The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

....thought it would be better if he got a name tag to identify himself better, rather than just that Field Marshalls uniform. But there was a problem with having a name tag, when your full name was Aloysuis Gonzaga Fernando Francesco Giacinto Gulglielmi Cook. There wasn't enough room for the tag with all those medals.

Then he thought about adding arrow tags to indicate the correct point to aim the sword for the Queen, as her eyesight and strength in holding heavy swords wasn't what it used to be, and besides.......

 

[And Dear NES readers, we managed to find Cappy resplendent in his Field Marshals outfit, as he lined up for more additions to his medal collection. He's the bloke in the middle of the front row, in case you're having trouble identifying him....]

 

 

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, onetrack said:

Then he thought about adding arrow tags to indicate the correct point to aim the sword for the Queen, as her eyesight and strength in holding heavy swords wasn't what it used to be, and besides.......

..... he jingled like crazy when trying to sneak up to Maj's sitting room (which is not used for sitting too much when those 2 are at it) plus his awards set off every metal detector within 20 kms and because they are just gold plated, he needs to recalibrate the compass in every aircraft (avrefthankgoodness) that he flies (avref), but Field Marshals always sit back and have somebody else do the flying (avref) and that takes all the fun out of it, not to mention that FM's also sit back and watch Maj & a surrogate, as FM's also have somebody else to do their .......

Edited January 20, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....washing, but Cappy wasn't aware, and the FMs shown in the above photo were not aware that the medials on their trousers were put there by the butlers and signify the number of times they's P'd their pants (Cpayy has 23), however, HRH was the Palace wit calling herself Brenda behind the scenes, and she had been told. The next time she saw Cappy merrily jingling in, she tried, but she couldn't stop laughing, and just pointed, laughing even harder, Cappy's eyes shot down to his fly to make sure it was zipped up and she burst into peals of laughter, and said .................

[bull]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

....thought it would be better if he got a name tag to identify himself better, rather than just that Field Marshalls uniform. But there was a problem with having a name tag, when your full name was Aloysuis Gonzaga Fernando Francesco Giacinto Gulglielmi Cook. There wasn't enough room for the tag with all those medals.

Then he thought about adding arrow tags to indicate the correct point to aim the sword for the Queen, as her eyesight and strength in holding heavy swords wasn't what it used to be, and besides.......

 

[And Dear NES readers, we managed to find Cappy resplendent in his Field Marshals outfit, as he lined up for more additions to his medal collection. He's the bloke in the middle of the front row, in case you're having trouble identifying him....]

 

 

{this was of course after his full facial makeover in China ]

[bull]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....washing, but Cappy wasn't aware, and the FMs shown in the above photo were not aware that the medials on their trousers were put there by the butlers and signify the number of times they's P'd their pants (Cpayy has 23), however, HRH was the Palace wit calling herself Brenda behind the scenes, and she had been told. The next time she saw Cappy merrily jingling in, she tried, but she couldn't stop laughing, and just pointed, laughing even harder, Cappy's eyes shot down to his fly to make sure it was zipped up and she burst into peals of laughter, and said .................

my god what is that???..Cappy started turning pink again and Turdo had seen the signs an rushed cappy out of ..................

[Captain]

29 minutes ago, bull said:

my god what is that???..Cappy started turning pink again and Turdo had seen the signs an rushed cappy out of ..................

..... Brenda's reach, as Turdo was a modern day 007 and needed to also keep Cappy "In Her Majesty's Service" (wink wink), as well as keeping his boyish good looks as a spit of Daniel Craig, so Turdboy ......

 

THIS UNPOSED PHOTO OF CAPPY A FEW WEEKS

AGO (BEFORE HE WAXED EVERYTHING) SHOWS THE

RESEMBLANCE THAT BRENDA, MAJ AND ANNE CANNOT RESIST.

Edited January 20, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

7 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... Brenda's reach, as Turdo was a modern day 007 and needed to also keep Cappy In Her Majesty's Service, as well as being the spit of Danial Craig, so Turdboy ......

pushed Cappy out on the balcony and waiting there was a harness for two hanging down from a surplus old aussie army blackhawk, piloted by OT ,grinning madly as he looked down for the signal to winch them up. Now the crowd had seen what was occurring and started  to.............................                                                                        ...[a blackhawk hovering over the neigborhood tends to attract people lol]

Edited January 20, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

....moving towards Turbo and Cappy, but these two professionals were too fast, slipping into the harnesses and signalling OT, whose handling of the Blackhawk btw was less than perfect.

Next on the agenda was........

[onetrack]

.....replacing the winch cable, which promptly snapped under the combined weight of the two slightly overweight aviators, when the winch operator tried to lift them. OT's handling of the Blackhawk appeared to be less than perfect, because the sudden and extreme load on the winch, followed by the winch cable going, "BANG!", made the Blackhawk drop and then rise like a dinghy in a heavy swell on Port Phillip Bay when a winter Sou'-Westerly was blowing a gale.

 

But OT regained control of the Blackhawk rapidly, like the true consummate professional he is - but he swore a little under his breath when he saw the frayed cable swaying below the Blackhawk, and he knew this was Mission Abort. So he gently eased the cyclic forward, whilst watching the main rotor RPM, and the 3,244HP of the twin turbines ......

[turboplanner]

.......and flew back to the base to tell everyone the sad news. Cakes and sausages and booze were ordered, and everyone stopped work and told stories about how Turbo and Cappy had had it coming for years, and the escapades made people's blood run cold, like the time they'd been left by themselves to guard the Khyber Pass, standing back to back armed only with 10 shot SMLEs and bayonet. The horde advanced toward them down the Pass - thousands of them in single file. Suddenly the first one slipped, his head hit a rock and knocked him unconscious. The No 2, Bupra Singh stopped. "Advance Sir!" said Sergeant Mahatma Singh, but Bupra Singh said "Oh nononononono; I cannot go first because I was ordered to go second. the Sergeant thought he'd fix that fast enough and ordered the third soldier, Ghandi Singh to take the front. "Oh nononononono, said Ghani, that would put me in front of the good Bupra Singh and I was ordered to be behind. This went on all day up the line until in frustration Sergeant Mahatma Sing ordered to column to about face and they disappeared into the distance, all following orders. 

Out on the ocean Turbo and Cappy were treading water Turbo had made a fishing line out of the winch cable and Cappy was catching rainwater in his hat. Up ahead they noticed a flat spot, and swimming closer realised it was a submerged shipping container. As they stood on the container Cappy said "Why don't you dive down and see if there's any food in the container" Turbo, looking at the circling sharks said "Why don't you" "We'll draw straws then", said Cappy who was still stuck in the old British way.Turbo lost and dived down, finding 5 tonnes of Scottish Haggis and a complete Thruster in parts. He ...................................

[spacesailor]

He threw that 5 ton of Haggis around the container, clearing the area any fish as far as you can see.

Then-------------

[Captain]

4 hours ago, spacesailor said:

He threw that 5 ton of Haggis around the container, clearing the area any fish as far as you can see.

Then-------------

..... applied his Thruster assembly skills on top of the container, while using some of the haggis to paint a set of piano keys and a centreline down the container and molded another haggis into an ILS transmitter + some dual intensity runway lights. (In this case the Jedi's brilliance meant that the ILS would be used as a ITS to match the ITS receiver beside the Garmin Glass Cockpit, autopilot and side-stick in the Thruster that would enable them to transit IFR and above the weather if possible, during their escape).

 

Turdboy was impressed (as usual) with the Rat's achievements and jumped into the Thruster's rear seat as soon as Cappy kicked the rotax over to commence strict compliance with the manufacturer's run-in procedure.

 

"We don't want a cold seize over those sharks" he said to Turdy, and as Cappy ran his W&B calcs on his knee computer, as he does on every single flight where he is PIC, he realised that Turdy's 150 kgs was a little over the .......

 

Welcome to the NES Spacey. Are you here because of Planey's appeal for fresh meat to post in the this topic?

 

TUBB'S PHOTO OF CAPPY DOING THE RUN-UP AT THE CONTROLS OF THE THRUSTER.

Edited January 23, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

7 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... applied his Thruster assembly skills on top of the container, while using some of the haggis to paint a set of piano keys and a centreline down the container and molded another haggis into an ILS transmitter + some dual intensity runway lights.

 

Turdboy was impressed (as usual) with the Rat's achievements and jumped into the Thruster's rear seat as soon as Cappy kicked the rotax over to commence the manufacturer's run-in procedure.

 

"We don't want a cold seize over those sharks" he said to Turdy, and as Cappy ran his W&B calcs on his knee computer, as he does on every single flight, he realised that Turdy's 150 kgs was a little over the .......

 

Welcome to the NES Spacey. Are you here because of Planey's appeal for fresh meat to post in the this topic?

......MTOW (Maximum Take Off Weight, GA operators read the NES).

He yelled over his shoulder, "I'll try to get it on the plane, in the first couple of metres!"

The Thruster sank like a rock a metre out from the container; "Perhaps we should have looked in the containert to see if there was one that had floats." said Turbo.

Cappy gave him as sarcastic look and started pulling on the fishing cable. Up came the Thruster; "I took out Insurance" said Cappy smugly.

The two  started dissassembling the Thruster and washing it with water; two weeks later they were finished and the Thruster firmly lashed to the container top. They's both vowed never to eat haggis again in their lives.  Turbo said "I'll try to start it; I've got a feel for small engines"

Half anhour later with the battery almost flat Cappy took over and it fired up first time. At two thirds throttle the container started making six kn knots and they set sail for Guadalcanal.....................

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Half anhour later with the battery almost flat Cappy took over and it fired up first time. At two thirds throttle the container started making six kn knots and they set sail for Guadalcanal.......

..... which was just 300 NM to the NE.

 

(Dedicated NESers will recall that earlier posts (around about page 200 or so) contained evidence (some say confessions) that Tubb has lunched more outboard powerheads than anyone else in Christendom ....... or worldwide) so while he certainly understands, (from learning the hard way) what is needed to flush salt water out of a 2-stroke, NESers will also recognize the significance & good fortune derived from Cappy stepping in and keeping the engine serviceable for this little cross country in the Thruster at MSL).

 

The trip was going well, Cappy and Turdy were bonding & building on their long term aviation friendship, and to save fuel were occasionally powering the Rotax with methane from eating all that haggis for breaky, lunch & tea, however this was also having a deleterious effect on their ..... 

Edited January 23, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......weight, haggis being what is scraped up off the floor of an abbatoir, which is mostly fat.

Turbine turned to Cappy and said: "What if I fed the cats Haggis; we would get a much higher carcass weight, so more profit, and the methane could be piped off to fuel cars, and Turbine Zero Emission Fuel was born.  They reached .......

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......weight, haggis being what is scraped up off the floor of an abbatoir, which is mostly fat.

Turbine turned to Cappy and said: "What if I fed the cats Haggis; we would get a much higher carcass weight, so more profit, and the methane could be piped off to fuel cars, and Turbine Zero Emission Fuel was born.  They reached .......

...... agreement that Cappy would have the rights to sell the skins and to remanufacture the paws into good-luck Rabbit's Feet (city folk no longer have any clue about what a rabbit's foot looks like, so once the claws are ground down with an angle grinder, Cappy was on a winner at $15 each so $60 per cat rabbit).

 

The Rotax was singing along as all blue-heads do, the container under the Thruster looked like the baggage container on a Cessna Caravan and our intrepid duo were on top of  .......

 

YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW THAT THESE 4 ARE OFF A PERSIAN TABBY NAMED FLUFFY.

SO $60 (AS A CASHY), THANKS VERY MUCH, AND A NICE LITTLE EARNER AFTER ALLOWING FOR $2.50 ANGLE GRINDER DEPRECIATION, WHICH IS TAX DEDUCTABLE IF ANY TAX WERE ACTUALLY EVER TO BE PAID.

 

PS ..... The cats weren't real keen on having the angle grinder job done pre-mortem, so from here on it will be done afterwards.

Edited January 23, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....it though, turbo having worked out that they had the capacity to lift the container 11%, thus reducing the drag enough to get a 17% longer range, enough to dock at the Guadalcanal Wharf which was a bit quieter these days than when Turbo's Uncle Chuck Turbine, from Alabama,  a personal friend of Chester Nimitz was doing his bit for the old stars and stripes in WWII. Chuck ........

[Captain]

13 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Chuck ......

.... , during his esteemed service, also came in contact with Cappy's real father, on his mother's side (she apparently didn't spend all that much time on her "side" as it turned out), Big Dougy MacArthur, known in the family as "Jodpurs" or "LongArms" (please see the below personally signed photo that Big Doug sent to Cappy as a momento), which is what Doug and Chuck thought was ......

 

Edited January 23, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.... a possible admission he was their father, but even in 1932 Doug was going places, having his photo taking at the Universal Studios "Ocean Lot" where he waded in the water (pumped in from La Bre Tar Pits) which was made to look like the beaches of foreign countries. Doub was always walking ashore knee deep,  because the oily water stained the trousers, and he had zip fittings to change the lower legs. It was on one of these photo shoots that ..................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.... a possible admission he was their father, but even in 1932 Doug was going places, having his photo taking at the Universal Studios "Ocean Lot" where he waded in the water (pumped in from La Bre Tar Pits) which was made to look like the beaches of foreign countries. Doub was always walking ashore knee deep,  because the oily water stained the trousers, and he had zip fittings to change the lower legs. It was on one of these photo shoots that ..................

..... Doug said "I came thru and I shall return".

 

"Return to where Dougy?" asked the cameraman, who thought Doug was a bit suss.

 

"I'm just practicing for what I am going to say at Terowie railway station in South Australia in 10 year's time." answered Doug.

 

"Why in SA" asked the camera guy "Why not in Western Australia?.

 

"Western what?" replied Doug, and with that .........

Edited January 23, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....smugly walked off sucking on his flaming pipe full of Deep South Mama's tobacco.

And that good readers was all the General charged with protecting Australia knew about WA, soon to be called McGowanLand.

Nobushi had been visiting while Turbo was writing that, and Turbo asked "Nob, why did you just bomb Darwin; why didn't you bomb Melbourne or Perth which were easier targets?

Nob shook his head as if Turbo was dumb. "Because" he said ebry body know they DOWNUNDER; so if we drop bomb it fall off earth and go intp space; not do a scrape of damage to cities. It good for us because if we ran out of fuel we could gride home, and we nebber have a forced randing, so that good point, but ........useless to bomb.

 

Turbo didn't say anything because, you never know, they might get ambitious again, so .........................

[bull]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....smugly walked off sucking on his flaming pipe full of Deep South Mama's tobacco.

And that good readers was all the General charged with protecting Australia knew about WA, soon to be called McGowanLand.

Nobushi had been visiting while Turbo was writing that, and Turbo asked "Nob, why did you just bomb Darwin; why didn't you bomb Melbourne or Perth which were easier targets?

Nob shook his head as if Turbo was dumb. "Because" he said ebry body know they DOWNUNDER; so if we drop bomb it fall off earth and go intp space; not do a scrape of damage to citiesBased on the radar contact on 6 March, the phase of the Moon and assumptions of the Japanese force's speed and likely flying-off positions if it included any aircraft carriers, the Allied militaries judged that any attack on the Perth–Fremantle area was most likely to occur during the early hours of 11 March. It was also possible that such an attack could be conducted any time between the night of 9/10 March and the morning of 14 March.^[18] but he was telling a little fib there as they did intend to attack Fremantle and by location Perth but a cyclone put a dent in that ...{. It good for us because if we ran out of fuel we could gride home, and we nebber have a forced randing, so that good point, but ........useless to bomb.

 

Turbo didn't say anything because, you never know, they might get ambitious again, so .........................changed the topic to cyclones and the effect apon Old Nobu and co..That rac##$t screamed "MEWANNABE from the social justice warrior front for the slightly insane [i think tubs has been there a couple of times] Now MEWANNABE is a new character to the NES, noone really knows what gender or race or whatever MEWANNABE is /or identifies as /etc etc so i,ll leave it up to the fine detective skills of Turbine Private Investigations leading investigator............

 

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Nob shook his head as if Turbo was dumb. "Because" he said ebry body know they DOWNUNDER; so if we drop bomb it fall off earth

..... as ploven by MH370 (poortasteavref).

 

Me and the Emerlor berieve that Western Austlalia is an integlal part of an area simirar to the Bermuda Tliangle ...... as HMAS Sydrey, poor Flanky Pelsaert on the Batavia and numerlous other vessels have all disappeared in that god forsaken legion. Perhaps it should be called the McGowan Obrong.

 

Why, even Onetlack hasn't posted in the NES for a while and may have been sucked off.

 

Me and the grorious Japanese People, who are now honourable arries of Austlalia, think that this entire area is a sand ridden, Covid flee but rocked off, poriticarry backward vortex to the underworld, somewhat simirar to Sudan or Bangradesh.

Edited January 23, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

8 hours ago, bull said:

Turbo didn't say anything because, you never know, they might get ambitious again, so .........................changed the topic to cyclones and the effect apon Old Nobu and co..That rac##$t screamed "MEWANNABE from the social justice warrior front for the slightly insane [i think tubs has been there a couple of times] Now MEWANNABE is a new character to the NES, noone really knows what gender or race or whatever MEWANNABE is /or identifies as /etc etc so i,ll leave it up to the fine detective skills of Turbine Private Investigations leading investigator.........

...... and the Skipper, too, is also leaving this up to TPI's lead investigator .....

[turboplanner]

...who will be slightly delayed as he has been asked to register and secure the area of the McGowan Obrong, and NES readers that how its now registered. Anyone now going out there to look for anything has to secure a franchise from Turbine Exploration Co.

 

Investigator Makunouchi is a small man with a big heart. He and Turbo worked together, along with a Greek girl, Alexis who was in Finance.

One day, Kiwi (he didn't think any of us would be able to pronounce Kaida, little dragon) had asked Alexis to do a financial analysis and she had it back to him in an hour, neat, accurate and in half the time of some of the others, so he went out and bought her a sheaf of flowers in thanks.

 

Turbo walked into the department a short time later to find the girls tittering and Alexis very proud. "Why don't you come down in about 15 minutes and thank him" he said to Alexis.

 

"He's too shy" said Alexis, "he won't talk"

"I know" said Turbo, that's why I need 15 minutes to talk him into it"

 

Turbo rushed back and with a shocked face said to Kiwi "What have you done; what have you DONE!"  Kiwi looked back in alarm thinking he'd just lost his promotion because of a mistake - he'd already sent the analysis to Japan where no one made mistakes.

 

"The flowers" Turbo said in shock "When you send a Greek girl flowers, that means you want to marry her, and Alexis San is probably going to come up here and say "Yes".

 

Then Turbo went quietly back to work dreaming about a future in marketing and .........