The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

..... not "different", he was "special", as he had earned his reputation the hard way by ........

[onetrack]

....becoming a lawyer to the rich and famous who wanted to divorce. Halftracks skills in this area were renowned, he could get the warring parties to agree within 3 mediation meetings, and then also get 33% of the estate in fees, in the 4th meeting. 

Of course, Halftrack kept a low media profile, thanks to the sensitive areas he worked in - until the day when Cappy was named as an involved party in a high profile divorce suit.

We can't mention the high profile names of the divorce parties, but OT can assure the NES readers, that if the names were made public, Cappy's notoriety would reach new heights (taking into account, it's already high), and he would be publically forced to admit he was........

[turboplanner]

........a beast [Col Blimp ref] because his behaviour when ...............

[onetrack]

....he thought no-one was looking or watching, was eye-opening to say the least. This led to the day when Cappy was caught in "flagrante delicto" - which made the front page of the Kapooka Daily Bugle, complete with photos, showing Cappy being........

 

 

(And, dear NES readers, here we have the Police artwork of the moment of capture of this beast, with all the shocking evidence, so plain to see......)

 

 

[turboplanner]

......arrested for disturbing the peace.

This would be an unusual arrest for what's shown in the picture, but the animal growls, yelps and snarls which had been going on for an hour before the police arrived, frightening the many young children in this otherwise peacefull hamlet.

 

The picture clearly shows Cappy's face and his rakinsh demeanor.

The woman has been told to cover her face because she had a head on her like a robber's dog.

The overturned chait was most likely staged by the police to reinforce the bestial complaints.

 

Cappy walked out through the front door, escorted by the Peelers and a hundred flashlight bulbs went off at once.

 

A woman in the crowd threw a rotten egg at him and ........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

......arrested for disturbing the peace.

....... "And she was a hot little piece that was worth disturbing too" said Loxie, who had been interested in her for many years. Loxie had even played the "SportsStar" card when he was trying to seduce her at the 2008 CWA AGM in Gummy Gummy, when he said "My SS is much better than his 230, here let me show you this etching". (This was back in the day when Loxie's bearcan was regarded as equivalent to today's latest CTLSi2021.912iS.LMBTQ + whatever other initials they are).

 

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

A woman in the crowd threw a rotten egg at him and ........

...... then looked him in the eyes and fell under his spell (60yearsofthathappeningref) by offering herself to him and licking off the rotten egg, before Cappy stood up tall and it was evident that even at his age & after all of his conquests, he could achieve an instant & spontaneous ........

Edited August 30, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............bowell movement. No potions or treatments were needed in that department. 

However it wasn't all that pleasant for anyone else and the room emptied in an instant. The Club President found a fire hose and washed him down, and .............

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

............bowell movement. No potions or treatments were needed in that department. 

However it wasn't all that pleasant for anyone else and the room emptied in an instant. The Club President found a fire hose and washed him down, and .............

......... sent him home to sit in front of his computer screen making feckless comments on some aviation (avref) website for some story that goes on .......... and on .......... and on ................ and on ................. and XXXX'n on.

 

But it was all worthwhile, as his investigations into 1/2track have proven that he was named after a WW1 Austin Kégresse Russian Half-Track in which he had been conceived somewhere on the eastern front, and this had great meaning once he returned into the fold of the Track family in WA, looking to be the spit of Nikita Khrushchev, and disclosing that ........... 

Edited August 30, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

 

ADMIN - Moderator 14 has asked that this early police identikit sketch be deleted as the subject of that "Delit" looks exactly like his aunt Stellar, who was often spoken about in hushed tones.

[turboplanner]

.....at the birth he was sterilised with vodka (because in Russia you lived inside your half track, and ate raw fish which were just salted and stacked next to the ammunition, and you couldn't throw the scraps out lest it left a trail for the Germans who would eat the scraps and then hunt you down.). Somehow the Vodka and a diet of raw fish set off a mutation and Half-Track down the track was tracking for ...........................................

[Captain]

....... a bout of trachoma or a tracheotomy, while wearing tracky-dacks, as halftrack's health (& dress sense) wasn't brilliant, although his ........

Edited August 30, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....boots were stout and his walk was straight and ........................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....boots were stout and his walk was straight and ........................

........ he was short of stature (a feature of the Track family, who used to be known as either von Trackschtein or Trackanova before WW1 when the Kégresse liaison took place), however HalfTrack, or HT as he was known on one of the forums, was short, stout and bald and would often bang his shoe on the desk at AUF functions in order to make his point, hence his likeness to Nikita (NK) and his fondness for .........

 

A RARE PHOTO OF HT BANGING HIS SHOE AT A MID 70'S

AGM OF THE AUF WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO GET THE

WEIGHT LIMIT RAISED TO 1,500 KGS.

 

AND AN EVEN RARER PHOTO OF HT GIVING THE

WRECK FLYING AND TURBINE INDUSTRIES SALUTE.

 

HERE, HT IS MAKING THE SAME POINT DIRECTLY TO TURBO AT A TI AGM

WHILE EYEBALLING HIM, AS HT WAS UNHAPPY WITH THE DIVIDEND AND

TURBO'S USUAL BS EXPLANATION OF THE SHORTFALL.

 

 

Edited August 31, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....hard liquour and long nights of partying. However, his fighting ability, in line with all the Track family, was never in any doubt. Of course, this superb fighting ability came from one of the Track family ancestors - FliteTrack, who is a relatively unknown WW1 fighter ace, with many dozens of recorded German Fokker kills in his Nieuport 11 "Bebe".

 

FliteTracks record is relatively unknown, because as a Kegresse aficionado, he was spending a large amount of his time in France, at the Citroen works, advising on the development and improvement of the Kegresse design, just as WW1 broke out.

As Flitetrack recognised the superior aviation abilities of the French at that time, he promptly joined the Armée de l'Air, promptly graduated as Dux of his flight class and went on to become an outstanding commander of the 22nd Escadrille.

 

FliteTracks outstanding fighter ace record is not widely known around the world, due to it all being recorded in French and hidden deep in the Armée de l'Air Archives. But his abilities were certainly recognised by the U.K. and Australian military leaders of the time, and Sir John Monash was known to call on FliteTrack regularly, to assist in backup for Monash's major assaults.

 

It was during one of these assaults on a heavily-defended German position, that FliteTrack received aircraft damage that was so severe, it resulted in half of one wing of his Bebe being shot away.

 

Despite that level of serious damage, FliteTrack was able to successfully bomb the German position, then land in enemy territory unhurt (despite writing off the Bebe), and then singlehandedly kill 32 Germans who tried to capture him, and then made his way nonchalantly back to the Allied lines, where he promptly......

 

Edited August 31, 2021 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

......planned and executed with Turbo in his younger days, particularly the executed. He was, after all, technically a Russian.

Not many people know that when Petrov ran for his life out of Australia, it was the result of HT giving him a Molotov Cocktail invitation to a function where there was no dress code and ........

Edited August 31, 2021 by turboplanner

[Captain]

9 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......planned and executed with Turbo in his younger days, particularly the executed. He was, after all, technically a Russian.

Not many people know that when Petrov ran for his life out of Australia, it was the result of HT giving him a Molotov Cocktail invitation to a function where there was no dress code and ........

........ Turbineski Vodka (Турбинский Водка), which sends you blind faster than Tubb's own self-abuse, was being served before a ........

Edited August 31, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, Captain said:

HERE, HT IS MAKING THE SAME POINT DIRECTLY TO TURBO AT A TI AGM

WHILE EYEBALLING HIM, AS HT WAS UNHAPPY WITH THE DIVIDEND AND

TURBO'S USUAL BS EXPLANATION OF THE SHORTFALL.

As further background for our legion of readers, at this time HT was also very unhappy & disillusioned with Turbo's BS explanation of why all of the truck chassis' were cracking after just one simple trip up the Tanami Track.

 

HT reckons that he knows heaps more then Turbo about this trucking caper.

[bull]

19 minutes ago, Captain said:

As further background for our legion of readers, at this time HT was also very unhappy & disillusioned with Turbo's BS explanation of why all of the truck chassis' were cracking after just one simple trip up the Tanami Track.

 

HT reckons that he knows heaps more then Turbo about this trucking caper.

.now as all long term NES readers would know old Bull was once a trucking magnate himself on the old Tanimi [a photo of Bull in his younger days heading east from Halls Creek out on the Tanimi when he was mining for rare earth before Turbine industries brought him out]  ...and can confirm that about every 5 kms or so there would be one of turdo industry trucks either arse up or broken down. Cappy piped up and said,, i remember when........

Edited August 31, 2021 by bull

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, bull said:

.now as all long term NES readers would know old Bull was once a trucking magnate himself on the old Tanimi [a photo of Bull in his younger days heading east from Halls Creek out on the Tanimi when he was mining for rare earth before Turbine industries brought him out]  ...and can confirm that about every 5 kms or so there would be one of turdo industry trucks either arse up or broken down. Cappy piped up and said,, i remember when........

....... bull and I had a knuckle at the Tilmouth Well Roadhouse, and after we had beaten the living suitcase out of each other we have been best mates ever since. But then again, we were also united against a common enemy because of the terrible fatigue failures to all of those TI truck& trailer chassis'es which cost bull and I millions (if not for that, I would be able to afford a CTLSi2021.912iS.LMBTQ by now) in lost ........

 

THE TW ROADHOUSE WHERE BULL AND RATTY BLED AND BONDED FOR LIFE.

Edited August 31, 2021 by Captain

[bull]

.contracts with the government of Westastan ,who was building some huge wind farm or something out near the Wolfe creek crater.  Now these contracts  are now in the hands of "sling em and wringem lawyers and litigation is forthcoming to turdo industries,class action too.......Now i must refute that said...............

[bull]

.the spokesman for Turbine Legal inc,who went on to explain why all those turbine industrie trucks where cracking up was not thier fault , It was Trumps fault by making steel so expensive that turbine inc had to find a cheaper supplier and voted on "Bangladeshy finest non rusty iron cut to order" who had a constant supply of not very old cruise liners due to the pandy thingy. Now all test done at the Bangladeshy institute of iron testing they have reported it is of the highest Quality from that region and even supplied photos of the cruise ships being cut up to make turbine trucks and as such it is not our fault ,so go suck eggs .....Well this did not go down well with the.................

[Captain]

........ 55 truckies who are stuck on the Tanami Track with broken prime movers, dogs, and other types of trailers, and who spent all day in the scorching heat sticking pins in & kicking Turbo dolls (hence Turbo's constantly sore agates).

 

"I'm buggered is I know what the issue is" said Turbo "As those are Chinese and Russian ships and everyone knows what is the quality of HT steel from those joints."

 

bull, who still identifies with the transport workers, and who still has occasional double vision from the flogging that Cappy gave him, provided a vehement, spirited and blasphemous defense of the 55 drivers who are still alive (20 or so have perished due to Tubb's designs and are yet to be recovered) when bull said "..............

 

AN EXAMPLE OF ONE OF THE LESSER DAMAGED VEHICLES THAT HAS BEEN STUCK IN THE TANAMI SINCE 2018.

"What's wrong with that?" said Tubb "It's just a scratch".

 

TO ADD TO THE SCANDAL, A NUMBER OF THE ABANDONED AND FAILED TRUCKIES HAVE BEEN FORCED TO RECREATE "THE DIG TREE" AS THEY NEARED THE END IN 2020.

SEE THE BELOW PHOTO FOUND ON ONE OF THEIR PHONES.

 

Edited August 31, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

Further research about the "FTW" that the drivers had carved into the tree indicates that this means "XXXX Turbo (the) WXXXXX".

 

The last word is unclear but it could be something like Winker.

 

Additional note - The truckies had obviously made friends and had become quite close to the Camels shown in that photo, as you would in such circumstances. Just say'n.

[onetrack]

(DEAR NES READERS AND MODERATORS - OT is at a loss as to why his fine story of the Track family and their amazing ancestor FlightTrack, has been totally and completely ignored - in favour of trucks, trucking, ship-scrappers, camels, dying land explorers, and even photos of Caterpillar front end loaders!!

This derailing - sorry, make that de-planing - of the NES, is absolutely outrageous, and I demand that all those offenders (see above), who have misled this reputedly aviation-oriented story, into the travesty that it has become, be sent to the Tanami on the back of a 1930's Leyland truck, and be banned from further mention of anything other than aviation-related subjects!! - signed, Deeply Hurt OT).....

 

Edited August 31, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

6 hours ago, onetrack said:

(DEAR NES READERS AND MODERATORS - OT is at a loss as to why his fine story of the Track family and their amazing ancestor FlightTrack, has been totally and completely ignored - in favour of trucks, trucking, ship-scrappers, camels, dying land explorers, and even photos of Caterpillar front end loaders!!

This derailing - sorry, make that de-planing - of the NES, is absolutely outrageous, and I demand that all those offenders (see above), who have misled this reputedly aviation-oriented story, into the travesty that it has become, be sent to the Tanami on the back of a 1930's Leyland truck, and be banned from further mention of anything other than aviation-related subjects!! - signed, Deeply Hurt OT).....

 

Let me tell you Onesie, all NESers feel your pain, as we have been laboring for years while overshadowed in our contributions by the behemoth that is Turbine Industries. 

 

For those readers who are unfamiliar with WA hierarchy, the Track family are virtual royalty over there and just about match the McGowans, with whom they often intermarry or just have an occasional fiddle.

 

However a little like Tasmania before bull inserted his new genes, the intermarrying has been a trifle overdone since the Tracks 1st arrived on the Batavia, when Johannes Track & Willem von McGowan were put ashore just south of Geraldton as punishment for their abhorrent part in the Abrolhos controversy, but as noted in Onesie's post, the Track family still feel very entitled, whereas the McGowans are a lot more contrite, apologetic, shy and easy going. 

Edited August 31, 2021 by Captain