The Never Ending Story

[bull]

at it's terminal velocity of 70kts with the now dislodged CW hanging onto a wingtip with the grip of  death,,your gunna have to let go so the rest of us can survive screamed Wing Chood as Chop suey started spewing and it went straight along the wing [as they where still in a spin with CW hanging on for grim life]and splattered all over ............

23 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....the live side and he was the earth, and like the dog that peed on the electric fence he let go. 
The aircraft spiraled then it unspiraled 

[rare a red, extra 10 points: Mod 2 - the quiet one] and hay shed headed straight for it.

 

[turboplanner]

....Cappy who was hanging on to CT's belt. Cappy saw it coming but in the panic to avoid a faceful he let go, but with a superhuman (because that's who Cappy is) stretch, he managed to brab the aileron with the tips of his fingers.

 

Not many people know that Cappy has exceptionally strong finger grip.This came from the training for his years on the Guinea Bisseau Show, Ninja Warriors which lasted for 17 seasons. Over there they didn't need props, they just used the trees, and there were no safety water features, so you developed very strong finger strength because it was a long way down, and .................

[onetrack]

......there were specially-positioned West African Crocodiles waiting for you, if you fell. Now, it needs to be widely advertised that the West African Crocodile is also known as the Sacred Crocodile, and this is because it was once worshipped as a God - and the West African Crocodiles have a mystical connection with Bazoule.

These Crocodiles also represent the souls of ancestors, and if a West African Crocodile dies, it is given a funeral worthy of a human. 

 

However, the entrants on the Ninja Warriors Show knew nothing of this background to the West African Crocodile - they knew only that Crocodiles were waiting for them if they failed - and that is something they dared not contemplate, and which only spurred them onto Ninja Warrior greater efforts.

 

In fact, to this very day, you only have to mention the word "Crocodile" to Cappy, and his nostrils dilate, his breathing and heartbeat quickens, and that famous finger grip strength immediately shows up, as he leaves finger-deep impressions in whatever is near to hand - just as he does to the instrument panel whenever he's flying as pax to Turbo. Accordingly, you never....

[turboplanner]

...mention it. As usual Turbo fogot his manners at the RSL and when the waiter served cold Consomme, he said under his breath "I should have fed him to the crocodiles when I had the chance"  This was a way of increasing your point in GB, and quite acceptable in the game. What was to hand tonight was Mavis, who was already irritated at the attention he was giving a couple of young scrubbers, and when he sank the fingers in .........................

[bull]

.........to ice bucket to refill his glass, she whispered in his ear something that made him get excited.....Holy toledo said Mavis i have never seen you so..............

Edited July 4, 2022 by bull

[onetrack]

....drunk! - that's not the ice bucket! - that's the......

[turboplanner]

....Chamber pot."

Cappy wasn't old enough to know what the term meant, and had never seen one, so Mavis, as undiplomatic as ever, explained in her laguage which was never subtle.

Cappy withdrew his hand like lightning and quickly disinfected it with his whisky.

Since he was already swaying and bleary eyed, the Sudanese security guard grabbed him and ran for the door (to keep his momentum up.

Cappy found himself out on the footpath, and ..............

[onetrack]

...without even his drink in his hand, that he thought he'd previously had. Cappy leaned against the wall of the RSL to stop the world from spinning around him for a bit. He knew  they wouldn't let him back in too soon, and that Sudanese bloke looked mean. 

The sun was getting hotter, and he was getting thirsty again - but at least the world had stopped spinning. He spotted an Uber coming down the street, and tried to hail him - completely forgetting that you can't hail Ubers.

He rummaged for his phone. His phone!! - It was gone!! - it must have been that sleazy-looking Sudanese bloke - Cappys mind went back to that article he read about the bloke who cycled the length of Africa, and who said, "Remember, every African you meet, is out to scam you, rip you off, or steal from you!"

His heart sank, that was his 15 year old Samsung, and it was the best phone he'd ever owned, and now it was........

[turboplanner]

......in the hands of someone driving an Audi that belonged to a lawyer and his phone was likely to be lost in the inevitable police chase and torching.

What could he do?

Then he remembered his "Find Me!" number from the days before "apps". It showed the Latitude and Longitude co ordinates, effectively an ADSB when it activated. It failed in the market because the first millennials didn't know what "co ordinates" meant.

He walked to the Wagga Wagga Police Station, carefully scouted to ensure Constable Doubtfire wasn't on shift, and explained how both his phone and probably a stolen Audi/Benz/BMW could be located.

There was a bit of doubt among the Constables as to what to do, because Cappy was still swaying, but the Sergeant came out and told them to get on with it, it was worth a try.

They made the call, and to their surprise up came the co ordinates. A quick check on https://flightaware.com/live/ showed a Mercedes Benz-AMG GT Black Series, on the stolen list cruising through Gumly Gumly.

The Wagga Wagga SWAT team was mobilised, including the new Khaki painted Nissan Leaf, and they headed for GG, where ................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[bull]

.the leaf ran out of range after getting to the edge of town and they had to walk carrying all their tactical gear with them .   Flarrk this said the sergeant, and called constable doubtfire to bring out the d/max as reliability is what was needed for this operation and then................ 

[onetrack]

....without warning, a 912ULS powered Drifter roared into view and aimed straight at them in a shallow dive! The SWAT team threw their heavy gear away and dived into the nearest roadside ditch.

As the Drifter roared over their heads, missing them by what seemed like only about 3 feet - but which in reality, was actually about 20 feet - they heard a gloating cackling voice, and saw the faint glint of a.......

[bull]

.sheen on the "water" they had just dived into,and soon discovered it was an open sewer from the Gummly gumly caravan park and they...............

[bull]

.

On 09/07/2022 at 2:55 PM, bull said:

.sheen on the "water" they had just dived into,and soon discovered it was an open sewer from the Gummly gumly caravan park and they...............

....suddenly discovered that this situation they have found themselves in, has put all NES members into solitude and internet "silence"......now this made the NES go into complete silence [except for the demented ramblings of an old man ] .complete silence only broken by the..........

Edited July 11, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

...whispered prayers of the Wreckflying pilots association, all hoping it wouldn't be their aircraft getting a camo spray this time because ................

[bull]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...whispered prayers of the Wreckflying pilots association, all hoping it wouldn't be their aircraft getting a camo spray this time because ................

....the sh%t they used last time had soaked all throught the.............

[turboplanner]

...fabric. [avref]

So they shifted to venue to Temora, knowing there would only be three spectators, no CASA, and hopefully no dung flingers.

Three Drifters, two Thrusters, and a Scout showed up (although the Scout arrived on the roof of a Land Cruiser).

Cappy was asked to judge the best presented aircraft. He picked the one with the least pigeon spots and the fly in was underway.

A Drifter from Orange won the Spot-Landing competition, touching down just 378 metres from the painted mark, and it was on to the Slowest Landing Speed which was being judged courtesy of the NSW Highway Patrol who .......

[onetrack]

.....had got bored with no "kills" on the local highways and who thought they might be able to nail someone in an aircraft landing on a road (no rego, no insurance etc, etc, yadda, yadda).

But the NSW HP soon became bored with the slow speeds of the aircraft and set off to find other, more rewarding returns - thus leaving the fly-in organisers in the lurch, with no accurate speed measuring abilities.

But it wasn't too long before an agent from Turbine Inc was on the scene, offering the companys latest CASA-approved product, a speed-measuring device that could also be used in conjunction with a....

[turboplanner]

.....panic sensor developed by the Royal Brisbane  and Womens Hospital as part of childbirth monitoring.

Everyone present agreed this was a good fit for someone landing a Drifter.

The competition started with a monumental .............

 

[Edit: There is obviously some difference beween a Brisbane and a Woman in Queensland, but whether they both give birth or hate men was not possibly to certify in the short time for a post]

Edited July 13, 2022 by turboplanner

[bull]

On 13/07/2022 at 5:11 PM, turboplanner said:

.....panic sensor developed by the Royal Brisbane  and Womens Hospital as part of childbirth monitoring.

Everyone present agreed this was a good fit for someone landing a Drifter.

The competition started with a monumental .............

 

[Edit: There is obviously some difference beween a Brisbane and a Woman in Queensland, but whether they both give birth or hate men was not possibly to certify in the short time for a post]

clusterfuc and this was something Cappy could not handle and he.............

[turboplanner]

......turned his back which saved his life.

The cluster had come loose, and flying through the air was a ....................

[onetrack]

.....gear from the cluster, which gear, although only small, posed a real threat to life and limb if it had struck any soft bodily part. Fortunately, Cappys heavy leather flying coat (which he always wore, even if it was 40°C in the waterbag), took the brunt of the gear's impact - and this coupled with the fact that everyone always reckoned that anything nasty that ever headed for Cappy, would simply bounce off - as he was regularly called "Mr Teflon", such was his toughness.

Accordingly, the gear simply bounced off Cappy, and in the re-orientation of its trajectory, it then commenced a low earth orbit, whereby it was......

 

Edited July 16, 2022 by onetrack

[bull]

On 17/07/2022 at 9:42 AM, onetrack said:

.....gear from the cluster, which gear, although only small, posed a real threat to life and limb if it had struck any soft bodily part. Fortunately, Cappys heavy leather flying coat (which he always wore, even if it was 40°C in the waterbag), took the brunt of the gear's impact - and this coupled with the fact that everyone always reckoned that anything nasty that ever headed for Cappy, would simply bounce off - as he was regularly called "Mr Teflon", such was his toughness.

Accordingly, the gear simply bounced off Cappy, and in the re-orientation of its trajectory, it then commenced a low earth orbit, whereby it was......

 

...seen to be controlled some how! The gear started to curve around and go towards Turbo ,who was as usual wearing his chain mail,[which over the years had slowly became magnetic !,something to do  with electric toys . What sort of toys he wouldnt say!  ].anyhow the gear made a bee line for Turbo as he ................

Edited July 18, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

 .... in the SpaceDrifter with his encabulator at Force 10 was being tracked by the guy at NASA [not a mistake; the other 73,000 are busy putting titles on the 3 billion snapshots they've taken to date, making climate change predictions, and writing their reports on why the Shuttle Program was an absolute failure, why Netflix hadn't been connected at the Space Station, and why computer geeks and lawnmower salesman could launch Space Missions with less than 30,000 desked technicians, and a budget of 16 trillion.]

The guy's name was Elvis Presley (no not that one, this guy had odd parents and they were from Nebraska), and as he watched ........................

[bull]

............the paint dry on his brand new..........

 

[onetrack]

.....desk, which was fitted with some of the best high-tech tracking devices known to Man, Elvis itched to get back to the dry desk, and lock onto this low-orbit unidentified flying object, which had previously just simply identified itself with a one-word transmission, as "SpaceDrifter" - to try and find out where it had come from, what it was doing, and why it had flown low over Area 51 - which had of course, triggered..........