The Never Ending Story

[bull]

and these flight paths from the cold war where somehow sent out in the digital sport pilot mag and was causeing all sorts of grief at those in power at RAA as errant members where somehow ending up as new drones for Ukraine albeit piloted versions with low penetrating power.   Penetrating power! said OT ,why i heard that turdo has the ................

[turboplanner]

.......ultimate in drones; a sportair with Google Nest.

You can be watching TV and just say "Hey Google, go fuel up the Sportair, send it to Syria, pick up a cluster from Ahmed, shoot over to Ukraine, shoot up half a dozen tanks and bring me back a pizza, and while you're at it ...............

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......ultimate in drones; a sportair with Google Nest.

You can be watching TV and just say "Hey Google, go fuel up the Sportair, send it to Syria, pick up a cluster from Ahmed, shoot over to Ukraine, shoot up half a dozen tanks and bring me back a pizza, and while you're at it ...............

....... when the Google lady, who can be a bit of a pratt at times, responded "I'm sorry, I didn't get that, can you say that again please.", by which time Onesie had forgotten what had been the command and he just slumped back onto his couch, kicked the dog and thought ........

 

[Captain]

PS - A rare photo, taken by an RSPCA inspector and then drawn as court evidence, of Onesie & his 1985 mobile phone (but the latest device in WA terms), giving Alfie a boot up the empennage. (I always thought OT was older than that). Also please note poor Alfie's broken tail from a previous kicking, as the Unitrack can be a cruel bugger at times.

 

Edited April 6, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........you just can't trust women to do important jobs, whereupon Nest came back with "I heard that" and " how do you think you're going to get your Pizza tonight?" and OT realised you can never win or ..................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........you just can't trust women to do important jobs, whereupon Nest came back with "I heard that" and " how do you think you're going to get your Pizza tonight?" and OT realised you can never win or ..................

... dinarily, but Onesie refused to just be "ordinary" like the rest of the NES'ers, as OT was "special" like his mum used to tell him.

 

Cappy's mum was the same and always told him how "special" he was, but then when he ended up in a "Special School" he soon realised that he had a long way to go to claw his way up to the Turbine Flying School (called an "Academy" in order to charge higher fees) where CFI Turbo appreciated Cappy's "specialness" and ........

[turboplanner]

.....gave him special privileges.......

[onetrack]

.....in letting him drive the big broom, telling him it took "special" people to drive brooms - and that if he was very good with the big broom, one day he would even let him sit in the seat of a Drifter, and he could then make "brrrooom", "broooom" noises and pull on all the levers and handles he liked - except that what Cappy didn't know, was that Turbo had disabled any possibility of an engine start, just in case......

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....in letting him drive the big broom, telling him it took "special" people to drive brooms - and that if he was very good with the big broom, one day he would even let him sit in the seat of a Drifter, and he could then make "brrrooom", "broooom" noises and pull on all the levers and handles he liked - except that what Cappy didn't know, was that Turbo had disabled any possibility of an engine start, just in case......

.... Cappy's brrrrmmm brrrrmmm brrrrrrmmmmmmm spittle runs down the inside of the windscreen and shorts out the NASA grade ignition flip switches (it is not fully appreciated that the Mars Rover was based on the Turbine Aviation Academy's (TAA's) Drifter, because ........

 

CAN YOU SEE THE SEMBLANCE?

DRIFTER JOCKEYS BAR UP WHEN THEY SEE THE BELOW PHOTO

AND RECOGNISE THEIR AIRCRAFT.

 

THE TURBINE AVIATION ACADEMY BOUGHT UP ALL OF THE OLD TAA ARTWORK

AND A FEW OF THE OLD HOSTIES TOO.

THE LASS IN THE POSTER IS NOW 92 & IS STILL HOT.

 

TURBO (NOTE HIS CROOK RUG) & TURBINIA MODELLING THE UNIFORMS,

WITH SOME SHORTARSE BLOKE IN E-PAUL-ETTES THAT PHOTO-BOMBED THEM

Edited April 7, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

PS - This photo of a Drifter has stirred great interest and in response to the hundreds who have called (best regards to you all from your Cappy), those 3 gauges in the control panel failed 15 years ago, and as they were only an ASI, VSI and Altimeter, like most rag-&-tube'ers, we didn't worry about it, as true pilots fly be the feel and the vibe .......... and not by these new fangled round instruments (Turbo and bull both still pack a sextant & a plumb-bob instead of a GPS).

Edited April 7, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

On 07/04/2022 at 11:54 AM, Captain said:

.... Cappy's brrrrmmm brrrrmmm brrrrrrmmmmmmm spittle runs down the inside of the windscreen and shorts out the NASA grade ignition flip switches (it is not fully appreciated that the Mars Rover was based on the Turbine Aviation Academy's (TAA's) Drifter, because ........

AND SO, DEAR READERS, THE NES GRINDS TO A HALT WHILE THE DRIFTER JOCKEYS AND EVERY OTHER RAG & TUBER TAKE OFFENCE AT THE RECENT POSTS, AND AS THEY GET OUT THEIR QUILLS AND INKWELLS THEY START TO APPRECIATE THE DIFFICULTY IN COMMUNICATING IN THE COMPUTER AGE. TURBO, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAS GOT USED TO GIVING IT A TICKLE WITH THE FEATHERED END OF HIS QUILL AND HAS DECIDED THAT HE LIKES IT (TURDY HAS CONSIDERED USING AN ENTIRE CHOOK TO GIVE IT A FURTHER TICKLE, INSTEAD OF JUST THE QUILL FEATHER, BUT bULL TOLD HIM THAT TO DO SO IS A BIT KINKY).

 

TURDBOY'S QUILL AS USED TO TICKLE IT

I make no comment as to why the colour is like it is on the tickle end.

Edited April 8, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........Turbo's tender was the lowest price.

A famous Astronaut once said it was scary to command a rocket, orbital and landing craft knowing that they were built by the lowest tenderer (it took $3 mil for him to agree not to mention Turbine Space Inc.)

 

Of course these Drifters are a long way from the RA Drifters used for aerobatics competitions; for a start the wings had to be removed to stop them clapping, and these earth-based Drifters were then free to use without restraint on earth or on planets with their hydrogen fuel cell power plants, which ...........

 

[Turbo apologises for his late replay but was busy painting six Drifters green and dipatching them to Ukraine to help in the war.]

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Of course these Drifters are a long way from the RA Drifters used for aerobatics competitions; for a start the wings had to be removed to stop them clapping, and these earth-based Drifters were then free to use without restraint on earth or on planets with their hydrogen fuel cell power plants, which ...........

..... led to NASA's Mars rovers being named using the quintessential Aussie places "The Moorabbin", "The Quwinana" and the little known Turbine Space Inc built "Werribee Stink Farm" which was destroyed in a launch pad accident in 1984 because TSI had neglected to .......

[turboplanner]

......pull the chain before.....

Edited April 9, 2022 by turboplanner

[Captain]

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......pull the chain before.....

........ the countdown.

 

Turbs has often told me that he hates "the countdown" as his construction & tendering processes mean that a high percentage of his space vehicles do end up like cracker night at the Moorabbin oval during Turbo's youth (which must have been some time after gunpowder was invented) when somebody dropped a bunger in the box of crackers that Tubb had saved up for all year.

 

So every time now that there is a countdown at Cape Canaveral or that poxy little space-port in the jungle, Turdy puts his fingers in his .........

 

RARE FILM OF TURBO'S BOX OF CRACKERS GOING UP AT MOORABBIN OVAL

DISREGARD THE FOOTER BELOW AS SOME YANK HAD KNOCKED OFF THE FOOTAGE

 

Edited April 10, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

With the NES shut down in advance for the Easter Holidays, the Skipper in his usual happy and chocolatey manner, wishes all NESers and our thousands of readers a Happy Easter.

 

PLEASE RECEIVE THE BELOW EASTER CARD WITH OUR BLESSINGS

AND NOTE TURBO IS THE KING-LIKE DUDE AT THE TOP OF THE PILE, AS USUAL,

CAPPY IS THE BLOKE AT THE BOTTOM LEFT BEING EATEN BY PETER.

AND THE REST OF OUR LOYAL NES'ERS CAN WORK OUT WHICH IS THEM.

Edited April 12, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

5 hours ago, Captain said:

 

 

POSTSCRIPT

1. Where is the CT when he is needed, to plug all the bunnies and save his NES mates?
    
2. Does Turbo look a bit like Homer Simpson in that card?
    
3. Geeeeeeeeeeez bull looks crook, and you can see why OT gets all the girls.

Edited April 12, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

15 minutes ago, Captain said:

 

POSTSCRIPT

1. Where is the CT when he is needed, to plug all the bunnies and save his NES mates?
    
2. Does Turbo look a bit like Homer Simpson in that card?
    
3. Geeeeeeeeeeez bull looks crook, and you can see why OT gets all the girls.

This caused some serious consternation amongst the left in Australia as the depiction of violence and harm depicted as a greeting for a religious holiday was breaking the bounderies of conduct in the NES  and some thought should be put towards sanctions against this member :skipper: was being called for amongst the fringe members of the NES [you know those that never contribute to the story ] ...Now .................

[turboplanner]

Now .......some would say that fringe members who never contribute might have difficulty calling for anything, but hypothetically they could make a post, call for something, then delete the post in the ten seconds available. The erotic adventures of XXXXXXXXXXXand XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX at XXXXXXXXXX just posted by Turbo confirms this procedure works, so ..................

[onetrack]

.....this led to more consternation amongst the NES'ers as to just what the erotic adventures that Turbo had posted, then deleted, actually were - because no-one likes to be left in the dark, and as FOMO was a strong driver amongst the majority of the NES'ers, a drive was started, to try and uncover exactly where Turbo had been, and what he'd actually been into.

 

The investigative powers and resources available to many NES'ers was something that Turbo had never anticipated, and he blanched when he realised his carefully-hidden erotic adventures were slowly being uncovered, which uncovering would lead to an appalling.......

[Captain]

Turbo is a complete XXXX .................................. wrote Planey and then deleted it quick stix and inside the 10 second rule, so nobody would ever know.

[turboplanner]

....but someone did.

In the deep dark corridors of the old section of the Kremlin, Chernei Tchaikowsky was in deep thought.

An alert had come up on his computer of two words entered in Australia in sequence by P, one of the sixty million people under 24 hour surveillance by the Kremlin.

 

 In 2015 Putin had picked up a video cassette of Robert Redford in Three days of the Condor, a story about three people in an old attick in New York who sat there listening to every conversation in the world, noting any naughty words and punishing the bad people. It was just the sort of thing this introvert who even then hated the Ukraine, because they always had the best soldiers in the USSR, and he introduced the system to the Kremlin.

 

As an explanation to casual NES readers we should explain that around the same time Turbo an ad had come on Turbo's screen for a $10 software package that watched all computer and phone transmissions in the world, sorted them according to which ones the subscriber wanted to see, and produced an hourly report. They say "Knowledge is Power" and Turbo paid his ten dollars, and that has kept him informed for years (along with Cappy's morning gossip). Putin also paid ten dollars, and set it up in the Kremlin.

 

CT was irritated when the message came in because the first thing he had to do was read through the 30,000 Ps so see which one was making the statement.

 

It was shear bad luck that there was a fault in the old Kermlin computers and today they were transposing letters, so T-u-r-b-o became P-u-t-i-n.

 

This had to be reported immediately so CT ...............................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

It was shear bad luck that there was a fault in the old Kermlin computers and today they were transposing letters, so T-u-r-b-o became P-u-t-i-n.

 

This had to be reported immediately so CT ...............................

...... quickly wrote the next couple of movements of The Nutcracker (which he named The Ballbreaker) and tore down to the post office in Daraweit Guim, a suburb of Moscow, where he sent a telegram to ......

Edited April 12, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........T-U-R-B-O. Nobody had told him that the error was only on the Chinese manufacture computers that Russia had bought in the 1980s, and the Post3mesch said "who the hell is this" in Russian. A factory worker who was sixth in the queue yelled out "That's Turbo in Australiaz you idiot; he's the one who's been giving us the nightly news from Ukraine about our brave soldiers" and everyone laughed, the Post3mech grinned and market the messaged URGENTSKY!!!!!!!!!

 

Turbo received the messaged intended for Putin ..........................

[onetrack]

......which read, "Concern is increased as regardski the Australianski connection. He appears to shows signs of being a double agentski. He appears to know things and happenings long before we do. In particular, he appears to be in close touch with the Ukrainian revolterski and sympathising with them, particularly in regardski to Ukrainian aviation areas. This cannot be tolerated. Immediate elimination of the Australianski connection is advised. Our countryskis security depends on it. Respectfullski, Comrade Mordivichski." Turbo turned pale. He knew the reach of Putins power and what they did to double agents. It was time to follow the script from 3 Days of the Condor. It was time for him to do a Joe Turner. He grabbed his.......