The Never Ending Story

[bull]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

......, who were some of Tasmania's finest specimens, each head-butted the CATSA officials ..... twice ..... and then they turned to bull (who was feeling a little exposed) and .....

.said ,,what shall we do with these specimens now ,, oh master Bull??? said the lovelys in unison.....................................          [after having knocked out all the CATSA goons who where now layed out in neat rows[you know woman lol]on the ground facing the cliffs of doom]

Edited January 15, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

........but bull had overlooked the fact that the Princesses all had mobile phones and avidly followed Turbo's escapades on the NES, and they had just seen bull's  sarcastic anti-female comment "you know woman lol".

There was a huddle; "He's laughing at us" said Elizabeth, "He won't laugh for long if I get him in a squirrel grip" said Jasmine who as Turbo can attest, has a grip of steel.

They turned from the CATSA bodies and advanced on bull.........................

[Captain]

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........but bull had overlooked the fact that the Princesses all had mobile phones and avidly followed Turbo's escapades on the NES, and they had just seen bull's  sarcastic anti-female comment "you know woman lol".

There was a huddle; "He's laughing at us" said Elizabeth, "He won't laugh for long if I get him in a squirrel grip" said Jasmine who as Turbo can attest, has a grip of steel.

They turned from the CATSA bodies and advanced on bull.........................

....... who had often fantasized about being squirrel griped by a couple of lovelies, so he turned to face them full frontal and offered them his ......

Edited January 15, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....Can of Brylcream.  While this may seem to be an odd object in the NES, bull has been emotionally moved to read all the different types of fuel RA people use in their aircraft, and all the different types of lubricants, so he went to his barber and said "What type of oil should I be using on my bluehead?"

The barber looked at him for a few moments and said "Id recommend Brylcream; I've been using it for forty years and never had a problem."

bull had bought the can at a bulk price, and kept it for just a time as this when the Rotax might need a little help. He thanks the girls for squeezing it and figured he had the right amount in the tank, after asking a fisherman how much oil he put with the petrol in his Seagull.

 

The girls had been dressed for a show before they got caught up in the net, and realising he was headed for Melbourne, they quickly provided their suspender belts and bull was able to very securely get his strut in place.

 

The Gestapo were starting to come to, and bull quickly got the girls in the net, wheeled around, gave the Thruster a full does of throttle and he was underway. Three seconds later he was nearly jerked out of the seat as the net caught. This time there were three CATSA officers hanging on to the net and bull breathed a sigh of relief. To book him for overloading they would have to book themselves and...............

[bull]

.this just showed the massive resilience of the Australian designed and built old thruster,,,,,,,,, [in another life my first flight was in a T500 gemini back in the late eighties,,lol].,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,as it still managed to climb even with the 3 goons hanging onhttp://031c074.netsolhost.com/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/akron-tragedy-e1294254969175.jpg[avref:A bit like this ]  soon to be two as a blood curdling scream slowly faded out as one fell off,,,now this upset the girls no end and Bull was stumped what to do about the................

Edited January 15, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

......situation. Somehow the CATSA officers had endeared themselves to the Princesses. This was a dangerous trend which could see bull extradited back to Tasmania. Cappy of course was keen to see what they had been doing up on that net to see if he too could attract Princesses like he could in his days in India where the days were spent drinking gin and shooting tiger, and the nights were ...............

[Captain]

..... spent processing a series of Princesses (who were gluttons for Cappy, as usual, and just kept coming back for more).

 

But in this case bull needn't have worried as he was a recognised & fully endorsed flyboy stud and the CATSA officers had bored to Princesses to death by reading them their favourite regulations, which was the CATSA idea of foreplay.

 

So gravel rash aside, bull got to experience the delights of this type of gluttony, and .....

Edited January 15, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....eventually fell asleep. He woke up to find the Thruster was gone, the princesses were gone, and the CATSAs were in a very bade mood. Out came all the books and they wrote novels.  It looked as if Bull would not be out for a very long time.

[Captain]

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....eventually fell asleep. He woke up to find the Thruster was gone, the princesses were gone, and the CATSAs were in a very bade mood. Out came all the books and they wrote novels.  It looked as if Bull would not be out for a very long time. .......

...... And that was when all of his mates in the NES got together to hatch a plan to defend him, up to the highest court in the land, or to the House of Lords (HOL) if needed. (This latter phase would be handled by Lord Turbo personally, if necessary, as he has heaps of mates up there).

 

"I spoke with Nicolla X when we woke up this morning and she has agreed to defend bull" said Turbo with some pride, but obviously exhausted from the evening's shenanigans, where X had certainly marked the spot.

 

"And I have employed Alan Bond's accountant to handle the fund raising" volunteered Onesie.

 

"I can chuck in a few rabbits" said the CT.

 

"I'll handle the complaints to CATSA" said Planey "And I will ask thousands of Wreck Flying members to kick the can, as they always listen to me."

 

But what made bull feel most warm inside, and confident of acquittal then a life back on the farm with his bevvy of Princesses, was when the Skipper stepped up to the plate and offered to .........

Edited January 15, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......admit that he had built the Thruster, and notwitstanding that had built it without any CATSA approval documents, and notwithstanding that told bull he could run the engine on SquirrellGas, a US fuel not found in Australia, which led to bull accidentally using Pimms No5, and notwithstanding that was prepared to admit he had been flying the Thruster for the whole time it was in Tasmania.

 

With this confession and some swearing the CATSA troops prepared an extradition order which the Premier of Tasmania signed with his thumb print.

 

Lord Dan couldn't get rid of him quick enough and 30 minutes later Cappy was on the Princess of Tasmania bound for Devonport.

 

The Trial was held in the Hobart Supreme Court and opening for the Prosecution was Lord Planetary III.

 

"We submit, Your Honour that the defendant Captain James C. Cook (Cappy hated that name) did  build a Thruster without CATSA, run said Thruster on an unapproved fuel, currently in short supply to the general public  and Judiciary (creating an "Us" and "Them" situation), and has admitted flying said Thruster illegally over its terrain, seas and dependencies."

 

The proescutor sat down and thought, as he often had "This shouldn't take too long".

Cappy was defending himself, and appeared to be swaying, possibly under the influence of alcohol.

 

He stood up, swayed and said "What Thruster?"

Lord Planetary, in a deprecating tone said "The Thruster described in your confession and shown in the attached photos in the Court documents.

 

Cappy staggered slightly, started to fall, but grabbed the railing just in time. "That's not a Thruster" said Cappy and pointed to the name on the aircraft in the photos. It was clearly signwritten T500 Gemini in fading lettering.

( bull had repainted all his aircraft one hot night in bone, the stubbies of XXXX had grown and he had painted the wrong names on two of them, and only the hawke-eyed Cappy had even picked it up.

 

The Prosecution was now required to prove the aircraft was a Thruster, but Lord Planetary didn't know one end of an untralight from the other, they all looked the same, so he tried a different tack.

 

"On April 8 last did you fly a T500 Gemini  towing a cargo net north through Tasmania to the Tasmanian dependency of 

Alan Bond Island where the aircraft illegally landed."

 

Cappy swayed, blinked and siad "I've never been to Tasmania in my life".

 

Lord Planetary .........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy swayed, blinked and siad "I've never been to Tasmania in my life".

 

Lord Planetary .........

 

...... swore in right royal terms, which immediately cause Planey to commence to draft a well deserved complaint to his brother, the Tasmanian Chief Justice who was the step sister of the Premier and had had relations with the boss of CATSA when he and she were in Boarding School where the Tazzy Governor and a couple of Tazzy Supreme Court Judges were the Prefects (therefore it was a typical Tasmanian web of personal in-trigue & cest).

 

This gave Ratso a chance to have another swig and as he looked blurrily around the courtroom he was very please to see bull, in the disguise of a ..........

 

 

[turboplanner]

........Newspaper reporter in a $2000.00 suit, smoking cigars, Lambo in the No Parking Zone out the front and his typist and researcher, two females who looked to be under-age, bull was smiling to all his admirers but smart enough to keep his mouth shut to cover yhose blackened teeth....................

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........Newspaper reporter in a $2000.00 suit, smoking cigars, Lambo in the No Parking Zone out the front and his typist and researcher, two females who looked to be under-age, bull was smiling to all his admirers but smart enough to keep his mouth shut to cover ythose blackened teeth....................

..... which those members always have and you therefore know that they are card carrying members of the Tasmanian Beetlenut Chewing Association (the TBCA) where bull's plantation is the major supplier and is also a ......

 

A RARE PHOTO OF BULL BEFORE HE LEFT THE SUNSHINE OF BONE.

HE IS NOW GLOWINGLY WHITE LIKE ALL SUN DEPRIVED TASMANIANS.

Edited January 16, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....processor of Tasmanian Walnuts. But it was the Beetle Nuts that were his biggest seller (not to be confused with Betel Nuts, the fruit of the Areca palm, and the chewing of which is a popular pastime in some far-off countries).

The Tasmanian Beetle Nut was actually processed from Tasmanian Cockchafer Beetles, and the nuts flavour was an immediate hit with nearly every Tasmanian, who had all without fail, managed to accidentally ingest at least half a dozen Cockchafer Beetles in their lifetime - thus giving them a foretaste of bulls Beetle Nut product. The Beetle Nut hadn't made it to the mainland, but that was soon to be......

[turboplanner]

4 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....processor of Tasmanian Walnuts. But it was the Beetle Nuts that were his biggest seller (not to be confused with Betel Nuts, the fruit of the Areca palm, and the chewing of which is a popular pastime in some far-off countries).

The Tasmanian Beetle Nut was actually processed from Tasmanian Cockchafer Beetles, and the nuts flavour was an immediate hit with nearly every Tasmanian, who had all without fail, managed to accidentally ingest at least half a dozen Cockchafer Beetles in their lifetime - thus giving them a foretaste of bulls Beetle Nut product. The Beetle Nut hadn't made it to the mainland, but that was soon to be......

.....fixed by a chain of LatteBeetle stores combining the staple diets of Victorians and the new beetle nut chews from the Apple Isle as many Victorians still refer to Tasmania even though the last apple tree was rooted in 1972. The owners of the Chain, TurbineBeetle, have been interested to read the debate on which fuels RA pilots should be using, and will be building a string of Airport Refuelling Stations selling both Avgas and BeetleJuice a form of Mogas. This provides ......

[onetrack]

......a major power increase over standard Mogas. However, it has recently been found (and of great concern to aviators) that there's a major disadvantage with utilising the Turbine BeetleJuice - as once the aircraft (avref) is fuelled with BeetleJuice, the aircraft develops a tendency to burrow into lawns (avref - "lawndart"), which has led to some of the more concerned aviators refusing to use the new product being widely advertised and promoted by TurbineBeetle Inc. 

"Yes," said the CEO of TurbineBeetle, "We understand there have been some complaints about our new product, but the complaints are not backed with hard evidence ('besides half-buried aircraft wreckage', he added) - and besides, the users have to consider the environmental benefits of using our new BeetleJuice product. No oils were drilled to produce our BeetleJuice fuel, and the exhaust emissions contain no nitrous oxides, and very low levels of other pollutants. In fact, the pollutant levels are so low, it's...........

[CT9000]

......almost half the pollution levels of normal two stroke engines that are over fueled and using the normal 10% oil mix. These findings come from a study comparing a Victa 125 at full throttle using normal two stroke oil mixed at 10:1 and a Rotax 582 at fast idle using our product mixed at 80:1 , so as every one can see this independent un biased exhaustive study proves the environmental benefits of using our products. At only $75 per ltr. this represents very good value because $1 will be donated to our distributers for every carton of fifty ltr sold.....    

[turboplanner]

.......and as much it might seem certain for a Rotax 582 to sieze at this tiny lubricant rate, I've never seen one fail yet, and 200 Rotax 582 owners nodded sagely and thought "If there are no failures I might as well spend the money on this brilliant product which will cost me a fractiion over the long term of what I'm paying now", but ................

[CT9000]

......there was much questioning of the claims till the marketing department held a press conference to clear up any questions regarding the claims. A synopsis went as follows.  "WHY DID YOU USE A VICTA 125"    Because the early Victas were low compression and that was the only one we could get to start on 10:1 " WHY 10:1"    Because in the interests of more accurate reporting we need to address real world situations so after sitting for a year the aromatic hydrocarbons would evaporate out leaving a mixture equivalent to 10:1   "WHY HAVE THE VICTA FLAT OUT AND THE ROTAX AT FAST IDLE"   Because at 10:1 the Victa makes about 4 hp flat out and the Rotax makes that at fast idle.  "WHY RUN THE ROTAX AT 80:1 ON THIS TEST"   Because that is all that is needed at fast idle load.    And so on the snow job sorry press conference went. See a real un biased independent well researched project........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, CT9000 said:

Because that is all that is needed at fast idle load.    And so on the snow job sorry press conference went. See a real un biased independent well researched project........

..... proves that those attending the Press Conference should always "follow the science" (including science's recent discover of another 6 genders).

 

Then bull stole a line from Anthony Fauci and said "and I am the science, mate."

 

With that there was loud applause and bull grabbed the opportunity to add "and we have found a way to invent bio-degradable leaded fuel (bdlf), plus my beetle nuts are now synthetic and so their juice will allow the Rotax 582 to rev past 8 grand while extending the tbo to 2,600 hours using our bdlf, and there will be no sign of smoke or fouled plugs either.

 

This was a revelation, the board of Rotax immediately recommended the takeover offer from Turbine Aero Engines AG, the sale of Thrusters went through the roof and bull's thrusters p/l built a new factory in triabunna (employing prisoners from risdon) with an assembly plant in bone and all was going so very well, until .....

 

 

Edited January 17, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

......the news reached the CATSA operatives, and they promptly issued an edict, banning any BeetleJuice-fuelled Thrusters from operation in Tasmania. CATSA went further, and issued a warning that anyone found with BeetleJuice in their possession would be declared guilty of a major infringement of CATSA regulations and orders, and the applicable penalty was........

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, onetrack said:

......the news reached the CATSA operatives, and they promptly issued an edict, banning any BeetleJuice-fuelled Thrusters from operation in Tasmania. CATSA went further, and issued a warning that anyone found with BeetleJuice in their possession would be declared guilty of a major infringement of CATSA regulations and orders, and the applicable penalty was........

..... just what the AUF members wanted to hear, as if there is anything that AUF members like it is a direct challenge to flout rules (awards for the biggest flouters are presented at Natfly each year during the piss-up down the back (and are recorded on a gold lettered virtual Honour Board on the dark web).

 

So a new CATSA edict was great news and the BJ fueled Thrusters were pulled to the front of the hangars where they were ......

Edited January 17, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......draped in Grid Chicks and photographed for posterity.

Then they all rolled out to the airstrip to reenact Mangalore I and II when all Ultralights which showed up for the Airshow were entitled to take off for the finale, all at once, all at the same time.

 

These were spectacular events with dozens of buzzing aircraft flying towards the spectators at head height, the outer ones collecting the limbs of gum trees and spinning down around startled cows, the dozen or so EFATOS landing in the carpark and denting Fairlanes, others landing in the kids playing area, and others landing in the Warbird car park which sent Marshalls running with their whistles blaring because that sort of behaviour was just not on.

 

The achilles heel in this event was that no one had ever tried TurbineBeetleJuice in their engines to see if they'd run at take off throttle. The video comparisons only ever showed Rotaxes at idle, but in a lively thread 17 people had recommended TurbineBeetleJuice based on their experience as a Baker's Delight baker, McDonalds burger packer, Lighthouse Keeper who was very good a crossword puzzles and three Public Servants from Canberra who wrote policy documents for the Government.

 

The Flag Marshall, by popular demand was Captain James Cook, who staggered onto the strip and tripped. The Dozens of Thruster pilots saw the flag drop and opened their throttles in unison, as one they ...............

[Captain]

17 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The Flag Marshall, by popular demand was Captain James Cook, who staggered onto the strip and tripped. The Dozens of Thruster pilots saw the flag drop and opened their throttles in unison, as one they ........

..... powered along the strip and leapt into the air like all Thrustors do, the blue heads 3,000 rpm above red line, the ASIs immediately well above VNE, the VSIs pawing at the upper reaches near 2,000 fpm (some broke their needles) and the Thrusters, as all Thrusters do, immediately closed ranks to about 2 m wing tip separation (WTS) and into the finest, tightest and most impressive echelon formation ever seen (The EAA want them at Oshkosh next year for their daily display and they have cancelled the twenty USAF 35's as a result), then because of the threat of a CATSA attack the echelon move seamlessly into a Strike Group formation (4 wide and over 100 deep, as it turns out that there are xxxxloads of Thusters in sheds in Tazzy) and the Thruster pilots pulled down their HUDs, tightened their harnesses, armed their ejection seats and pulled their ....... 

Edited January 18, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....pants down in an echelon salute to the CATSA officers down below armed with only their notebooks and iphones. [The Tasmanian Government had banned CATSA officers from carrying firearms because they did enough damage with their note books as it was.]

What the Thruster group hadn't counted on was that the CATSA group would slip a case of Apple Cider to the VicPol SWAT team in return for rounding up the Thrusters with the new VicPol SWAT helicopter, and Afghanistan gunship with the guns left in place to cool off the gangs in Sunshine.

Vicpol used a tactic the Thrusters had no answer for; the SWAT helicopter just followed along behind the echelon popping just one shot from the MG just behind the leading edge of the port wing. The fabric would rip with the sound of a debutant's dress after the trophy awards, and each Thruster would spiral towards the ground. Eventually.....................