The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

3 hours ago, Captain said:

Cappy apologises to the thousands of NESers who have contacted him in light of his atrocious & xxxxhouse spelling, which has been korected abov.

Not a bad effort per se.

[turboplanner]

.......were right at home doing the hard work for Turbine Entertainment which involved travelling through the hospitals and aged care centres putting on  a stage show for the poor. Of course they were all over 50, so that helped.

 

There was a knock on his office door, and Leo came in and said "I'd like to learn how to fly one of these Aerolites [avref]. Turbo thought about it for a minute, because the alternative "No" could have seen him eaten. It would mean flyting over the MTOW of course, but that beat being scratched to threads, so he said "Of Course, Leo, but you do realise you need a medical?"

Leo handed him his recent Vet Certificate which stated he was healthier than the Prime Minister, so what couldTurbo do but ..............

 

[Many new NES readers have been asking Turbo about the term [avref]. About a decade ago one of WF's well known trouble makers became jealous of the success of the NES, and thought it should be limited to greetings, what fly ins are coming up, who used a 6 mm aileron shaft instead of a 3 mm one, how evertone should be able to fly an A 380 without a licence under the Freedoms Act etc, and finished his diatribe by saying "there's was nothing in the NES about aviation". Of course the NES had quickly drifted away from Ford Prefects to aeroplanes, the history of Biggles, how to build a $10 aircraft using an Encabulator etc, so every now and again we have to point out some of those aviation references to him to keep him happy.]

Edited April 2, 2022 by turboplanner

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Not a bad effort per se.

To this, being a very masculine ex-bone boy, bull commented "i never liked carrying a purse, eh?"

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......were right at home doing the hard work for Turbine Entertainment which involved travelling through the hospitals and aged care centres putting on  a stage show for the poor. Of course they were all over 50, so that helped.

 

There was a knock on his office door, and Leo came in and said "I'd like to learn how to fly one of these Aerolites [avref]. Turbo thought about it for a minute, because the alternative "No" could have seen him eaten. It would mean flyting over the MTOW of course, but that beat being scratched to threads, so he said "Of Course, Leo, but you do realise you need a medical?"

Leo handed him his recent Vet Certificate which stated he was healthier than the Prime Minister, so what couldTurbo do but ........

..... agree to take Leo on a TIF (avref) in his Aerolite (avref), and as the CFI (avref) (where the C stands for xxxx (planey&turboref) and not "Chief") Turdy (wellknownavref) preflighted (avref) the aircraft (cantdomuchifyouhaventgotoneavref) checked (essentialavref) the W&B (occasionallyconsideredavref) and said "It's the cage that buggers up the balance (avref) so we'll just have to circumvent (mostusedavref) the rules (ignoredavref) to ensure that ......."

Edited April 2, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

To this, being a very masculine ex-bone boy, bull commented "i never liked carrying a purse, eh?"

Yeah the bloody things always spew the contents all over the place when you open them. Now these new fangled..............

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, bull said:

Yeah the bloody things always spew the contents all over the place when you open them. Now these new fangled..............

.... tasmanian platypus skinned bum bags suit my needs much better, because .....

[turboplanner]

.......Tasnmanians even use them to cart their young around, so I should be able to carry my four Ipads in the Aeroflite, which has ............

[Captain]

42 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......Tasnmanians even use them to cart their young around, so I should be able to carry my four Ipads in the Aeroflite, which has ............

..... a G5 Garmin full glass cockpit, with side-sticks, that interfaces with bull's multiple Ipads via a 1970's apple 69 green screen to a Gameboy which converts the signals into telex tape that is then used to .......... 

 

 

 

 

LATEST TASSY TECHNOLOGY

AS LICENCED FROM TURBINE COMMUNICATIONS

Edited April 3, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....provide navigation instructions to the nearest aerodrome. Unfortunately, bull was still learning how to read ticker-tape encoding - which of course, entails abbreviations that makes bulls thread additions look positively effusive.

What made it worse, the ticker tape abbreviated already abbreviated aviation terms, which was like reading Scrabble results with half the tiles missing. Nonetheless, bull gritted his teeth and continued with the ticker tape lessons, and finally he........

[turboplanner]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

..... a G5 Garmin full glass cockpit, with side-sticks, that interfaces with bull's multiple Ipads via a 1970's apple 69 green screen to a Gameboy which converts the signals into telex tape that is then used to .......... 

 

 

 

 

LATEST TASSY TECHNOLOGY

AS LICENCED FROM TURBINE COMMUNICATIONS

....communicate with the NAIPS system CASA uses for weather forecasts, where it is rumoured that CASA in turn gets its BOM forecasts using special indigenous smoke from the First Nations who, as we know live in ........... Canada.

 

The bum bag pushed the Aeroflite over MTOW, so bull turned on CASA posing as a victim of CASA who force people to fly overweight and .........................

 

[NOTE: Although Cappy gaslighted bull about his Tasmanian computer, at least there's now one Manufacturing Industry operating in Australia today. Turbine No1 is made from school desk components of the Headmaster of Crotty Public School. Crotty was submerged in a Hydro Lake, but Turbine Recovery divers took the risk and extracted it from the schoolhouse which has a handy number of Yellowbelly trapped inside. The Brand was carved by QWERTY, an extinct aborigine from Launceston who got it wrong, but out of respect for his elders past and present it has been left in place as a reminder that you're never too old to start school.]

 

 

[turboplanner]

[.....for continuity, please read OT's post as it is vital information for anyone getting a Naips report before flying.]

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

Unfortunately, bull was still learning how to read ticker-tape encoding

 PS & AS AN ASIDE - Which is still 3046% easier that deciphering a NOTAM.

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The bum bag pushed the Aeroflite over MTOW, so bull turned on CASA posing as a victim of CASA who force people to fly overweight and .....

..... it always works to play the victim.

 

"No, I'm the victim" yelled Planey.

 

"No, I'm Spartacus" called that CT from DG.

 

But then the TurgidPlonker blew everyone out of the water (amphibianavref) when he yelled ".....

[onetrack]

.......the Victim plane leaves at 08:00HRS sharp, from Gate number 43!! Anyone who is not on it, will be regarded as..............."

[Captain]

20 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.......the Victim plane leaves at 08:00HRS sharp, from Gate number 43!! Anyone who is not on it, will be regarded as..............."

.... an oppressor, particularly if he or she is white, and that would mean that ...... 

[turboplanner]

he/she would not quailfy for a ticket.

"But that's racist" said Cappy who'd opened up a can of worms.

"No" replied Turbo "They are either Late or Non-Late; no one is born with lateness"

"So you don't pick up anyone who is not in the aircraft when it leaves?" queried an incredulous Cappy.

"Well as long as they can get on by ....................................."

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

he/she would not quailfy for a ticket.

"But that's racist" said Cappy who'd opened up a can of worms.

"No" replied Turbo "They are either Late or Non-Late; no one is born with lateness"

"So you don't pick up anyone who is not in the aircraft when it leaves?" queried an incredulous Cappy.

"Well as long as they can get on by ....................................."

.... 9 am, everything is OK."

 

"What if they are white lions" he then asked "As those are double oppressed", and with that a 2nd can of worms was opened, which .....

 

 

Edited April 3, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....introduced brown ...................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....introduced brown ...................

..... scats into bull's lunchbox, and that really ....

 

 

bULL IS WAITING FOR LAB RESULTS OF WHETHER THEY ARE ELEPHANT SCATS

SOME OF WHICH BOUNCE APPARENTLY

 

OR WORM SCATS, WHICH DO NOT BOUNCE, & JUST SIT THERE LIKE THE WORMS

Edited April 3, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

13 hours ago, Captain said:

..... scats into bull's lunchbox, and that really ....

AS AN ASIDE - I am informed that the above message has caused mass confusion in the Turbine household, as Turbo is a legend of the Melbournistan Jazz Scene and when he scats he can really scat. (Have you heard of Duke Turbington & Turbo Armstrong?) Well they are one and the same + Turbo is also one of the leading WarLords of Melbournistan + he doubles as one of the biggest Cartel Bosses in Mextoria now that the border is open again into NSW ..... & all to the tune of When The Saints Go Marching In. 

 

TURBO IN HIS PRIME

NOTE THOSE ADORABLE EYES, & THAT IS WHAT THEY DID DURING EACH OF HIS EFATO'S TOO

 

Edited April 4, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

....put bull off his lunch, which he threw overboard as soon as he realised what was in his lunchbox. But while bull was going hungry, Turbo and Cappy were feasting in style again, as a result of their shorting the Russian Rouble. They cleaned up every time another sanction on Russia was applied.

 

Over another glass of Mumm Cordon Rouge, Turbo said to Cappy, "You know, I'm thinking about making a takeover bid for some of the Ukrainian aircraft manufacturers, now that they're under pressure, and half their staff are off repelling those nasty Rooskies. What do you reckon about an Antonov takeover, and we can........

[turboplanner]

.....................build Myrias. Then if we go into a joint venture with Abdul's Aircraft Interiors in Dubai, we could build aircraft for the richer RAA members with shopping malls and swimming pools inside and fake surf beaches to make every trip seem like just a few minutes, and .......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....................build Myrias. Then if we go into a joint venture with Abdul's Aircraft Interiors in Dubai, we could build aircraft for the richer RAA members with shopping malls and swimming pools inside and fake surf beaches to make every trip seem like just a few minutes, and .......

..... be able to buy a Duty Free imitation Rolex from your own mall instead of from the Qantas trolley.

 

Being a Qantas Trolley Dolly was, on reflection, the lowlight of Turbo's aviation career, but there was a slight bright-side, as it was on QF304 that fateful day when Turbs met .....

[Captain]

9 hours ago, Captain said:

TURBO IN HIS PRIME

NOTE THOSE ADORABLE EYES, & THAT IS WHAT THEY DID DURING EACH OF HIS EFATO'S TOO

 

AS A FURTHER ASIDE - Turbo's musical career then went from strength to hernia when, after going through a Micky Jackson-like skin whitening, he spent quite a few years building up his jewish persona and discography under the Bob Dylan monicka (Oy vey, or אױ װײ, as he so often said when he broke a guitar string), but once he got sick of singing Blowing in the Wind (avref), Turbo has spent his latter years playing Keith Richards, keeping busy running Turbine Industries and being a luminary (whiteyref) in the Aussie aviation (avref) scene. (not bad for a Jewish African American trumpet jockey, eh?)

 

A RECENT PICTURE OF TURBO IN LAST YEAR'S ARCHIBALD

Edited April 4, 2022 by Captain

[CT9000]

On 03/04/2022 at 10:15 AM, Captain said:

..... a G5 Garmin full glass cockpit, with side-sticks, that interfaces with bull's multiple Ipads via a 1970's apple 69 green screen to a Gameboy which converts the signals into telex tape that is then used to .......... 

 

 

 

 

LATEST TASSY TECHNOLOGY

AS LICENCED FROM TURBINE COMMUNICATIONS

.......news break alert, a close investigation has discovered that the punch tape is not really navigation decode it appears to be an IBL {initial Binary Loader} from a Honeywell 516 series computer. This may go some way to explain the problems of getting lost and also flying into TCU's. See you can't blame CASA or the BOM they didn't know there was a fault in the supply line.....