Captain Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 .. ..-. .- --. ..-- .. ... ---- ..... .-...---..-.--..--..-.-..---..... (& apologies for the bad language)
turboplanner Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 ....-..__;Slarti;.._.]..spotted,---;,,i..... if you get my drift...
turboplanner Posted April 8, 2009 Posted April 8, 2009 We are now more than half way to 2000 posts. Seems only a short time thatsome devious but lukcy poster celebrated 1000.
Captain Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 We are now more than half way to 2000 posts. Seems only a short time thatsome devious but lukcy poster celebrated 1000. The race is on, Tink, as if I can get post # 2000, in addition to my proven performance with post#1000, I have been told that I get to keep the Forum. "I've had 2000" said Nanna, "This year, so far." "Did you take offence at SlartiHotRocks calling you a RAT in that other thread?" asked McLocks. "No worries" replied Le Crapper "I've been called worse than that before, in fact when I bought a BMW a few years ago, even my old father reckoned I looked like "a Rat with a Gold Tooth", so how cruel was that". "Thanks goodness SlartiButtCrack doesn't know about my ........
turboplanner Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 "Thanks goodness SlartiButtCrack doesn't know about my ........ "...HotCrossBunsRUs venture or he'd be calling me KingRat. I couldn't help it that security was slack at the RA tent and Ian kept looking out for the hordes of nubile blondes after reading Turbo's very well concocted story. "The Jab was bulging with buns on the way home, and somewhat down from its 115 kts at 4200 rpm, but we made it with the stock, and tomorrow in the main street of WGA it's going to be Bun On!. "I know I'm on to something here because BigPete has developed a fetish for iced hot cross buns, so there'll be no problem disposing of the old stock. But there was just one problem for DPR (DownPipeRat)....
Captain Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 But there was just one problem for DPR (DownPipeRat).... ... for the Rat had a good squizz at SlartiSelfA*use's hand puppet yesterday (while being careful not to touch it without surgical gloves) and it appears to have been used and soiled at some time in the recent past, so the Skipper didn't dare to discuss what can be done with microwaved warm Hottie Buns. Tubb replied "Yes, you can ................
turboplanner Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Tubb replied "Yes, you can ................ "....draw the conclusion about microwaved hot cross buns, but I happen to know he always drops in at the Kentucky fried shop after work, goes down to the now sold for development air precint and pretends to fly, just sitting there making brm brm noises while he eats his 7 pieces, so a lot of chicken fat drips on to the controls, and that's what leads to people commenting on his slipery flight style" "However, Capitan, I have to tell you that after you left Narrowmind, some evil people dubbed you the Natfly Rat. "has a ring to it, and we'll keep it for future use, but I, your friend, pointed out to Ian that it was the epitome of what a professional pilot should do in the face of uncertain weather, and we shouild wait to see how many wheat farmers have new furrows in their paddocks by Easter Monday." There was screaming at Natfly, where Ian had just offered buttered hot cross buns and tea to President Eugene Wingover and his entourage, reached into the packet and realised Capitan, while oozing all over him yesterday, had pinched the lot for his new venture.... There was also trouble at Wagga Wagga International Airport (two RPT's per day), as Capitan, after responding to a call of nature while showing his card to the ASIC inspector, began unpacking hot cross buns into a couple of old pig feed bags in readiness for tomorrow's market. There seemed to be a lot less than he'd loaded...... He looked towards the terminal;there seemed to be some sort of commotion.... For the first time ever the ASIC Inspector, who'd been demoted from CCTV controller at Kingsford Smith Airport after being found to be a bikie's moll, had discovered an intruder.... "What is your name", he said, face going red, two day growth standing on end, purple nose and jowls twitching. "Mahatma Koti", said the obviously Indian genetleman PCers - he had an I love India T Shirt on) with the belly full of buns. "I've just come from the Bunjab" repled Mahatma "How did you get past immigration" said the ASIC Inspector "I've lived here for thirty years" said Mahatma, I have passport and all papers. Sensing he may have made a mistake the Inspector went back to firm grounds: "Where's your ASIC Card?" he asked with a slef serving smile on his face. "Oh goodness gracious me, there's no problem, I was on my way to Brunswick to get one" he said "Why Brunswick?" asked the Inspector cautiously because the pricks in admin changed the rules so many times this might be the new retail outlet. "I was told to go to Brunswick by my cousin, and ask for Malarkos Kotsas (no relation), and he'd print one for me and sixteen for the rest of my family so we could come and go any time", said Mahatma. And that, NES friends shows how ASIC slackness at an airport like Narrowmind can lead to undesirables infiltrating Wagga Wagga, training location to the stars, and rumored soon to be used by NASA for space launches...
Captain Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 "....draw the conclusion about microwaved hot cross buns, but I happen to know he always drops in at the Kentucky fried shop after work, goes down to the now sold for development air precint and pretends to fly, just sitting there making brm brm noises while he eats his 7 pieces, so a lot of chicken fat drips on to the controls, and that's what leads to people commenting on his slipery flight style" "However, Capitan, I have to tell you that after you left Narrowmind, some evil people dubbed you the Natfly Rat. "has a ring to it, and we'll keep it for future use, but I, your friend, pointed out to Ian that it was the epitome of what a professional pilot should do in the face of uncertain weather, and we shouild wait to see how many wheat farmers have new furrows in their paddocks by Easter Monday." There was screaming at Natfly, where Ian had just offered buttered hot cross buns and tea to President Eugene Wingover and his entourage, reached into the packet and realised Capitan, while oozing all over him yesterday, had pinched the lot for his new venture.... .... of scraping the crosses off them and turning them into Cream Buns. "There is a 47.6% margin in them if you use recycled cream (no sly comment needed there) and Rec. Flying Buns" replied the Natfly Rat (of should that read the Nat Fly-Rat?). "One of the things that prompted the Rat's decision yesterday was that Cockies were out ploughing on some properties between YSWG and YNRM as he smoothly winged his way north, and when they are investing diesel that early in the morning, they often know that weather is on the way" he said in his own defence after being called a Natfly Woose Rat by some unkind old Mexican codger with a broken outboard. "Don't say that about the Crapp Rat" said ................ Ooops - The TurboRat has snuck in an edit after the SkippRat did a quote. Sneaky, eh? The pen of may Aunt is poised to be inserted, after she took offence at the attacks on her nephew.
turboplanner Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 "Don't say that about the Crapp Rat" said ........... ..the bikie's moll, "they called him Nat Fly Rat for a while because he ran right through Natfly with his fly open. Some wanted to report him to the Federal Police, but others said it was no big deal. But Mahatma Koti was just beginning to find out what powers an ASIC inspector possessed.....
Captain Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 ..the bikie's moll, "they called him Nat Fly Rat for a while because he ran right through Natfly with his fly open. Some wanted to report him to the Federal Police, but others said it was no big deal. But Mahatma Koti was just beginning to find out what powers an ASIC inspector possessed..... 'It's a bit of a problem, Mr Koti, when you forget to zip up after you have been to the carzy, like the Rat did yesterday" said the Inspector "But it's an even bigger problem when you forget to unzip before you go, like the TurboPiddler does" "Oh, crikey" said Koti-san " He told me he had spilt a drink down his front". "He did" said the Inspector "But he had strained it thru his kidneys, first" "Does that mean that the TurboP is incontinent?" ask Ahlow. "No" replied the Rat 'Just forgetful" ..... (Just like he forgot to put oil in his 2-stroke fuel.) "And the other stains on his dacks are from .....
turboplanner Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 "And the other stains on his dacks are from ..... ...the oil well which just came in", said Nanna. "We knew if we told anyone we were drilling for oil at Booligal there would be a rush of graziers, recflys and biker molls trying to shift our pegs, so we just shut up, and now we've got the money, and we're about to share it aout with our friends like BigPete." "What's that you've been saying about me and Turbo?" asked Nanna rhetorically and Natfly Rat's heat sank. BigPete who had been nursing his grandchildren on his knees ans watching an old Gregpry Peck movie threw one out the window, and the baby into the sink (caution:don't try this at home grandfathers) Without any preflight checks and with the tie ropes still firmly anchored he set off for Booligal.....
Tomo Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Without any preflight checks and with the tie ropes still firmly anchored he set off for Booligal..... "......... and with a quick burst of power, the 10yr old rotten cotton ropes broke nicely...Ah...he said, you see that's an old trick of mine, saves me quite some time not having to worry about untie-ing the silly things...(of course he was only trying to make himself look good from forgetting!) Out on the runway he instrument paneled the throttle, but there seemed something wrong...i_dunno the airspeed hasn't come up yet?....ah well, must be a gusty tail wind.......so on he plods, until next thing he knows its in the air....that's strange?? no airspeed but where flying quite nicely.... then low and behold he see's a red thing flick out of the corner of his eye......Oh........what does it say on that?.... I can't quite see, (probly should put me glasses on, but I read somewhere that when you crash wearing steel rimed spectaculars it could really hurt, so I leave them off now a days, although it does make it hard to judge the distance from the runway when coming it to land, but I don't let that worry me, Until I have to)....."Remove before Flight" ......................... --------------------------- Flow's on quite nicely I thought......
turboplanner Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 "Remove before Flight" .... ......"Geeeeeeezus!" yelled BigPete and his face turned white. He grimaced, exposing his huge tobacco stained teeth and wondered what to do next. Without an ASI (avation term+ acronyn - 10 points for Turbo), it would be impossible to land this thing. Like a lost space shuttle the Jab flew over the rough saltbush country towards Booligal where, after it hadn't rained the cracks in the clay often swallowed merino rams........
ahlocks Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 "Attitude and power. Attitude and power." BigPete :star: kept repeating quietly too himself in defiance of Tomo's attempt to sink him for not removing the remove before flight things. "Hmmm.." pondered LovaK as an aside. "Would taking flight without removing 'remove before flight' things, and attaining an uneventful outcome to said flight, prove that Jabiru(e)s don't actually fly but rather, the earth just repels them?" :clown::devil: "Attitude and power. Attitude and power." repeated BigPete.:star: "I've got the right attitude! :thumb_up: I'm gunna pull this off (minds out of the gutter! :yuk:) just to stick it up TinCanSam!" "But I really wish I had one of those Rotaryaxe :broken_heart: buzz boxes, just so I could feel the power through the seat of my pants." With a deft flick of the wrist and ever mindful of the sheep swallowing cracks :raise_eyebrow:, BigPete..... ============ The aunt in the garden should be sheltering from the noisy grey clouds
Captain Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 With a deft flick of the wrist and ever mindful of the sheep swallowing cracks :raise_eyebrow:, BigPete..... .... stayed with his wholesome Easter family gathering of his lovely nippers and cute little grandnippers, without any thoughts of matters aviation, or cracks, or the Turbopiddler, or poor pre-flight checking, or the Iraq-like Booligal Oilfield. "You've been good this weekend" said the Chewka Mayor. 'Yes mate" said PointsRackerPete "I'm racking up points in preparation for the Anzac Weekend, when Slartioutonthetiles, Ahldebaucherlochs, the Turboplayer-upper, HotBunsIan, DuraGeoff and the CappRat will be here to take the town apart and do some pillaging." "We'd better lock up our daughters" replied the mayor. "None of 'em can handle anything under 45 (although Ahlow and Slotti still fancy their prowess), so its the town's Nannas that will mainly be in danger, and we also need the council to put 3 portable dunnies between each Pub, so that when we do a pub-crawl, Tubb will stay (reasonably) dry (he flows but not always on cue)." But what about .... And welcome Tomo. Get stuck in so that we can pick on you too. Two of 'em are replying at once, so this should be interesting?????
turboplanner Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 But what about .... ...the damage they'll do to Echuca, Church City" said the Mayor who was always thinking up new ways to promote his town. With a rat like twist to his whiskers, and the faint gleam of a gold tooth the Rat said "Don't worry Grandad, the place was in need of a good rip up"....
Tomo Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 BigPete..... Is wide open to idea's at getting this fantastic plastic machine on the ground with out disappearing down a merino swallowing crack.......!:confused: and without any airspeed indication:sad::confused: Fortunately though...........
turboplanner Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Turbo was there to save the day, beating cappo and Loks
Captain Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Is wide open to idea's at getting this fantastic plastic machine on the ground with out disappearing down a merino swallowing crack.......!:confused: and without any airspeed indication:sad::confused: Fortunately though........... His bonce was like a Garmin GPS. When it worked it could estimate GS to 3 decimal places ....... although for some of the time it said "RAM error, please reboot and check your hemisphere". "I aim to check out a few Echuca "Hemispheres" when I am down there on the 25th, so if the tent is a rock'n, I'll be a knock'n" said ...............
turboplanner Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 I aim to check out a few Echuca "Hemispheres" when I am down there on the 25th, so if the tent is a rock'n, I'll be a knock'n" said ............... Big2$ while admitting it would be with a piece of 2" pipe for the nose leg, engine mounts made from a Coles shoppng trolley, and no fabric on the top side of the wings (Bernoulli was only an Italian peasant). Caroline caught the bus for Swan Hill.....
Tomo Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 And welcome Tomo. Get stuck in so that we can pick on you too. Thanks muchly for the welcome Capitan.....I just couldn't help it any longer.......see how long I can last.... (thought that was a rather appropriate, seeing that your gonna pick me to bits.....;))
Captain Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Caroline caught the bus for Swan Hill..... .... (again) and Ahlocks buggered off before posting. There must be a lock to be picked or a residence to save. "What's little Benny Oulli got to do with anything" said the Lass 'I went to school with him and he had a high pressure area between his ears. Same with that Py Thagorus bloke who was a year ahead of me and always wanted me to measure something with an excuse that he wanted me to "square" it and then he expected me to square root, (but my Mum told me not to and she would sort it out)". Don't ............. No worries Tomo. We are taught at school to feel sorry for Queenslanders, & after all, J's are made up there. PS ... We'll get to #2000 tonight at this rate.
turboplanner Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Don't ............. ...ever tie down an aircraft with cotton rope", said Avlovak, for he had picked that Tomo was a cotton picker who picked cotton, and knew a thing or two about cotton wool. In fact Tomo, who normally preferred speaking in Morse Code rather then English, and who came from the place made famous by a well hung ram, was busy working in partnership with Slartipants designing a landing gear, for Sheeters, using cotton wool.....
Captain Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 ...ever tie down an aircraft with cotton rope", said Avlovak, for he had picked that Tomo was a cotton picker who picked cotton, and knew a thing or two about cotton wool. In fact Tomo, who normally preferred speaking in Morse Code rather then English, and who came from the place made famous by a well hung ram, was busy working in partnership with Slartipants designing a landing gear, for Sheeters, using cotton wool..... .... as it will be softer than your hand puppet when wrapped around your .........
Tomo Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 .... as it will be softer than your hand puppet when wrapped around your ......... Only if you gin the cotton first will it be softer around your.............face when sleeping on it.... ---------------- Advised Tomo..... Ps. Actually we where taught to feel sorry for you southerners, because you have the weight of Qld on top of you.....!
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