The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

In addition to this the Applicant must ..........

......., like any good 1st Officer on a Cruise Ship, ensure that any unaccompanied female tourists (or males, NTTIAWWT) have the opportunity to partake of his affections and his .........

Edited November 24, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....home-made cakes, which the female tourists would flock to, thanks to their widespread reputation. But unfortunately, thanks to the cake enticements, the 1st Officer always ended up with the fat ones, which was not what he had originally envisaged, when he set out the cake enticements.

Bull had a better idea. Icecreams were the ultimate girl-enticement and he would change the offerings from cakes to icecreams, thus ensuring he got a bigger range of sizes in girls.

Turbo spotted the market immediately bull mentioned icecreams, and within 24 hrs, Turbine Superior Ice Cream vans were being signwritten and contracts had been signed for the supply of......

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....home-made cakes, which the female tourists would flock to, thanks to their widespread reputation. But unfortunately, thanks to the cake enticements, the 1st Officer always ended up with the fat ones, which was not what he had originally envisaged, when he set out the cake enticements.

Bull had a better idea. Icecreams were the ultimate girl-enticement and he would change the offerings from cakes to icecreams, thus ensuring he got a bigger range of sizes in girls.

Turbo spotted the market immediately bull mentioned icecreams, and within 24 hrs, Turbine Superior Ice Cream vans were being signwritten and contracts had been signed for the supply of......

......... Greensleeves music boxes (Turbs lacks imagination sometimes) and soft serve machines plus a supply of 5 tonnes of crushed nuts, so that it reminded Turbo of his .....

[turboplanner]

...."Ice Creams With A Kick quickly shortened to ICWAK by those on the know and the girls were all over bull to the extent of................

 

[We must mention the contribution of Cappy, whoe shot of frozen gin gave this marketing momentum]

 

[Captain]

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...."Ice Creams With A Kick quickly shortened to ICWAK by those on the know and the girls were all over bull to the extent of................

....... rubbing soft-serve all over bull's body (including even there), which sent him into convulsions when the gin got into his ......

Edited November 25, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....hair, and messed up his mullet. But bull wasn't dismayed, this had happened before, in his previous life as a TV-documentary-starring, long-distance trucker. In that previous life, he'd spent huge amounts of time just trying to avoid the groupies waiting in ambush for him, and who'd then tear his........

[turboplanner]

.....blue singlet and pinch his thongs and sunnys. It was a cruel world bull had lived in at ........

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....blue singlet and pinch his thongs and sunnys. It was a cruel world bull had lived in at ........

........ various concerts, where his loyalty switched back & forth umpteen times between ACDC and Slim Dusty (bull fancied Joy a bit too), but when Slim released "The Lights on the Hill", bull was .......

Edited November 25, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....ecstatic, and the song became his signature tune, on those lo-o-ong road trips in his K-Whoppa. But then came the day the CD player stopped - and no matter what bull tried, he could not make it operate again.

What was he going to do? He still had 1500kms of lo-o-ong lonely road to go, and the camera team were wa-aay up ahead, and now he'd only have the sound of the Cummins and the humming tyres to listen to, which would bore anyone to tears after the first 100 kms - and then there was the sound of the stock, as well!

Yes, Dear NES readers, bull had been a long-distance stock truck driver in a former life, and the smell of cow dung clung to him like.........

[Captain]

14 minutes ago, onetrack said:

Yes, Dear NES readers, bull had been a long-distance stock truck driver in a former life, and the smell of cow dung clung to him like.........

..... sand in the cracks and crevices of a WA Sand Monkey.

 

"where did bull cook up his stock" asked the CT, who hadn't been paying much attention as the story moved aimlessly, but as per Eeeeean's original charter for the NES, "And was he making beef or chicken or fish stock?" he questioned again.

 

bull laughed at this questioning of his culinary skills, as he was widely known as "The Tasmanian Rick Stein" because of his soft top grey Porsche and his ......... 

 

A TYPICAL WESTERN AUSTRALIAN AFTER THE WIND GETS

UP ABOVE 10 KNOTS.

Edited November 25, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........eggs coque le terre with gin topping. "What's that?' asked Cappy becoming very interested and bull started to tell him the story of the stormy night when he'd been given the fleet Volvo after everyone else grabbed the KWs and he was slowly winding his way north through the Pilliga Scrub with the engine starting to gasp when there was a flash of lightning and he saw the Pilliga Princes standing there in the rain as if she was waiting for a bus. He knew then that he wasn't going to be pulling in to Brisbane the next morning...................

 

[In his extensive researching for new stories for the NES, Turbo checked out the Pilliga scrub a few years ago and searched around for the grave of the Pilliga Princess where she was said to have expired after a long life of frightening truckies. As he walked around in the bush he was able to get photos of a Piliga Man footprint - about twice the size of a human foot, and a part-eaten roo showing not only gouge marks from two very wide teeth, but a broken bone indicating you wouldn't want a love bite from one of them. The movement of a tree branch, a grunt, and a quick glimpse of flying hair indicated Turbo was very close to becoming the next meal so he took off out of there and never went back.]

[onetrack]

.....because the Princess was beckoning him. He pulled up, set the handbrake, and jumped out to catch up with the Princess. But she was fleet of foot, and bull was soon left far behind her. Then suddenly, she disappeared, just as all truckies visual road fantasies do. Bull was stunned, how could she disappear like that? This was worse than his sighting of the Nullarbor Nymph! At least he'd been able to see the Nullarbor Nymph in daylight, and she was.........

[turboplanner]

6 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....because the Princess was beckoning him. He pulled up, set the handbrake, and jumped out to catch up with the Princess. But she was fleet of foot, and bull was soon left far behind her. Then suddenly, she disappeared, just as all truckies visual road fantasies do. Bull was stunned, how could she disappear like that? This was worse than his sighting of the Nullarbor Nymph! At least he'd been able to see the Nullarbor Nymph in daylight, and she was.........

....also easy to see because she was very wide. So wide in fact that she was required to carry a sign on her rear reading "OVERSIZE" and .........

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....also easy to see because she was very wide. So wide in fact that she was required to carry a sign on her rear reading "OVERSIZE" and .........

..... once the Nullabor Nymph (NN) read these posts, then also realised that her Nymphishness was under threat from the Pilliga Princess (PP) ............... [this is akin to the Yeti (Meh-Teh) (Turboref) feeling threatened by articles & photos about BigFoot (Cappyref) in the monthly National Geographic monthly tits and bums magazine] .......... , so the NN joined the Nullabor Sports Gym & Roadhouse located 300 m north of Bunda Cliffs, where she hit the machines to reduce her Wide Load.

 

Hearing this, the PP also started lifting weights at the Pilliga Clean-Energy & Carbon Neutral Workout Centre (PCE&CNWC, ..... where all workout energy is recycled into the power grid), and it was there that she came to the attention of ......... 

Edited November 25, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Wally, a clean energy expert. Wally was found by a Reporter at his coal mine with a bucket of water and a scrubbing brush. “No one can say this coal’s dirty” he said and it won an award for the most honest quote of the week as well as........

 

[Captain]

2 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Wally, a clean energy expert. Wally was found by a Reporter at his coal mine with a bucket of water and a scrubbing brush. “No one can say this coal’s dirty” he said and it won an award for the most honest quote of the week as well as........

 

...... that unique quote single handedly reversing the world's push to be Carbon Neutral by 2050 and Wally joined Turbine Hydrocarbon Promotions Company as their MD, where he patented the slogans "Carbon is Good" and "Burn more Hydrocarbon to save the World", and this led to ......

[Captain]

See 3 posts above.

 

 

TURBO IN A RARE PHOTO WHERE HE IS SMILING AND IS NOT INSIDE HIS 'VETTE TRYING

TO CRACK ONTO LADIES IN LYGON ST.

 

 

 

CAPPY - AND NO .... HE IS NOT DOING "THAT" TO THE RACOON.

Edited November 25, 2021 by Captain

[CT9000]

13 minutes ago, Captain said:

...... that unique quote single handedly reversing the world's push to be Carbon Neutral by 2050 and Wally joined Turbine Hydrocarbon Promotions Company as their MD, where he patented the slogans "Carbon is Good" and "Burn more Hydrocarbon to save the World", and this led to ......

.....every one feeling good as the Volvo was an old F10 model seriously overloaded struggling up even the slightest hill belching black smoke enough to cover the highway from gutter to gutter reducing vis {avref} to about 30 feet.........

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

.....every one feeling good as the Volvo was an old F10 model seriously overloaded struggling up even the slightest hill belching black smoke enough to cover the highway from gutter to gutter reducing vis {avref} to about 30 feet.........

...... which led to Wally winning the 2022 Nobel Slogan Prize (he wasn't left wing enough to win the Peace Prize) with his world beating slogans "Smog in Righteous", "Volvo Diesels are positive for the Environment", "Steam Trains Smell Great" "Greta is a Waste of Good Oxygen" and "Methane does you .........

Edited November 26, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

“.......a favour” winning over all the Right to Lifers. Wally was asked to address the US Congress ........

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

“.......a favour” winning over all the Right to Lifers. Wally was asked to address the US Congress ........

....... where, to attract attention and provide a practical demonstration of the benefits of methane, he planned to sidle up to Nancy P and light one of his ..........

[onetrack]

.....coal pipes, which he had designed himself, and which he had a patent on. The coal pipe smoked so clean, the majority of people didn't even know it was lit. Nancy was impressed, she'd always had a "thing" for manly blokes (such as pilots) who smoked pipes, and who wore smoking jackets, and who looked as if even a 7.3 Richter earthquake wouldn't faze them. 

 

"That coal pipe is just amazing! Look at how clean it is! That is going to be the secret to meeting world emission levels in the next decade! All we have to do is convert all cigarette smokers over to Wallys pipe, and the ozone layer will be saved, and we'll be world leaders in emissions reductions and.........

 

Edited November 26, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

"That coal pipe is just amazing! Look at how clean it is! That is going to be the secret to meeting world emission levels in the next decade! All we have to do is convert all cigarette smokers over to Wallys pipe, and the ozone layer will be saved, and we'll be world leaders in emissions reductions and.........

..... with that Wally perched on one foot (in his best Massai warrior stance, see below), bent his other leg and "cleaned out his pipes", while at the same time he "cut the cheese", after which he added a packet of Jatz Crackers (which he also scratched) while everyone looked on with amazement + with pegs on their noses.

 

Wal then nonchalantly sliced a tomato with which to .......

 

 

WALLY'S DEFIANCE OF AUTHORITY, AND OF NANCY, MADE HIM WILDLY

POPULAR AND CROWDS SEARCHED FOR HIM.

 

 

WALLY AND TURBO OFTEN STAND LIKE THIS WHEN THEY ARE

TRYING TO SNEAK ONE OUT.

Edited November 26, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

..... with that Wally perched on one foot (in his best Massai warrior stance, see below), bent his other leg and "cleaned out his pipes", while at the same time he "cut the cheese", after which he added a packet of Jatz Crackers (which he also scratched) while everyone looked on with amazement + with pegs on their noses.

 

Wal then nonchalantly sliced a tomato with which to .......

 

 

WALLY'S DEFIANCE OF AUTHORITY, AND OF NANCY, MADE HIM WILDLY

POPULAR AND CROWDS SEARCHED FOR HIM.

 

 

WALLY AND TURBO OFTEN STAND LIKE THIS WHEN THEY ARE

TRYING TO SNEAK ONE OUT.

Turbo has destroyed four thousand dollar suits while taking up this stance at important board meetings. On the other hand at each of those meetings there was a unanimous vote in favour of what Turbo wanted.

 

[onetrack]

....especially when he became animated with regard to various arguments on positions that he was in favour of - and the animation was in conjunction with some serious spear-waving, in the general direction of those who opposed him.

 

We managed to find a video of Turbo running one of these meetings, and of course, he's the one wearing the suit, and being a little bolshie with the safety officer, who.......