The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

On 02/07/2021 at 10:39 AM, Captain said:

hence Tubb's need to form Turbine Date-Rape Drugs PLC for his personal use).

Just between us NESers so don't make it public, but Turbo is such a disaster in the looks and personality departments, that he needs to use these drugs on himself when he is alone and feeling frisky.

[turboplanner]

Turbo confirms there is no such company as referred to in Post # unnumbered. What happens is that whenever he is invited to Chez Capitan to a dinner cooked by his wife (a sufferer for 30 years), he carries a small bottle of indigestion tablets. Ir's as simple as that. 

Luckily, he hadn't had any invites lately,and he was focused on a memorial to the last of the "Fuzzy Wuzzies" of New Guinea, but the Australian troops around the family name of Drinkimupt or Eboni.

Turbo's grandfather was flying[avref] Dakotas on freight drops. Sometimes there were 400 feet dirt runways carved out with US Army Utility shovels by the Eboni family but mostly it was winding through the peaks of the OS as they used to call them until they reached the little flat clearing marked by the Drinkimupt family with a bull's pistle, and coming through the last two peaks at WOT under the machine guns of the Japanese. That didn't happen very often because Jock Drinkimupt would say "We put im Bibi leaf in Japo t." After the war the tribespeople had many meetings to discuss why the Dakotas didn't come any more with food clothing and petrol, which they had used to light their fires, dress and eat. It was those unexpected fires that led to them being called fuzzy wuzzies. Being skilled bird catchers, they decided that the best way to bring the Dakotas back was to build a decoy, and many were built in the mountains. This one, built by Ernie Drinkimupt and his brothers was particularly good, and attracted many aircraft of the same size. As you can see here it went on the form the basis for the design of the Jabiru with its high wing, tough undercarriage and ............

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

This one, built by Ernie Drinkimupt and his brothers was particularly good, and attracted many aircraft of the same size. As you can see here it went on the form the basis for the design of the Jabiru with its high wing, tough undercarriage and ...........

....... as you can see, the empennage is identical to that on the CT Super Sport Turbo – Rotax 914UL (even to the same extent of the unequal length of the horizontal stabilizers, the design of which counters the unique use of unequal propeller blade lengths), that has led to legal action being taken against the local witchdoctor, who is a Director of Turbine Cargo Cults NL, where ...... 

Edited July 3, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....the case is not going at all well for the RAPNG after the witchdoctor pointed the Cassowary bone at the RAPNG lawyer who immediately expired, and then turned to leer at the judge who immediately decided TCCNL were innocent of all charges and ducked under the bench where ...............

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....the case is not going at all well for the RAPNG after the witchdoctor pointed the Cassowary bone at the RAPNG lawyer who immediately expired, and then turned to leer at the judge who immediately decided TCCNL were innocent of all charges and ducked under the bench where ...............

.... there was a young .....

[turboplanner]

........there was a young janitor cleaning the floor. The judge grabbed the janitor's bucket of water and slid it across the floor.

It hit the witch doctor on his ankle bone, sending a spout of hot water up his grass skirt, scorching his fruit and making him drop the Cassowary bone. Turbo in a flash grabbed the bone pointed it at the WD and he dissolved. Turbo quickly slipped the bone into his pocket; it was to become the decidinf factor in many boardroom squabbles over the years, leading to .......

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........there was a young janitor cleaning the floor. The judge grabbed the janitor's bucket of water and slid it across the floor.

It hit the witch doctor on his ankle bone, sending a spout of hot water up his grass skirt, scorching his fruit and making him drop the Cassowary bone. Turbo in a flash grabbed the bone pointed it at the WD and he dissolved. Turbo quickly slipped the bone into his pocket; it was to become the decidinf factor in many boardroom squabbles over the years, leading to .......

...... at least fourty undefined and sudden boardroom vacancies.

 

This led to some wag coining the abbreviation "WD40", which took off in memes all over the interweb (even up in Remnark).

 

Turbs saw the opportunity and immediately jumped on that by forming Turbine Slippery Substances and Pentrants PLC (or the more catchy TSSAPPLC - registered in Panama [RiP]), a name which had all sorts of alternative & lewd connotations, such as  ..............

Edited July 4, 2021 by Captain

[CT9000]

.....should we trust those wonderful trustworthy people that caused the shortage of the blue / grey paint dye when they painted the Haval and Evo52 engines with the new Nissan 1200 stickers on top in the hope that this mostly honest sort of deceptive idea might somehow improve the reliability of the afore mentioned powerplants........

[turboplanner]

...........or should we just go for the usual deceptive sort of honest sort of deceptive idea of galvanising the blocks to hint that the bores never rus, and ................

[CT9000]

.......also maybeee think about that chrome over plastic lookalike turbo hanging on the side......

[Captain]

40 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

think about that chrome over plastic lookalike turbo

We all know that Turbo's head is pretty shiny, CT, but to call it "chromed", or to refer to his recent face-lift as "plastic" is perhaps going too far.

Edited July 4, 2021 by Captain

[CT9000]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

We all know that Turbo's head is pretty shiny, CT, but to call it "chromed", or to refer to his recent face-lift as "plastic" is perhaps going too far.

Captain you are a master at shifting gears but please don't drop me in the proverbial fecal matter. I get myself into enough trouble offending people on my own.

So back to NES .....but at least there are no Morry side valve engines involved. The upgrade to Nissan 1200 engines {even by a con job} must be an improvement in reliability. The fake turbo probably adds a few horsepower as well. Another thought just came up !!!!! we need to add one of those whistle thingys as well to complete the look...... 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, CT9000 said:

Captain you are a master at shifting gears but please don't drop me in the proverbial fecal matter. I get myself into enough trouble offending people on my own.

Worry not CT, as your description of Turbo was remarkably accurate & poignantly appropriate.

 

 

Edited July 4, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

2 hours ago, CT9000 said:

those whistle thingys as well to complete the look...... 

...... plus add one of those shonky power booster thingos that Brocky (respects etc) used to flog when things ......

[turboplanner]

........got a bit slow on the track.

Not many people know that what was inside the box was a ..........

 

[Regular NES readers will have noticed that th giant Rat has turned into a little yellow mouse with a bandaged hand. Cappy's wife  mentioned this transition every time saw Turbo, asking what she could do about it, but Turbo was diplomatic as always, sympathising with Cappy's problem]

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........got a bit slow on the track.

Not many people know that what was inside the box was a ........

.......... a brave mouse (Cappyref) that runs around inside the box pressing the contacts on an LED which indicates "More Power" on a sticker on the outside.

 

Cappy had taught Peter how to drive (and Jack too) and was well known in racing circles where he also taught Nicky about the dangers of fire (and the pitfalls of owning an airline (avref)) where ...........

 

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy's wife  mentioned this transition every time she saw Turbo, asking what she could do about it, but Turbo was diplomatic as always, sympathising with Cappy's problem

Turbo and Cappy have been best mates for about 50 years and have always helped each other with money, support & advice when needed (Cappy was a cornerstone investor in several of the Turbine Industries initiatives). Cappy also thinks it is lovely, as Turbo confirms above, that Turbs meets Mrs Cappy every few weeks for a few hours (sometimes they talk for over half a day, so that's nice when Turbo is as busy as he is) to discuss the meaning of life and a few other things which must mean a lot to her, as she always comes home relaxed, happy, smelling of Old Spice and sometimes with her hair a bit ruffled. But Cappy has always trusted his best mate and is certain that Turbo would never do the wrong thing .......... although Cappy also notes that Turbo has never been a great conversationalist with him, which is also proven by his posts in Wreck Flying. 

Edited July 4, 2021 by Captain

[CT9000]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

.......... a brave mouse (Cappyref) that runs around inside the box pressing the contacts on an LED which indicates "More Power" on a sticker on the outside.

 

Cappy had taught Peter how to drive (and Jack too) and was well known in racing circles where he also taught Nicky about the dangers of fire (and the pitfalls of owning an airline (avref)) where ...........

 

Turbo and Cappy have been best mates for about 50 years and have always helped each other with money, support & advice when needed (Cappy was a cornerstone investor in several of the Turbine Industries initiatives). Cappy also thinks it is lovely, as Turbo confirms above, that Turbs meets Mrs Cappy every few weeks for a few hours (sometimes they talk for over half a day, so that's nice when Turbo is as busy as he is) to discuss the meaning of life and a few other things which must mean a lot to her, as she always comes home relaxed, happy, smelling of Old Spice and sometimes with her hair a bit ruffled. But Cappy has always trusted his best mate and is certain that Turbo would never do the wrong thing .......... although Cappy also notes that Turbo has never been a great conversationalist with him, which is also proven by his posts in Wreck Flying. 

.......differing opinions may polarize { P Brock ref} various positions on the benefits of such add on devices and may even upset the sponsors.......

[turboplanner]

.........Cappy used his own experience with his One Wing Airlines which had just gone around in circles until it splashed down owing Reg Ansett millions of pounds, and forced Reg to do a deal with the much bigger and flashier Australian National Airlines (respects to staff past and present) which offered a smoking ceremony at the door, courtesy the big radial engines, and fried yams and grubs for lunch. It was ANA which ........................

 

.......who are always in it to make a dollar too, and Cappy was thinking of setting up a factory to make Polarizer sunglasses, that's just the way he is until ..................

Edited July 5, 2021 by turboplanner

[Captain]

48 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........Cappy used his own experience with his One Wing Airlines which had just gone around in circles

The Rat thought that he was on a winner with OWA as he had pioneered a Round the World service (although it was inefficient as the aircraft had to side-slip all the way in order to fly straight) and his moto was RTW with OWA, but then Pan Am tumbled to the lurk of one way RTW and OWA experienced their 1st commercial pressure, plus passengers eventually favoured aircraft with 2 wings (the public are dills).

 

48 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......who are always in it to make a dollar too, and Cappy was thinking of setting up a factory to make Polarizer sunglasses, that's just the way he is until .......

..... he realised that being a polarizing figure (Turboref) was different to what was needed for Polarizing Lenses, and with that Ratty's OPSM (ROPSM) was borne and has been paying his ........ 

Edited July 5, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.............lunch bills for several years. Turbo's lunches are legend with the Czars of Indusry, Federal Ministers el al getting a snout in the through, and after a couple of hours.......................

[Captain]

13 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo's lunches are legend ... a snout in the trough, and after a couple of hours

And that is apparently what Mrs Cappy enjoys so much too, during her "discussions" with Turbs.

Edited July 5, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

42 minutes ago, Captain said:

And that is apparently what Mrs Cappy enjoys so much too, during her "discussions" with Turbs.

........who told Cappy he'd never seen Mrs Cappy at one of these luncheons; that the only woman with silver heair he'd seen was Bob Chatterly's mother who used to visit quite frequently about the same time he was greeting visitors up at the house, a half mile away, although ..................

[CT9000]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........who told Cappy he'd never seen Mrs Cappy at one of these luncheons; that the only woman with silver heair he'd seen was Bob Chatterly's mother who used to visit quite frequently about the same time he was greeting visitors up at the house, a half mile away, although ..................

......half a mile is still a long way in a Haval ute with an un reliable engine even if the engine is painted Nissan blue with a 1200 badge on the top.........

[Captain]

47 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

on the top.........

Mrs Cappy likes Turbo for that too. Just say'n.

[turboplanner]

..........and even further with the 1200 badge denoting the Haval must be pulled by 1200 Chinese men at the trot. The problem came when they all started talking about last nights basball game, and ..................