The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

...sauce.

Turbo and Cappy sat down for lunch, surrounded by flies. A kelpie lay semi-conscious on the floor worn out from chasing cars all morning. Turbo hadn't helped by pretending to drive past then slamming on the brakes. The kelpie was looking more like a boxer now.

"Just thinking about those WA Utes with the hay" he said "that's probably for Turbine Farms in Queensland. About 20 years ago there was a bad drought around Aramac, and we were all on our knees with no feed for the cattle so someone from Henty organised a hay bale convoy, and paid to deliver 4,000 tonnes to a big paddock near town. It had rained by the time we got there so we didn't need it but we were grateful for their generosity. We haven't had a drought for 20 years, but every year there's a hay bale run. We don't need it and they drive through waste high Mitchell grass to deliver it out into the paddock. We sell it off at retail and it pays for an overseas holiday every year, cruising on the Rhine, sight seeing around the rockies and it doesn't cost us a cent. Next year we're .........

[bull]

..sanga,s are pretty good too.I know that place said Bull,i fished for crayfish in the bight there. We used to follow the old telegraph track to the beach where we kept our boat.Bloody big buggers they where too...[Here,s a fibreglass replica made using a real one as a mold.]    ...Did you sell them in Esperanceistan over in WA? said Turdo...,Why,s that said Bull? Well ,i brought one like that back in 2000 and it made the whole village crook as F#$k and we have been looking for that bloke for over twenty years for revenge.  Nah not me mate [as bull slowly starts moving towards the door and readies himself for some high speed running]  Not sure if i was there then,wait a minute did you used to dress in all kinds of..................

Edited August 26, 2021 by bull

[bull]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

...sauce.

Turbo and Cappy sat down for lunch, surrounded by flies. A kelpie lay semi-conscious on the floor worn out from chasing cars all morning. Turbo hadn't helped by pretending to drive past then slamming on the brakes. The kelpie was looking more like a boxer now.

"Just thinking about those WA Utes with the hay" he said "that's probably for Turbine Farms in Queensland. About 20 years ago there was a bad drought around Aramac, and we were all on our knees with no feed for the cattle so someone from Henty organised a hay bale convoy, and paid to deliver 4,000 tonnes to a big paddock near town. It had rained by the time we got there so we didn't need it but we were grateful for their generosity. We haven't had a drought for 20 years, but every year there's a hay bale run. We don't need it and they drive through waste high Mitchell grass to deliver it out into the paddock. We sell it off at retail and it pays for an overseas holiday every year, cruising on the Rhine, sight seeing around the rockies and it doesn't cost us a cent. Next year we're .........

[Beaten by the turdo again ,getting old now...].............go back to Espeancistan to look for that crayfish shyter who looked a lot like bull,suddenly a screeching of tyres could be heard and everybody ran outside to see a ute dissappearing into the distance heading east.Who,s that asked OT?  The attendent looked down at the list of crayfish spots bull had given him and said] No idea mate ,and with that wandered off towards his cray pots mumbling that he was going home sick. That was bloody Bull screamed Cappy ,lets go after him in the ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

That was bloody Bull screamed Cappy ,lets go after him in the ...

..... Jackoffwallaby (evantual avref) as that will have no trouble sticking with an XR8 ute".

 

bull jumped into the front seat of the JOW while Cappy strapped himself into the seat of the co-pilot and weapons systems operator (WSO), primed the GAU-A8 Autocannon, read the Human Fuctors briefing card to bull using his great big serious gravitas voice, and ............

Edited August 26, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....then the Rotax failed to start. This brought forth some colourful words from Bull that would normally only be heard in a seafarers or truckies bar, and Bull had to unstrap himself and get out, to find the source of the problem. This was promptly found, thanks to Bull's skills learnt on Station bull-bashing Toyotas (that's bull-bashing, not Bull-bashing), and it was........

 

(Dear NES readers - OT is deeply concerned that the Jedi Rat is unable to distinguish between B-triples, B-doubles, triple road trains, double road trains, and single semi-trailers - even if he was hit by one. He probably thinks a Ringfeder is something that cattle eat from. This is a terrible state of affairs, and OT is thinking of giving him a ride in a triple road train for his 89th birthday, so he's brought up to speed (so to speak) on truck types, and this will also give him bragging rights in the nursing home, whenever a B-triple appears on the TV, and he can identify it immediately and confidently, just as well as he can identify the difference between a Cessna and a Tecnam....)

 

Edited August 26, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

(Dear NES readers - OT is deeply concerned that the Jedi Rat is unable to distinguish between B-triples, B-doubles, triple road trains, double road trains, and single semi-trailers - even if he was hit by one. He probably thinks a Ringfeder is something that cattle eat from. This is a terrible state of affairs, and OT is thinking of giving him a ride in a triple road train for his 89th birthday, so he's brought up to speed (so to speak) on truck types, and this will also give him bragging rights in the nursing home, whenever a B-triple appears on the TV, and he can identify it immediately and confidently, just as well as he can identify the difference between a Cessna and a Tecnam....)

That's nothing OT. As 2 posts ago Ratty had bull chasing bull. So your beloved Captain is losing it, officially, the dopy old XXXX.

[Captain]

PS - The Lovely Jedi Rat is patiently waiting for one of his NES mates to jump to his defense. Surely Turdboy or Eeeaaannn will do so, but 9 hours of silence since he last posted is not too encouraging.

 

Perhaps even the peripatetic bull will say something nice?

 

Waiting .............................. waiting ............................

Edited August 26, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

9 hours ago, Captain said:

That's nothing OT. As 2 posts ago Ratty had bull chasing bull. So your beloved Captain is losing it, officially, the dopy old XXXX.

Turbo respectfully adds the AABBconverterdolly45'trailer - the 5pack so beloved of Queensland operators west of Mitchell and out of sight of any regulators.

 

However he falls short of OT's last epithet as a result of a prvious episode where Cappy reacted like a sixteen year old school girl and dobbed him in.

[turboplanner]

......and waiting, but Turbo has given him a nice comment (by comparison with what could have been revealed).

At that point Turbo thought he heard another train coming and ducked...........................

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

At that point Turbo thought he heard another train coming and ducked......

.... but there was no need, as the magnanimous Captain forgave Turbo and turned the other cheek (face cheek only, as nobody turns THOSE other cheeks, with Turbo around) and all was right again in the upper echelons of the NES.

Edited August 26, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........and so the NES forgave Cappy yet another full stop. (for the uneducated Cook, yer need more than one (1) (Wun) for continuation (ter go).

 

However Cappy had made a mistake and this was a real train and a real coal train at that, 2 kilometres of it with six Autonomous locos hurling it along at 180 km/hr. The coal industry, sick of the carping of the Labor Rainbows and the Greens, and wanting to avoid the chances of any production restrictions had built the long forecast VFT route from the Bowen Basin to progressive Victoria with a grant negotiated by SuperDan with his mate Xi to use the Belts and Roads Budget. The only tiny mistake they made was at the end where it came to the surface at Darraweit Guim, and ...............(see C, multiple dots)

[turboplanner]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[To bring NES readers up to the cutting edge of transport technology, adding to the very helpful information provided by Cappy in the unnumbered post (4 fingers back), this is a Heavy Combination Vehicle in ABConverter DollyAB configuration. Why anyone would build a road train this way is a mystery but probably to confuse the new Regulator, NHVR which already has one of the biggest staff levels in Australia.

 

 

 

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

 

This message provided by Turbine Explanations and Perhaps overly Detailed But Not Boring at all Descriptions Inc. (TEaPODBNBaaDI)

Edited August 26, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The only tiny mistake they made was at the end where it came to the surface at Darraweit Guim, and ...............(see C, multiple dots)

............ (more multiple dots so the Skipper has learnt fast) ..................................... as the Giant Bunnies had been bred up by the Greens (one certainly looked a lot like Adam Bandt and the other a bit like Lidia), & they were trained with a specific purpose of furthering the Greens' gay rights agenda and of disrupting the coal trains at DG, because ...........

Edited August 26, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............Adam's electric car was still stranded 800 km south of Adani Mine. It;s wheel motors had been pouring out smoke fr days as it tried to pull the generator trailer, painted in camouflage colours from Melbourne. As we know know the Greens never made it to Adani, mistakenly driving in to Clermont with their banners, and arrogantly buying up all the pies in Clermont as the local miners found out at lunch time. The locals grebbed them all and corraled them in the stockyards as the local oval, and were about to massacre them in what would have become famous as the "Massacre at the Clermont Corral" when the local Sergeant brokered a peace deal and told the press not to say anything. The Greens were hoping to get the Coal Industry to ..............

[CT9000]

.....chuck in a few quid to help build a rail track. The train is still bogged to the guts in mud at the new rail terminal because trains are not so good without tracks....

[turboplanner]

....so they called in Turbine Train Extractions Inc TTE. the Red Adair of extracting trains nogged to the guts in mud, but not before.......

[CT9000]

....the industrial sized bunnies started to chew on the train coz they need the iron supplement to support their huge growth.....  

[turboplanner]

..........and the noise started to bother the residents of DG who were mostly retired Qantas Captains and..........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

..........and the noise started to bother the residents of DG who were mostly retired Qantas Captains and..........

................................................ silvertails who longed for the blessed serenity of the holy 5 rivers, but who also have their own strip and feel like there is nothing more serene than an FI Turbo Rotax at full stick (apologies to "The Castle").

 

And now with gigantic bunnies, coal trains, derailments, a bunny abattoir, a bunny antler aphrodisiac grinding and manufacturing factory, a cross-strip and a parallel runway (including 15 more taxiways), DG is looking more like Calcutta on a bad day, particularly with the funeral pyres beside the river at DG Heights, where the CT is advancing his .......................  

 

A PHOTO FROM THE PYRES UP AT THE HEIGHTS LAST SUNDAY

AFTER THE FOOTY WHEN THE DG REDBACKS LOST TO THE

ROMSEY RODENTS BY 73 POINTS. DG FOOTBALLERS PAY A HIGH

PRICE FOR EACH LOSS. 

Edited August 27, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........Hindu classes by teaching returned "Australians" flown in by SCOMO Airlines how to fill out Visa forms and the fourteen stages (all costing a modest amout of money) of becoming a hindu and night manager of a Secrice Station before being ...............

[Captain]

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........Hindu classes by teaching returned "Australians" flown in by SCOMO Airlines how to fill out Visa forms and the fourteen stages (all costing a modest amount of money) of becoming a Hindu and night manager of a Service Station before being ...............

........... accepted as a Doctor in a country hospital, where you can get away with .......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

DG FOOTBALLERS PAY A HIGH PRICE FOR EACH LOSS.

SIDE OBSERVATION (so no multiple dots are needed) - But on the other hand those departed footballers leave a lot of unaccompanied wives and girlfriends, of which CT takes full advantage (what a dead set CT he is). Just say'n.

[bull]

9 hours ago, Captain said:

........... accepted as a Doctor in a country hospital, where you can get away with .......

...working and claiming the dole ,and also get given a fine home for minimal rent.   Now this was a welcome event for the small country towns of Prickstoristan who for decades had never had a local GP [even if he is not a real doctor shss dont tell anyone] .and the locals all gathered at the................

[Captain]

...... one computer screen that is not owned by China in Dan"s home province around Nhill to undertake an interweb search about this issue.

 

"We had better ring the great bull because he used to live up that way before he became peripotetic" they concluded "As there is something on here about Bundaberg Hospital and ........