The Never Ending Story

[bull]

turn into a.

[Captain]

24 minutes ago, bull said:

turn into a.

...... (notice the free ......'s supplied here to bull while his full-stop key is buggered) ..... ravenous beast, and she wasn't even wanting food, so she was actually ravenous for .......

 

 

PS - Congratulations to bull for clicking over onto page 701. Shame he did not do that 1 page ago and win the huge prize so generously donated by Eeeeeeaan and Turbine Aerospace.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

spinach,as she grew up watching popeye the sailer man and it became a hereditrary trait.The scene was punchered by the sound of her teeth as she tore into the can [no can opener] ripping several.......

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, bull said:

spinach,as she grew up watching popeye the sailer man and it became a hereditrary trait.The scene was punchered by the sound of her teeth as she tore into the can [no can opener] ripping several.......

........ items of clothing asunder (sometimes known as a wardrobe malfunction when her left one fell out), as she was watched from the side of the stage by Brutus, who himself was rippling in places, and was obviously keen to puncture .........

 

HAVING SEEN bULL'S GREAT BODY EXPOSED IN THE TASSY

VERSION OF PLAYGIRL, THE BELOW PHOTO COULD ACTUALLY BE HIM

 

Edited April 30, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

19 minutes ago, Captain said:

........ items of clothing asunder (sometimes known as a wardrobe malfunction when her left one fell out), as she was watched from the side of the stage by Brutus, who himself was rippling in places, and was obviously keen to puncture .........

 

HAVING SEEN bULL'S GREAT BODY EXPOSED IN THE TASSY

VERSION OF PLAYGIRL, THE BELOW PHOTO COULD ACTUALLY BE HIM

 

It was not so much the fact that the fake media had now turned full circle on itself and the story was in dire danger of being lost and requires the help of long time NES,er,s to recover to humour /laughter and indomitable wit of the Mighty Cappy and co ,along side the equally mighty Turbo and his Turbine ind,s world wide[loves the chineses] .....now someone please.........

[Captain]

47 minutes ago, bull said:

.now someone please......

.......... note how hard it must be for bull to push certain keys all the time with big fat muscly fingers as shown in that photo, yet with such a fantastic physique and such big fingers, how can he also have such an insignificant and unnoticeable (even in tight shorts), .........

 

All of bull's muscles come courtesy of the "Queenstown Muscle Palace", a franchise of Turbine Body Building and Steroids Inc.

 

THE QUEENSTOWN MUSCLE PALACE WHERE bULL HAS A MONTH BY MONTH MEMBERSHIP.

AS YOU CAN SEE, THEY DON'T WASTE MONEY ON THEIR PREMISES & UNDER TBB&SI GUIDANCE PREFER TO DIRECT THEIR EFFORTS INTO THE SUPPLY OF TOP QUALITY STEROIDS.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....position in "Playgirl - Tasmanian version"? After all, bull's physique is such, that he should've made the centrefold, but his photo was actually relegated to Page 54 - and it only occupied a quarter page, and was sort of overwhelmed by the adjoining large ad, which read, "Tasmanian Cow Pat Hurlers WANTED!".

 

You see, the Southern Tasmanians have a huge problem in trying to acquire enough contestants for their annual Cow Pat Hurling Games - simply because Southern Tasmanian cow pats rarely dry out enough to be able to pick them up and hurl them.

 

As a result, contestants in the CPHG were constantly having huge problems in picking up the local cow pats, because they were all wet and sloppy, and there's nothing more demoralising than trying to pick up a wet cow pat, and having it fall apart, just as you.........

 

Edited April 30, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

........strong enough to beat of an intruder just with her looks, and what's more .........

 

[In Cappy's reference to Turbo's service with the French Foreign Legion he didn't mention that Turbo had been awarded the Croix de Guerre, the Liberte de Paris, and was the subject for the book Beau Geste, where a desert patrol arrives at a fort and there is no response when they knock on the font door thingy. They look up and in the crenellates they see rifles pointing out. There is not a sound except for opne blowfly buzzing around Corporal Onne Trek. The Corporal climbs over the wall and finds the fort deserted except for one little soldier who tells this amzing story.]

 

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........strong enough to beat of an intruder just with her looks, and what's more .........

 

[In Cappy's reference to Turbo's service with the French Foreign Legion he didn't mention that Turbo had been awarded the Croix de Guerre, the Liberte de Paris, and was the subject for the book Beau Geste, where a desert patrol arrives at a fort and there is no response when they knock on the font door thingy. They look up and in the crenellates they see rifles pointing out. There is not a sound except for opne blowfly buzzing around Corporal Onne Trek. The Corporal climbs over the wall and finds the fort deserted except for one little soldier who tells this amzing story.]

 

Dear NESers. Please make allowance for the above post as the TurgidPlonker appears to have made a response (however excellent in content, as usual) to a thread/topic from page 700 with no attempt to follow on from the SingleRoot's excellent ramble into the fascinating subject of liquid Tasmanian cow pats. Give us 30 minutes & some brilliant NES contributor will be able to combine squishy cow pats with the Foreign Legion, Beau Geste, the TP's numerous awards, the Fort, the Corporal and that single poo covered fly.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

Dear NESers. Please make allowance for the above post as the TurgidPlonker appears to have made a response (however excellent in content, as usual) to a thread/topic from page 700 with no attempt to follow on from the SingleRoot's excellent ramble into the fascinating subject of liquid Tasmanian cow pats. Give us 30 minutes & some brilliant NES contributor will be able to combine squishy cow pats with the Foreign Legion, Beau Geste, the TP's numerous awards, the Fort, the Corporal and that single poo covered fly.

 

Turbo apologises to our RES readers; he still suffers lost time as a result of being on the USS at the time of the Philadelphia Experiment (which we won't talk about here because it was Classified), but to go back to the correct concatenated contextual continuity:

 

"As a result, contestants in the CPHG were constantly having huge problems in picking up the local cow pats, because they were all wet and sloppy, and there's nothing more demoralising than trying to pick up a wet cow pat, and having it fall apart, just as you.........

 

...have lifted it over your head to check for any light transmission, which would disqualify it, and find it doesn't meet the 95th percentile thickness and is transerring itself to your head and ................

 

[Captain]

52 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo apologises to our RES readers; he still suffers lost time as a result of being on the USS at the time of the Philadelphia Experiment (which we won't talk about here because it was Classified), but to go back to the correct concatenated contextual continuity:

The TP's apology is noted but unwarranted, as his fellow NESers were aware that he was the head experiment within the Philadelphia Experiment and we have been making allowance for that for the last several decades.

 

Turbo will, of course, not remember as he is still a bit scrambled, but it was the brave Cappy and his wingman (avref) Onlyeverhadoneroot (OEHOR) who rescued Turbo from the clutches (and crutches) of the PE and returned him safely to the quiet life in Mextoria. Our only reward, but it is enough for people such as us who always operate anonymously in the shadows, is to see Turbo partly rehabilitated and posting here during his lucid moments.

 

CAPPY AND THE OEHOR DURING THE PE OPERATION TO SNATCH  BACK TURBO

Edited April 30, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

"As a result, contestants in the CPHG were constantly having huge problems in picking up the local cow pats, because they were all wet and sloppy, and there's nothing more demoralising than trying to pick up a wet cow pat, and having it fall apart, just as you.........

 

...have lifted it over your head to check for any light transmission, which would disqualify it, and find it doesn't meet the 95th percentile thickness and is transerring itself to your head and ..........

....... that is the reason, dear patient readers, why images such as those below mean so much to Tasmanians, because these always get them .......

 

 

 

Edited May 1, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

......excited, because it's a reminder that the annual South Tasmanian Cow Pat Throwing Competition is not far off, and it's time to start training again, and practising accurate and long throws.

 

Of course, the history of the STCPTC is rooted in the earliest history of Tasmania, shortly after Port Arthur was founded, and one Lieutenant Aloysuis Albert Smythe-Cook (a prominent early ancestor of Cappys), accidentally stood in a cow pat, as he exchanged piquet duty outside the Fort, with another soldier.

 

Al, as he was commonly known, was that disgusted that he hadn't seen the huge cow pat, and that he'd actually stood in it, became quite enraged (as the cow pat had totally discoloured the sparking Nugget shine on his boots - bent down and picked up the cow pat (which stayed in one piece, because it was the exact level of dryness and firmness needed for cow pat hurling) - and hurled it a distance of around 65 yards (they didn't use metres in 1833) - which distance absolutely astounded his companions watching - and which of course, led the others to try hurling cow pats, to see if they could beat Al's efforts. 

 

From there, cow pat hurling simply became a major tradition in Southern Tasmania, and after a few years as the population increased, it became an annual event, and something all the Southern Tasmanians looked forward to, to alleviate their dreary, grey-sky, rainy life. So much so, that it is believed that the AFL and long-distance football kicking competitions originated from the cow pat hurling competitions, and to this very day, just the.....

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

From there, cow pat hurling simply became a major tradition in Southern Tasmania, and after a few years as the population increased, it became an annual event, and something all the Southern Tasmanians looked forward to, to alleviate their dreary, grey-sky, rainy life. So much so, that it is believed that the AFL and long-distance football kicking competitions originated from the cow pat hurling competitions, and to this very day, just the.....

.... key points are remembered through song + dance, and are highlighted through the legend of the rainbow elephant seal and how his brother the spotted Friesian (named after the Tassy native word for Mt Wellington) got together in a coital activity with some associated slap & tickle, to produce the wonderful circular cow pats (which are actually shaped by the increased spinning of the earth in southern latitudes where no other Australians want to live).

 

As a result of these precisely circular cow pats, the original Tasmanian Natives (who were even here before the 1st Nations lobbed in from Indonesia to kill all the poor harmless Diprotodons), used the cow pats in a manner similar to Ninga stars and as a result, the boomerang never existed in Tassy (but the Ninja stars never came back so they were fitter than their northern neighbors from running to pick them all up).

 

The bigger round cow pats led to the development of Frisbees, while the smaller ones were originally used as clay targets by the natives and subsequently by the colonists, then taken worldwide and into the Olympics.

 

It is little known that the Tasmanian Natives are paid a $1 royalty for each Frisbee and each Clay Target that is manufactured worldwide, and everybody who throws a Frisby or shoots a clay target must pay a 5 cent levy, per throw, which will be the subject of a Native RipOff Claim in the High Court next .......

 

 

Edited May 1, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

week where the Senior Elder of the Ngimbygimberi Tribe (which had not been in existence two weeks ago), Voldomyr Evzbeyan, was asserting that in his tribe 132,000 years ago they were  shaping Friesian cow pats into discs using a Keilzl Die Mould, and should therefore be receiving the royalty.

 

Albo, who'd just won the election (it wasn't easy), had to make a decision; "I've got a plan", he said to everyone who would listen; "if we give the Ng,Ng,Bg - them 10c a pat, they'll go away", but .................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Albo, who'd just won the election (it wasn't easy), had to make a decision; "I've got a plan", he said to everyone who would listen; "if we give the Ng,Ng,Bg - them 10c a pat, they'll go away", but ........

..... Voldomyr had gotten his extended family into Tasmania under a Labor kickback (franchised from Hunter Biden) Ukrainian Work Support & AvoidanceScheme (UWSAAS) and the his tribe now outnumbered the rest of the Skippies in Tassy.

 

bull was incensed (not the smelly sticks though, but he does get turned on by the cinnamon ones though). "this situation is tassy is worse that the lebanese takeover of the rebels bikie gang (they can't wear full face helmets because of their noses), and it's a shocker when good aussie outcast tattooed bodgies can't run a crime gang anymore" said bull as he pulled his shirt down over his 1%er and jail tatts. "and voldomyr's ukrainian pigeon english lingo has become the accepted 2nd language of Tassy" added bull in disgust, eh.

 

The Ukrainian takeover of Tasmania motivated Vladimir Andrews to consider an invasion and land-grab but when it came to the crunch he didn't really have the ba.........

 

LITTLE DANNY ANDREWS AFTER THE PRE-INVASION SURGERY

RECOVERING IN THE SERENITY AT LAKE EILDON

Edited May 1, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......adass military equipment that the Ukrainians had.

Instead he decided top be a sneak and take his troops across on the Princess of Tasmania.

"No one will know", he said  "so like the Russians, I'll gain the element of surprise, and can then ......

 

 

Vladimyr Andrew during his last visit to the USA, accompanied by a horse groom.

[bull]

maybe get one trip in without a breakdown ,,,might get two depends,said the chief engineer Ensign Tubs...

[turboplanner]

........hopefully because there were soldiers throwing up right throughout the ship, and he was wishing to return to the relaxed behviour of Victorian Squatters, who didn't throw up or yell, and always gave big tips, because ...............

[bull]

he needed the extra coin to pay the deckies overtime to hose down all the spew,,,and that,s without mentioning the human leftovers spilled throughout the cabins and decks.  This has got to stop said Chief Tub ,lets leave the hoses..................

[turboplanner]

....hoses running and have a beer.

The Royal Commission into the sinking of the Princess of Tasmania heard from witness after witness that .......................

[bull]

was that the vodka never seemed to run out until just before the...........

[Captain]

9 hours ago, bull said:

was that the vodka never seemed to run out until just before the...........

..... defrocking of Ensign Tub (his sword also got broken, or at least sprained, when a big burly midshipman squirrel-gripped him), when he could be seen to be behaving ....

 

SOME SAY IT WAS DONE WHILE PLAYING RUGBY

BUT THE CREW ALL KNEW IT OCCURRED IN THE PRIVACY OF DECK 3

Edited May 3, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

with the 

5 hours ago, Captain said:

when he could be seen to be behaving ....

a little funny.  Hey thats CHIEF ENGINEERmister rat said Tubs [totally getting into role,,lol] and you will address me as such from now on ok?

 

Edited May 3, 2022 by bull

[Captain]

9 hours ago, bull said:

with the 

a little funny.  Hey thats CHIEF ENGINEER ..... mister rat said Tubs [totally getting into role,,lol] and you will address me as such from now on ok?

 

..... and the Rat of course agreed as he and Tubb are very close, having been called "Best mates" several time by Eeeeeaaann at numerous Fly-Ins and prestigious Aviation (avref) Events.

 

A further reason is that Ratty's Jedi skills have meant that his entire body (yes, even that ...... & those) has been registered as a lethal weapon and he is worried that .....

Edited May 3, 2022 by Captain