The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

ball bearings.

Cappy pulled out his French Merde tobacco and casually rolled a cigarette, lit it up and took a few big puffs.

The big man reeled back nd turned grey ...................

[CT9000]

.......he had never seen a bloke roll a smoke with ammonia nitrate and a stubbie of diesel to wash it down........ 

[turboplanner]

..............but that was Cappy, tough as nails.

The bell rang, Cappy stepped out and let a right go and the big man flopped to the canvas, or since it was the Dubbo Show, grass.

 

The ref asked if anyone else wanted to take Cappy on, but apart from murmurs, there was no response.

 

The nexts ......

[onetrack]

.....thing, Cappy found himself wearing a Blue Ribbon medal with "1st Prize" on it, and being paraded around the crowded ring. But then, his enjoyment of the limelight turned to concern as the fightmaster announced.... "ROLL UP!! ROLL UP!! .... LADEEES AN' GENNELLMEN!!! ... WHO WANTS TO TAKE ON THE FIGHT WINNER?? A GRAND PRIZE OF $250 IS ON OFFER TO ANYONE WHO CAN TAKE DOWN THE KING OF THE RING!!"

 

Cappys increasing concern wasn't without reason, as the biggest and blackest bloke he'd ever seen, suddenly stepped out of the crowd. "I'se yo MAN!!", the big black cried out loudly. "I wanna have a  crack at takin' down da KING!! Ah've took down Mike Tyson, and ah reckon ah kin take down dat braggin' guy!! ......

 

Cappy went pale. This wasn't something he'd envisaged happening in a backwater like Dubbo. It was time to start using.........

[turboplanner]

the powers in his DNA.

 

Not many people know his ancestor, Captain James Cook was actually eaten on that beach in Hawaii. 

He was speared because of a dalliance with King Kamehameha's daughter, Princess Iolani.

She bore a son, Prince Kamehamahah, Cappy's Great Grandfather.

The Hawaiians didn't tolerate mixed race with whites, so the Prince was shipped to Cooktown, where he grew up out of sight out of mind. The museum in Cooktown is actually Price Kamehamahah Palace but we don't talk bout that in the south.

 

Cappy heard the big Base Drums beating out side the tent as the customers were introduced to the big XXXXX .....contender on the plank outside.  The blood of the ancient kings started rising in Cappy as he heard the beat; his eyes turned green; he puffed his lips out and pulled his hair up straight; his eyes became bloodshot, and ...............

 

 

Princess Iolani Palace in Honolulu.

Cappy's great grandfather's mother ruled for 71 years, the second longest ruling monarch in the world.

A statue of her father King Kamehameha dressed in gold (the family had Old Money) sits out the front.

It was said the King had beaten 50 warriors in one battle, without getting a scratch.

 

[bull]

On 27/08/2022 at 11:09 AM, turboplanner said:

the powers in his DNA.

 

Not many people know his ancestor, Captain James Cook was actually eaten on that beach in Hawaii. 

He was speared because of a dalliance with King Kamehameha's daughter, Princess Iolani.

She bore a son, Prince Kamehamahah, Cappy's Great Grandfather.

The Hawaiians didn't tolerate mixed race with whites, so the Prince was shipped to Cooktown, where he grew up out of sight out of mind. The museum in Cooktown is actually Price Kamehamahah Palace but we don't talk bout that in the south.

 

Cappy heard the big Base Drums beating out side the tent as the customers were introduced to the big XXXXX .....contender on the plank outside.  The blood of the ancient kings started rising in Cappy as he heard the beat; his eyes turned green; he puffed his lips out and pulled his hair up straight; his eyes became bloodshot, and ...............

 

 

Princess Iolani Palace in Honolulu.

Cappy's great grandfather's mother ruled for 71 years, the second longest ruling monarch in the world.

A statue of her father King Kamehameha dressed in gold (the family had Old Money) sits out the front.

It was said the King had beaten 50 warriors in one battle, without getting a scratch.

 

..but alas,,,it would not be  another warrior that would kill the king ,but his love for the big "Captain Cook"  burgers of the time had  done him in,and by the age of 65 his heart had  shut down one night.    ...............  pulled his hair up straight; his eyes became bloodshot, and his craving for burger grew.  Now The local Cooktown grease joint takeaway burgers where not that hot.  [some say they could be used for weapons of mass destruction]but the craving was too strong for Cappy and he found himself ordering.............               

Edited August 30, 2022 by bull

[CT9000]

......a chicken salad to counter act the greasy burger he was about to consume.......

[turboplanner]

.............what he didn't know was that a chicken salad in Cooktown was rarely ordered, and usually only by people from "down south", because the "chicken" was a Cassowary and the poor customer was still sitting in the "Tropical Cafe" three hours later trying to .......................

[bull]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.............what he didn't know was that a chicken salad in Cooktown was rarely ordered, and usually only by people from "down south", because the "chicken" was a Cassowary and the poor customer was still sitting in the "Tropical Cafe" three hours later trying to .......................

eat a drumstick they could not pick up !! at the same time complementing the chef on his big "chickens"  Cappy sat over in the corner eating his chicken salad and wondered what the world was coming too when you can not........................

[turboplanner]

...rely on a simple Menu without having to go to the "Definitions" at the back to find out what they meant by chicken.

His mind went back to  that fateful night in Marrakesh. He had been seconded the His Majesty's services, employed by MI5. His Code name was 006.

He parked his MG TF, the best sports car once Great Britain could come up with out the front of the Central Restaurant English Menu Here, and assisted the little Moroccan scrubber out of the somewhat cramped TF's interior.

He ordered "Lamba Dates" in what looked like a nice coloured curry, and was just finishing his dessert wine when the curry kicked in, and ................................

 

 

 

 

 

 

The centre of Marrakesh after Cappy's "accident"

[turboplanner]

On 01/09/2022 at 6:15 AM, turboplanner said:

...rely on a simple Menu without having to go to the "Definitions" at the back to find out what they meant by chicken.

His mind went back to  that fateful night in Marrakesh. He had been seconded the His Majesty's services, employed by MI5. His Code name was 006.

He parked his MG TF, the best sports car once Great Britain could come up with out the front of the Central Restaurant English Menu Here, and assisted the little Moroccan scrubber out of the somewhat cramped TF's interior.

He ordered "Lamba Dates" in what looked like a nice coloured curry, and was just finishing his dessert wine when the curry kicked in, and ................................

 

 

 

 

 

 

The centre of Marrakesh after Cappy's "accident"

.....when the dust finally settled he found himself vey close to the airport.

Through the fence he could see a lone Piper Tripacer; could this be the way out he thought, could ..............

[bull]

.his flatulance be enough to bring this old girl to life?   So there we where standing covered in dust and other matter that was NOT dust,ok said Cappy lets see and proceded to rip his strides down and start farting into a big plastic bag and they hobbled over to the old piper,she was a bit sad with faded fabric ,and a small pool of oil under the engine .  Hmmm said Turbo we will have to.............

[turboplanner]

.....fix this and  he stepped up and told Cappy the story about the Sikh, the Turban (not to be confused with Turbine), and the Khyber Pass.

 

Cappy exploded with laughter, the Continental Series 3A with the special bypass tube coughed into life (a lot of other people were coughing too) and the intrepid four squeezed into the cabin, the first draught-free cabin in the aviation industry - you were really somone in a Tripacer.

 

Cappy was in the left seat, which meant bull was squeezed up agains the right door and it wasn't long before...........

 

[bull]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....fix this and  he stepped up and told Cappy the story about the Sikh, the Turban (not to be confused with Turbine), and the Khyber Pass.

 

Cappy exploded with laughter, the Continental Series 3A with the special bypass tube coughed into life (a lot of other people were coughing too) and the intrepid four squeezed into the cabin, the first draught-free cabin in the aviation industry - you were really somone in a Tripacer.

 

Cappy was in the left seat, which meant bull was squeezed up agains the right door and it wasn't long before...........

 

....before his renown flatulence came into play ,,and as the tired old tripacer gained height[albeit very slowly]the interior of the cabin became unbearable and toxic and Cappy,s eye,s started to water and his hands ..............

[turboplanner]

.......started to shake but the Tripacer, designed by Colin Piper Sr was designed to fly itself; ay least that's what the ad said, and unnerringly the little aircraft stuck to its heading and arrived at ..........................

[bull]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......started to shake but the Tripacer, designed by Colin Piper Sr was designed to fly itself; ay least that's what the ad said, and unnerringly the little aircraft stuck to its heading and arrived at ..........................

.it,s destination,which due to Cappy,s navigation skills ended up being Ukraine.  Now the piper was surrounded by machine guns and it looked very dangerous until Turbo showed them his............

[turboplanner]

........weapon, thinking the soldiers were Russian and would run off.

These however were the Bros; the elite of elite Ukrainian Soldiers and they grabbed Turbo, thinking he was Russian, and ...........
 

 

[onetrack]

....it was only when Turbo started babbling with a Moorabbistan accent, that the Ukrainians relaxed a little, while they figured out what they had. After all, here were two strangers wearing odd attire, speaking a foreign language they couldn't understand - they had arrived unannounced at a high security Ukrainain base, in an unidentified aircraft with strange markings - and furthermore, these two strangers showed no sign of......

[turboplanner]

fright, so they couldn't ne Russians. Cappy had  brainwave and shouted "Bushmaster!, Bushmaster!" and the Ukrainians laughed and said "Welomm Frrinds!, you got spare parts? And ..........

[CT9000]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

fright, so they couldn't ne Russians. Cappy had  brainwave and shouted "Bushmaster!, Bushmaster!" and the Ukrainians laughed and said "Welomm Frrinds!, you got spare parts? And ..........

......turrets for Russian tanks, we have several hundred Russian tanks with the turrets blown off. they were used for a joint venture between Ukraine and Russia to send turrets to outer space. ........

[bull]

7 hours ago, CT9000 said:

......turrets for Russian tanks, we have several hundred Russian tanks with the turrets blown off. they were used for a joint venture between Ukraine and Russia to send turrets to outer space. ........

...and then the language barrier was broken and the bushmaster subject came up and the Ukrainians said......

[turboplanner]

12 hours ago, bull said:

...and then the language barrier was broken and the bushmaster subject came up and the Ukrainians said......

"If you bolted a turret on these things, we could take on and beat the Russian tanks."

Not many people know but one of the most avid reader groups of Recflyin and the NES is the lunchroom group at the Thales Bushmaster Factory. Turbo has been there several times to give short talks and encourage new readers, and it was one of the Senior Managers, muching on his lettuce sandwiches who read rge comment. "Ek Moi?" he said "we could too!"

And six weeks later, with a lilttle blue and yellow flag, the first ............

[onetrack]

....ever Thales Drifter Bushmaster rolled off the assembly line (built under licence, of course - because we aren't China), and half the entire Parliamentary lineup was there to cut ribbons and get in on the photo opportunity.

Albo stepped up to the lectern and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, and valued employees of Thales, we are here today to announce a new phase in Australian Manufacturing - the day when Australia can lift it's head up, and proudly call itself a global-leader in cutting-edge armament-manufacturing. This new design will see the Ukrainians pound the Russian Army and its weaponry to dust, and make Putin realise he has Hitlers chance of winning this war, and the end result will be......

 

Edited September 25, 2022 by onetrack

[Captain]

........ a certain end to the war, as I, the great statesman Albo (some already refer to me as Anthony the Great), have offered Vlad his very own "Voice" to the Stray'yen Parlment, which will be structured similar to the way that DG and Moorrabbin will be independently represented (but not Tazzy or the Sand Monkeys (SM's)) and will have input for ..............

Edited September 25, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

"......compensation to our Elders past present and emerging, like Chuck Bubba Gubba, Mike Mallacoota and Leroy Mullawamullaga, and Auntie Joan."

 

"Where is this new weapon of war?" asked Anthony the Great.

"You're looking at it" said Guillaume MontMartre giving his men a worried look.

"It's capable of taking out 7 Russian tanks per hour" he said, and ............