The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

..... and with that the Turbine Industries "We Are All The Same" Multi-Racial Policy was declared a success and adopted by the ......

[turboplanner]

RAA which had had some diversity scares and mild bullying. Cappy once had been accused of...........

[onetrack]

....being a closet gay, and this was reflected in his choice of drinks. Many a time, Cappy was asked to leave bars in the wharf area when he ordered a gin and tonic, whilst everyone else in the bar was drinking XXXX or VB. "I can't understand this rampant bullying over my drink choices?", he complained. "It's not like I've.........

[Captain]

45 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....being a closet gay, and this was reflected in his choice of drinks. Many a time, Cappy was asked to leave bars in the wharf area when he ordered a gin and tonic, whilst everyone else in the bar was drinking XXXX or VB. "I can't understand this rampant bullying over my drink choices?", he complained. "It's not like I've.........

... been flying rag & tube recently, or even worse, been undergoing helicopter training in the past 30 .....

[turboplanner]

......days. "You couldn't fly sh!t!" said one particular XXXX and Cappy took off his shirt to reveal blue singlet and tattoos, one of thedm a Tyro which looked like it had a flat tyre. Cappy.........

[onetrack]

....took a fighting stance and flexed his biceps - and the Tyro tyre automatically assumed an inflated position. "So, who says I can't fly sh*t??, demanded Cappy menacingly.

 

"Do you know who I am?", said aggressive XXXX. "No, who exactly are you?, said Cappy in response. And just like Norm in the Newcastle Song, the aggressive XXXX replied. "You find out, mate!", and he promptly swung.......

[Captain]

.... into officious CASA mode and charged Cappy with fixing a tyre without the correct ......

[turboplanner]

.........tyre lever. "Why, what's wrong with this?" asked Cappy brandishing a ......................

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........tyre lever. "Why, what's wrong with this?" asked Cappy brandishing a ......................

..... longish & sharpish stick, which in Tasmania is called a .......

[turboplanner]

......spoon (As convicts they rejected everything British down there) and started to eat his breakfast......

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......spoon (As convicts they rejected everything British down there) and started to eat his breakfast......

... with his single longish sharpish stick.

 

"I hate to tell you mate, but that's not a spoon" interjected bull, who knew a lot of useful stuff. "That's just a single long & thick chopstick, although I have to admit that it is certainly a big bugger, so ..... because I can see that you are having trouble eating your rice bubbles, may I suggest that you make it smaller, get 2 of 'em as a matched pair and learn to use 'em, Mr. Miyagi style."

 

A YouTube presentation on Chop Stick eating techniques was soon published by bullbine eating utensils PLC (Chop Stick Division) [beuPLC-CSD) and everyone was very surprised when the best take-up of this new technique was from Japan and China, where beuPLC-CSD sold 3 billion of the little wooden buggers. (Hence all of the Huon Pine plantations in Tazzy being chopped down overnight) "In hindsight it might have been better, cheaper and more environmentally sustainable to use bamboo, however my initial Choppies will last 50 years at least and boats can be made out of them after that time" said bull in confidence.

 

"who would have thunk that" commented bull at the AGM (AGM) and he then proceeded to ........

 

 

A RARE PHOTO OF bULL, HIMSELF, TEACHING CHOPSTICK TECHNIQUES

IN HIS MR. MIYAGI COSTUME. THE USAGE OF CHOPSTICKS BECAME SO

POPULAR THAT bULL INSTITUTED A "CHOPSTICK HUMAN FUCTORS COURSE"

TO ENSURE THAT THEY ARE USED SAFELY AND EACH SET COMES WITH

A COMPUTER LINK TO THAT COURSE.

Edited November 28, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

....show everyone at the meeting, the numerous "hacks" you could do with used chopsticks. He showed them as suitable for use as paint stirrers, how they were good for toothpicks (they get big gaps in their teeth in Tasmania), how you could use them as knitting needles (whereby bull promptly knitted up a pair of thick socks for protection against the cold at 4000 feet), how they can be used to unclog glue and sealant tubes, how they could utilised as picture frames, how they can be used as a kitchen whisk, and how they could be used to rescue toast that was stuck in the toaster.

 

In fact, it turned out that there were so many uses for used chopsticks, they started to dominate eBay sales, and eBay had to..............

[turboplanner]

....open up a new offshoot, eBayChopsticks, which then caused the Chinese government to ..................

[Captain]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....open up a new offshoot, eBayChopsticks, which then caused the Chinese government to ..................

..... rename itself the Chinese Chopstick Party (CCP) in an attempt to dominate chopstick manufacturing worldwide, which could have been detrimental to the Tazzy Choppy Making Collective (the TCMC) which was the best thing since .....

 

 

A CHINESE CEREMONY THAT TRIED TO

MISAPPROPRIATE THE TASMANIAN

CHOPSTICK HERITAGE

 

bULL'S MATE AT THE STRAHAN HUON PINE CHOPSTICK MANUFACURING COLLOSSUS.

 

Edited November 28, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........Turbine Devil Hamburgers, which we shouldn't mention because ............................

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........Turbine Devil Hamburgers, which we shouldn't mention because ............................

..... of the tumours, but as Turbs so often says, as his burgers sell like hot-burgers "What is the worst that can happen? Even if ......."

Edited November 28, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....you ate a double burger. It would most likely be the pickle that got you. Not many people know that the pickles are actually the product of the Stumpy Tail Lizard Farm located  near Thargomindah. We can't tell you how the pickles fit in, but just that the Stumpy Tail Lizards sold by them as children's pets didn't always have stumpy tails and ..........................

 

[Captain]

.... hadn't always been filled up by capsicum & condiments being inserted via a piping bag with the nozzle stuck up his ......

[onetrack]

.....left nostril - which regularly made for angry goannas. And when you've got a number of angry goannas, it's time to look out! However, the Stumpy Tail Lizard Farm, being another subsidiary of Turbine Industries Inc, rarely let the odd angry goanna bother them.

 

"Odd Angry Goanna?", said OT, "That's sounds like a winner of a name for a new movie featuring the Outback, two or three crusty old pilots, some wildlife, wild animals of the interior, possibly a few camels thrown in for good measure, and several ultralights that the pilots are fighting for ownership over!"

 

"I couldn't throw a camel, even if I could catch one!", exclaimed Cappy. "Are you considering using myself, bull and Cappy as the stars of this new movie?", said Turbo eagerly. "I'll have to see if..........

[turboplanner]

.....Sly will be in it then we can have a scenario of sly being captured by a tribe of giant African Americans fron a hidden valley south east of Alice.........

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....Sly will be in it then we can have a scenario of sly being captured by a tribe of giant African Americans fron a hidden valley south east of Alice.........

...... 's joint a little SW of the Freycinet ..... and just to be quite clear, they will be female (NTTIAWWT) African Americans (NTTIAWWTE) who will play the part of a tribe of Amazonian female warriors, playing the part of a Greens Party Female Collective (the most fearsome of all primitive tribes) who will be ........

Edited November 29, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......led by the most fearsome warriors of them all, Lidless Thor and Soure Handme Lunch. These two warriors had singl-handedly ............

[Captain]

32 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......led by the most fearsome warriors of them all, Lidless Thor and Soure Handme Lunch. These two warriors had singl-handedly ............

....... frightened the tripe (and the custard) out of the 22nd SAS & 29th Commando Regiments who are responsible for security at Parliament House.

 

"Geeez mate" said the Major in charge (identity & photo suppressed) "Have you seen the underarms & leghair on those greens ladies? After seeing those and listening to a couple of speeches by Sara Handsome Old, most of our blokes volunteered to go back and fight anyone who sticks their head up in Afghanistan, even after we had pulled out, because the Hindu Kush and the caves in Tora Bora look pretty cushy (kushjokeref) in comparison to .........

Edited November 29, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....dealing with the female warriors of the Greens Party Female Collective! I mean to say, there nothing more vicious and violent than a hairy-legged Greens peace protester!"

 

Meantimes, OT had organised top actresses and actors, and a huge number of extras for the forthcoming movie. He also organised a large number of RA-Aus ultralight owners to feature in the film, as it was to be seriously aviation-related, and more importantly, recreational-aviation-related.

As with all good movies, it would feature horror sections (combat with Greens warriors), bravado (starring Cappy), devious businessmen (Turbo), backwoods truckers (bull), casual shooting from aircraft (CT9000), a hero (OT), and all these actors would feature above the Hollywood "names" that would be included, simply as a nod to the American motion-picture industry.

 

Then there was the finance angle to be arranged. Movies such as this took hundreds of millions to produce and OT wasn't about to let the movie fall over, thanks to a lack of financing. He called up......

 

Edited November 29, 2021 by onetrack

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

Then there was the finance angle to be arranged. Movies such as this took hundreds of millions to produce and OT wasn't about to let the movie fall over, thanks to a lack of financing. He called up......

....... Cappy and asked him to grow his expansive locks into a Javier Bardem menacing haircut through which is bravado is to be directed, before ............

 

 

CAPPY PROJECTING HIS SKILLS AT THE INITIAL SCREEN TRIALS.

HIS PORTRAYAL OF THE JAVIER HAIRCUT & PERSONALITY WERE MESMERIZING,

NOT TO MENTION HIS USE OF THE COMPRESSED AIR THINGO (ALEC

BALDWIN-LIKE) ON THE  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR, WHO THEN NEEDED TO BE

DISPOSED OF (SHALLOW-GRAVEREF) AND REPLACED.

Edited November 29, 2021 by Captain