The Never Ending Story

[CT9000]

......a sense of indestructability and willingness to accept the inevitable smashed hand broken fingers etc. as any one that has tried a crank handle would know,   if the timing is just a fraction out pain is near.....

[Captain]

.......... stratospheric unless you practice the art of ........ 

[onetrack]

.....subtle application of 1/4 choke, a handbrake check, a brick on the accelerator, and some chalk dust on the hands to ensure the handle slid smoothly through the arc.

It went well for Cappy, and he got the Vanguard started on the first upward 180° pull. "It was all my Hillman starting experience that did it!", he proudly exclaimed as the Judges handed him the Crank Starting Trophy.

 

But then Cappy realised he still had the pilots uniform sitting on the back seat of the Hillman, and his tailor was waiting. He was off like a shot, throwing the Trophy carelessly onto the back seat, on top of the uniform!

When he got to the tailors, Cappy was horrified to find the cheap silver finish on the Chinese-made Trophy had smeared itself all over his pilots uniform!

 

What was he going to do now?! He couldn't wear the uniform looking like that! All the girls would laugh at him, not flock to him! He walked into the tailors in despair, and said, "Look.........

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, onetrack said:

What was he going to do now?! He couldn't wear the uniform looking like that! All the girls would laugh at him, not flock to him! He walked into the tailors in despair, and said, "Look........

......., I know what get the ladies going, so make me look like a Tasmanian Flight Instructor and AUF President, therefore I want xxxx'n braid, lots of gold braid and a zipper on my jump suit that goes all the way down past my .........

 

27 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....subtle application of 1/4 choke,

"Geeeez they do their cranking the hard way in WA" said bull with respect "As a 1/4 choke and # 6 shot will fairly xxxx the old Vanguard."

Edited July 29, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........." and the tailor said "Sorry Sir, there's not much I can do for that paunch" Cappy flared "No this!" and pointed to the silver finish all over his epaulettes.

 

In a jiffy, the tailer spayed them back to a glowing gold with dry cleaning fluid.

As he entered the room he noticed that nearby girls were sniffing, but not in a nice way.

WreckFlyne's fmous Epaulette was on the nose, and ............

[Captain]

And so, loyal NESers are yet again divided on which post to reply to. This is posing Covid-like consternation worldwide and Melbournistan is going into another lockdown as a result ...... just because Dan can ......... and Turbo stands with Dan.

[turboplanner]

com in recommending a dandruff treatment which goves you a dandruff free scalp in one application. Dan.com is a Diversity Partner, and Dan.com can be confidently used by women and chldren as well as men. Dan.com is also a susptainable industry, the product being supplied by parent company Turbine Sump Inc. which collects ................

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

com in recommending a dandruff treatment which gives you a dandruff free scalp in one application. Dan.com is a Diversity Partner, and Dan.com can be confidently used by women and children as well as men. Dan.com is also a sustainable industry, the product being supplied by parent company Turbine Sump Inc. which collects ................      Please note corrections here to Turbo's crappy smelling.

...... the run-off from various Covid Press Conferences and converts that brown slime into a wonderful and useful dandruff killer.

 

There are some risks of course, but as Turbo often says, if the vaccines don't need to be medically approved or efficacious, why should I have to worry about a few .......

Edited July 29, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........bits of aluminium and steel in sump oil, or ..............

[CT9000]

.......even a few bits of lead in the under ground mutton sandwiches........... 

[Captain]

........ which thru the promotional skills of Turbine Promotions and Hyping PLC, have now become de rigueur for Xmas dinners, which means that CT Rabbit Industries P/L with their processing facility at Darraweit Guim but headquartered in Bourke St in the CBD of Melbournistan (who will now not accept any order from a family of 4 of less that 10 pairs of hoppers) are bigger on the ASX than Bega Cheese and Peanut Butter Inc and have even started to expand into Bunny Cheese and ........... 

Edited July 30, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....GrassEater fur, holding Fashion Parades Online and also in the flesh, but you ....................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....GrassEater fur, holding Fashion Parades Online and also in the flesh, but you ....................

........ wouldn't want to know, that CT Events Corp (which has now taken 80% of the business away from Turbine Planned Public or Social Occasions Pty Ltd (ASX code TPPoSOPL, whose shares have crashed as a result) have now received approval to hold a Gay Liporidae & Lepus Mardi Gras (NTTIAWWTBTW), which commences in Moorabbin and continues down ..............

 

Late mail - CT Events have been approached by the IOC to run the Brisbane Olympics in 2032.

Edited July 30, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....to Frankston which is Cappy's hideout when  he's in Melbourne, where it's ear rings for the men and nose rings for the women, mullets and moccasins, and plenty of ............

Cappy on the left, CT on thr right - Source: Alamy

 

Edited July 31, 2021 by turboplanner

[onetrack]

.....body painting to hide the rude bits for the performers who parade in the nude.  However, Cappy manages to get by in the Parade with just a large were-rabbit costume, whilst carrying an inappropriately-shaped carrot and making rude gestures with said carrot - whilst frightening witless any children who had hoped to see a cuddly bunny, carrying an Easter Egg hamper.

 

Of course, whilst Cappy is not involved in the nude performance section of the parade, it doesn't stop him from..........

 

(and here, dear NES readers, is a  snapshot of Cappy performing in the Gay Liporidae & Lepus Mardi Gras - notice how he has hidden the rude carrot while the camera is on him ......)

 

 

 

Edited July 31, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

...... inappropriately touching an empennage (avref) or 2, which ......

[turboplanner]

.............cannot be described here in this august journal because it contains an aviation reference which cold confuse readers who primarily come here for advice on food, medical issues and politics. However it is similar to a ...........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

............. cannot be described here in this august journal because it contains an aviation reference which could confuse readers who primarily come here for advice on food, medical issues and politics. However it is similar to a ...........

...... location where OT's big bunny had hidden the carrot. (Ref ... see the photo of Onesie's rabbit just 3 posts prior to this and consider the expression on his face which, I submit to the court, indicates exactly where the carrot had been inserted).

 

Aviation references (avref) have been in short supply since the GL&LMG (NTTIAWWTBTW) event had been announced and, by coincidence, that has also led to an outbreak of self ab.........

Edited July 31, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

.......sorbed behaviour, as evidenced by the huge proliferation of internet influencers, sales of selfie sticks, a large increase in media "entertainers", and even extending to Presidential bad behaviour.

 

This upsurge in self-absorption was nowhere more evident than in the Gay Liporidae & Lepus Mardi Gras, where Cappy was intent on extracting as much personal attention as he could engineer.

 

This led to him constantly gatecrashing media interviews, flaunting himself in front of any camera he spotted, and regularly crying out, "Look at Me! Look at Me! Look at Me!!"

 

However, this grating behaviour finally got too much for the assembled crowd, and it wasn't long before a grumpy old man took a swipe at the Were-Rabbit, whereupon a large part of his costume fell off, exposing.........

 

Edited July 31, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, onetrack said:

However, this grating behaviour finally got too much for the assembled crowd, and it wasn't long before a grumpy old man took a swipe at the Were-Rabbit, whereupon a large part of his costume fell off, exposing.........

...... his left one.

 

"It's a wardrobe failure" he yelled defensively "Just like Janet had, except that mine is .......

 

 

A REMINDER ABOUT JANET'S (NTTIAWWT).

Edited August 1, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........a fake, and disappears when I pull this string, and with that Cappy looked the picture of innocence, but the large part of his costume had done the damage when it fell off amd exposed the Cook family birthmark which showed conclusively that Cappy was .....................

[Captain]

..... hermaphroditic, and had a big .......

Edited August 1, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

......thing about piercings, and tattoos, and jewellery "down there". The audience were horrified, and screamed for the cops to take away the dreadful sight, that offended even the hardiest Mardi Gras attendee.

 

So Const Doubtfire promptly attended, and upon spotting Cappy displaying his hermaphroditic (how does Cappy find these huge words?) bits, as well as his shocking, brazen, offensive tatts, and dangling, clanking jewellery, she said ......

[Captain]

..... "How the heck does he pierce THAT, and THOSE, without them springing a leak or ..........

Edited August 1, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....taking off [avref].

And then she said "You realise I'm going to have to give you a ticket for Obscene behaviour", and Cappy turned white (he was normally coffee coloured, a product of his Pacific past.) as he realised the Wagga Wagga Business Advancement Association members and the Gumley Gumley hopscotch club would find out he was obscene and a disgrace to Wagga Wagga, that fine upstanding Rivereina City where the worst offence to day had only been ................