The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.... as it will be softer than your hand puppet when wrapped around your .........

...undercarriage.

 

Meanwhile back at Wagga Wagga the ASIC inspector had Mahatma Koti wrapped in a head lock. Although there were two Feds in the terminal, they had rushed out the back as soon as trouble erupted, leaving the hard work to the Inpsector, who also worked part time at the dog pound.

 

After a four hour interrogation during which Mr Koti admitted getting a false passport through his cousin Mahatma Pantis, and using Narromind to enter the country during Easter since there were more backs to be turned, and judging by Le Crappe,s photos (the 2007 event for those of you who hadn't noticed), little chance of being recorded, the ASIC inspector turned his wrath on the slackarsed bunch of clowns in charge of security at Natfry 2009.

 

He commandeered Cap's bun ridden Jab at flew into Narowmind at 113 knots.

 

The boys all came out clapping and cheering, thinking the Rat had returned, but as the ASIC inspector marched toward the metallic blue overalled President Eugene, they realised the easy going days were over......

 

 

[ahlocks]

.... (again) and Ahlocks buggered off before posting. There must be a lock to be picked or a residence to save.

Waaaah!!!

 

LovaK had a really good smarta:censored:e post, all composed and spell checked and ready to go, when all hell broke loose!! (the 'puter chucked a tantrum )

 

...we where taught to feel sorry for you southerners, because you have the weight of Qld on top of you.....!

No need to fell sorry Tomo! :raise_eyebrow: We southerners are used to carrying the weight ...i_dunno

 

==============

 

Be afraid Drifter boy! :devil: Fresh meat! Bwah hahaha :devil::devil::devil:

 

 

[turboplanner]

Turbo was up early, having bought a little puppy :heart: (12 Jab flys) which usually crapped on the lounge room floor about this time of day, so on the one hand he was pleased he had beaten it to the punch so to speak, but on the other he was finding it difficult to work out where the flow went from the Lovaks post of last night.

 

So he decided on a Turboblog.

 

Yesterday hadn't been so good. Easter had been set aside to build new Boxerproof fencing (6 Jab flys), but Turbo had been slipping inside to answer the rapier sharp wit of Capitan.

 

At one stage the post hole digger had cut into the main sewer pipe, so Turbo placed a piece of rubber over the hole, placed the long handle shovel so it squeezed the rubber on to the hole, then added some quickset (sets in 12 minutes) and raced inside to be faced by a particularly barbed comment that he apparently was incontinent. Like Lovaks he had written a superb rebuttal, but pressed the wrong button and it disappeared.

 

He became engrossed in writing a new post but they are never as good and finally he gave up.

 

Out in the garden to greet him was a shovel firmly standing upside down so, taking a leaf out of the Bigglesworth construction Manual he made a post out of it.

 

He hadn't been flying lately and, living in the Moorabbin (sorry YMMMB) training area, the dozens of students seemd to be picking his house for forced landings and really rubbing it in.

 

It had been a bad year really - Outboard 1 seizing (58 Jab flys), Outboard 2 seizing (29 flys), Vet bills (33 flys), and so it went on.

 

Then he had to read the cutting comment of Morsecodetomcat.

 

"It was true" he thought, that Queensland was a weight that we southerners had to carry on our shoulders.

 

"We nearly got rid of them in WW2 when we set up the Brisbane line" he thought, "but typically the Army HQ forgot to tell the 150 Chocos fighting the 2500 Japanese on the Kokoda Trail (only the Port Moresby based loafers called it Track) to call a meeting with the Japanese and invite them to take over Queensland.

 

(Secret Maps released 50 years aftrer hostilities indicated the "Brisbane" line was a myth - the line generally followed the NSW border but included some NSW towns which had been giving trouble.)

 

For the young, Chocos or Chocolate Soldiers were the weekend volunteer troops, not regular army, and they were expected to melt like chocolate in any real battle. Some Chocolate!

 

Just think of it:

 

There would be no Cuddy Station, so Adelaide residents would not have to drink sheep urine.

 

Queenslanders would have to bow to the rest of us.

 

Japanese cars would be a lot cheaper.

 

There would be more Japanese tourists spending money in the southern States.

 

And Tomo, you would be flying a Zero crop sprayer....

 

 

[Captain]

"We nearly got rid of them in WW2 when we set up the Brisbane line" he thought, "but typically the Army HQ forgot to tell the 150 Chocos fighting the 2500 Japanese on the Kokoda Trail (only the Port Moresby based loafers called it Track) to call a meeting with the Japanese and invite them to take over Queensland.

(Secret Maps released 50 years aftrer hostilities indicated the "Brisbane" line was a myth - the line generally followed the NSW border but included some NSW towns which had been giving trouble.)....

..... however under recent Freedom of Information legislation, the researcher Rat can reveal that in WW2 the OZ Gov't offered Qld to the Japanese ..... for free ..... and they knocked it back.

 

"What you think we are? ......... sirry?" said a spokesman for the Emperor 'If we take it, where are you southerners going to send those people that are searching for the "good life" using the slogan "Ah Qld, raining one day, humid the next".

 

'Where else in OZ can we get that magical combination of 99 F & 99% humidity?"

 

"But we can start a "Fungus Farm" said Sam Suzuki.

 

'Not if .................

 

Addendum ............ for the Rat was up early to do the same thing that Tubb's pup was contemplating (but not in the loungeroom), and can add to his above post by saying that Qld is, however, a great place to park relatives between Christmasses ................ as are Coffs Harbour, Port Macquarie, Lorne & Victor Harbour.

 

Addendum 2 .......... the Turbodigger should have used the free Dial Up info service which operates under the acronym DBYDYD (Dial Before You Dig, You Dropkick)

 

 

[Tomo]

You know one thing i noticed most about you Mexican's when we wenta south to havea holiday a yr or so back......first of all, you have these gross yellow number plates...disgusting!!thumb_down......Second; nearly everyone we saw driving a manual vehicle would think they filled up with some of that kanggarrooo juice, jerking at every gear change.....we take pride in driving smoothly.....:thumb_up:

 

And not to mention you've got to reverse park:loopy: all good for take off, but we saw a lot of dinted rear's:laugh:

 

So I don't mind it up hear at all........even if you've got to pay $4 for 600mls of water....don't know what they where thinking selling it for that much.......Maybe it was turps..? 'cause i can get 600mls for a $1 at the SUPER market........:thumb_up:

 

--------------------------

 

Better go now..... got to finish making me brothers birth'dy card, and then off to Twmba for some music........:thumb_up::thumb_up:

 

 

[turboplanner]

"But we can start a "Fungus Farm" said Sam Suzuki.

 

'Not if ........../quote]

 

"......we use Queenslanders for labour - they would only eat it, they're like that", said Harry Honda "More better we import Kanakas which will have the byproduct of improving the IQ in both Creensland and Kanakaland........" (which in short was what David Langer had said)

[Captain]

....."But we can start a "Fungus Farm" said Sam Suzuki.

"Don't knock it" said a secular progressive from the church of the later day hydrocarbon.

 

"We'll all have those in our backyard soon, from which to decant AvGas, so there will be 15 million more of us, all moving to and sweating in, God's Country"

 

"HEY .. don't blame me" boomed a voice from the sky. "I only wanted to .............

 

 

[Tomo]

"......we use Queenslanders for labour - they would only eat it, they're like that", said Harry Honda "More better we import Kanakas which will have the byproduct of improving the IQ in both Creensland and Kanakaland........"

You do have to remember that it is called the Queen's Land for a reason, blurted out the furious...err...Queen..! "don't you go saying my favorite place needs more IQ" that's a disgrace to the Royal family......!

 

So what's Victoria got to do with it.................. May I ask............?

 

-----------------

 

Heck I better get cracking on this card!!

 

 

[Tomo]

"......we use Queenslanders for labour - they would only eat it, they're like that", said Harry Honda "More better we import Kanakas which will have the byproduct of improving the IQ in both Creensland and Kanakaland........"

You do have to remember that it is called the Queen's Land for a reason, blurted out the furious Queen..! "don't you go saying my favorite place needs more IQ" that's a disgrace to the Royal family......!

 

So what's Victoria got to do with it.................. May I ask............?

 

-----------------

 

Heck I better get cracking on this card!!

 

 

[turboplanner]

You know one thing i noticed most about you Mexican's when we wenta south to havea holiday a yr or so back......first of all, you have these gross yellow number plates...disgusting!!

"Great assessment", said Turbo, "New South Wales must look a lot like Mexico. They seem to have a siesta every day, and must suffer eye damage eventually from all that yellow number plate glare"

 

"You're right on the reverse parking too" said Turbo, "originally it was to stop the horses biting at womens dresses as they walked down the footpath, and you particularly see it out west where they are slow learners"

 

"Don't worry too much about BigGranpa's bottle water costs - he was talking about gin and has to hide it from the missus"

 

"Keep up the good work and sock it to them, particularly in Goulburn and Wagga"

 

"you're right about the kangaroo jumps too - I know someone there who can do that in his aircraft......."

 

 

[turboplanner]

So what's Victoria got to do with it.................. May I ask............?

"Victoria" said a patient Turbo, "was Queen of England when you were little Tomo. It was she who brokered the Agreement which sees so many Victorians moving to Queensland to help out our less fortunate northern brothers...."

 

 

[Tomo]

"I only wanted to .............

Give you all these different resources for you all to use.......... so get thinking and use 'em......

 

Might be a job for all you Mexican's ehh.........'cause apparently our Internet Qualitys not as good.......

 

--------------

 

Seems as though we've got a flow going down two pipes now....

 

 

[Captain]

Note to tomo

 

TIMEOUT

 

Dear Tomo,

 

I note your posts 1534 & 1535.

 

Please note that you only have to say it once, as we are from down here.

 

Kind Regards Geoff

 

from Wagga Wagga

 

See ... just once.

 

PS (Shhhhh ..... but it is really us NSW & Qld brothers against the real borne to rule Mexicans ..... Shhhhh)

 

 

[Tomo]

Yeah I'm sooooooooo very Sooorrryyyy about offending you by posting one two many posts there Capitan....but is still didn't seem to work, because you say it posts 1334, and 1335.... may I ask where you got the 13 bit from??

 

See I can blame my computer for posting it twice, but you can blame......mmmm.........something that starts with I?

 

Gee's I'm still not finished this jolly card yet...got to think of some nice flowing words to put into it now........

 

 

[Captain]

...but is still didn't seem to work, because you say it posts 1334, and 1335.... may I ask where you got the 13 bit from??

See I can blame my computer for posting it twice, but you can blame......mmmm.........something that starts with I?

 

What 1334 & 1335?

 

What 1334 & 1335?

 

NOW ........... back to making it "flow" with lots of aviation terms, or Planey will stick it to us all again.

 

"We just love Queenslanders" said ........

 

 

[Tomo]

What 1334 & 1335?

Yeah but mine says it's 1534 & 1535?

 

And don't say my computer's at fault because it can't be......'cause it's a Mac!

 

Gee... that's a bit against itself there ain't it...one post I say it's my computers fault, then I say it's doesn't play up....! Now I'm jiggered for good......!

 

---------------

 

Now don't get into to much trouble today while I'm gone will you...?

 

 

[turboplanner]

Gee... that's a bit against itself there ain't it...one post I say it's my computers fault, then I say it's doesn't play up....! Now I'm jiggered for good......!

"Don't worry about it Tomo" said Turbo, "everyone makes mistakes and the main thing is you caught Le Crappe red handed, which is something the rest of us have yet to do"

 

"By the way or BTW, don't waste time on that IQ thingy - they can't even spell it in NSW. If you don't believe me look up the Macquarie Dictionary. They work on the Fingto system."

 

"Bottom of the rung are two fingers, which most of them practice regularly, then the intelligence goes up to 10/10 fingto, where toes come into it"

 

"Mind you, they were smart enough to build a fence to keep the Queenslanders out, and clever enough to call it a Dog Proof Fence so the Queenslanders wouldn't catch on" Reflected Turbo....

 

 

[ahlocks]

...they were smart enough to build a fence to keep the Queenslanders out, and clever enough to call it a Dog Proof Fence so the Queenslanders wouldn't catch on" Reflected Turbo....

Who seems quite clued up for a mexican....:raise_eyebrow:

 

"Strewth and stuff a deadhorse!" scoffed Bingles, the lad with the enthusiasm of twelve men and Yee Ha personified . "I could strap a 351 with a four barrel carby and extractors onto that drifter and get some real performance out it!"

 

- --- -- --- was mortified! :ah_oh: "Drifters are meant to be airy and slow Bingles!"

 

"Just like QLD'ers" added McLoch :devil:.....

 

================

 

Hidey Ho has been missing from the garden ... Has he succumbed to the dreaded Shateau de Chit or has he tried a spot landing on a passing caravan and got stuck?

 

 

[turboplanner]

- --- -- --- was mortified! :ah_oh: "Drifters are meant to be airy and slow Bingles!"

"Just like QLD'ers" added McLoch :devil:.....

 

================

 

Hidey Ho has been missing from the garden ... Has he succumbed to the dreaded Shateau de Chit or has he tried a spot landing on a passing caravan and got stuck?

Who, regardless of the devil emoticon was in danger of bringing a dozen angry Queenslanders into the NES (if only they could find it amongst those arrow keys and space bars)

 

"What is a Drifter anyway?" asked Turbo, "I thought it was a log which had broken away and floated down river"

 

"It's pretty much like that", said McLoch, "half a dozen aluminium tubes and a lawnmower engine".....

 

Hi Ho had landed on a B Double travelling up the Newell Highway. "It was extremely short and I just made it, by it was enormously wide" he said before his phone battery ran out. Unfortunately for him the RTA were out that night and booked him for driving without a log book. There was nothing for it but to lash down the STOL and sit next to the driver listening to Billy Rae Cyrus songs (or song since he only had one). They are somewhere around Mt Isa at the present time.

 

 

 

[ahlocks]

Who, regardless of the devil emoticon was in danger of bringing a dozen angry Queenslanders into the NES (if only they could find it amongst those arrow keys and space bars)

How could one fear the ones who pay $1.00 for 600ml of water :ah_oh: after the bucket loads that just fell out of sky for free up there?" queried McLoch who was brought up on tank water, with the occasional dead possum floating in it. (never really got used to that taste..:yuk:)

 

One ringy dingy... Two ringy dingy. " 'scuzy.." Interrupted McLock , as he reached for the tellingbone...

 

'Don't break my heart.. "Help!!" ..my achey breaky heart..', crackled from the phone.

 

"Please help me! I'm being held hostage and my ears are starting to bleed from being subjected to cruel and inhuman torture." Pleaded Hidey Ho. "Don't leave me hanging here for eternity like BigPete:star: dodging sheep swallowing cracks!!

 

Feverously, the engines of the NES smoked up their keyboards to rescue Hidey from his dire circumstance....

 

==========

 

McLock is attempting to flow...in the garden

 

 

[turboplanner]

"TALK to him Hidey, he'll start to wave his arms around trying to reply and then he'll get hungry and pull into the next truck stop" said Turbo who knew a thing or two about truckies.

 

"The all you have to do is cut the ropes, turn the aircaft through 90 degrees while clinging on up there in contravention of the "Falls from heights" legislation" he added

 

Then helpfully "Pity you've got a rotaryaxe - if it was a Jab engine you'd just turn the key and get enough power to surge off the roof of the B Double, but with the RX you'll have to be careful not to fall down the gap between the two trailers"

 

But with the whining roar peculiar to the Rx and a cloud of dust, Hidey Ho was free, short on fuel, and heading for the Min Min light.....

 

 

[ahlocks]

Now, if the B-double was accelerating to the same speed in the opposite direction to Hidey Ho's take off direction and matching his speed, would the aircraft take off ???

 

a) Yes! because it has a Rx donk

 

b) Yes! because it doesn't have a Jabiru(e) donk

 

c) No! because we're heading toward post 2000 and this answer will ensure a quick arrival.

 

===========

 

Is the min min light because the Hidey has two fuel tanks both low on fuel??

 

 

[turboplanner]

Now, if the B-double was accelerating to the same speed in the opposite direction to Hidey Ho's take off direction and matching his speed, would the aircraft take off ??? a) Yes! because it has a Rx donk

 

b) Yes! because it doesn't have a Jabiru(e) donk

 

c) No! because we're heading toward post 2000 and this answer will ensure a quick arrival.

 

===========

 

Is the min min light because the Hidey has two fuel tanks both low on fuel??

a) Yes, it would fly with no donk, so Hidey can catch a thermal

 

b) Probably hit orbit speed

 

c) If we can just ensure Cap's apparent senility sets in, we should get this one

 

The min min light is a Queensland light and Hidey is a Victorian, so it will probably just keep moving away from Hidey, mesmerising him into emptying his tanks, and then he'll have to land on .....

 

 

[ahlocks]

...The min min light is a Queensland light and Hidey is a Victorian, so it will probably just keep moving away from Hidey, mesmerising him into emptying his tanks.....

"Oooh, they're deceptive and dastardly buggas them 'nana benders! Lucky we got that fence put in.."commented McLovaK. ;)

 

"Someone calling for me...? " asked Nanna :heart: "No Nanna, 'nana' benders, not 'Nanna' Benders." replied McLoch i_dunno, "Do try and keep up..."

 

"Try and keep up?!:ah_oh: You should talk." Scoffed Nanna as she became distracted by the new young stud, - --- -- --- . :heart::heart:

 

"Wanna see a trick :heart::heart: " She enquired of young - --- -- --- :ah_oh: as she sashayed toward him....

 

==============

 

Poor Hidey Ho is left suspended in mid air as another tangent alters the flow.....

 

 

[turboplanner]

"Wanna see a trick :heart::heart: " She enquired of young - --- -- --- :ah_oh: as she sashayed toward him......

At this point we should warn - --- -- --- that Nanna has seduced virtually every NES contributor except Turbo who was quick enough to see her take her teeth out. However, she keeps a stick to deal with Le Crappe......