The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

His Gaze fell on OT who was rebuilding a D7 (or it could have been a D8) and he .......

........ said in a very friendly mate-like manner "I'm the same as Turbo and have always preferred Komatsu for their .........

[onetrack]

......better colour scheme, and the addition of Japanese language characters in the instructions and warning decals, to ensure that no-one misses the important messages.

 

"Yes, that was an idea carried over from the Komatsu-Zero from 1944 (long-overdue avref)", said OT. "Few people know of the Komatsu-Zero, it was a last-ditch effort by the Japanese when they realised they were losing the War, and additional airpower was needed. The Komatsu factory was instructed to start building Zeros, to assist the Mitsubishi Aircraft Company in aircraft output, as Mitsubishi alone was struggling to replace the number of Zeros lost to the Allies.

 

However, Yoshihata Komatsu, as one of Japans greatest industrial engineers, thought he could improve on the Zero design (as it was reputedly, originally a suss American design, that a Japanese engineer bought the plans for, in a $2 store in Okinawa in 1937, after he found them in a secondhand American book, in said store) - and to that end, Komatsu decided the Zero design needed strengthening in a number of areas.

 

The undercarriage was one area that obviously needed strengthening (as Komatsu had extensive undercarriage design experience), and also the seating was decidedly well below the Komatsu level of comfort and driver appeal.

Accordingly, Komatsu redesigned the Zero undercarriage and seating, utilising as much of the available Komatsu parts line as possible, thus ensuring a far greater ability to withstand heavy landings (it was later often stated, that the undercarriage was built like a bulldozer) - and the vastly improved seating and comfort levels enabled the pilots to come home from an 8 hour mission, without being so dog-tired and sore-a**sed, they missed the airstrip completely (few people know this was a big factor in the substantial level of Mitsubishi Zero losses).

 

Yoshihata Komatsu was feted throughout Japan for his great work in improving the Zero - and even though the Japanese lost the War (largely due to an inadequate number of Komatsu-Zeros), he went on, after WW2, to design some of the greatest examples of......

 

Edited August 11, 2021 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

......and with the Moderator's stroke of the lash he was gone.

Cappy and Turbo were quite happy to get him off their backs but then Turbo needed to know the ring clearance fir a TEA35 Fergy, and Cappy wanted to know how to change a tyre, and they both became all tearful and turned on the ...................

[Captain]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

and they both became all tearful and turned on the ........

........ waitress down at the CWA coffee shop, when they described their ......

Edited August 11, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

AS AN ASIDE - No wonder Turbo has his fixation about Epaulette, as below is a photo of a young 4-Bar Turbo with his hand on it, as usual, and about to destroy yet another Evinrude.

 

But considering what a fine specimen Turbo was, and is, you can easily see why the CWA Coffee Shop waitress almost slips off her stool every time that he walks in.

 

As the waitress knows, and as you can see from the facial expression on the blonde lady in the photo, Turbo really needs to wear shorts that are a little longer than those shown, to ensure that everything remains covered and suitably constrained.

 

Edited August 11, 2021 by Captain

[bull]

On 11/08/2021 at 12:54 PM, Captain said:

........ waitress down at the CWA coffee shop, when they described their ......

dilemma to her, she was just about to answer turdo when out of the corner of here eye she had seen. Bull hopping out of his jackaroo after finely landing on the main street deftly dodging the cannon out the front of the rissole and had neatly swung around in a controlled ground loop [avref] and brought the little jackaroo to a stop in front of the cwa hall. Holy toledo cappy screamed turdo he,s back..................................

[bull]

Yeeeppp yelled Bull no lockdowns and the pubs are open and all is well in the apple isl,   plenty of dunny paper and no ques.  Bit sad about cappy and his rello,s all locked down and fearful ,staring out on the world from thier prison cave.  Why just look at the poor expressions on his cousins faces in this family shot.   They are being held in the third rite state with vaccine tattoos coming out tomorrow the fear is real .................

Edited August 16, 2021 by bull

[Captain]

13 hours ago, bull said:

Yeeeppp yelled Bull no lockdowns and the pubs are open and all is well in the apple isl,   plenty of dunny paper and no ques.  Bit sad about cappy and his rello,s all locked down and fearful ,staring out on the world from thier prison cave.  Why just look at the poor expressions on his cousins faces in this family shot.   They are being held in the third rite state with vaccine tattoos coming out tomorrow the fear is real .................

.......... & hard to take."

 

"That's how I feel when I see Turdy in his shorts" said the CWA Waitress, and let me tell you, she has seen a few.

 

With the sad lockdown situation in Vicmanistan and Cockroachville, the NESers who are domiciled there are super excited and happy to see bull burst back on the scene with such joyous & erudite posts, as all were heretofore worried that his struggles with his pineapple and mango plantations on Bruny island (he called his 2000 acre plantation (Bone on the D'Entrecasteaux) might have overwhelmed him (Turbine marketing also thought it ill-advised to market pineapples and mangoes with a logo that featured a photo from this week's snowcapped Mt Wellington).

 

But in the midst of all of this good news, bull's expertise with his deliberate ground loops of his jackoffroo made the font page of the crash comic, but even more worrying was that it ........... 

Edited August 16, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........set a precedent that CASA could not SL [AvRef] you as long as you ground looped before crashing.

This opened up a whole new sector of recreational aviation called Ground Loop Aerobatics for pilots who just want to fly, and the membership quickly expanded, albeit it was 200 steps forward and 10 steps back so to speak as the attrition rate grew ........

[CT9000]

....... ahhhahh but it is still all in fun. I have heard it said {in fact I have said it myself} that a taildragger landing is not finished till you are halfway through your first cuppa. Another view is not finished till your pants are off.......

[onetrack]

......and being hosed out. But "pants off" means something completely different to Cappy, in this era of being locked up, with nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to eat, and nothing to wipe your bum with.

Then there's the unfortunate part of being locked up with other people who are......

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

......and being hosed out. But "pants off" means something completely different to Cappy, in this era of being locked up, with nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to eat, and nothing to wipe your bum with.

Then there's the unfortunate part of being locked up with other people who are......

..... also wipe-less.

 

"With no dunny paper, but still the need to go (but not a bidet or a gum-leaf in sight), groups of more that 5 consenting adults are starting to smell like a cross between Moorabbin and Kabul" observed bull, who can smell them in Tazzy when the northerly wind is blowing.

 

"In Europe it is called the Meltemi" said bull, who has been a broad (since the operation) "Whereas in Tasmania it is known as the Mel........

Edited August 17, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...t. where the smell, entrapped in the snow for millions of years has been released by Global Warming.

 

The photo below shows the devastation caused to the Snobs Hill area of Hobart (in the foreground) cause by temperature rise.

"Another 1.4 degrees and we'll be buying nosepegs" said Bull, not really knowing what a nosepeg was, but thinking it had something to do with smell.

 

Yet it wasn't that long ago that the men in Hobart were forced to wear nosepegs by the wives, and "holding the strings" was a well used phrase down in the ...............

 

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Yet it wasn't that long ago that the men in Hobart were forced to wear nosepegs by the wives, and "holding the strings" was a well used phrase down in the .......

..... region where the men wore thongs (undiesref not flipflopsref).

 

The Tazzy men were well known for their exhibitionist stunts when they went to B&S Balls and all stood in a line with their thongs on backwards (called "holding the strings" to the front), hence the reason why the B&S functions were called "Balls", as once an attendee saw this spectacle, thereafter they always ......

 

Ratso had a photo to post here of this shocking lineup, but it is very offensive and he does not wish to be banned again. However a copy can be PM'd to those who apply.

Edited August 17, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........got on the first plane to the Mainland and swore never to go to Tasmania again.

This, over the decades, resulted in the sparse population in Tasmania today. The inbreeding we all know about and have discussed many times, and that doesn't help, but when Bull goes shopping, it's not the casual walk down the street in Bone any more with lunch at the RSL. They don't have RSLs in Tasmania any more because people weren't returning from them and it was said that .............................

[Captain]

..... there may have been an Rissole Death Cult (RDC) in operation.

 

Everything described by Turbo's last post has caused paleontologists world wide to regard Tasmania as the Galapagos of the Indo-Pacific region.

 

A major study is therefore now underway to understand the flow on effects of the injection of bull's new & virile FNQ genes into such a closed & feudal society.

 

This provides a unique opportunity and while this paleontological work is confidential, we understand that samples are being taken each time that bull mates with a local, after which he ......

Edited August 17, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......is subjected to hours of blood tests, gene extraction, and bone measurements to the point where when he ambles down to the local pub he carefully steers away from all the females. "It's just not worth the effort" he said, and the whole front bar, some sporting bruises and black eyes, agreed with him. Bull decided to organise a ............

[CT9000]

......race in the Le man's style where you start from the public bar hot foot it to the airfield then fly {avref for a change}  to Vic, avoid the lockdown areas and land with no landing fees speeding tickets general fines or being locked up for any other reason......

[turboplanner]

...........but the only fly in the ointment was the Ring of Steel set up in the 1800s when Tasmanians started to breed.  The ROS details have never been released by the Victorian Government which knows that Victorians would be the first victims if Tasmanians were allowed to land. ROS Headquarters are the old buildings of the Quarantine Station where Indians on temporary visas are housed when they fly back to Australia. Currently its holding 13,000 "Australians".

Similar posts are hidden in the clifftops along the entire coast, but Bull thought .............

[onetrack]

......initially, that they were only tourist lookouts. However, bull suddenly realised what they were, when he flew a little lower to examine them more closely, and spotted people holding up banners that read, ".....

[Captain]

32 minutes ago, onetrack said:

......initially, that they were only tourist lookouts. However, bull suddenly realised what they were, when he flew a little lower to examine them more closely, and spotted people holding up banners that read, ".....

"All Galaposmanians should F off" and "Victorian Lives Matter" (VLM) then both followed by "And if you don't bugger off you'll cop a 50 cal or 3 up your JackOffRoo" (JOR avref).

 

But bull was made of sterner stuff (after all, he was originally a Boner from FNQ) and he had established himself in a unique position as prime breeding stock in the sewer that is the Tasmanian gene pool, so he .............

Edited August 18, 2021 by Captain

[bull]

17 hours ago, Captain said:

"All Galaposmanians should F off" and "Victorian Lives Matter" (VLM) then both followed by "And if you don't bugger off you'll cop a 50 cal or 3 up your JackOffRoo" (JOR avref).

 

But bull was made of sterner stuff (after all, he was originally a Boner from FNQ) and he had established himself in a unique position as prime breeding stock in the sewer that is the Tasmanian gene pool, so he .............

...............put the throttle to max and in a screaming dive [at the jackaroo,s terminal velocity of 50 knots] flew down over the pricktorians and dropped some used masks and the pricktorians scatterred screaming something about Rona. Now Bull had not yet met the famous Rona ,but Turbo could be heard on the radio saying about how much he had done to.................

[turboplanner]

.........stop Rona.

[We are always nice to other users on NES, but there's no way to explain this other than Bull is as deaf as a post]

ROS32 looking through his binoculars saw what he thought was a "Homebuilt Microlite" which appeared to be diving at him. Knowing how often these POS drop out of the sky, he quickly pulled down the armour-plated anti-Tas barrier and radioed-in the sighting. As luck would have it there was an Australian FA-18 practising at Avalon for next year's Air Show. Turbo called him in to defend the Mainland but the only weapon he had was his afterburner. Since Tasmania didn't have an Air Force other than an old CT4, he whipped across the Heads in a couple of seconds, pulled neatly in front of Bull and gave him a taste of burning kerosene.

 

A fishing boat off the coast of Victoria, noticed a single head bobbing in the water. He knew it was safe to continue because there was only one head, but he didn't expect.................

Edited August 18, 2021 by turboplanner

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

A fishing boat off the coast of Victoria, noticed a single head bobbing in the water. He knew it was safe to continue because there was only one head, but he didn't expect......

.... that it would be the world famous Tazzy Stud bull.

 

The Fisho was Mextorian so thought that the name of the pluckee would be "Bob" (bobbingref), .......... and why is this fisherman not working from home anyway?

 

He plucked bull from the water, gave him a mask and looked him up and down.

 

Bull's clothes had been burnt off by the afterburner and the Fisho said "Do you mean to tell me that you are replenishing the Tazzy gene pool using that?"

 

Bull refused to be embarrassed, after all he was using capital letters again now, and he replied ".....

Edited August 19, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

AS ANOTHER ASIDE FOR THE NES ........

JUST A LITTLE RONA JOKE

Edited August 19, 2021 by Captain