The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.and others that don't eat humus with their morning latte.

It was a beautiful summer's morning, just right for bull to go flying, but when he got the the airfield there was a red sticker on the Thruster from CATSA (Civil Aviation Tasmania Safety Authority). it read Do Not Fly [avref], Report to CTSA HQ immediately.

 

Regular NES readers will know that if you are......

[Captain]

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.and others that don't eat humus with their morning latte.

It was a beautiful summer's morning, just right for bull to go flying, but when he got the the airfield there was a red sticker on the Thruster from CATSA (Civil Aviation Tasmania Safety Authority). it read Do Not Fly [avref], Report to CTSA HQ immediately.

 

Regular NES readers will know that if you are......

..... a fair dinkum Wreck Flyer, you, like bull, (the ultimate Wreck Flying Rebel) just smile, mouth the word XXXX, look around furtively and peel the sticker .....

Edited January 13, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.and that’s exactly what bull did.

Out from the bushes stepped a CATSA  man dressed in. black uniform which looked a lot like a 1945 German SS reject......

[Captain]

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.and that’s exactly what bull did.

Out from the bushes stepped a CATSA  man dressed in. black uniform which looked a lot like a 1945 German SS reject......

..... from Turbine Uniforms and Memorabilia P/L, who only use authentic SS uniforms that ReichsSchtormfuher Turbo was able to buy as a job lot before he fled to Argentina in 44 from where he soon fled again (he was too radical for the mob in Argentina) to the Austrian and Dutch (wink, wink, zer are no Chermans here) enclave in Moorabbin, where sauerkraut und pumpernickel und jackboots zint the favourite down at zee lokal hamburger joint, und ......

Edited January 13, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....you could getten en stein of lager for 1 penny at der Bikies Cafe, or ...............

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....you could getten en stein of lager for 1 penny at der Bikies Cafe, or ...............

....from the 12 BMW, Mercedes, Porsche and VW dealers that are in the Moorabbin main drag, cunningly disguised as Berliner Strasse (an old Dutch family name, apparently), not to mention the 4 Lederhosen shops run by Turbine Leather Jocks PLC where, to stop them from chafing, Turbo has .....

Edited January 13, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......released Mink Lederhosen, which has boosted cat skin sales, despite the difficulty of finding Mink coloured cats.

"They don't know the difference" said Turbo in an off the record interview with a fashion journalist, "but it's good for the wearer and good for us" and ..........

[Captain]

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......released Mink Lederhosen, which has boosted cat skin sales, despite the difficulty of finding Mink coloured cats.

"They don't know the difference" said Turbo in an off the record interview with a fashion journalist, "but it's good for the wearer and good for us" and ..........

..... while it's not quite so good for the cats, thank goodness that we started to farm them a few years ago and also formed a commercial alliance with Planey's Cat Emporium NL (PCENL) plus we have a position with OT Quokas PLC and bull's Devils Inc, not to mention the CT Rabbit Undies Corporation, although ...

Edited January 14, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

......the Rabbit Undies give a bit of a jumpy feeling, whenever the wearer sights dogs or foxes - or even large pussycats. It's the Quokka products that are most in demand, however - particularly as they give a warm feeling when worn, and make everyone smile when the wearer appears with the (trademarked OT Quokka) symbol on the........

[turboplanner]

........back and allow you to scratch ..............

[Captain]

41 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........back and allow you to scratch ..............

... your front in that cute quocka pose while leaning back on your non-existent tail.

 

However OT Quockas PLC has had to issue an immediate recall for the quocka jocks, as it turns out that OT was testing a set made from a Quocka buck last week when he auto-rotated (avref) backwards on his non-existent tail and once back on his feet he spotted a particularly beautiful Western Red doe and OT became auto-aroused as he lined the doe up for the experience of her lifetime, and she kicked the living suitcase out of him which broke his ......

 

THAT SCRATCHING POSE

We in the NES have often seen that look in OTs eyes.

Edited January 14, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......Parker pen......

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......Parker pen......

.... which is a very appropriate name, because OT, inspired by his jocks, involuntarily intended to park it in ......

Edited January 14, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

......the Governors Sports bar, far too often for his own good. However, when other patrons of the bar spotted the Quokka trademark symbol, they all clamoured for further information as to where they could acquire the product.

OT had to constantly warn them that there was only one OT-trademarked Quokka product, and there were several shady Eastern-States based operators, who would sell them Cat fur and Rabbit fur products disguised as Quokka fur, and carrying a fake OT Products trademark symbol.

These people were the bane of the industry, and steps were being taken to expose them and name-and-shame them - however, it was difficult work as these dodgy operators were fly-by-nighters, moved operating addresses frequently, operated under aliases such as "Jedi" and "Turbo", thus leading innocent people to think these operators had experience in the named areas, which was wholly untrue, and which deception was purposely designed to.......

[Captain]

9 minutes ago, onetrack said:

These people were the bane of the industry, and steps were being taken to expose them and name-and-shame them - however, it was difficult work as these dodgy operators were fly-by-nighters, moved operating addresses frequently, operated under aliases such as "Jedi" and "Turbo", thus leading innocent people to think these operators had experience in the named areas, which was wholly untrue, and which deception was purposely designed to.......

.... mislead, as neither Turdboy nor Ratty had a Night Operations Endorsement, so as shady as they certainly are, fly-by-nighters they are not, although .....

[turboplanner]

........Turbo had practised using the Biggles books, because those boys never worried about flying at night and over the years became quite proficient at it, which .........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........Turbo had practised using the Biggles books, because those boys never worried about flying at night and over the years became quite proficient at it, which .........

..... is a bit of an anathema to your typical Wreck Flyers, past and present (respectsref).

 

"What is this word "proficient"?" asked one of Planey's new NES contributors "As nobody told me about that when I got turned on to flying Wrecks (reversed AUFref) where I thought the AUF was all about flying low, cracking onto chicks Squadron Commander the Lord Flashheart like (.... see below ... WOOF WOOF) and dodging earth return wires.

 

"It's off to the Human Fuctors coarse for you young fella" said Planey, who expects better than that, "But 1st" added the P.driver "Here is a complimentary pair of PCENL cat emporium undies to wear while bored xxxxless (Planey's swearing is becoming a bit of an issue in the NES, so he might need a bit of a holiday if he complains about himself) during that coarse, in which you will learn xxxx .......

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 14, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........nothing, however, watch that YouTube session to the end and you will know how to get extra take orf power.

 

The CATSA man was standing there, his uniform freshly pressed ready to write the Big Ticket (only to be used in emergency), when he realised he'd been distracted by the dozens of NES infiltrators and he heard the sound, very much like someone tapping a milk bucket with a stick, and the Thruster leapt into the air. bull was free if he could only make the coast before the Tasmanian Air Raid Patrol (TARP) got him with their Army Disposals WWII Bofors, but bull was .......

[Captain]

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...........nothing, however, watch that YouTube session to the end and you will know how to get extra take orf power.

 

The CATSA man was standing there, his uniform freshly pressed ready to write the Big Ticket (only to be used in emergency), when he realised he'd been distracted by the dozens of NES infiltrators and he heard the sound, very much like someone tapping a milk bucket with a stick, and the Thruster leapt into the air. bull was free if he could only make the coast before the Tasmanian Air Raid Patrol (TARP) got him with their Army Disposals WWII Bofors, but bull was .......

....... 50 steps, 4,000 rpm (the Rotax was revving its xxxs off) and 2000 feet ahead of them, with his (bull's) usual steely eyed determination and charismatic outlook on life that has always, to date, meant that he has been .........

 

Explanatory edit about the last 2 words above .... bull is not a "has been" The above is just an unfortunate expression and I don't want our thousands of new contributors to get the wrong impression about our beloved yet punctuationally challenged bull.

Edited January 14, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....looking through ball bearings, but today he was just 1 Naut Mile from the coast when the Bofors opened up, but bull was from bone and as all Queeslanders know, whether they be from Queensland or the South or The Coast where all the lepers live, when a Queenslander is going to do something, he does it!, and so he pushed through, ignoring the hot lead. He started to relax but something made him look back, abd coming towards the Thruster was a Tasmanian Airforce Wirraway. He opened the throttle a fraction and screamed awa from it becaise anyone can beat a Wirraway, but just as..........

[onetrack]

.....he banked in his getaway move, the pilot of the Wirraway fired, and a lucky shot took out of the Thrusters wing struts, and the wing started to flap like a bird. Bull wasn't concerned, though, he'd flown with worse damage than a missing wing strut - and besides, the Wirraway was now disappearing behind him as the Rotax pulled 6000RPM, way past the redline, and the ASI was bouncing off...........

[turboplanner]

........its mountings and the there was nothing on the VSI but the maker's name.

 

For the next twenty minutes he laughed and smiled and told himself he was a flyer in the catergory of Biggles and Douglas Bader, and then he looked down to do his 30 minute "where am I"  nav check. The magenta line petered out because someone had forgotten to charge the Ipad, and all he could see was a flat glassy surface below and no land in sight. There was some land though, Alan Bond Island, named after a prominent boatie hit it in his cruiser in the middle of the night, and it was a territory of the Tasmanian Government, which had stationed ...........

[Captain]

..... a look-out post there, who's job it was to yell "Look out" every time a power boat came in site.

 

This made bull .....

[turboplanner]

.......alert but not alarmed.

A fabric tearing sound near the damaged strut got him to alarmed status in a nano-second [nanoref], and the aircraft began to lose height. Just then the cargo net swung into sight, and he realised he had a bag of screaming females to contend with as well.

The landing went well except for some grassburning to the girls.

A line of black CATSA officers was coming towards them, and bull wished he'd consulted a WAC because Alan Bond Island had a specific warning to ships advising that 36 ships and a cruiser had hit the island.

CATSA was going to win this one thought bull, but what he didn't know, and lucky for Cappy who this time had kept his crude advances to himself, was that all the girls were from a Karate school and had been taught from the age of two.

The CATSA officers reached out with the cuffs; the girls ...........................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

The CATSA officers reached out with the cuffs; the girls .......

......, who were some of Tasmania's finest specimens, each head-butted the CATSA officials ..... twice ..... and then they turned to bull (who was feeling a little exposed) and .....

Edited January 14, 2022 by Captain