The Never Ending Story

[bull]

knocking out the power cord thungys  of 4 trams as they flew [avref]  past them ,this did not sit well with Turbine Power and Utilities [who dan had just sold the whole southern power network to] who issued a bill for the use of the power to enlighten said area of operations [St,Kilda Rd]to enable the formation low level operations along it,s lenght.   OOHhhh said Mavis,,, now that your talking about lenghts ,you should see the one on...........

Edited October 20, 2021 by bull

[Captain]

4 hours ago, bull said:

OOHhhh said Mavis,,, now that your talking about lenghts ,you should see the one on...........

.... bull, as he can't fly anywhere near as low as Turbo does, as when coming down Sy Kilda Rd in a Drifter, bull looks like an F16 with its hook down searching for the cable in a Carrier landing. Having seen that, I can now appreciate why Turbs needs a noisy red sports car to .......

[CT9000]

......get about since they pulled his ticket for the low formation night flights. These flights were a very slight technical infringement of the rules. The argument went along the lines of being before sunset due to the "night sun" light on the Pol air hackelopter meaning it was still day light. The alleged flights took place after curfew when no people were about, as proven by chairman Dan's news promo {sorry news conference} stating that people were complying with the lock down rules so therefor the witness audience were not actually there. In the interests of safety the drunk bike owner at Young & Jacksons who also was not there will not ride his bike home without a light. The Thruster pilot did not have a light because there were no more bikes on the foot path outside the pub so he had to follow the Drifter close. In conclusion the several laps around the block of Swanson Bourke Elizabeth and Flinders streets were for practice to make the whole exercise safer and at at 10 feet it not so far to fall.......

[Captain]

..... but under lockdown rules, that SBEF circuit had gained a following more dedicated than is the case for the Reno Air Races (avref).

 

"It's not as far to go" said one of the fans "And there is nothing so exciting as a Thruster with the bluehead at full throttle, as that is when ........

Edited October 21, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....a piston is likely to come flying out of the block.   

Round and round they went, sometimes just a pair of shadows as the completed the intricate formation flying to roll around the tramwires at intersections.

Vicpol had seen them of course and knew Turbo's aircraft well so decided just to observe. A lot of money changed hands onwho was going to throw the first rod.

Unfortuately some busybody journalist had phone the Chief Commissioner and he ordered  ViCPol SWAT One to intervene. This was the mobile SWAT Command aircraft, an old 1979 Blackhawk bought from US Afghan forces. Most of the police commands were "GET ME OUT OF THIS POS" but we'll leave that story for another day. Just as Turbo rolled under the tram wires and bull rolled over the same wire .........

[CT9000]

......and was nearly hit by the falling vicpol hakalopter that was out of fuel due to the bullet holes in the fuel tanks  (they use big bullets where this thing came from)......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, CT9000 said:

......and was nearly hit by the falling vicpol hakalopter that was out of fuel due to the bullet holes in the fuel tanks  (they use big bullets where this thing came from)......

....... however the chopper was saved and all of the VicPol brown shirts therein were hunky dory when Dan, who has been sent to save all Mextorians, walked out onto the steps of Parliament House and did his best JC impersonation to set the Haklyopter down gently on the tram tracks.

 

"The crowd were incredulous and ..........

 

DAN DOING HIS BEST POPE IMPERSONATION

 

 

LIKE THIS POPE

 

 

BUT NOT THIS POPE

Edited October 21, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........adoring.

”Lock us up!, Lock us up!, Lock us up! chanted the population hoping that no one would ever have to go to work again or .....

[bull]

that chairman dan would not notice them all turning over their coats,to show bright yellow safety vests under them ,and a whole new protest was born.  Now ofcourse vicpol where not too happy about that ,BUT under the new safety first protocol of vicpol it was thought better to use leathal force this time [danny boy could be heard muttering "no rubber bullets this time boys sort this out once and for all' ,strap those surplus twin 50,Cal,s one each side ,,do it now he chanted or i will make it a mandate and you wont have a job.....Now this angered the police flyboys no end and they decided to............................

Edited October 21, 2021 by bull

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

Now this angered the police flyboys no end and they decided to...........

....... hand everyone in the crowd a blonde wig & some suitably shaped padding, so that they all looked like Lawyer X. They were therefore all protected species and the VicPol Commissioner hid their identities (apologies to all NESers for the use of the word "tities").

 

This worked a treat, until Turbo dressed up as Tony MXkbel (in a bad hair hat, see below), shot up Lygon St, then tried to mount the best looking Lawyer X impersonator .......

 

TURBO AND HIS BAD RUG, WHICH BLEW OFF EVERY TIME THE 'VETTE WENT OVER 60.

 

 

TURBS WITH THE BEST LOOKING OF THE PADDED PROTESTERS.

Edited October 21, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....with very little success - because the Lawyer X impersonator he tried to mount, was none other than bull, doing his leading part in the COVID-19 lockdown protest crowd.

"Gerroff me, ya fat wog!!", cried bull, "I'm not a lawyer, and not a woman either! Can't ya see I'm wearing a wig and padding!"

"But I heard you like it Greek-style!", said smooth Tony. "You know us Greeks! A hole is a hole is a hole, and we aren't too fussy about whether it's .......

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"You know us Greeks! A hole is a hole is a hole, and we aren't too fussy about whether it's .......

...... Melbourne, Geelong or Moorabbin, they are all holes." said Tony.

 

bull adjusted his clothing, moved the padding around to where it was supposed to be and presented his best ..... 

 

bULL'S DISHEVELED LAWYER X LOOK

Edited October 21, 2021 by Captain

[bull]

look to those present,,,and departerd the scene ..................

[onetrack]

....with Cappy stating, as bull left - "Well, if that's his best look, I'd hate to see his worst look!" "That can't possibly be bull?", said OT. "First off, bull never dresses up like that! Secondly, he never gets a haircut like that, and thirdly, he doesn't have the calloused hands of a Jackeroo pilot, which is a dead giveaway, and which shows that bull has paid someone to.........

 

Edited October 21, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

18 hours ago, onetrack said:

and which shows that bull has paid someone to.........

..... provide the Julius Marlows .......... and the upright body, as bull is usually bent over like a senior citizen and crippled with arthritis, like a ......

 

NO, THESE ARE NOT CHOOK'S FEET, THESE ARE bULL'S ARTHRITIC HANDS, CAUSED BY

YEARS OF XXXX ABUSE, SWINGING THE PROP ON THE JACKOFF AND PLAYING GUITAR

IN TOP 40 ROCK BANDS.

Edited October 22, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........Thruster pilot after spending twenty years trying to wrestle the thing every nautical mile of the flight, and then sustain the typical Thruster landing on that horrible suspension which is like ...........

[Captain]

..... a billykart with ball-bearing wheels, on a .....

[turboplanner]

.........gavel road. I fact the landing roll looks very much like a chook resettling on the nest with the wheels splaying in and out and the wings flapping up and down, and ..................

[bull]

Amazing how that old thruster could land in 40 ft and weave its way around all the crashed jibarus and litewings and all the other plastic junk lining the runways today, and with the prop being so high it also made it easier to................

[CT9000]

......hit your head on  so the blood in your hair helps keep the afore mentioned hair out of your eyes .......

[Captain]

..... which can then be used for .....

[turboplanner]

.........part of the see and be seen policy.

Not many people know that one of the reasons Bull uses the lower case bull was from a severe injury received when he was deployed to Afghanistan. one day bull walked up to a stone wall to relieve himself and didn't realise that 40 Isis soldiers were crouched behind it. One of them thre an IED over and took off the top of his head and part of his face. This didn't stop Bull who opened up with his weapon and killed 38 with gunfire and had to choke the other two because he was out of ammo.

 

He was evacuated and surgeons grafted on a tin skull, and made a new check from one of the cheeks of his bum.

 

One disconcerting result, when you were talking to bull was when he farted his cheek would vibrate, but we all got used to that.

 

When he was flying the Thruster and the prop was hitting his head it made a sound like a cowbell when the cow was heading for home.

 

The disadvantage was that no matter how clear of stock the paddock was, by the time he had rolled to a stop, 50 cowns had bailed him up and ..............

[onetrack]

.......were looking for a feed. But bull was pretty good at scattering cattle with the 12G shotgun he regularly carried on the Thruster - as a result of his aerial rabbit-culling sessions at DG airport with CT9000.

 

However, as bull was often a little too trigger-happy - and being surrounded by 50 cows all looking for a feed made him even more trigger-happy than normal - he managed to blow away 2 cows as he tried to clear the herd from around the Thruster.

 

This led to an angry farmer rolling up quickly, to find a couple of his prize cows dead as doornails, and he soon.......

[turboplanner]

.......introduced himself as Dave. "These are stud cows worth $15,000 each" he said "so for a start you're up for $30,000 compensation + 10% interest, but that's not all. I fly a Cirrus from that bitumen airstrip through the fence 50 metres away, so I think you must be blind; do you have a medical?"

"We don't have to" replied bull in that sarcastic way of the typical RA pilot, "it's only a driver's licence standard".

"Well since you didn't see the biggest airstrip in this region I figured you had an eyesight problem, so I talked to my mate, Senior Sergeant Doubtfire and she'll be here soon to do a test". bull had heard about Doubtfire in the NES and an involuntary shiver ran up his spine. It ran down again when Dave said "You understand it is illegal to land without permission? I've taken the libery to make CASA FOI Mad Max Bruiser aware of this incident and he's coming over too; he's in our clay target club."

They heard a siren and saw a long plume of dust on No Hope Road and then a dust plume from the opposite direction as Mad Max gunned the 1986 powder blue Camry, knowing that whoever got there first had first go at bull.

The vehicles skidded to a halt a hundred metres each side of bull and both drivers started springing towards bull who particularly noticed the 357 magnum flopping up and down on Doubtfire and the 357 bulge (FOIs were authorised to carry after 9/11) on Mad Max.  They saw each other running and as they got closer a strange thing happened; their strides slowed into slow motion, their eyes locked, their hair gently flopped up and down, ................................

 

[bull]

an

 

.....and Bull was forgotten as the tension between the two exploded in a massive display of lust between Doubtfire and Mad max,,,,clothes where thrown in the air and the public scene that unfolded even shocked Bull,[which is never easy to do]and as the spectators watched the naked exercise develop into a full blown.................

Edited October 24, 2021 by bull