The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

. Turbo was in shock. Many baseless criticisms had been thrown at him over the years, sometimes with a grain of truth, but mostly through being taken out of context. This hurt for a direct descendant of Florence Nightingale but to suggest putting him into a Leyland was beyond the pale.

Who was this Track family?

For that matter, where was Western Australia?

Turbo came up with a plan to .................................................................................................................................................................

 

[turboplanner]

[STOP PRESS: The extraordinary power of the NES to reach all corners of the world through its millions of readers, is shown here by the result's of the outrageous attack by the Track family on Turbine Industries.

 

A spokesperson of Turbine Industries, Cooper Turbine IV, speaking on condition of anonymity, responded to Xi's statement an hour ago by saying "Xi wouldn't know if a tram was up him unless the conductor rang the bell" and "The Tracks are all dirt"]

[onetrack]

.......enter W.A. via the Tanami track (right after he baled out of the Leyland truck), and to set up a new Turbine Conglomerate Inc HQ (the accent is on the "Con"), on a mining lease 390kms ENE of Marble Bar - right adjacent to Dragon Tree Soak, so Turbo could have enough water for his swimming pool and spa.

This remote location would provide Turbine the insulated position he needed to operate surreptitiously, and to sniff out the vast areas of inland W.A. that were under-explored, and where Clive hadn't started pegging yet.

 

Turbine knew from geophysical reports and aerial imaging, the area was ripe for finding all the rare earths and exotic metals that would soon be in major demand as the world progressed to a post-COVID-19 position, with many new exciting hi-tech inventions soon to be in production.

 

Turbo wasn't going to miss out on any of this great new source of wealth, he'd already seen how Twiggy just cleaned up $2.35B in dividends from Fortescue, just by mining iron ore!

Imagine the profits in mining rare earths and exotic minerals! He'd heard Caesium was all the go, a beautiful golden colour too, plus a $1000 a kg, and he dreamed of finding a huge Caesium deposit and making more in a day, than either Clive or Twiggy.

"Mogul" wasn't a word we hear often today, but Turbo thought that Mogul would fit in nicely with his image and name, and he could soon be welcoming heads.......

 

Edited September 1, 2021 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.....of State and Mayors and bestow Titles on them. He was interrupted by Cappy laughing and Cappy explained that you had to be a Governor to do that, so he stormed off, jumped in the Land Cruiser ad headed out from base.

He'd been driving for hours over a sea of red dirt when, coming over a rise he saw a beautiful golden colour.

He'd found Caesium!

He radioed OT to send in the mining equipment fast!

OT found a battery cart, jump started the Company BTD6 and set out for the Caersium claim which Turbine had already named ............................

[bull]

Turbinia soak mine,,,,TSMining inc,Authorised persons only.....etc etc ,,very hush hush with rumours of chinese paratroopers and special forces training in the underground caverns.   Lots of flights coming and going from the company airstrip [mostly single seat attack aircraft]...This has created concern amongst the................         .[  Turbines mine workers lining up for smoko ,,,,looks a bit suss too me ,and these planes do not look like flyin flyout aircraft]

Edited September 1, 2021 by bull

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, bull said:

Turbines mine workers lining up for smoko ,,,,looks a bit suss too me ,and these planes do not look like flyin flyout aircraft

.......... "Don't you, you, you worry about that" said Turbo in an accent that is a mix between Jo B-P and Clive P "As I have been assured by my mate Xi that they will bugger off just like Joe did from Afghanistan and they will leave us with all of this free gear."

 

"I'd rather not be called a Mogul as that sounds a bit non-Aussie & non-inclusive, so just call me a Mining Magnate" said Turbo.

 

"you are more of a magnet" responded bull "as you sure do attract a lot of dick-h..........

Edited September 1, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....andedness, which is a sign you're not as well-liked, as you might think you are." "Of course I'm well liked!", said Turbo.

 

"I have true friends all over the world, just like Donald Trump has! I have friends in every country, in every position of leadership and power, and it's all fake news, if you've heard I'm not well-liked!"

 

"As a matter of interest, it was only this morning I received a call from Kim Jong-un. It seems his friendship with Donald has cooled, and he wants some assistance from me to ensure an upsurge in income for North Korea! He's seen how I operate, and he loves the way I can turn a bad situation into a money-spinner! He wants to know how he can..........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

"As a matter of interest, it was only this morning I received a call from Kim Jong-un. It seems his friendship with Donald has cooled, and he wants some assistance from me to ensure an upsurge in income for North Korea! He's seen how I operate, and he loves the way I can turn a bad situation into a money-spinner! He wants to know how he can..........

......... also stop those trucks that I sold him from cracking as they come over the Mt Paektu access road, but that is another story, as you always have to expect 1 unreasonably disgruntled client in every 10,000 (a standard Turbine Industries obfuscation when there are complaints).

 

This note from Turdboy triggered a faded memory in Onesie that there was a distant bloodline of the Track family who emigrated to Nth Korea from Southern Cross in the 1880's ...... and with a simple internet search he connected his branch of the Tracks to Tim Tong Track, who had developed & established Nth Korea as the regional powerhouse that it is today (except that they don't have their own powerhouse) and it was evident that he had changed his name to ...........

Edited September 1, 2021 by Captain

[bull]

.Tim Tom after arriving,,, after all the ladies did not like his original name and he became despondent . With his head in his hands he cried my name is NOT....................                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            A Monument to Tim Tom Track after the opening of the railways in 1880. And the latest business meeting between Tim Tom Track and his distant relative  Kim On Rails the 3 rd and they decided to.............                                                                                                                                                                  

Edited September 1, 2021 by bull

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, bull said:

.Tim Tom after arriving,,, after all the ladies did not like his original name and he became despondent . With his head in his hands he cried my name is NOT....

...... Tam,  although I do like to have coffee sucked through my ............

Edited September 1, 2021 by Captain

[bull]

Tim Tam sum after breakfast each day ,Dont you?.........Now come on stop picking on the biscuit ok he really is eating this , which sounds  something like his true name.

Edited September 1, 2021 by bull

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, bull said:

A Monument to Tim Tom Track after the opening of the railways in 1880. And the latest business meeting between Tim Tom Track and his distant relative  Kim On Rails the 3 rd and they decided to...........

......... leave their jackets on during the fancy lunch, as there was no CoaTrack in the room .... and once that was decided they could not Back-Track either.

Edited September 1, 2021 by Captain

[bull]

[NOTICE] 

4 minutes ago, Captain said:

......... leave their jackets on during the fancy lunch, as there was no CoaTrack in the room.

NES rules say that this kind of attack against the Track family with supposed humour is nothing but "Harrassment" so EEAANnnnn can you wield your sword???

Edited September 1, 2021 by bull

[bull]

5 minutes ago, Captain said:

......... leave their jackets on during the fancy lunch, as there was no CoaTrack in the room .... and once that was decided they could not Back-Track either.

[NOTICE] Also EEAAAAAANNNNNnnnnn the rats attack also constitutes "Harrassment and should also be punished accordingly forthwith ,,Thank you.

[onetrack]

Despite the abject failure of the Jedi Rat to leave the NES position open, and his closing of the NES story with a full stop - OT, HT, and Tim Tom decided that the NES was still worth pursuing.

It hasn't been fully revealed in the aforementioned postings, but the meeting shows a very high level meeting (the 34th floor, to be exact), between high-ranking NK officials and members of the Track family, along with several of TCI's representatives (Turbo couldn't make it, as he was tied up with mining problems centred around bottling the Caesium, so it didn't evaporate), to put ink to a deal for NK to purchase large quantities of TCI's Caesium production.

 

This deal was valued at US$138B (as all proper mining sales are done in USD), and as soon as news of the deal hit the media, TCI shares rocketed to $78 a share, getting Turbo just a little bit closer to his aim of knocking Twiggy off his perch as the second richest West Aussie (as everyone knows Gina is so far in front on the money bin stakes, she makes Scrooge McDuck look positively skint).

 

However, when the first load of Caesium arrived in NK, all hell broke loose. Kim Jong-un was on the phone to Turbo within an hour of the shipment arrival - and as soon as he found out the TCI Caesium wasn't radioactive.

"You conned me, you Imperialist Running Dog Capitalist!!,", he raged over the phone. "This stuff isn't the radioactive Caesium I expected, that would enable us to make another 100 nuclear weapons and put the fear of........

 

Edited September 1, 2021 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.....failure as has happened in the past. "Did you sterilise it before you used it?" asked Turbo and Kim said No, why?

"Well you've ruined it then" said Turbo "It'll never work now, you'll have to ourder another batch, and the prices are rising so fast." Kim fell over himself ordering more.

 

Meanwhile Tim Tom Track had decided he wanted bigger bombs, and, as many Australians do, anglicise his name to Timmy Tommy Tracky and flew into Brisbane where Anna locked him .............

[Captain]

..... in handcuffs and a mask, as she was having trouble getting a local bloke because they had all been locked out south of Tweed Heads, plus she was looking a bit rugged.

 

"Geeez Tazia" said Tim Tom "This is harder than trying to get across the DMZ".

 

"Yes it was, so thanks for that" said Anna, having a quick durry before her next press conference, and as they had a final cuddle she added "And let me give you a tip, that Turbine Minerals is the most experienced & best place to get your cesium, because I am aware from reports from Evinrude that Turdo has been seizing'em for years, when he .....

Edited September 1, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....was smuggling kangaroos out of Kangaroo Island for his Cat Farm up at Rodds Bay and Annastasia had been a Reef Moll on the Heron Island Cat and also the Entertainer at the resort. Turbo would often do the trip to the Island while he was waiting for parts for the Evinrude.

 

Anna would get on the spanners to help him, and he paid her back by funding her election campaigns.

 

Now she was helping him get tracky over the line for another $50 mil, this time for a new resort on Skeleton Cove which..... 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Now she was helping him get tracky over the line for another $50 mil, this time for a new resort on Skeleton Cove which..... 

...... Anna planned to use to house footballer's wives during their 2 weeks of hotel quarantine, but with a twist.

 

At the SK pub, they would quaranteen wives from all football codes at the same time (even the minor codes of Soccer and Hacky Sack), plus they will chuck in a few entitled blonde cricketer's trophy missus's), then Anna plans to secretly film the buildup of sexual & other tensions by introducing bull and Turbo as the resident Toy Boyz after all those wives have been deprived for an extended 4 weeks of quarantine.

 

(The CT read this post & quickly prepared to send off his Application to attend)

 

"It won't be pretty but will make great tele" said Anna "As these girls will make ISIS-K look like boy scouts when they ........ 

Edited September 1, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....rattle their weapons and fire ................

[onetrack]

.....up for the Survivor course being run on the Island. As part of their Survivor training, they need to be able to wrestle all the men into submission and hog-tie them, and of course, they'll also need......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.....up for the Survivor course being run on the Island. As part of their Survivor training, they need to be able to wrestle all the men into submission and hog-tie them, and of course, they'll also need......

........ some nipple clamps and a ..........

[Captain]

11 hours ago, Captain said:

best place to get your cesium, because I am aware from reports from Evinrude that Turdo has been seizing'em for years,

ADMIN - WE FEEL COMPELLED TO COMMENT THAT WE ARE VERY DISAPPOINTED AT THE LACK OF APPRECIATION SHOWN BY NES'ERS AT THE SKIPPER'S SOMEWHAT CLEVER, IF NOT BRILLIANT, PLAY ON WORDS TO CONNECT "CESIUM" AND "SEIZING'EM" IN A HIGHLY ENTERTAINING YET RELEVANT CONTRIBUTION. WHAT THE F DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU BLOKES AND BLOKETTES TO PUSH THE LIKE BUTTON ON THAT POST? I'M STILL STUCK IN GLENELG BUT EVEN GIVEN THE LIMITED SENSE OF HUMOR OF SA'LIANS, I CAN SEE THE MERIT IN THE SKIPPER'S FINE WORK.

Edited September 2, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

[What's a button?]

[turboplanner]

......clamp-nipple type grease gun for the tour trailers which have to go over some very rough ground.

Also ample drink bottles and sunscreen, and ............