The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......Gucci wallet made of pigskin with ermine trim.

Turbo had bought a carton of embossed "B"s for back and sewed them on, but he coul never remember whether the B was for Bonzed Aussie Icon or back, so he had another box embossed "A".

This started his embossing period where he had the cars embossed with a C, the aircraft fleet with A, the houses H and so on and lived an orderly life until .......

...... Turbo way more Zebras than he had embossed Z's & his Aardvark collection was causing ......

Edited June 2, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

...... Turbo had way more Zebras than he had embossed Z's & his Aardvark collection was causing ......

Apologies Onesie, but we appear to have posted at exactly the same time.

 

I of course now yield my time to the learned gentleman from the West.

 

 

THESE THINGS ARE NOW MULTIPLYING OUT OF CONTROL ON ALL OF TURBO'S

COUNTRY ESTATES .................. BUT FORTUNATELY NOT WITH EACH OTHER ...... YET.

(IT IS, HOWEVER, RUMOURED THAT TURDY HAS DIRECTED HIS TRUSTED  GAMEKEEPERS

TO BUILD BOXES FOR THE LADY AARDVARKS TO STAND ON, AS HIS MARKET SURVEYS HAVE INDICATED THAT THERE IS A QUID TO BE MADE WITH STRIPED AARDVARKS).

Edited June 2, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

consternation across the nation ,KISS was not impressed at all and like the the ayatollah of rock and rolla, Bull was also in shock and the crew from the blue oyster bar [bob for short]and Cappy,s other frequently visited establishment the..............

Edited June 2, 2022 by bull

[Captain]

.... Turbine Museum of Aviation Achievements (the TMOAA) which is ......

[turboplanner]

...about to move to a new home at the now derelict Wagga Wagga International Airport, where once you could see pioneer AUF aircraft builders like Cappy talking sh!t with tourists about how he built a Jabiru in a week, and Loxie showing up in his Lycra, hair flattened with Brylcreme he'd bought from antique dealers, juming into his Beercan, once s state of the art well-known brand (The brand owner had personally flown out from the Czech Republic and ripped his brand name off it after hearing of some of Loxie's escapades like overshooting and touching down on Baillie St, where he was met by ..........

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...about to move to a new home at the now derelict Wagga Wagga International Airport, where once you could see pioneer AUF aircraft builders like Cappy talking sh!t with tourists about how he built a Jabiru in a week, and Loxie showing up in his Lycra, hair flattened with Brylcreme he'd bought from antique dealers, juming into his Beercan, once s state of the art well-known brand (The brand owner had personally flown out from the Czech Republic and ripped his brand name off it after hearing of some of Loxie's escapades like overshooting and touching down on Baillie St, where he was met by ..........

..... an adoring crowd, Charles Lindberg or Charlie Kingsford Smith like.

 

"More like Amy Johnson" said a young boy, dressed in a school uniform which showed that he was from ..........

[turboplanner]

...........Queensland and a paid up member of the L Movement, the first to split from the alphabet movement, but a little uncertain of where he sat. "I fly a Brumby (Horseref) he said, having read the AUF Magazine twice. 

Back at the Airport the Mayor of WW (as the locals call it) was welcoming Turbo to town. The Challenger rolled in, a very welcome sight; they'd had to hunt 200 cattle off the runways before it landed; some of the cattle were fourth generation, bred from three which had fallen out of a Stock Truck in 2003 and roamed wild on the airfield.

"We're here today to welcome Mr Trubo who will be investing $30 million and creating 2000 new jobs for WW, at my request" he said "I've always liked planes ever since I made a paper one in 1996" he continued, "and it will be handy to see two or three using the runways while we are building the new Transport Hub and Eco Industrial Centre and Bulk Factory Disposals stores." The 250 developers clapped loudly and nudged each other with a wink that this turkey had been a great investment to get on Council; their "eco" part was going to be a 500 litre water tank near the neon lit entrance. Turbo smiled as he stepped up, thanked the Mayor for his warm welcome and said "As the new owners of the historic Wagga Wagga Airport, I commend you all at wishing to preserve this historic site. We promise you that we will be keeping the footpring of our "AUF History Museum" as small as possible and $25 million will be allocated to the museum which will be two stories, one at ground level and the other along with 20 Ha of hangars built underground. The last $5 million will be used to rip up the runways and buy grass seed to return the Wagga Wagga Airfield to its historic origins as an all-over field." The Mayor b.................

[onetrack]

......oasted that Wagga Wagga would become the poster boy for airfield redevelopment, Australia-wide, and just the tourism stream from coming to look at it, would be valued at $38.677M, calculated on an annual basis, taking into account seasonal conditions, and external influences.

 

However, there was a niggling problem that started to raise its head, right after redevelopment started. A company with tenuous links to Turbine Inc., was revealed as the financier behind the project, and it was being rumoured that this company didn't actually have any funds itself, but it was still attempting to raise funds to finance the whole development, mainly from "Mum and Dad" Asian investors, plus the odd Chinese company manager, who had some miscellaneous "surplus" funds to invest. 

 

As the project started to flounder thanks to subbies not being paid, suppliers still waiting for payment after 6 months, wages arrears, superannuation not being paid - plus the lunches tab at the local lunch bar being outstanding for so long, the lunches became "cash only" - and the whole deal was starting to look like the wheels were falling off, before it even got off the ground, so to speak.

 

Turbo announced he'd hold a special meeting to address the funding concerns, and soothe the growing anger. He took the podium, and no sooner than he'd arranged his notes, than the first tomato landed on his.......

[bull]

.impressive model of WW airpark and Amazon wharehouse ,,the red splatter resembled.............

[turboplanner]

........the flattening of Dresden. "There will be no more above-ground air parks like that" he said, correctiong the desperate misinformation by the developers, "And as far as the money is concerned" he said, pulling out a wad of notes and paying all the contractors, "there's a lot more where that came from, and I've fired the Paymaster, Nob from Japan, who was spending it all down at the Travellers Arms. We'll be dozing the last of these old rusty relics down by the end of the months and open for All-Over field fly ins two weeks later."

 

CASA made a bad mistake in deciding that since this was an all over field, it wasn't worth doing ramp checks there, and 9,780 responses were received from AUF pilots, saying they were flying in.

 

Pilots started calling inbound on the radio a week before the event and were clearly uncertain of what an all over field meant, not looking at the 32 wind socks around the perimeter, which gave the field a carnival atmosphere, but ..........

[bull]

the jabiru pilots where seen to be flying around in lost circles not knowing what to do ,,we can not land on that green stuff we need bitumen !! A load roar of applause broke out amongst the AUF crowd,finally we can get away from those plastic thingys said old Bull and have really regressed to what the AUF was intended for in the first place.   Well all over the land there where people pulling grandpa,s old MX,s and scouts out of the shed pressure washed em and stole the house victa mower engine and the rag and tube market started going through the roof , whilst at the same time all the fake 200kt ultralights and jabirus where finding it hard to find buyers as the................

Edited June 4, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

....."AllOverField" (AOF) craze took hold. Developers started buying 100 Ha blocks of land for $50 million, dozing the factories which were only being used to store old boats with blown outboards, outdoor BBQs and pool tables, and using the Wal Mart principle, charging $10/hour for aircraft hire, selling bumper stickers with "No Jabirus", "Jabirus Go Round", "Skyfoxes have Mange", AOFs started to appear in every town. People in the Pubs would say "Where have you been?" to someone standing there in a hat with "I'm a REAL Pilot" and leather Jacket patched to "Hell's Scouts" or MX Comancheros, and they were given free coffees at McDonalds, and .............

[bull]

two stroke oil at Sam,s garage,now Sam was a smart cookie and he soon had a ....................

[turboplanner]

....thriving business supplying rings, reboring and selling his Anti Shock Cooling kits.

He extended business to nose wheels, wing tips, and seat dry cleaning, and soon owned ...................

[onetrack]

.....agencies for all brands and models of ultralights - and to help sales along, Sam was soon offering a decent size Kincrome toolkit, free with every new ultralight kit sold. He learnt this sales technique by watching the infomercials on TV, offering free steak knives with every item sold.

Sam had thought about offering a free steak knife set with every ultralight kit, but decided that was cheapening recreational flying down to daytime TV level, and decided against it.

Besides, a set of Kincrome tools was more useful to the average ultralight builder - whereas a set of steak knives might end up being rammed in frustration through every second component in a kit, that didn't line up properly.

Sales rocketed when the news of the free Kincrome toolkits got around, and the ultralight kits rolled up faster than he could find places to store them for pickup - until that fateful day, when the Kincrome  sales agent said, "Sam, you can't....

[bull]

...keep giving these kits away ,we only agreed to supply 4 kits for advertising purposes not 400  now am ,at the trade rate mate you owe us ................

[turboplanner]

.....$396,000. Sm who knew a thing or two about business said "Where did it say that in the contract".

The Kinchrome salesman, like many was notorious for his sloppy paperwork, and .........

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....$396,000. Sm who knew a thing or two about business said "Where did it say that in the contract".

The Kinchrome salesman, like many was notorious for his sloppy paperwork, and .........

.... was also a bit sloppy with his .....

[turboplanner]

....ratchet.....

[Captain]

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....ratchet.....

..... which bull missread to be "Racket".

 

And speaking of rackets, bull had had an epiphany after he read about the AOA's (AllOverAirfield's) [and not the cheaper & more rudimentary AOF concept as proposed by Turbs].

 

"That is where Grollo went wrong" said bull "As they wasted their time trying to build stuff. bull Enterprises (bE) will take the opposite approach and I have recently purchased 500 new houses from successful 1st home buyers and will be knocking them down to make another AOA. My company will rhyme with Grollo and will be named after an idea that my # 3 girlfriend provided (bull has always had several girlfriends on the go, & competing for his favors at any given time, since puberty). My new company will be called "Swallow" and we will henceforth be known for our ...........

Edited June 4, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.................white birds...............................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.................white birds...............................

.... lives matter (WBLM) as who else would make the sandwiches for the Fly-Ins, and that ......

[turboplanner]

......DC who's been shooting swallows to make pies will be the new Dingo dogger for outer  Mount Isa where there are some very rough types................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......DC who's been shooting swallows to make pies will be the new Dingo dogger for outer  Mount Isa where there are some very rough types................

..... and that's just at the CWA Meetings.

 

Based on Turbo's post it is clear that Dogging has come to Isa, just like it is now the main activity 5 nights each week in DG, which .....

Edited June 5, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

...... means that instead of popping bunnies in DG, the nocturnal activities have turned to popping dogs, which have become a real nuisance in the DG town centre, ever since CT released a.......