The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

3 hours ago, planedriver said:

HELP!

We desperately need more input into this thread which has been purely dominated for far too long by just a very few, that I like others have have given up on it which is a shame.

It used to be a great thread enjoyed by so many, and fun for all, but domination has become over-bearing.

So, if any forumites have something to offer to offer which is enjoyable to many, please let's help restore it to something along the lines of what it was many years ago.

Yes, I may be a miserable old bastard, but years ago, so many contributed, and it was fun for ALL, not just those who contribute under a various alias's. 

No personal offence intended to those currently involved, but out of the many thousands of members we have, surely we can do a lot better?

If you've not added something humorous, now is your chance. Don't be shy.

Kindest regards, and all the very best wished for the New Year.

Planey.

PS I can't help but wonder how many old members feel the same as i do.

Sorry to even have to ask this, but the truth would be better known for whatever reason if it makes all our enjoyment of this site more enjoyable.

For general information there is no barrier to posting in this thread...... you just lead in from what the last person quote, and you end with a word which let's the next person post.

[planedriver]

Thanks Turbo, you have added so much to this thread, but it would be nice to see many others get involved as well.

[Captain]

53 minutes ago, planedriver said:

Thanks Turbo, you have added so much to this thread, but it would be nice to see many others get involved as well.

"My suggestion is that it should be compulsory for all Wreck Flying members to post on the NES". suggested OT in a very controversial post ...... but obviously influenced by the fact that he has been conditioned by dwelling in the Police State of WA.

 

"I agree" replied bull "Force them to post or kick 'em off the Forum, is my suggestion. And I also think that Planey should be sanctioned for a lack of avrefs in his last 2 NES contributions."

 

"I disagree" replied Ratty, who is much more balanced and fair minded "As Planey is a ..........

Edited December 28, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........and the story slowed as people tried to think of a word. This was like Deja Vu all over again when Cappy was singled out as being rude and using naughty words, and the narrative slowed for several days as people went to the libraries to find dictionaries, and ..........

[planedriver]

aviation references to blind others.

 

Meanwhile across the country, poor old OT has to wipe down his PC before opening his inbox.

 

Poor fellah received a personal text message from the premier direct to his 30yr old Nokia, stating that this had become necessary to help sterilise posts coming from another state.

 

Techie Turbo suggested that a small quantity ethylene oxide should be added to the water of fire trucks spraying all incoming aircraft at Perth Airport.

 

Little was it known, that he had a financial interest in supplying the stuff and was also considering small quantities being made available through the Clear Prop Shop

[planedriver]

Because it's so volatile, it could help getting engines started that have a tired battery, by giving it a an extra kick in the guts.

 

The thought came that it could be marketed in a spray can like Startyerbastard.

[Captain]

42 minutes ago, planedriver said:

Because it's so volatile, it could help getting engines started that have a tired battery, by giving it a an extra kick in the guts.

 

The thought came that it could be marketed in a spray can like Startyerbastard.

....... or the Trackbine Industries more powerful and pithy version KickOverYaWanka (avref), ..... or the Tasmanian version .....

Edited December 28, 2021 by Captain

[planedriver]

Sukorblo,  (avref),  which is reportedly retailed on Gumlytree by an organisation which also manages to build fine aircraft from plans, much to the envy of those that live in a faster moving world where time is of the essence.

In the Apple State, they are sometimes grateful for whatever help they can get due to being only 6 or 7 cancelled Jetsta🔯 flights from reality..........

 

[Captain]

8 hours ago, planedriver said:

Sukorblo,  (avref),  which is reportedly retailed on Gumlytree by an organisation which also manages to build fine aircraft from plans, much to the envy of those that live in a faster moving world where time is of the essence.

In the Apple State, they are sometimes grateful for whatever help they can get due to being only 6 or 7 cancelled Jetsta🔯 flights from reality..........

 

..... and with this post, Planey introduced an issue that the ASIO division of CASA has been investigating for some time.

 

Namely a rather unholy, sinister & clandestine association between Turbo and Ahlox (they think it is financial & not sexual, but further undercover work is needed) as a number of scam organizations have been established in the Riverina, prime examples being GumlyGumlyTree, Twotter, FaeceBook, the AussieTaxOrifice, and .....

Edited December 29, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....FireOne!, a rapid response team able to get to a fire, put it out, brief the press, and have a cup of tea back at the base before the Wagga Wagga Fire Brigade led by Captain Loxie arrived at the scene. Turbo and Loxie jointly announced they were about to franchise the system Australia - wide and also to New Zealand and Tasmania, much like Jim's Mowing, and without a ..................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....FireOne!, a rapid response team able to get to a fire, put it out, brief the press, and have a cup of tea back at the base before the Wagga Wagga Fire Brigade led by Captain Loxie arrived at the scene. Turbo and Loxie jointly announced they were about to franchise the system Australia - wide and also to New Zealand and Tasmania, much like Jim's Mowing, and without a ..................

........ need to have 15 mowers and whipper-snippers nor a green sign-written trailer as well, although franchisees will be encouraged and rewarded to wear FireOne overalls and to have the name tattooed on their ...... 

Edited December 30, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

STOP PRESS - FIREONE HAS BEEN AWARDED THE TIME MAGAZINE BUSINESS OF THE YEAR.

 

("It is perhaps not such a big deal as the year only has about 15 hours to go." commented Ahlox glumly)

 

"We are very pleased that TIME have recognized us in this way" said Turbo with his usual humility "But even more importantly, more significantly and more rewardingly, I am pleased to announce that Planey (avref) has applied to be the FireOne franchisee for NSW, as Earlwood is a very important market for us. 

Edited December 30, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........biceps, with Loxie's reading "FO".  Not everyone ......

 

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........biceps, with Loxie's reading "FO".  Not everyone ......

 

.... has biceps, and in Loxie's case they were just ceps (or perhaps even ce's, but his redeeming feature, as always, is his (or her or its [NTTIAWWTBTW]) .....

[turboplanner]

.......ears. It is said at the Wagga Wagga Fire Station that Loxie can hear a fire crackling almost before the home owner rings 000, but it's also been said by some of the lower ranks that he fans the flames. Loxie .........................

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......ears. It is said at the Wagga Wagga Fire Station that Loxie can hear a fire crackling almost before the home owner rings 000, but it's also been said by some of the lower ranks that he fans the flames. Loxie .........................

...... said "Bugger that, mate, as I have a trusty box of RedHeads and work by the excellent motto (Have matches, stay employed ..... have fire, be a hero (HMSE,HFBAH ..... which by coincidence is also one of the remaining divisions of ISIS, but that's another story).

 

It is a statistical fact (SF) that the number of suspicious fires between Tarcutta and Hay are at 10 times the national average and, by a complete coincidence, Loxie has worked 10 times more overtime, and has bought 10 times more matches, than any other NSW Firey, but that has all been put down to .......

Edited December 31, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...Excessive Combustive Fire Syndrome.

Not many people know that ECFS was first discovered by Joshua Turbine in 1876 when he attended the Gumly Gumly Show and found Holmes Ahlock in front of a tent spruiking that he could start a fire by stroking the breast of a beautiful woman. Wagga locals poured in, not flinching at the entry fee of 7s3p, all clearly interested in the phenomenon of instant fire. What the crowd didn't know was that he'd ordered a crate of ACME Instant Matches which Buffalo Bill Cody used in an act with Annie Oakley. Holmes's model, Mavis Gumly who was one of THE Gumlys was not match for Annie Oakley in looks, figure, or shooting ability. Mavis couldn't hit a shot with a barn.

However Mavis bared her ample bosom, and Holmes struck it with a match which burnt brightly, and he sold so many boxes of matches that he was able to pay Mavis's hospital bill, and build a recreational aircraft. He bought the engine from Hiram Turbine who'd just built a new engine called a two stroke. He designated the model "582 Yellow Head" after General Custer (Australia didn't have military heroes yet) Holmes put the 582 Yellow Head in his recreational aircraft he named "Drifter", but forgot to ...............................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Mavis couldn't hit a shot with a barn.

However Mavis bared her ample bosom, and Holmes struck it with a match which burnt brightly, and he sold so many boxes of matches that he was able to pay Mavis's hospital bill, and build a recreational aircraft. He bought the engine from Hiram Turbine who'd just built a new engine called a two stroke. He designated the model "582 Yellow Head" after General Custer (Australia didn't have military heroes yet) Holmes put the 582 Yellow Head in his recreational aircraft he named "Drifter", but forgot to .........

..... obtain the necessary approvals and plumb refused to undertake a Weight & Balance calculation.

 

"Stuff it mate" said GCT "As my cousin, Jeronimous Turbine runs the AUF and doubles as a CASA Director (plus CASA & the NTSB are both chaired by my uncle William Washington Turbine) so we don't do any of that conformist garbage."

 

And there, dear reader or NES lurker, in 2 paragraphs is the proud heritage of the AUF and their member's Ned Kelly Turbine-like disdain for authority (and just simply to get away with as much as they can), but it was Scott MorrisMinor Turbine who put a spoke in the AUF wheel by ....... 

[Captain]

As an aside, Turbo bears a striking resemblance to his relative Ned Kelly Turbine, see below.

 

Same slouch, same beard, same cynical sneer, same shifty eyes, same touching himself with his left hand ..... but much less hair.

 

[turboplanner]

....approving the Drifter with the 582 YellowHead. He'd always been suspicious about Holmes Ahlock, who had earned his money for years writing detective stories under the name Sherlock Holmes, and he was a devious as a fruit bat.

Jeronimous Turbine was the product of his father Billy Turbine who started out in the Pacos gunfighting at the age of fifteen, and the daughter of Geronimo, a vicious Apache leader.

So Jeronimous was not exactly a calm and measured person to deal with, and he told Scott MorrisMinor to cancel the regustration. Scott MorrisMinor was everybody's friend and .................

[planedriver]

was reluctant to do so, especially so, as he is looking forward to another re-erection to represent his flock. Regardless of the colour of your head, we are all in this together he claimed with his usual sneery smile, and all should be treated equally.........................Kata Jumillo of the Aboriginal Flyers Group from Alice Springs said "nahwadda motor ya got nodda madder. Mie from a Beezer Bantam . Bidda slow on take -off roll, but suits dreamtime livin.............

[Captain]

16 hours ago, planedriver said:

was reluctant to do so, especially so, as he is looking forward to another re-erection to represent his flock. Regardless of the colour of your head, we are all in this together he claimed with his usual sneery smile, and all should be treated equally.........................Kata Jumillo of the Aboriginal Flyers Group from Alice Springs said "nahwadda motor ya got nodda madder. Mie from a Beezer Bantam . Bidda slow on take -off roll, but suits dreamtime livin.............

Not wishing to be "overbearingly dominant", nor one of the few, and always with the wellbeing of the world's aviation (avref) community in mind and at heart, I will refrain from posting any further, until Planey's wishes are realised and we have say 25 active, reliable & passionate (Mavisref) posters into the NES, as that won't take long for all those to be inspired by Planey's call to arms.

Edited January 1, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....g where everyone was looked after by Bidda Wada who flew the original Thruster, until one day he'd been drinking Quandong juice which was normally used to power the Thruster, and ........................

 

Turbo thanks (and understands why the aviator's code has to be used) Cappy  for generously waiting  for Planeys hordes of frustrated would-be posters to show up and write new and wondrous stories from the glory days when Tomo towed Turbo's ski boat to Antarctica.

 

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo thanks (and understands why the aviator's code has to be used) Cappy  for generously waiting  for Planeys hordes of frustrated would-be posters to show up and write new and wondrous stories from the glory days when Tomo towed Turbo's ski boat to Antarctica.

Cappy thanks Tubb for his support, and that is why I am not posting on the NES after Planey's post ...... that & the fact that I find Planey's post to be so inspirational.

 

Anyway, Cappy needs to spend 3 months at the moment to complete the biennial renewal of his Jedi qualifications, and rated examiners are a bit thin on the ground around Gumly Gumly. (Under Covid rule changes it was a self review last time [including recertification & tag testing of his 2 light sabres], but now it's back to Aussie Jedi Federation normal rules, including another bloody boring Jedi Factors lecture).

 

So Cappy is very thankful that he doesn't need to post on the NES at the moment.

Edited January 1, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Turbo wishes Cappy good luck with the secret mission (Oops, hope that wasn't supposed to be a secret).