The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

....the departure of the CIA's newest SpyFight planes. These had be designed by millenials so there wasn't a control that couldn't be operated by two tumbs or Siri. Its cruise speed was secret, not even Turbo knew, and its radar could lock onto the smallest object in the air.

 

But it missed Cappy who had been rummaging around Turbine/Area51 supplies one day and had found the small instrument, solar powered to save the environment, which when attached to an aircraft totally removed its radar signal, and he'd bolted it on to his SpaceDrifter just for fun.

 

Area51 tried calling it, like putting freshly baked pies next to a foxhole and covering it with a  12 gauge, but there was no word from Cappy who was ..................

[bull]

.happily clicking away at the strange aircraft half in half out of a hangar ,unnoticed by Cappy was the bloody big ..............

Edited July 19, 2022 by bull

[bull]

17 hours ago, bull said:

.happily clicking away at the strange aircraft half in half out of a hangar ,unnoticed by Cappy was the bloody big ..............

.range of nasty looking specially designed spacedrifter missiles [they had learnt something after the last time] and these now powered up and started to t................

[turboplanner]

...ick slowly with a ......................

[bull]

.very annoying rhythm,,,the  impact of such was felt as far as....................

[Captain]

On 20/07/2022 at 8:54 AM, bull said:

.very annoying rhythm,,,the  impact of such was felt as far as....................

...... the Nimbin Writer's Festival, Tie-Dying competition and Nudie Run (this event has something for everyone, so it is just like Tasmania in the tropics), where ......

[turboplanner]

.......there is a small, but active group of Recreational Aircraft designers and builders who sit out under the ficus tree every morning clad only in Y fronts, drinking coffee. For a while the numbers were perolously close to having to wind up the group but Jackass came up with the idea of letting in people who hadn't finished their projects and overnight the numbers swelled to 72, and they were able to form their own guitar group.

 

As all good NES readers know, we left Cappy capturing photos of the SpyFight plane, and we just know he'll make some sort of deal and buy one the replace the Jab 230 which he'd built, and which, not to put too fine a point on it, had fallen to bits by 50 hours use, primarily because he didn't know how to use a rivet gun.

 

The ticking continued but was faster now as one of the SpaceDrifter missiles glowed red and then silently headed straight for his ..............................

 

 

[Captain]

On 22/07/2022 at 4:39 AM, turboplanner said:

The ticking continued but was faster now as one of the SpaceDrifter missiles glowed red and then silently headed straight for his ..............

...... equally red .......

[turboplanner]

...............Annis Horibilis.

It was the ticking that woke CT up and simultaneously brought the shotgun to his shoulder. This rapid resonse from a dead sleep had accountd for many rabbits in the past as well as three pet cats.

Not many people know that you can put a missile's aim off just by throwing a tennis ball at it, or ...........

[CT9000]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...............Annis Horibilis.

It was the ticking that woke CT up and simultaneously brought the shotgun to his shoulder. This rapid resonse from a dead sleep had accountd for many rabbits in the past as well as three pet cats.

Not many people know that you can put a missile's aim off just by throwing a tennis ball at it, or ...........

....even a well aimed shot from the trusty Reuger......

[turboplanner]

........and that's what CT did, no one knew he had a Reuger, and this blew the NES view of him as a shotgun person. Who knows, he may spend his summers in Europe assassinating people for the UN who are into that sort of thing.

Unlike the assassins who fire off 150 shots to kill four baddies in a movie, CT's shot put the missile just enough off track to head for ..................................

[CT9000]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........and that's what CT did, no one knew he had a Reuger, and this blew the NES view of him as a shotgun person. Who knows, he may spend his summers in Europe assassinating people for the UN who are into that sort of thing.

Unlike the assassins who fire off 150 shots to kill four baddies in a movie, CT's shot put the missile just enough off track to head for ..................................

........anywhere he wanted due to the combination of the tele sight and the magnum ammo.......

[onetrack]

.....which had been specially reloaded by CT using 150 grain soft points and smokeless powder, which was specifically aimed at avoiding his round firing being picked up by the...........

[bull]

.heat seeking ground mines that where every.................

Edited July 24, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

.....where where there was a rabbit burrow.

This had allowed CT to stay in bed on those frosty mornings listening to the series of BANGS! not unlike the D Day landing, as the bunnies came out to feed.

 

However, it also woke the Guimmers, as the locals called themselves, and they called a meeting.

 

Most of the new arrivals were vegans, and a good portion of the rest had joined Animal Rescue Brigade thinking that because they were now in the country there would be a lot of Koalas to save.

 

Not many people know that if you see a rabbit in a paddock, and leave it alone, their explosive growth is such that the paddock with be carpeted with rabbits in three weeks.

 

CT, knowing this, appeared at the meeting contrite, and said he would use the new soundless mines, introduced where wars were taking place next to quiet neighbourhoods.

 

This didn't cut it with the Animal Rescue Brigade in their green fluoro suits, so he quietly agreed to stop using mines and stop shooting the bunnies; knowing what was coming next and headed for Noosa, smiling to himself.

 

Three weeks later there was an urgent call from the President of the CWA; the rabbits were eating her fucsias.

 

When he got back home he found rabbit holes all through the town; a warren had collapsed under the main road. The ARB had now been made Rabbit Wardens tasked to find and destroy any rabbit in the district and they now drove around town with the siren blaring and 50 pair of gutted rabbits hanging from the hand rails. A city meatworks sent up a refrigerated van, old Arthur Smith's Hardware Store sold the 40 dozen steel jaw rabbit traps that had been banned, and you walked around town ready to throw yourself to the ground as shotgun blasts rang out.

 

CT .............

 

 

 

 

 

[onetrack]

......grinned from ear to ear. This was more like the real country life he enjoyed. He opened the gun cabinet, and carefully inspected all 28 firearms he owned, stroking his chin while deep in thought.

There must be some way he could mount at least 17 of the weapons on his Drifter, to end up with it looking like a miniature XB-40 - something the rabbits would squeal in terror at, the instant they sighted it, let alone feel the flying lead coming from it, as CT dive-bombed every rabbit burrow, or every group of constantly-fornicating rabbits he spotted. Finally, he knew what he was going to do. He set up......

[CT9000]

48 minutes ago, onetrack said:

......grinned from ear to ear. This was more like the real country life he enjoyed. He opened the gun cabinet, and carefully inspected all 28 firearms he owned, stroking his chin while deep in thought.

There must be some way he could mount at least 17 of the weapons on his Drifter, to end up with it looking like a miniature XB-40 - something the rabbits would squeal in terror at, the instant they sighted it, let alone feel the flying lead coming from it, as CT dive-bombed every rabbit burrow, or every group of constantly-fornicating rabbits he spotted. Finally, he knew what he was going to do. He set up......

.......the bomb release system for the percussion mortars on the undercart of the trusty Skyfox.   Then installed the interrupter from an old ww1 scout for the machine gun on the top cowl.  Plan in place now to drop mortars, frighten bunnies enough to stop fornicating  to allow time to strafe the area then sell off the mining rights to recover the lead. ........

[turboplanner]

4 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

.......the bomb release system for the percussion mortars on the undercart of the trusty Skyfox.   Then installed the interrupter from an old ww1 scout for the machine gun on the top cowl.  Plan in place now to drop mortars, frighten bunnies enough to stop fornicating  to allow time to strafe the area then sell off the mining rights to recover the lead. ........

.......and as he spoke, Captain Cook V, stopped snoring and paid very close attention. This was a Master Plan, dripping dollars with every move; millions from selling his mortars, millions from collecting the rabbit carcases and selling them to the restaurant trade as Quail Enlarge, millions from buying the mining rites from his friend CT 9000, hiring a Turbin Ag Air Tractor to spray clear lead-based paint over the entire 40,000 Ha and then reselling the mining rights based on the latest assessment - What could possibly go wrong. The mining rights were bought by the group known as the Carlton Crew, portrayed very unfairly in Underbelly and .........................

[bull]

21 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......and as he spoke, Captain Cook V, stopped snoring and paid very close attention. This was a Master Plan, dripping dollars with every move; millions from selling his mortars, millions from collecting the rabbit carcases and selling them to the restaurant trade as Quail Enlarge, millions from buying the mining rites from his friend CT 9000, hiring a Turbin Ag Air Tractor to spray clear lead-based paint over the entire 40,000 Ha and then reselling the mining rights based on the latest assessment - What could possibly go wrong. The mining rights were bought by the group known as the Carlton Crew, portrayed very unfairly in Underbelly and .........................

.the closest any of them had been to mining ,was digging holes roughly 6ft deep for body disposals and digging up the stash etc,,so the lead paint worked a treat as they could be seen out in the paddock with some millennium designed electronic device ,that would tell you all the mineral content without digging ,just by waving it over the paint. ...Well the lead readings where off the clock and soon all patched /unpatched legal and illegal bike clubs from all over Australia where tossing wads,,,and i mean "wads" of cash at Captain Cook V [aka the RAT]and he now realized that  ,once they start digging he could be in a bit of shite .  The escape plan started to take shape in his mind ,,,,he would first..............

[turboplanner]

....climb to the top of the pile. It was a defence tactic he and Turbo had learnt when, as members of the Black Watch they had climbed their way into a narrow part of the Khyber Pass and although it ws unspoken, they both knew they would fight to the end. The trick was to get Turbo started because he was always designing things like solar powered escalators, even in those years.

They had to start rapid firing because there were hordes on Hindus and they were gettig closer, but the narrow valley, only a metre wide at that point allowed them to take on a line of 10 Hindus at a time, and they would slide off the cliff, allowing another 10 to present nd the same would happen again. The turbans flow out into space all over the place, and urbo and Cappy grabbed one each to keep warm during the freezing night by wrapping to 30 metres of clot around themselves. On about day 3 they were getting hungry and as a line of Hindus dropped over the side into the Abyss, Turbo gingerly looked out and saw a mountain ram standing on a rock distracted by a ewe. The rifle cracked and they had lunch for the next three days. A shimmering splsh of colour caught his eye from below and he saw a thousand Antssinians all wearing turbans they'd pick up at the foot of the cliff. This could only mean one thing ...............

[bull]

...that Cappy had decided  that he was not gunna get out of this one easy,,,and as can be seen had gone with the ,,,If you can not beat them will brilliance!!!    ,,,,,,, baffle  them with bullshit!!!.................Weelll there was talk of a group of "people" who came looking for Elcapitano and ,they did not look like they where flucking around!! Should i tell them where he is ??asked CT as he slowly backed towards the door as the sound of harleys grew louder!.              ..Turbo turned around and......

Edited July 26, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

............but sure enough before the Harleys got close enough to do any damage he heard that familiar crunch of pistons imploding, the ping of valve heads hitting exhaust pipe, as one by one a hundred Harleys faltered and died, leaving their leader, slightly overweight, hair strands hanging down from his German WW2 helmet, "Easy Rider" stickers on the sides, and patched as "Hells Angels" which never fooled anyone. It was Cappy, rather red-faced now he was alone, a bit embarrassed, and ................

[CT9000]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

............but sure enough before the Harleys got close enough to do any damage he heard that familiar crunch of pistons imploding, the ping of valve heads hitting exhaust pipe, as one by one a hundred Harleys faltered and died, leaving their leader, slightly overweight, hair strands hanging down from his German WW2 helmet, "Easy Rider" stickers on the sides, and patched as "Hells Angels" which never fooled anyone. It was Cappy, rather red-faced now he was alone, a bit embarrassed, and ................

......trying to think up a reason for selling off kero as avgas to these poor misguided motorists that were sucked into the cheap fuel price......

[Captain]

On 31/07/2022 at 10:18 AM, CT9000 said:

......trying to think up a reason for selling off kero as avgas to these poor misguided motorists that were sucked into the cheap fuel price......

....., after all, they said, if kero will run a Lear Jet (a poor man's Flight Design model) then it will work a treat in my Tesla.

 

In reflecting on the above posts, Cappy wanted to explain a couple of key points:

1. The clueless Vic Agriculture Minister had wanted to declare that all rabbits were to be treated like carp, but a misspelling of the word rabbit, due to a cheap auto-collect on her Chinese phone meant that they inserted Koala instead, so all the law abiding Mextorians donged the Koalas on the head and left them on the side of the 5 wonderous creeks around DG.
2. The below photo has come to Cappy's attention and he wishes to make it clear that his GGGGGGFather was not killed by that bloke behind him (who looks a bit like Dan Andrews without the flappers), as he survived the 6" deep flesh wound from that poxy little knife (we Cooks are made of stern stuff) and was rescued by 2 nubile islander maidens ...... who then nearly killed him again over the following few months (The fine specimen Cappy that you all know & love, as a member of Wreck Flying, is the product of one of those near death sessions).

On the other hand, Cappy knows it to be dinkum that Tubb, Onesie and bull are now the leaders of the Comancheros & have changed their names to well respected Lebanese monikers, have each had the required nose-job and have commenced the required ........

 

 

 

 

TURBS, ONESIE AND BULL (ALL MASKED UP TO PREVENT THE SPREAD),

PLUS A FEW MATES FROM THE TYABB AERO CLUB, AT THEIR INITIAL

TAKEOVER MEETING OF THE COMMANCHEROS.

Edited August 4, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

On the other hand, Cappy knows it to be dinkum that Tubb, Onesie and bull are now the leaders of the Comancheros & have changed their names to well respected Lebanese monikers, have each had the required nose-job and have commenced the required ........

.........courses ordered by the magistrate to regain their motorcycle licenses [but where riding honda 50 scooters till they do.]..and their license's had an attachment that they had to..........

Edited August 4, 2022 by bull