The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

.......one day soon, that lethal weapon will become aged, tired, flabby, and weak - with poor eyesight, hearing, and reflexes - and the Jedi Rat will then become totally dependent on assistance, in the form of a gopher, a walking frame, or worse - a personal nurse!

However, the thought of having a personal nurse - particularly a young one - does bring some comfort to the Jedi Rat, as he still thinks he'll be able to............

[bull]

do a Benny Hill walk in the park,,like he did whilst learning to fly spitfires with Benny Hill himself. [this is believed to be the Jedi rat and a young Tubs and we think a young Bull back in 42

but not sure]         But the reality soon hit as he needs help nowadays to just go to the toilet ,[another story altogether that one ,,thew] aand he decided that he would.............

 

Edited May 4, 2022 by bull

[Captain]

On 04/05/2022 at 3:15 PM, bull said:

But the reality soon hit as he needs help nowadays to just go to the toilet ,[another story altogether that one ,,thew] aand he decided that he would.......

..... also need help and a prop (avref) to stand up again in the park after the girls left.

 

(Cappy has been smiling ever since bull posted that video because up to this point it has always been the nurses perving on The Rat and him having to shoo them away each time he was "spent" after excessive nurses.)

 

This is one reason why Turbo (and Ahlox [usedtobeanavref]) has/have been hanging around with Cappy for several decades, as he/they has/have often benefited from the occasional excess stray nurse, not to mention the .......

Edited May 6, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

fun they had in the clapped out old spitfires they had to train in ,remember that day that cappy,s wheels would not come down that was .......

[turboplanner]

scary.

As usual Cappy started to cry, but he got lots of "Gung Ho!s" from Turbo and Ahlox, and Turbo came up with the idea  of roping a parachute harness around the fuselage of his XIV and having Ahlox strap himself in and sit on the fuselage in front of the wireless aerial (realplane avref) holding a garden rake to pull the wheels down.......

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

holding a garden rake to pull the wheels down......

.... while at the same time yelling ".....

[turboplanner]

......."HOLD IT XXXXXXX STEADY!!!!!" which was a waste of time because anyone who has flown in the circuit with Cappy knows he flies like a UFO. Finally they came up with a plan to ........

[Captain]

..... hover provocatively, then dart sideways a few times while appearing to be suspended by a piece of string, while at the same time Ahlox yelled out in his native Wirrajurumpuradgury (respects etc) tongue something about the Min-Min lights, being one of the pinched generation (more respects etc), and how he was probed one night at the BOB, Eric Cartman-like, by Turbo during a ...........

 

SECURITY FOOTAGE FROM THE BOB CLEARLY SHOWING AHLOX

Edited May 7, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....search to replace a blown light bulb.

Finally Loxie managed to hook the undercart [BigglesAbRef] with the rake just as Cappy did another zoom up. The combination worke and the qheels came down, or rather out as Cappy was halfway through a barrel roll; he rolled again at the top of the barrel roll and it looked as if he wouldn't be able to pull out. At this stage he was headed for one of the hangars (hangers for Qlders)  and actually entered one upside down coming out the other side in continuation of the barrel roll. He received gasps of applause for his spectacular feat, but was surprised when told about it after he'd landed. "What hangar?" ...............

[Captain]

.... he asked in his normal understated way.

 

"That's what I have always liked about Ratty, as with all of his numerous aviation (avref) achievements he has always been & remained a champion of us common people" said Ahlox, as he thought back to the ......

Edited May 8, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......days of the Bob......"very common" he thought, and then started to dream about the money he could make as a Spitfar Ace. He was not silly enough to believe he could ever pull off that hangar fly-though, but he was good at photoshop and video splicing as a result of his dark web activities.

 

"I could walk alone on Anzac day with a spit on a trailer behind be, and a brass band playing .........."

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

"I could walk alone on Anzac day with a spit on a trailer behind be, and a brass band playing .........."

..... with .....

[turboplanner]

.....a US basketball cheer squad marching behind, a float with male models wearing all my uniforms, from the Kyber Pass Sh!t Brown to my latest Camo with swagger stick holder, followed by a choir singing tunes of glory, followed by dioramas of the battles I was in, followed by a trailer with the Jabiru I built, prop split after I ran over it in the garage, main wheels pointing outwards, misdrill holes that made the aircraft whistle like a Stuka, the tail fin on backwards (well Mooney designed theirs that way), and engine oil leaving a trail along the road, with a special seat surrounded by gold rope at the end of the procession to sign autographs.................and then he woke up and .........

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........and then he woke up and .........

...... looked down, to find that after that stimulating dream it had woken up again after all this time, all by itself, and was .....

Edited May 8, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...a distraction to the obvious beauty walking towards him. He noticed she was wearing a sash, and when she got closer; about a metre away; he was able to read "Miss USA 2022". He couldn't believe his luck; she was smiling at him in obvious invitation. Then there was a blast of music and he realised he had really woken up this time; gin bottles all over the floor, stale cigarett smoke and a hacking cough that would scare even Mavis away. He ..............

[Captain]

..... shook his head, gave them a scratch, wiped the sleep & other stuff from his eyes, squinted and looked at the sash on his vision of loveliness again.

 

Instead of "Miss USA 2022" as per the aftermath of his wettie, it actually read "Miss or Mr BOB 1977" and while the Blue Oyster's theme song rang in his ears, he wondered to himself "What is Ahlox doing back in my dream again, and where can I get enough tissues to wipe up this ......

[bull]

2 stroke oil from Bull,s jackaroo? And WTF was a jackaroo doing in his dream?f&^k knows how Bull comes into it either but as he slowly wiped up the oil he heard a noise ,turning around from under his bed covers arised a...........

[Captain]

...... vision of loveliness from back in his days in Bone (but what is she [or he] doing down here covered in 2 Stroke and recumbent under a jackaroo?), when bull was full of ..... 

Edited May 9, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......the "Bundy Rum" he trucked in from the Cattle properties and sold on Ebay for ............

[Captain]

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......the "Bundy Rum" he trucked in from the Cattle properties and sold on Ebay for ............

WARNING ALL NES'ERS - LEGAL ACTION PENDING - Because of Cappy's elevated position as a QC, and based on advice from Wreck Flying's legal advisers, Turbine, Turbine and Plonker, Cappy hereby confirms that The Turgidplanner misspoke, as at times he is just Joe Biden on steroids (he really is on steroids) but without a son giving kickbacks to the "Big-Fella".

 

The TurgidPlonker knows little of Qld geography, so he meant to say "Boner Rum" and not "Bundy Rum". He therefore issues a groveling apologies to all Bundy employees & drinkers past present & future.

Edited May 10, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......the "Boner Rum" he trucked in from the Cattle properties and sold on Ebay for ............

Corrected on legal advice.

...... $5/flagon, a big swig from each bottle on opening, and an occasional favor, which usually involves .....

Edited May 10, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

a panel van,Loxy had a nice sandman back in the day!   Not as good as my old Valiant Drifter,my we had some fun in that ,back in the day.....Drifter said OT ,did it have a rotax?  Nah i think it was a 318 v8 but it sure flew [avref] faster then a ............

[turboplanner]

..........speeding Bullit. This was back in the days when all school kids were given milk at morning recess, supplied by RedCow, and many of them went on to drink milk all their lives. In those days RedCow ran air races and drag races, and the wagons used to fly on the drag strips of Australia to the point where they were sponsored by RedCow who came up with the slogan "RedCow gives you wings!"

 

One day, Turbo and OneTrack were sitting around drinking milk, and OT said "I wonder if the wagon would fly, if we fitted wings" so they got out the oxy torch and ......................

[bull]

with much ado attacked the old hz station wagon that was NOT the car they where allowed to do either,[it was the airport managers car ]as OT was late in delivering the panelvan!! Anyway after hours of cutting smashing and banging[not just steel as the local rsl girls came over for a look] the creation was pushed out of the shed [Similar in design to this flying Pinto ..AVREF]  ....and the wings where fitted.  Now Cappy volenteered to be the test pilot but turbo beat him in a rock verses sissors thingy and strapped himself in,as he .......................

Edited May 10, 2022 by bull

[onetrack]

....said, "Hold my beer and watch this!". The HZ, which was unfortunately powered by a wheezy, bog-standard, emission-control choked, red 202, struggled to reach V1 as it slowly trundled down the strip.

The level of apprehension rose amongst the gathering of watchers, as the HZ neared the end of the strip and still showed no sign of getting airborne.

 

Suddenly, OT spoke up. "Hang on! Where's my oxy-acetylene set gone? It didn't get left in the back of the HZ, did it?"

"Well, now that you mention it", said bull, "I haven't seen the set, since you used it to weld the wings on! And those were the large G size bottles, weren't they?"

 

"Oh, gawd!", said Cappy. Turbo's beer is going to go to waste, for sure!' - and as they all watched, the HZ ran off the end of the strip, there was a cloud of dust and flying pieces of vegetation, and.......