The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..... almost immediately slammed into Cappy. "Oh, I am most awfully sorry" said Turbo, playing the Pom card, but Cappy ................................

..... who was certainly grey and sickly looking, just ......

[turboplanner]

.......shook with fear because Turbo had changed colour completely and was now a bright .....................

[onetrack]

.....red, resembling Barnaby Joyce or Bob Katter, right after they'd been told that a video had been posted on social media, with them both being caricatured as rednecks carrying centrefire automatic carbines in racks in the back window of their utes - and that the video had been viewed 183 million times and shared with.........

 

Edited April 22, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.......Vladimir Putin, who fancied himself as a redneck but couldn't quite get the tone, and .................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......Vladimir Putin, who fancied himself as a redneck but couldn't quite get the tone, and .................

....... content right when he talks about GrandPawski, Elly-May-ova & Jethro the oligarch.

 

That is not dissimilar to the way bull's finely tuned Bone accent sounds down in Tassy when he dons his beret and heads down to the MONA in downtown Berriedale each Saturday afternoon to grab his 6 or 7 free Chardys and to discuss the esoteric merits of the  ........

Edited April 22, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....MONA's sex and death candles - not to mention the bouquet and subtle flavours of the Chardonnay variety served, and how they need to lift their game, and provide more exclusive wine varieties, and more nuanced and less crudely-orientated art, if they want to become a greater presence in the Art World.

 

"Just imagine!", said bull, "We could turn this place into something that would make Guggenheim and Bilbao look like a rained-out church fair in Strahan, with a bit of effort! We need to enlarge MONA's art vision, and collection, to include aviation-themed works, and accordingly, I propose that........

[Captain]

..... we create a Little Vlady Putin Death Candle display, after all, he is qualified".

 

And this single suggestion earnt bull the nomination to replace that bald bloke who resigned as Tassy Premier, and a nomination for the "nobel explosives & war machine" Peace Prize, which bull thought was a bit paltry, given his .....

Edited April 23, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

jackaroo was unarmed.  Now apon recieving the premiership of the colonial island of Tasmania Bull signed executive order after order and turned the state around from a festering pool of tree huggers and pink hair barman to declaring that Tasmania is now a country and will become autonomous .  and Pricktorians will need to have a police clearance to enter the country any other state we believe you.   Now you can just imagine the responce from scomo as he................

[turboplanner]

....quietly breathed a sigh of relief that Tasmania had gone back into its shell for another hundred years. But there was trouble on the horizon; President Xi reminded Chairman Dan that he'd paid for the road to Tasmania and asked for his money back, and said he was going to take a closer look at how many belts and roads had actually been built in Victoria. He also warned Dan that he had just signed an Agreement with that nice Mr Bill from Tasmania, and casually mentioned that he might build a Naval base there.

 

"Go right ahead" said Dan and emailed Xi a photo of the Moskva with its fire crew showing their skill at pointing hoses in the direction of a fire; Dan added "How's your mate, Vlad?"

 

Xi responded with "It's not going to be easy with Albanese" and Dan ............

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

Xi responded with "It's not going to be easy with Albanese" and Dan ......

....... gave Premier bull a call, because Dan knew that premier bull, when inflamed, could be meaner that all the Labor Mean Girls on steroids, even more than Penny Pong on her own.

 

"Hey bull, old mate. Can you give Xi a quick bell and quieten him down, as he is really giving me the .......

[turboplanner]

........Vladomirs. The Premier understood immediately what Dan was going through, becaise Vlad had threatened to send tanks in to Tasmania to even up the balance of power in the Bass Strait zone. bull was only trying to crack a joke when he said "Are you going to run out of fuel here too" and Vlad ha threatened to Nuke him, but made him promise not to tell anyone. What he didn't count on was that bull had been Bidens Wing Man at the Battle of ....................

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

What he didn't count on was that bull had been Bidens Wing Man at the Battle of ..........

....... the bulge, as they were both 20 kgs overweight but bull had all his faculties, and then some.

 

bull liked the slogan as developed by Turbine Marketing of "It wont be easy with Albanese", but reckoned that he can come up with something similar without paying TM's exorbitant fees. So "Get full with bull" was adopted and Tassy immediately ran out of corflute because ........

 

Edited April 23, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....the election signage was stolen as fast as it was put up - with virtually all the signage ending up decorating Man Caves up and down the length of Tasmania. Some of the signs even found their way through Customs, to end up in Victorian Man Caves.

 

However, after a while, it was realised it wasn't the slogan the thieves were chasing - it was the great photo of bull mounting a heifer. It's long been known that in many rural locations in Tasmania, where the blokes are ugly and the wimmen are uglier, mounting creatures other than wimmen was a regular and tacitly-approved habit.

 

However, it was rare for photos of these activities to appear publically, and this is what caused the photo to be in great demand. So much so, that.........

[turboplanner]

.......Turbine Print paid bull $1 million dollars for the rights and put the image up on Instagram, within hours they had 3.2 million followers and had sold $6 million in advertising space, and it was expanding exponentially. "You don't get an opportunity like this often" said Turbo, and next we're thinking of ............

[Captain]

..... making a range of bull icecreams which we plan to call ......

[bull]

..bullrush cremes,[as they added some meth to it] and suddenly the work output of Tasmanians doubled overnight but.........

[Captain]

..... that doesn't mean all that much when you consider that .....

[bull]

They where always classed as..........

 

[Captain]

...... "working class", but they didn't actually do any work, they were just poor and therefore couldn't afford to use shift keys (capital letter are obviously more expensive) long expensive words or ......

Edited April 25, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

........even cast-off dictionaries. On top of all this, the Tasmanians used for this work were all strict unionists, and when the management requested that they put in longer hours without any overtime being paid, the howls of protest were heard as far away as.......

[bull]

heard island ,and thats a long way from............

[onetrack]

.....where the icecreams were planned to be sold - which was Nth Qld and the N.T. - because you can't sell many icecreams on Heard Island - or even Southern Tasmania in Winter, if it comes to that.

 

Suddenly, though, complaints started to come in from everywhere about the taste and flavour of the bull icecream. "This stuff tastes like cow turds!" one Google reviewer complained.

 

Another reviewer said, "I didn't realise anyone could make such terrible-tasting icecreams, until I bought a bull icecream! Now, I don't know how anyone could stuff up the taste of icecream, unless they were using......

 

Edited April 25, 2022 by onetrack

[bull]

some magic ingrediant, cause no matter how bad they taste i can not stop eating them! Now this..............

[onetrack]

.....is the most horrible thing to have happen - an addiction to some product, that is just a terrible experience, and really bad for your body!! When word of this terrible addiction to bull's foul-tasting icecreams filtered through to OT, Turbine and Cappy, the trio decided that they had to help these unfortunate people.

 

Accordingly, they initiated and organised the Rehabilitation Centre for bull's icecream products - a place where those poor afflicted people who were under the overpowering spell of bulls addictive products, could withdraw from them over a period, until they became free of the addiction.

 

This fine upstanding move to help their fellow men and women, saw OT, Turbo and Cappy each nominated for an Order of Australia award - and it was even suggested the Tasmanian Govt could produce a special Award for them as well, which Award would rank up there with the........... 

[Captain]

9 hours ago, onetrack said:

This fine upstanding move to help their fellow men and women, saw OT, Turbo and Cappy each nominated for an Order of Australia award - and it was even suggested the Tasmanian Govt could produce a special Award for them as well, which Award would rank up there with the.......

......... toys that used to come in cereal boxes but are now provided via Maccas, or a 2nd hand & chipped Coke YoYo (including the shriveled end of an index finger that was strangled by the string, pre anti-biotics) that .......

Edited April 25, 2022 by Captain