump has bought into this package so the Democrats should be quaking in their shoes. It's a nice clean system, explained the Head of Turbine PR, ........

 

1 hour ago, CT9000 said:

....things as well like Trump cards {gambling ref} and the famous 56 card decks {another gambling ref} popular with fine decent up standing honest card sharks ..... sorry card players.....

 

The above 2 simultaneous yet divergent posts from Turbs and CT have left the brave Rat unusually flummoxed, as whichever he answers will result in the other being disappointed and beautiful friendships being quashed.

[turboplanner]

The rat always did have a yellow streak down his back, but history shows he would have managed to insult us both.

There's an old poem that shows us the way.

 

"Two men looking out through bars

One saw mud, the other stars"

 

So we can go with both leads.

 

.........Rudi Giuliani.

On of the press yelled out "Haven't you just been disbarred?"

"Yes", said Rudi, but I was sick of being a lawyer anyway. Your clients all lie to you and...............

 

.......you're a bunch of losers, as well as ...........................

 

 

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........Rudi Giuliani.

On of the press yelled out "Haven't you just been disbarred?"

"Yes", said Rudi, but I was sick of being a lawyer anyway. Your clients all lie to you and........

..... many are card players (Turbo is a black belt at "Go Fish" and the CT plays "Snap" with himself after each shot, while waiting for the bunnies to stick their heads out again), but the rest are a bunch of losers, as well as ...........

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...... you're a bunch of losers, as well as .........

 SO, DEAR READERS, THE YELLOW RAT (TYR) BRINGS THE NES BACK INTO HARMONY & ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The rat always did have a yellow streak down his back,

DEAR EEEANN. Based on the above evidence I would like to file a complaint against Turdboy, centered on this personal attack and the denigration of a fellow Forum Member ............ even if what he said above might be true.

 

Surely this deserves another holiday for the TurgidPlonker as he has form in this area.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....not paying their bills when they fall due. But I haven't been disbarred, only suspended! - and it's all a crock of shXX, anyway - that committee is full of DemonRats (at this, Ratty gasped under his breath) and they've got it in for us staunch Republicans and Trump supporters! The suspension will be overturned next week! I've never lost an appeal case yet! Besides, Donald will back me to the hilt and arrange to have those judges fired!"

 

As soon as the media vacated, Rudy was on the blower to his best mate, Turbo. "Turbs, ol' buddy, I need your help! Remember you promised to help me any time I was in trouble? Well, now I need your help like never before!"

 

Few NES readers know that Turbo owes a huge debt of gratitude to Rudy for getting him off a major felony charge when Turbo was arrested in NYC one time - many years ago.

It all started when Turbo shipped in a crate of...........

 

Edited June 29, 2021 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

......Barossa Pearl to a Republican function. At the time BP was the benchmark in fine wines in Australia, but by world standards you might as well have followed the cat around with a cup for a day. and the four Republicans he was to meet were Oil billionaires, one of them named Dick [No further ID:ASIO] who was in the market for some trucks for his oilfields - about a thousand trucks. When the main findraising meeting was over, and Turbo had promised $6 million more than Cappy had said he would donate, Turbo broke out the Barossa Pearl to this exclusive group. They all took one sip and started coughing, spitting, spluttering and ....................

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

When the main fundraising meeting was over, and Turbo had promised $6 million more than Cappy had said he would donate, Turbo broke out the Barossa Pearl to this exclusive group. They all took one sip and started coughing, spitting, spluttering and ..........

..... turned back to Cappy to say in one voice "This stuff isn't as good as your cask of Ben Ean (which is well known on the B&S circuit as "Virgin's Surrender" [VS}) and this resulted in the .....

 

CLARIFICATION - Ben Ean is not referring to Eeaan's friend Ben (who is actually Moderator 46). - MOD 4.

Edited June 30, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....Texas Oil Agreement 2021 in which Turbo handed over 15 cases of Ben Ean (delivered by Turbine Exotic Wines (TEW), and received an order for 1,000 trucks, and royalties on 15 oil wells in Los Indios which Turbo had agreed too dig for free. Turbo also picked up a small recreational aircraft [avref] manufacturing facility in Los Indios after Dick told him he was going to use it as a truck park. In production was a very slippery aircraft called the Toucan, and it ..................

[onetrack]

......looked like a winner for Turbo - until it was found the major subcontract component suppliers were based in Mumbai, Jakarta and Johannesburg. This was all done at the previous managements institution of major-cost cutting moves, in order to provide better returns to shareholders.

 

Naturally, the previous management rewarded themselves with huge salary increases, thanks to the companys huge profitability increase - even though, not a single aircraft had yet left the production line.

 

There appeared to be serious QC problems with all the components already supplied, and the pallet racking in the warehouse was chock-full to the rafters with component boxes marked "REJECTED".

Once Turbo found out about this problem, he set about trying to solve it, in the fastest and cheapest manner. This involved re-labelling the component boxes with new labels, reading.......

 

 

Edited June 30, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

22 minutes ago, onetrack said:

There appeared to be serious QC problems with all the components already supplied, and the pallet racking in the warehouse was chock-full to the rafters with component boxes marked "REJECTED".

Once Turbo found out about this problem, he set about trying to solve it, in the fastest and cheapest manner. This involved re-labelling the component boxes with new labels, reading.......

..... "EXPERIMENTAL" and the problem was solved, as no matter how crappy the quality, every AUF member lusts after an upgrade to an ......

Edited June 30, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........equivalent to a 1957 Piper Tri Pacer that cruises at 173 kts and carries 4 people and their baggage.

Cappy was quite keen on it, but as we know, some people carry more baggage than others.

Turbo methodically worked on the issues, and followed an old marketing princople "if your products stuffed, call it exquisite." He called the changes "Evolutions" one of the buzz words of the millenials which can mean anything.

By Evo37 the aicraft were flying nicely and the facility turned a profit at Evo52. Just when ........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........equivalent to a 1957 Piper Tri Pacer that cruises at 173 kts and carries 4 people and their baggage.

Cappy was quite keen on it, but as we know, some people carry more baggage than others.

Turbo methodically worked on the issues, and followed an old marketing princople "if your products stuffed, call it exquisite." He called the changes "Evolutions" one of the buzz words of the millenials which can mean anything.

By Evo37 the aicraft were flying nicely and the facility turned a profit at Evo52. Just when ........

...... the evolutions were running out of steam, Turbine Marketing came up with the pitch that Evo53 would be "re-imagined" (which really just meant that the props would be painted a different shade of black) with the result that sales then kicked up again and the aircraft was similar (some say identical) to a Norman Islander except it was subject to worse harmonics and was even more like sitting inside a bass drum being beaten by Keith Moon when high (avref).

 

Turbine Marketing subsequently came up with the new pitch of selling each aircraft with one or more free Haval utes (which were designed and made by Turbine Haval Utes Inc, a subsidiary of Turbine CCP Pty Ltd (respect to all CCP dictators past and present) and the .......

 

THE STAFF MEETING EACH MORNING AT TURBINE CCP P/L.

TURBO IS 15TH FROM THE LEFT.

Edited June 30, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....sales soared - for the first two months. On the third month, numerous buyers suddenly realised, the engines in their Haval utes were identical to the engines in their Evo52's - which provided the major reason why only 7% of the Evo52's still in existence, were still in running order.

 

When we say "still in existence", there appeared to be quite a number of Evo52's that caught fire mysteriously in hangers when unattended. Another sizeable number had doors and panels fall off - in flight.

 

When it was further revealed in the incident investigations, that the wiring harness in the Evo52 - and the doors - and a large number of body panels - were all shared with the Haval ute, that a collective roar of outrage was heard to develop amongst the Evo52 owners.

 

It wasn't looking good for Turbo right about that point, so he called up Scotty (the best marketing expert currently available - just look at the pups he's sold the Australian public!), and said, "Scotty ol' buddy, ol' maaa-aate! I've got a slight problem that needs your deft marketing touch! How can I.............

[Captain]

29 minutes ago, onetrack said:

How can I.........

..... get my Evo52 - Mk3 - Reimagining6 to sell again?"

 

"I know" said Scott "Sell each one with 2 Pfizer jabs (even if they are a little out of date like a stale bottle of oysters) and every AUF member over 70 (which is just about 100% of the AUF membership) will rush to your door ........ and when I say "jabs" I am referring to a needleref not an avref".

 

"Beauty & gotcha Scott, so hallelujah to the highest (avref) and I'll send you ...........

 

THE SALES MANAGER OF TURBINE CCP GIVING THANKS FOR SCOTT'S HELP.

Edited June 30, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

10 hours ago, Captain said:

"Beauty & gotcha Scott, so hallelujah to the highest (avref) and I'll send you ...........

 

THE SALES MANAGER OF TURBINE CCP GIVING THANKS FOR SCOTT'S HELP.

AND VERILY, I SAY UNTO THEE, THAT NO NESER WANTS TO RESPOND ON THE THREAD NOW THAT IT HAS TOUCHED ON THE HAPPY CLAPPY WHITE SUPREMACIST GROUPS, NOT TO MENTION THE RADICAL INSURECTIONISTS WITHIN THE C of E, THE METHODISTS AND THE PRESBYTERIANS (ALL OF WHOM ARE OVER 80 AND HAVE PURPLE OR BLUE HAIR) WHO KEEP ASIO ON THEIR TOES ON A WEEKLY BASIS LOOKING INTO THE ACTIVITIES AT THEIR TRAINING CAMP AT DG.

 

TURBINE RELIGIOUS BOOKS AND BOMB MAKING MANUALS PTY LTD ARE MAKING A FORTUNE ATM, INCLUDING THE SALES OF THEIR LATEST LINE OF BHM (BLUE HAIR MATTERS) SIGNS AND POSTERS.

Edited June 30, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......a pack of Siamese steaks.

Scotty was from marketing, and he had an uneasy feeling that Turbo might have just offered him something he'd regret, but Turbo had just helped him move 14 million doses of Pfizer vaccine with the subtle motto "Pfizer makes you Highzer"

 

The Evo52 MK3 started to sell as a result of the marketing campaign which included building BHM Community Hubs with Grant money and charging the old dears a membership fee which included all they could eat and flying lessons in the Evo52.

 

The Community Hubs were built at all the airfields which had been truggling and were desperate for work to there were no complaints when Turbine Labour Groups made them an offer fo $25/hour.

 

Things were humming along with the bomb making, Religious reading, Gun lessons and flying lessons. The ASIO guys, who had infiltrated the hubs as religious lecturers, motivational speakers, poles dancers and male strippers, observed that the BHM groups were becoming highly skilled to the point where they were talking less about "forgive thy neighbour" and more about what they'd do to that XXXX of an ex Husband, and ASIO realised they has a problem to fix so they came up with a solution called Operation Blue, and ............

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Things were humming along with the bomb making, Religious reading, Gun lessons and flying lessons. The ASIO guys, who had infiltrated the hubs as religious lecturers, motivational speakers, poles dancers and male strippers, observed that the BHM groups were becoming highly skilled to the point where they were talking less about "forgive thy neighbour" and more about what they'd do to that XXXX of an ex Husband, and ASIO realised they has a problem to fix so they came up with a solution called Operation Blue, and ........

........... bought up all the blue hair dye in OZ.

 

This buggered up Turbo's own hair colour regime, so he changed to puce, see below, which got him a lot of unanticipated action (he has always had the body for good "action" but his head has until now frightened off various admirers ....... hence Tubb's need to form Turbine Date-Rape Drugs PLC for his personal use).

 

The lack of blue dye also effected Salty, who had quite a different issue to OT when the dye disappeared off the shelves, so  .........  

 

 

TURBO IN HIS PUCE PHASE, FROM THE BACK (WHERE MOST OF HIS ACTION HAPPENS).

 

Edited July 2, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

truggling

The Yellow Rat is surprised at Turbo's public use of the term "truggling" given its extreme & depraved meaning within the LMBTQXYZ community where it is only used on the Dark Web and between consenting adults after a minimum of 20 hours of training & attendance at 2 LMBTQXYZ Human Fuctors Courses.

 

Thank goodness it has not been recognized & moderated so far, as that would have meant that the Wreck Flying Moderatti Illuminatti would have been into "truggling" and therefore unable to walk or write or type for days. 

Edited July 2, 2021 by Captain