The Never Ending Story

[bull]

 and professional and too the point ! Quote: I am only going to release the one statement:He said,,," I did not have sexual relations with any of those woman at any time during these past couple of days and further proclaim that i................ 

Edited June 20, 2022 by bull

[onetrack]

....am innocent of all the reputed charges - none of which have actually been issued, because they're all rumour and gossip". At that, gasps were heard in the room, and several of the CWA women fainted.

 Turbo used this diversion to make a hasty exit, whereupon after reaching the outside of the building, who should he meet, but none other than.......

[turboplanner]

........the tentaculed soldier who made a lunge for his leg. Turbo hd sidestepped but another tentacle had lashed out and  bruised his coxic. He was helpless and in great pain when CT walked round the corner and BANG! the TS was stretched out on the ground. The two looked at each other and across at the manure pond which was only ever drained once every century of so...................

 

[Turbo believes this might be the first murder on the NES]

 

[bull's story about the Bowen River Rodeo is a reminder of an incident which occurred in Victoria's past when the population were allowed to have fun, particularly at Cabbage Tree Creek where the pub ran all night and the locals still played two up. The Cabbage Tree Creek Pastoral and Agricultural Society decided to run a TV ad in Sale for their Annual Show, which had always featured a Rooster Chase for the kids. It was just simple logic that whoever caught it took it home chopped its head off and ate it. Life was like that. The ad caught the attention of a country member of AnimalsForJustice who believed killing of animals could bring the Wrath of God and people should eat corn flakes. She told the City Secretary and after some discussion on what a rooster really was, there was a March and Protest on the steps of Parliament. This triggered the ambitions of Cecil Monk who was the Chief Inspector of the RSPCA, always had his pencils sharpened, and a previous FoI with CASA.[avref] He hit the evening news front and centre with an an outraged comment that Rooster Chases were cruel and illegal.  In Cabbage Tree Creek Arthur Evans, 64, had just sat down to his roast in front of the TV. He was Mayor of Cabbage Tree Creek, recorder for the CTC BOM Weather Station (he used to say global warming was BS dreamed up by City people), Full Back for the CTC Demons, Captain of the Frire Brigade and President of the CTC Pastoral and Agricultural Society. He picked up the phone beside the lounge chair and asked for the boss of the TV Station. The next night Arthur still with a layer of Service Station grease on his face was front and centre, explaining that the Rooster Chase had been a tradition for 120 years and wasn't going anywhere. The next night we saw Cecil in a uniform, a belt full of do dads and his legs astride standing in front of six other Inspectors all glowering, repeating that Rooster Chases were illegal, and if necessary they would get in their cars, come to CTC and enforce the law.  The following night Arthur was shown in the middle of eating a lamb chop, looking up and saying "Well we look forward to seeing him; the Rooster Chase is still on." By the Saturday people all over Australia had tuned in to the evening news to see what had happened. The RSPCA Inspectors were clearly exhausted as they got out of their cars at the CTC showgrounds. They had initially been refused entry at the gate on Arthur's orders, but eventually his brother, Sergeant Evans talked him into letting them in. All the Channels had cameras and OB Vans there, even the ABC, and Arthur had delayed the Rooster Chase to the end of the day to maximise publicity. Finally the announcer called all the children to go to a horse float, nicely in camera range for the Rooster Chase. They stood in a line 20 metres away, and the Football Coach explained the rules and told them to be ready because a lot of roosters had managed to get the jump and run into the bush all around the showground. The Coach counted down then snatched the door open and out jumped Arthur in a rooster suit. The TV cameras finished the shoot with Cecil bitterly criticising the waste of public money in having important officials drive for 7 hours, and Arthur in the distance followed by the children.]

[Captain]

 !

Edited June 20, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

....but when the swamp was finally drained each century, it revealed an amazing array of discarded, abandoned and largely stolen items. However, the greatest prize that the 2022 manure pond draining revealed was a selection of WW2 fighter aircraft, all quite well preserved by the manure that permeated every remote part of the aircraft and which manure sealed the surfaces from corrosion.

 

Turbo's eyes gleamed (despite the bruised coccyx pain), as he sighted in the pond sludge, a Mustang, a Kittyhawk, three Boomerangs, at least two Avro Ansons, and a Vultee Vengeance (please note the desperately needed avref, without any reference to roosters, or the other menagerie of farm animals).

 

CT's eyes bulged at the revelation of what the pond bottom had revealed. This was much bigger than anything that had ever happened in Darraweit Guim - where the biggest event of the year was slushing out Farmer Freds back paddock dam, which only ever revealed 15 sheep carcasses, about 300 yabbies (which were rapidly scooped up by the local crows), a roll of rusty ringlock fencing wire, and the rusted rear mudguards from an FX Holden ute, that had once been part of.......

 

[OT's mind is boggled by this totally overwhelming "War & Peace" tome presented by Turbo, and wonders if Turbo is still coming down from his drug-induced high, after his massive overdose of amphetamines that he took - which pills were mistaken for Panadol, which was what he was actually seeking, to reduce his bruised coccyx pain]

[turboplanner]

. .....his three point linkage implement collection. He'd used his Lincoln Farm Welder to add a trigger link at the top which turned it into a tipper. It was a bit heavy lifting it back up and that's why it had been dumped in the dam.

 

The question was how to get the WW2 aircaft into the WUNTRAK DISPOSALS LABORATORY where serial numbers were handled , inspection documents produced, and a lot of fun had by all in mock dogfights until one day Cappy ................

 

[Cappy has been quite overcome by the rapid speed of the NES narrative]

 

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

[Cappy has been quite overcome by the rapid speed of the NES narrative]

Poor Cappy is still on page 685.

[turboplanner]

....who was still on Page 685 of the Manual for his new Rolls Royce Drop-Head, the one with the cigar thermidor which is opened by a steering wheel button, and the brolly compartment where you stick it in the end of the door, and the driver's seat elevator so he can see over the steering wheel - all standard equipment showing the marketing skills of RR who these days employ ex FBI profilers, who in turn found that 96% of Rolls Royce buyers were short men, but nevertheless and as exciting as it is to have your first st sirt siht sit in your new Rolls, one day Cappy who had landscaped an all-over field next to his Chateau, managed to get the Vultee Vengeance started when none of the team were around to watch after him. Setting his gin glass on the compass he tried to remember the pre-takeoff drill.

Originally it was just called the Vultee, but after accounting for 285 US Navy Pilots the Vengeance part was added.

White the VV engine produced over 2000 hp, it came on in slow stages and this is what had fooled so many airmen, Cappy about to be the latest; he gave it full throttle and it lumbered across the paddock gathering speed, but not looking like it was going to clear the trees. Just as he jammed the throttle through the gate, pulled the stick back and hit the War Power button the engine kicked up to full power. To his surprise Cappy suddenly found he was vertical at 500 feet and about to go over on his back.

 

The Gumly Gumly Daily Reader reported the story about the big Cessna which had landed on the Wagga Wagga Piggery.

 

"I was shocked, said Mrs Schulz, it's not something we expect to see; this is a nice neighbourhood."

"I heard a noise when the engine stalled" said Wally Blacksmith "you could tell it was going to crash; it went round and round then dove straight at the ground hit the corner of the pub and then he crashed"

Captain Robert Starlight, bruised, bleeding and covered in pig manure was offered the option of making a comment, but declined.

Fire Chief Captain Lofty Lox said "......

 

 

[bull]

I,ddddd neeveerr sseeenn anything llliike it!,The look on  CT,s face as he rose from the.............

Edited June 21, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

........piggery floor where a few minutes before he'd found the perfect hide for a rabbit shoot, and now finished up in the story of a Vitee Vengeance crash.

But it wasn't the slowly rising form of CT that shocked Loxie, it was the enormous eyes staring out from a flip flopping mound of dark green blubber that was Cappy.

He was still vibrating at the frequency of the Vultee engine, and little flecks of dark green were spreading all over the witnesses who had rushed to help, speckling them. Soon they were all speckled, and looked like ..............

Edited June 22, 2022 by turboplanner

[bull]

.another pandemic had started,,,,,soon the pandemic controllers  [government] had them all arrested and sent out to Christmas island ..Now this did not go down well with Cappy ,who had risen out of his jelly form to...............

[Captain]

21 hours ago, bull said:

.another pandemic had started,,,,,soon the pandemic controllers  [government] had them all arrested and sent out to Christmas island ..Now this did not go down well with Cappy ,who had risen out of his jelly form to...............

...... to add mixed jelly wrestling to his mixed mud wrestling resume, which is outstanding and is ......

[turboplanner]

.....a mandatory precursor subject within AUF for being qualified to write accident reports each month.

How to identify a flat tyre is another important subject which starts out with "Not all flat tyres are flat at the bottom".

This is not well known outside AUF where the investigators re taught to look for "toppies" Many engine failures are caused by flat tyres which can cause the engine to stall and the aircraft to fall out of the sky.

Another major accident cause is rocks which will ........................

[CT9000]

.......suddenly appear out of a clear blue sky whilst flying in less than perfect visibility but still VMC  (avref) sometimes referred to as cumulus granite.........

[bull]

....itis and it can be contagious if following too closely .........

 

[turboplanner]

....which has led some RA pilots to fit rear vision mirrors.

"Best thing I ever did" said Rabbid. "Now if a CGD creeps up behind me I can see it coming and quickly do a 180."

This caused some consternation on the thread with Foxhunter saying they had deep pockets and Capitain Courageous adding "I just brush them off when I'm driving."

"What about ............................"

[Captain]

SIDE NOTE - Apparently one of our NESers have been giving one of the Moderators some unwanted attention and Eeeeeeean has sent me the below to post on the NES as a subtle warning.

 

Edited June 24, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

3 hours ago, Captain said:

SIDE NOTE - Apparently one of our NESers have been giving one of the Moderators some unwanted attention and Eeeeeeean has sent me the below to post on the NES as a subtle warning.

 

Sounds a bit like that was meant for you mister Rat! as ALL of the above infringements are well known traits of the Cappy family of you know "RATS" are often found ,"licking" sniffing"and if reports from the BOB are correct very adept at "fondling" as well as the fact he always follows eeeeaannn around on sundays. So are you trying to deflect these facts sir?.................

[bull]

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....which has led some RA pilots to fit rear vision mirrors.

"Best thing I ever did" said Rabbid. "Now if a CGD creeps up behind me I can see it coming and quickly do a 180."

This caused some consternation on the thread with Foxhunter saying they had deep pockets and Capitain Courageous adding "I just brush them off when I'm driving."

"What about ............................"

Bull ,,,well said Bull as these rocks come out of the mist at a high speed ,well i have got no problem with the jackaroo at 20kts [18kts stall speed with 40 %flaps  as combined flaps with ailerons]  just full right or left rudder wherever is more room and spin in almost it,s own length and then full throttle and climb out into safe airspace away from the cumulus Granititis jerms ah! [ps i filled this one up with much needed avrefs]

[turboplanner]

So on the other hand can't read English that well, prefering Cantonese where Cumulous Granite means ................

[bull]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

So on the other hand can't read English that well, prefering Cantonese where Cumulous Granite means ................

....velly Hard lock ahead, crimb crimb.....

[onetrack]

......into rear seats, because front seats about to disappear in a..........

[turboplanner]

...... puff of fairy dust."

They just made it.

"We out of control" said Chu Wing

"Well grab XXXXXX control then" replied Wing Chood.

"What control?" yelled CW

"We gonna be Chop suey soon" replied WC

But after some rummaging, CW found the elevator cable and shwed WC who took it in his teeth and grabbed the throttle cable, but ..................

 

[bull]

then realised it was  ...............

[turboplanner]

.....the live side and he was the earth, and like the dog that peed on the electric fence he let go. 
The aircraft spiraled then it unspiraled 

[rare a red, extra 10 points: Mod 2 - the quiet one] and hay shed headed straight for it.