The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

........shown here being eaten by a large group of Shriners from South Dakota, before their main course, roast Koala loins.

"Delicious" said Sue-Anne Johnston, a restaurant owner from Sioux Falls. "and I would know!", but ................

[onetrack]

......I'd slather an additional two quarts of high-fructose corn-syrup-based gravy on the loins, to mellow the strong Eucalyptus flavour. And it needs some grits to add crunchiness to the meal, and to make Americans feel right at home!"

 

"But then we would lose the true Australian RoadKill Grill flavour!", said bull, alarmed that any attempt to modify his recipes would end up in reduced sales - just like KFC and Hungry Jacks when they tried menu variations and people stayed away in droves.

 

"I've got an idea that encourage more people into your RoadKill cafes", said OT. "You need to add playgrounds to your cafe, where the kids can play video games and pretend to drive a Kenworth over a 'roo, complete with fur and splatter. Kids love those great realistic details!"

 

But trouble was looming as PETA and Tash Peterson showed up in force at the DG RoadKill cafe. Not only was Tash Peterson wearing next to nothing again, there were PETA members who looked like Rebel Wilson after a 3-week binge at the cakes counter at the DG bakery, and this was enough to send the patrons fleeing.............

 

Edited September 8, 2021 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.........except Cappy of course, who'd go for anything except ...........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.........except Cappy of course, who'd go for anything except ...........

...... a XXXX sandwiche.

 

Just like the pushback against the Texas anti-abortion laws, the PETA girls and Bett Middler proposed a sex boycott until people stopped eating at the RkC.

 

This suited bull as it gave him a chance to restock with manky roos from between Broken Hill and Wilcannia, plus Bett had been pestering him for years and was demanding favors twice weekly, which had damaged bull's back.

 

So once the RkC warehouse and distribution centers were full, and Bett was decidedly empty, bull resolved to stick .......

Edited September 8, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

Further to my above post, do you have appropriate sympathy for bull's back?

 

And his front?

 

See below.

And this photo was taken before her sex boycott.

 

For Turdboy's edification, this post is not designed as one for following on from, so there are no dots. So please go back to the previous one.

Edited September 8, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Was that the photo of you at The Guineabissau BNS Cap?

 

[turboplanner]

......to the Tasmanian custom of .............

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Was that the photo of you at The Guineabissau BNS Cap?

 

No, you clot, that is bull's main squeeze ............. and responsible for dislocating his 3rd, 5th and 13th vertebrae.

 

bull is a total mess and may never fly (avref) or XXXX (bettref) again.

Edited September 8, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........grabbing, and he was in the process of explaining when someone shoved a newspaper into his hand. bull's face turned white as he saw the TV Network cars filing into town. He thought of telling them that Cappy handled the rabbit operation, but knew that once Cappy started talking .........................................

[onetrack]

.....there'd be no way of keeping anything secret from the baying mobs. Bull had to think fast. It was time to use the pollies excuse - "It didn't happen under my watch, it was the previous incumbent".

 

Meanwhile, the Police, the RSPCA, numerous publicity-seeking politicians, PETA activists, Tash Peterson, and every other animal activist from the Animal Justice Party on down, had gathered at the front gate of bulls rabbit farm. The only thing keeping them out was the solid iron gates, and the Assa Abloy padlock, which bull had specially selected for the job, knowing full well, this day might come.

 

But the frightening thing to bull was the sheer numbers of people wanting in to his rabbit farm, to check out what was really happening there. Suddenly, there was a huge commotion as Tash Peterson stripped right off.

 

Police attention was diverted from the rabbit farm investigation, to the more interesting job of arresting a nude Tash Peterson. But Peterson wasn't hanging around to be arrested.

She threw her placard onto the fence, and used it as a ramp to scale it, which she did with amazing alacrity, and then she was off............

 

Edited September 8, 2021 by onetrack

[bull]

Looking for Bull , but whilst all the attention had been on her and the fence Bull had already scarpered out the back and soon the snarly throaty roar of a 503 rotax at full song came from out the back paddock and Bull was gone disappearing into the fading light of day .    Now who we gunna blame cried   Ot,,,,,who discovered as he turned around that he was all alone as turdy and the rat had slipped away and where rapidly heading for DG international to get out of the country. Bloody ell i,ll have to................[the police where getting closer]

Edited September 8, 2021 by bull

[turboplanner]

...........take the rap for this, knowing that Mark Nightgown would NEVER let him back into WA becaise he was no considered not only soild goods, but even worse - a Wise Man From the East (WMFE), and as thousands of successful businessmen have found over the years .................

[Captain]

..... our so called "fellow Australians" in the west are a different breed of ochre encrusted sand monkey, who have a chip on both shoulders and an unhealthy .........

 

PS - This well identified trait of our WA cousins has been partly assuaged by OT who seems, at first glance, to be quite a decent chap. 

Edited September 8, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........demeanor, and as the multiple Inspectors gathered around OT, he sneezed in a way which could only be described as volcanic. Not only did he hit the lot with droplets of spray, but slime and what appeared to be last night's pizza.

 

As a result, every one of them had to retire to the nearest Motel, in this case The Fat Bunny, and isolate for 14 days.

 

OT seized this opportunity to ..............

[Captain]

47 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

 

OT seized this opportunity to ..............

...... promote Trackbine Industries (TI) which had been inspired by the Twigster and by the success in the east of Turdy's own TI.

 

Dr Onesie had therefore bought himself a PhD and had taken the Trackbine Industries conglomerate (TIC) public with a flourish that has seldom been seen in ..........

Edited September 8, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....Australia, since Clive Palmer started up Mineralogy. OT - despite his mining, trucking and farming background - had decided the aim of Trackbine Industries was to get in on the huge money to be made from the COVID-19 cures, that didn't involve vaccination.

 

He'd seen how popular the Chinese herbal medicines had become, since the percentage of the Asian population in Australia had soared, ever since they found out Kevin Rudd spoke Mandarin, and they thought it was Australia's official second language.

 

OT's plan was for Trackbine Industries (registered in the Netherlands for corporate and tax purposes, of course) to produce a COVID-19 cure that contained ground-up portions of the important parts of buck rabbits - such as rabbit penis - from rabbits that had survived myxomatosis, calicivirus, and shooting by CT9000.

 

These rabbits chosen, had also avoided becoming roadkill (and therefore, ending up on the menu of the RoadKill Cafe) via the huge number of 4WD's and the fast interstate highway trucks that ran through DG all hours of the day and night. 

 

As a result, they were the healthiest and most cunning surviviors of anything that was designed to kill them - and they had also been found to be totally immune to COVID-19. A few local bushes that the rabbits favoured, were also found, that appeared to offer added flavour for a herbal tea.

 

The end result was Trackbine Industries Herbal Rabbit COVID-19 Cure Tea Mix (TIHRCCTM). As soon as the Asians discovered it, sales went ballistic. When the UAP discovered it, and Clive and Craig threw their combined hefty weights behind it, sales went through the roof!

The factories were unable to keep up, and jars of TIHRCCTM became as highly sought after, and as rare as, new 2021 Landcruisers.

 

OT decided he would have to open more factories in China, so accordingly, he went to.........

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

OT decided he would have to open more factories in China, so accordingly, he went to........

....... great length to disguise that fact and printed up labels that said "Made in far northern Vietnam" and "Manufactured in far southern Russia".

 

But that was the least of OT's worries as Trackbine Industries had been summonsed by the Mextorian RSPCA (as sponsored by Turbine Industries under a litigation funding scam) for which the pleadings commenced "Here we are with bunnies surviving all those issues as described (and admitted) in Dr. Onesie's above post, and now Trackbine Industries (Booooo Hisssss) want to cut their XXXXs off to make a powdered affro-dizzy-ack and a potion to fix .............  

 

PS - For completeness & to comply with Vicmanistan law (some of which are Sharona in nature under Mohamed bin Andrews), Wreck Flying must disclose that the above Pleadings were settled by Mr J. Rat and Mr. B. Salty of Counsel. 

Edited September 9, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......Covid-19.

It was OT who had noted the intense interest from some of the thousands of WreckedAv [avrep] who totally rejected the vaccines hawked by the Evil Empire and the lockdowns put in place by the nicknames we can't mention here.

 

And so Trackbine introduced "Double Dose Vaccinate", a rabbit product which the patient drinks.

DDV provides immediate protection from Covid -19 and Trackbine provides an ornate Double Dose Vaccinated Passport for the Patient's convenience. 

 

It wasn't long before ............

 

 

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......Covid-19.

It was OT who had noted the intense interest from some of the thousands of WreckedAv [avrep] who totally rejected the vaccines hawked by the Evil Empire and the lockdowns put in place by the nicknames we can't mention here.

 

And so Trackbine introduced "Double Dose Vaccinate", a rabbit product which the patient drinks.

DDV provides immediate protection from Covid -19 and Trackbine provides an ornate Double Dose Vaccinated Passport for the Patient's convenience. 

 

It wasn't long before ............

 

 

........ the Evil Empire (EE), being Turbine Industries and their various flunkies, brought out their own DDV which was manufactured in an old copper water heater in the back of the Moorabbin knock shop (as owned by TI) from powdered rhinoceros horns, anteater's snouts and kiwi's beaks (which are in a bit of short supply atm, so the every resourceful {and shonky} Turdboy substituted ............... 

Edited September 9, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......old Coke bottles which had a similar texture.

Turbine Industries registered the advertising jingle which started with "Have you been Double Dose Vaccinated yet" which had tens of thousands of people per day swerving and going into their local Coles, Woolworths of IGA store for a DDV instead of that nasty painful needle in crowded vaccination centres.

This caught Trackbine by surprise because OT hadn't thought of marketing through supermarkets and had been pluggig away through Doctors', Dentists; surgeries.

The cash rolled in for a short time, but ........................

 

[onetrack]

.......then, as sales slowed, OT had to think up a suitable response to kill off the threat from Turbines competing product. What better way to do that, than emphasise that rabbits were not an endangered species, as were the ingredients in the DDV product.

 

The marketing push of TIHRCCTM changed to subtle suggestions that if you used the Turbine DDV product, you'd just ensured the final extermination of those endangered species.

 

The ads worked and the Turbine Industries DDV product started to disappear from the supermarket shelves as Coles and Woolworths marketing AI picked up that they were backing a loser. Thousands of bottles of DDV started appearing in "clearance" trolleys at giveaway prices, as the supermarkets threw it out for cents in the dollar.

 

Turbo was starting to get desperate. He couldn't see his product fail - nothing he had ever touched, hadn't been a major winner - yet here was a Johnny-come-lately from the West taking all his sales and profits, with a product that was hard to beat. He needed to consult with.......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

He needed to consult with......

...... Brett Sutton, who moonlighted for Turdy as a snake-oil salesman.

 

Brett suggested that Turbine Industries cut and run by unloading the rest of the stock of their coke-bottle infused DDV through farmer's markets out bush and via roadside stalls in Jakarta & Mumbai. (While TI is now way bigger than ICI, Brett failed (what a dill) to warn Tubb about a repeat of the Bhopal incident, which would put the Turbine fortune at risk).

 

Turdy was shocked because he had never had his clock cleaned so thoroughly previously and he saw that everyone on the NES (and aviators worldwide) wanted to know & be seen with Dr OT, so he ......

Edited September 9, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............quietly drained the rabbit P vats at Darraweit Guim, excised them from the travel poster and sold the last of his stock to the Catholic Church as Communion Wine, and had his photo taken with a testimonial to Dr OT.

"That should do it" he thought, and ........................

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

............quietly drained the rabbit P vats at Darraweit Guim, excised them from the travel poster and sold the last of his stock to the Catholic Church as Communion Wine, and had his photo taken with a testimonial to Dr OT.

"That should do it" he thought, and ........................

........ investigated conversion to the Muslim faith, however relocation to Bandung on the slopes of the volcano and the new identity as Turdboy bin Turbine (and no grog ..... nor chick magnet Corvette) just didn't do it for him, or his hareem, so his ................... 

Edited September 9, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........plan was to just stall if the press came sniffing around, and sure enough ................