The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

..... fklying ....

Only OT, the old smoothy, knew of the BBW's Lithuanian ancestry and therefore spoke to her in her native tongue, using emotive words such as "fklying", but this had the desired effect, as OT knew it would.

 

1 hour ago, bull said:

madam if you would like to come over here i,ll take you fklying in my jabiru best ......

"Amksk I korekt in aksuming that you meansk zat you haff en "Beast" there for me und is it ze zame as Turbo's?" the BBW asked in her best Lithuanian engrish.

 

OT blushed because he knew that he could not compete, but it was worth a try, so he .........

Edited October 4, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

......decided he would try a different approach. "Oh, I haff en Beast, for sure. But you're looking at ze beast - wiz me, you don't just get a weapon that the owner can't use properly - you get the animal that goes with it! Remember, it's not the size of the weapon, but how it's used, that matters!"

 

"Oooohh, you naughty boy!!", the BBW exclaimed in delight. "I am lookink forward to zis wiz excitement, it must be better than.........

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"Oooohh, you naughty boy!!", the BBW exclaimed in delight. "I am lookink forward to zis wiz excitement, it must be better than.........

.... Christmas if you are to compete with Turbo.

 

And with OT's above post he became identified throughout the Ozzie Aviation Community (OAC) merely as a life support system for his .......

Edited October 4, 2021 by Captain

[bull]

sexual assistance device from Turbine sex machines inc modelled after the founder apparantly! Well ,said OT [a bit put out for being doxed]      i have a warranty claim as the bloody thing will not...............

Edited October 5, 2021 by bull

[Captain]

..... extend past .....

[bull]

4 oclock,what bloody good is that?..........Turbo just smiled and said,have you checked your ti................

Edited October 5, 2021 by bull

[Captain]

.....

10 minutes ago, bull said:

Turbo just smiled and said,have you checked your ti.....

......cker on 3 counts?"

 

The 1st is that it may not have extended now that daylight saving has started (as you wouldn't want that to happen at the bus stop or on the train every morning).

 

The 2nd is that it might just be the equivalent of a frightened turtle.

 

And the 3rd is that your ti......

Edited October 5, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...................lbury might need some grease on its axles or some attention to the floorboards and ......

[onetrack]

.....when you've carried out this maintenance, you'll find the device extension will work admirably at all times, and the extra speed generated, will bring about.......

[bull]

37 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....when you've carried out this maintenance, you'll find the device extension will work admirably at all times, and the extra speed generated, will bring about.......

rewards beyond belief,,,you will be showered with woman  and cash and all but and it is a big but!  As the TSAD is manufactured in Poland the original time stamp needs to be changed to local time or you,ll encounter OT,s problem he never was too s...........

[turboplanner]

sure of the time because his eyesight was poor, so a carried a grandfather clock in the back of his ute. A cop had stopped him for speeding once just before two pm, and when the chime went off the cop ............

[bull]

thought that............

 

[onetrack]

....it was knockoff time, so he let OT go, and went home to his .......

[turboplanner]

.........cop shop where they were all ...............

[bull]

watching reruns of sesame street. what this has to do with aviation i really dont know except maybe big bird ,but did he fly...

[turboplanner]

.....and stuff like that, but it was a ruse to fool bull into thinking they were playing games when the words were code for what was really going on which was a investigation of the "bull invasion of Her Majesty's Tasmania" the file said.

Under the guikse of Sesame street characters and Disney identities they'd been able to collect a lot of information about illegal immigration from bone, travelling through Victoria without a permit, unregistered aircraft, overloaded aircraft, flying without a certificate, failure to carry correct documentation - these last with the assistance of a Tasmanian FoI dressed as Kermit, and a list of complaints from the female members of the bone RSL who had been looking for him for months in regard to maintenance payments. The Assistant Commissioner, dressed as Ernie announced ..................

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Ernie announced ......

.... that, regrettably after a lot of social media rumours, Aloysius Snuffleupagus has finally been charged with using his trunk to .....

 

HIS ARREST PICTURE

Edited October 5, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

......regularly avoid becoming visible. This cute trick was one that bull studied at great length, because there were many times when bull wished he was invisible - particularly when word got around, about his previously-unknown highly illegal exploits in a Jackaroo, which he'd rather not become general knowledge.

Then came the day when the identification of illegal immigrants in Tasmania was raised, and everyone in the room turned to look at bull. 

Bull wished he'd brought his Snuffleupagus outfit that day, as he tried to make himself invisible without it. But his invisibility act failed, and he was obliged to.........

[turboplanner]

..............prop-start the local Club Auster J3 (HumourRef), and had been seen flying without the necessary documents, and tail-down as he checked out the white pointerds on the beach. 

Big Bird reported that he'd been roosting on a branch of the big Ficus tree in the main street, where he couldn't be seen and bull had been picking up some of the ugliest and ...............................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Big Bird reported that he'd been roosting on a branch of the big Ficus tree in the main street, where he couldn't be seen and bull had been picking up some of the ugliest and ..........

..... yet the most willing & creative of the local ......

[bull]

galahs for his trained bird act on main street every saturday, and big bird was overcome with gratitude for the way bull looked after his galahs[NES MEMBERS] and decided to warn him . Thanks for the warning pard but i dont need it as you can see i,m .............

[turboplanner]

....puppies and rehoming them with good families but one day a good family phoned in and the language......

[turboplanner]

......trying to make puppies speak English.

If bull had been born and bred in Tasmaina this might have worked, but he wasn't in fact teaching them English, but Queensland eh!.

Even in recreational flying, the extra placques on the instrument panel which normally said "port" and "Starboard" had to be changed in Queensland to "Suitcase" and "Starboard", and not only that but..............

[Captain]

..... engraved plaques were legislated for Qld registered aircraft that showed an arrow for UP and another for DOWN.

 

The success of this requirement was immediately evident in the accident statistics, so all Qld aircraft were then required to designate, via a sign, which end is the front of the aircraft and .....

Edited October 6, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....which end was the tail. The problem then, was getting Queenslanders to read the signs. This necessitated another sign saying, "read the bloody signs!" - as well as, "shut the bloody door!"

 

The last signage was necessary after numerous Queenslanders (and ex-Queenslanders, who posed as Tasmanians), took off with doors flapping, which led to some distress on their passengers behalf.

 

"Ahh, that's nothing to worry about!", said bull, after one notable takeoff with an open door, which necessitated a return to land. "The only problem that might occur, is if the swinging door hits a 'roo on takeoff! Gee, that that can do a bit of damage, I tell ya!"

 

"But we don't have a problem with that in Tassie, anyway! There's only one type of 'roo here and they're in low numbers, so no worries, eh? But the big worry here is those Tassie Devils, that just run out of nowhere, and who'll take a bite out of......