The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Somewthing was wrong; he couldn't move his legs, but as she slid towards him at over 150 km/hr he grabbed her, and saved her life. Now he couldn't feel his arms either, and ..........

....... that is the back-story to the vegetable that we know today as the TurnipPlonger, so now lives his life as a ......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

TurnipPlonger

Apologies all. That was an error. Everyone knows that he is actually a Plonker.

[Captain]

5 hours ago, Captain said:

Everyone knows that he is actually a Plonker.

... But he is OUR TurnipPlonker, he is my longest, oldest & best mate (we always sign our Christmas, Birthdays, Lent, Passover, Easter, Bris, Ramadan and Day-of-Arafat cards "Yours in Aviation" (avref), and we all love him (except possibly for Planey).

Edited April 18, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......rocket scientist. His V2 rockets reached Space and his Woomera launched V5.5. ........

[Captain]

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......rocket scientist. His V2 rockets reached Space and his Woomera launched V5.5. ........

..... was a great success, as it missed Coober Pedy and ....

[turboplanner]

........landed near a Mission Community in the western desert. Within days it had been fitted with a front axle from a Commer, rear axle from an FC Holden and engine from an XA Falcon and was o its way with 27 people to a nearby (200 km) swimming hole where ................

[Captain]

.... it was repainted as a python based rainbow serpent & used by kiddies as one of those sausage ride on things and towed behind an old Lewis hull pushed by a reconditioned straight six Mercury.

 

This outstanding success of his V5.5 meant that Turbo was offered a high level position in NASA and renamed Werner von Turbo, after which he was .......

Edited April 18, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....immediately put on the urgent list for investigation by the FBI, as inquiries into his track record after his appointment, showed that his CV didn't match his (overstated) abilities, and his record of flitting from country to country and constantly indulging in new start-up companies made him a prime target for background checking.

 

When the Turbo-Putin link was discovered, the ordure hit the fan, big-time (as OT was fond of saying), in all of the U.S. Intelligence Agencies. Communication lines were immediately established with ASIO, in regard to Turbo's activities, and what the CIA then found, was explosive, to say the least. 

 

Said a top CIA operative, "Hey, this guy makes Pablo look......

 

Edited April 18, 2022 by onetrack

[CT9000]

......fairly clever, what fool would think that a rear end from a FC Holden would handle the torque from a falcon 250ci six. ( Bear in mind dear NES readers that a FC engine is only 138ci. ) Something a bit fishy with the engineering capability here.....

[turboplanner]

.......so maybe we'll have to check all the equipment in the space program, but Morton stepped up and said "Bullsh!t mate, you city fullus are all the same. We know its too small, but us fullus  fill the diff with squashed banana, and put a condom over the carby and stick a few more holes in it and we've got a match. Turbo's engineering is great for and and he's our Elder now, because we are looking for more land to claim.................

Edited April 19, 2022 by turboplanner

[onetrack]

......so we can expand our Indigenous Space Programme, which is going to make that NASA mob look pretty tame. Besides, we used to have a Space Programme before the White Man came, they didn't even realise what we were doing with our carvings and rock paintings, and they just trampled it in the rush to take our Lands!

 

Those paintings you see in the caves with what the experts call the Wandjina headdress - that was our Astronauts in 2500BC! Those experts thought we were drawing some some kind of space aliens - they got no idea! We got the Space Programme records in with the oral tribal history of our elders, you only gotta ask them, and you'll find out that we used........

[turboplanner]

...... to fly to New York before the white man knew it was there,

"What did you fly to New York for? asked Turbo.

"Things" said Morton, who was getting sick of this discussion .........................

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...... to fly to New York before the white man knew it was there,

"What did you fly to New York for? asked Turbo.

"Things" said Morton, who was getting sick of this discussion .........................

.......... so resorted to the "Secret Business" excuse and would not travel back until the red 747 with the other coloured dots was brought back onto the route from NY to ........

 

THIS JUMBO IS NOW FLYING FREIGHT FOR AIR NICURAGUA

WITH ENGINES THAT ARE 1500 HRS OVER TIME,

AND HASN'T BEEN PAINTED FOR 15 YEARS

Edited April 19, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....to Darwin to Alice Springs, so the whole tribe could travel together. "We don't like getting separated, you must know that!?", said Morton.

 

"O.K.", said CT, curious by now. "But how did you go, when you had interplanetary space travel 40,000 years ago? That must have split up the tribes somewhat?"

 

"Oh, we got split up bad, back den", said Morton. "And it's still on, today! Even now, I hear sum people in Gubbmint say, 'You must be on anudder planet!!" ..... "

 

"So, dey knows we had interplanetary travel back den, and some of our people are still up dere! But that's what happens when you use Pord Palcons for long-distance travel!! And everyone knows there's no abandoned Palcons along the route to Mars, to pick parts off!"

 

This conversation was unfortunately overheard by an Anthropologist, and a tribal Elder - and before long, a sacred land claim was being made for the land on Mars where the Curiosity rover had landed, and this caused a great deal of angst in NASA, as it was only then they realised the significance of those strangely-placed rocks in front of Curiosity, that looked just like........

 

Edited April 19, 2022 by onetrack

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

This conversation was unfortunately overheard by an Anthropologist, and a tribal Elder - and before long, a sacred land claim was being made for the land on Mars where the Curiosity rover had landed, and this caused a great deal of angst in NASA, as it was only then they realised the significance of those strangely-placed rocks in front of Curiosity, that looked just like........

...... fish traps, but were actually stepping stones for the use of the Mars Kadaitcha Men (there was really only 1 but he got around a fair bit), so that they wouldn't get their feathered moccasins dirty from all that Mars dust, or if it ever rains up there again.

 

On hearing about the Mars Land Claims, all States and the Federal Gov't allocated a further $500 M for the welfare of the Mars Mob (MM), on the condition that Mars stays "dry", who then .........

 

DEM FISH TRAPS ON MARS LOOK JUST LIKE THIS, EH?

EXCEPT FOR THE WATER ..........

AND THE FACT THAT 2 NASA MARS ROVERS HAVE BEEN TRAPPED INSTEAD

(NASA ARE REALLY XXXXED OFF BUT HAVE DECIDED TO PAY $10 M COMPENSATION

INSTEAD, FOR THE 7 STONES THAT GOT MOVED BY THE ROVER'S TYRES)

Edited April 19, 2022 by Captain

[CT9000]

......cares anyway, we all know that anything Rover will (a) break down and (b) the park brake will not hold so a few stones will need to be used to hold it....

[bull]

down so it drowns [yes bull is back after being ostrasized and banished to the no posting bin for something that has nothing to do with me,,lol]   now drowning a rover was not really that hard as even a light dew make them stutter and fail. What wet rovers has to do with martian settlement and ..............

[turboplanner]

..........booze thought old Alistair, a Nguggarubba man who still lived the way of the past, except for the one treat per day of Vickers gin, and was irritated by the current generation who were losing the ways.

"Morton was one of them", he thought as he noticed Morton walking towards him with a sheet of corrugated iron on his back. "What that on your back fulla?" asked Alistair. "That my Doona" replied Morton, and old Alistair signed at the weakness of the current generation, who were .................

 

 

 

[Captain]

8 hours ago, bull said:

[yes bull is back after being ostrasized and banished to the no posting bin for something that has nothing to do with me,,lol]

AS AN ASIDE - Dear bull. Please be aware that free legal services are available to all NES'ers, & to Flying (avref) Wrecks more generally, from Turbine Legal Services and their in-house lawyers Turbine, Onesie & Cappy Pty Ltd, one of whom has direct experience of the oppression of the unreasonable Moderratti.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

and old Alistair signed at the weakness of the current generation, who were ......

..... much more interested in playing on their phones than spending time contemplating their navels in a spaceship full of good witchety grub tucka going back to Mars Country (respects to all Martians past & present) and latching onto the $510 million that is available up there ...... but there no Toyotas up there, eh?

 

This cultural shift was .......

[Captain]

Relax everybody, one of the Mars Rovers has got out of the fish trap (but 2 of the windows still won't wind up properly).

 

https://fb.watch/cuUU1VXUda/

 

Edited April 19, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

20 minutes ago, Captain said:

Relax everybody, one of the Mars Rovers has got out of the fish trap (but 2 of the windows still won't wind up properly).

 

https://fb.watch/cuUU1VXUda/

 

Source: Flinders Ranges Tourist Office

[turboplanner]

........alarming to TurboNgarrundjeri who identified as an Elder of the Yallock Yallock tribe who had never ceded their traditional lands which straddled Gina's latest mine.

Gina wanted to get the mine in production and TurboN wanted to fund production of Aeroflites [allaboutavrev]  and he was getting sick of sitting under a gidgee branch in the middle of nowehere so they struck a deal where Gina would build .....................

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Source: Flinders Ranges Tourist Office

And the NASA branch office behind the Bakery (a CIA front) in Main St, Hawker.

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........alarming to TurboNgarrundjeri who identified as an Elder of the Yallock Yallock tribe who had never ceded their traditional lands which straddled Gina's latest mine.

Gina wanted to get the mine in production and TurboN wanted to fund production of Aeroflites [allaboutavrev]  and he was getting sick of sitting under a gidgee branch in the middle of nowehere so they struck a deal where Gina would build .....................

..... up TurboN's reputation and his aura in WA society (oxymoronref) via a program of .....