The Never Ending Story

[bull]

toxic substance alert that went out soon after.  Now this caused extreme .......

[turboplanner]

....concern in the Wagga Wagga district because the people on the land prided themselves on non-toxic, organic farming to the extent that there was a disinfectant trough at every gateway, so not only would visitors have to get out of the car and wash their feet in disinfectant, but escaping cattle had to walk through it to get out, and self dissed before cross-breedin with the neighbouring stock. One property owner boasted of having a disinfectant trough in his bedroom dorway (although his wife clarified that he walked around all day in bare feet, and after cleaning the pig pins it was less than romantic in the bedroom), so the property owners got together (after disinfecting) and ...........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

and after cleaning the pig pins it was less than romantic in the bedroom), so the property owners got together (after disinfecting) and ...........

...... tried to work out what was so hard about cleaning pig pins.

 

"Geeez" said bull "that bloke must have dropped a lot of them, as down here in Tazzy we would have just .......

 

JUST HOW HARD WOULD IT BE TO CLEAN A FEW OF THESE?

Edited March 21, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

....given them a quick rub and pinned them back on again!" Meantimes, Turbo has apologised for the pronunciation slip up - "pins" instead of "pens", as he recently spent some time in Noo Zulland, und the uccent you divelup, after sux weeks there, is hard ta shake, bro, und thus mins........

[turboplanner]

........trels like Turbo always have trouble when they travel, and have to allow a few weeks to settle down when they return. The first night he was there in a pub in Whakatane there was the unfortunate reaction to the barmaid which we won't mention, then someone, recognising Turbo yelled "Sung a song!" and Turbo had to go outside, sing it, and come back in, much to the concern of the locals who ..............

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........trels like Turbo always have trouble when they travel, and have to allow a few weeks to settle down when they return. The first night he was there in a pub in Whakatane there was the unfortunate reaction to the barmaid which we won't mention, then someone, recognising Turbo yelled "Sung a song!" and Turbo had to go outside, sing it, and come back in, much to the concern of the locals who ..............

..... spoke amongst themselves about whether they like listening to Kate Ceberano.

 

"They huv mustaken me for a wee while for Kate C" sud Turbo.

 

"I rucken thut Turdo und Kate are the sput of each other" said the bloke in jandals, who hud flown un for the concert from hus baatch down ......

 

US UT ANY WONDER THAT THEY THOUGHT TURDO WUS KATE? THEY ARE THE SPUT.

Photo compliments of Turbine Music Promotions (R) (Below us a recunt photo of Turdo

after he hud his teeth done)

Edited March 22, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........et Mulford Sound.

Reluctantly Turbo had to leave New Zealand before they asked him to shear a sheep, and because he was committed to fly an Aerolite from New Zealand to Australia via a series of ship decks.

About midway across the BlueHead started to turn red..............................

[onetrack]

....which made Turbo turn very pale, and which also caused him to break out in a cold sweat - as if he was wasn't already cold enough. As the Bluehead got redder and redder, Turbo's choices seemed to be....

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....which made Turbo turn very pale, and which also caused him to break out in a cold sweat - as if he was wasn't already cold enough. As the Bluehead got redder and redder, Turbo's choices seemed to be....

..... limited as he was disinclined to emulate the China Airlines 737, because he .....

[bull]

had a terminal velocity of 80kts straight down ,cause the drag was so bad,,,,,,, and it would not have the same result soooo, he decided to ..............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

...... ,cause the drag was so bad,,,,,,, and it would not have the same result soooo, he decided to ..............

..... also dress in drag, and the resultant landing was softer than Cappy setting down on his well manicured lawn in his Robbo.

 

Turbo in drag was just what the BOB wanted to see and he was the center of .......

 

NOW I'M NOT SAYING THAT THIS IS TURBO THAT NIGHT AT THE BOB, AS HE CARRIES A COMPLETE WARDROBE CHANGE IN THE AEROLITE, BUT HE DOES HAVE AN UNCANNY ABILITY WITH MAKEUP TO PORTRAY AN OLDER KATE (AND A SLIMMER TURDO). NOTE THE GOLD HEADDRESS TURNED INTO A FAN .......... ALTHOUGH I'M NOT A FAN.

Edited March 23, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

....attention at the American Drag Queens Awards Night (it must have been an American night, to call Turbo the "center"), and Turbo took out top prize on the night, which was a trip in a colorful ex-U.S. school bus, which had a schedule (pronounced "sked-yool") that involved multiple ......

[Captain]

...... shows, where Turbo was the Jabba-The-Hutt type character, Loxie was Priscilla and bull payed the part of a ......

 

ONE OF THE SCENES FROM THEIR TRAVELLING SHOW, HERE IN THE BACK BAR AT THE COOLAMON HOTEL, WHERE LOXIE DUMPED HIS PRESCILLA COSTUME TO BECOME PRINCESS LEAH FOR A FEW MINUTES, WHILE TURBO LOOKS PARTICULARLY INSCRUTABLE, AS USUAL.

Edited March 23, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.............Spaceship Commander from Devonport, who ................

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.............Spaceship Commander from Devonport, who ................

...... has, through no real fault of his own, been forced to be Hand Solo for decades, but now he ......

 

THE VARIOUS FACES OF bULL

Edited March 23, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......is making so much money that he doesn’t care and has even forgotten how to fly and is in danger of being replaced by 16 to Tomo who now flies a Comanche within an inch of it’s life whic ......

[onetrack]

.....being the American Catholic Radio Station of Rochester, NY - also referred to, as Station of the Cross - which Tomo listens to regularly, because as a devout Catholic and a terrible pilot, he believes in crossing himself every time he does another manoeuvre in the Comanche. 

He crosses himself regularly, because he has no idea what will happen next, and he's happy to leave the end result to God, who in his......

 

 

(Tomo's dashboard Jesus that he keeps on top of the instrument panel of the Comanche to ward off crashes....)

 

Edited March 24, 2022 by onetrack

[Captain]

6 hours ago, onetrack said:

He crosses himself regularly, because he has no idea what will happen next, and he's happy to leave the end result to God, who in his......

......... infinite wisdom (turboref) and mercy had always .....

[turboplanner]

............brought the Commanche home as usual with video showing Tomo looking at the instruments and trying to work out what they were telling him. God would look down and ask Tomo if he needed help, but Tomo as usual had his attention outside the window filming the trip on his 26 cameras, but God noticed the Jesus statue nodding furiously on the instrument panel, and added fuel/recovered from a spin/moved a mountain out of the way or whatever sh!t was needed this time, but He thought .............

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

............brought the Commanche home as usual with video showing Tomo looking at the instruments and trying to work out what they were telling him. God would look down and ask Tomo if he needed help, but Tomo as usual had his attention outside the window filming the trip on his 26 cameras, but God noticed the Jesus statue nodding furiously on the instrument panel, and added fuel/recovered from a spin/moved a mountain out of the way or whatever sh!t was needed this time, but He thought .............

...... "Verily I say unto you that you should ......

[onetrack]

.....undertake further training with a good flight school - and I will give you the signs that will direct you to the Turbine Flight School of Advanced Training. No sooner had God spoken to Tomo, than he spotted a hole in the clouds - and through that hole he could see a hangar with TURBINE FLIGHT SCHOOL in big letters on the roof.

 

Taking this as a sign from God that he should land, Tomo managed to put the Comanche down - first on one wheel, then the other wheel, then back to the first wheel - until all the wheels were safely on the tarmac, and Tomo could exhale.

 

As soon as he taxied up to the hangar, Turbo was bounding out of the office, yelling to him, "turn.............

 

Edited March 25, 2022 by onetrack

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

As soon as he taxied up to the hangar, Turbo was bounding out of the office, yelling to him, "turn......

.... ips give you wind (avref) which is not good in an enclosed cockpit (avref)" and other phrases of wisdom that have come from Turbo's almost a century of active flying (avref).

 

Tomo was in awe and said "I want to be just like you Turdboy".

 

To which one of the other pilots (avref) who was lollygagging around outside the office (as they always do) said "Given your flying history thru the Snowy and down towards Antarctica (well, Tasmania anyway), and your record setting accident record, you already are like Tubb, as he is also a deadset ....... 

Edited March 25, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........but before he could blaspheme, God, who was ken to catch a glimpse of Turbo becaise he needed more wisdom now that Australia was full of refugees, smote him on the ...............

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..... God, who was Ken ............................... smote him on the ......

........... end of his wotnot, due to the fact that God's name has become known after being hidden for a couple of thousand years.

 

"I thought that his name would have been Alan" said Turbo for no particular reason, but messed himself (Turboref) when the lightning bolt hit the ground just metres away from his ......

 

IMAGE CAPTURED BY THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE AS KEN CHUCKED THE LIGHTNING AT TURDBOY, WHICH WAS A VERY RELEVANT NAME AFTER THE LIGHTNING STRUCK.

Edited March 25, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....left toe, Turbo having steeped smartly sideways after learning the hard way in previous punishments.

 

And God verily said "FFS!" [Isaac reference] Turbo, I'm not XXXXXX Ken; be more careful when you XXXXXX type and tell that XXXX Cappy that I've got his ancestor up here trying to make a boat and asking for a compass and I'm more than happy to send him into the wilderness for 40 days and nights if Cappy will look after him. Cappy was stunned at this message from God and suddenly became pious, dressed in a sacking robe and started going to church and .....................